… (Previous page – Are You Carrie Still looking for Mr. Big? How to Make a Man Commit) more difficult to do things from a place of security rather than insecurity. Remember ladies don’t give away your power.
When considering the question “How to make a Man Commit?” Remember, you can’t “make” anyone do anything. The only person’s behavior you have power to control is your own. “Making” a man commit is kind of like leading a horse to water and then shoving his head under water and wondering why he can’t breathe. In this case, the effort expended to get the horse to drink is too extreme. So if you want a healthy commitment, work to set a positive tone at the beginning stages by setting good boundaries, being your authentic self, keeping your power and being secure in you, and deciding that you will be happy whether he commits to you or not. If he doesn’t, don’t worry. Don’t wait around. There are plenty of men on this earth. After all, you are smart, sexy, and attractive. Any man would be lucky to be with you-Right?
Bio
Javinne J. McCoy
Do you have a knack for attracting emotionally unavailable men or woman? Do you desire to break these kinds of unhealthy relationship patterns and experience healthy love?
Javinne is a nyc based relationship blogger who is the author and creator of http://loveantics.com – The Relationship Blog. Love Antics has an international audience garnering readers from countries like Japan, Africa, and the U.K. Javinne has been a guest author on Digital Romance, Inc. http://digitalromanceinc.com/mens/dating-life-moving-too-fast-why-you-need-to-halt/
Javinne’s mission as writer has been to share the insights, and lessons he has learned from his past relationship experiences with narcissistic and emotional unavailable partners, so others can heal their hearts and learn from their own love lessons.
There are two kinds of love-unhealthy love and healthy love. Do you know the difference?
Join Javinne on http://loveantics.com. Become a subscriber and learn how to navigate the waters of emotional unavailability and create more satisfying relationships.
Want to find out if he’s going to commit? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Going To Commit” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really going to commit to you…
Take The Quiz: Is He Going To Commit?
Related posts:
The Real Reasons Men Don’t Text Back: The Ultimate “Do’s and Don’ts” Guide To Texting
7 Unmistakable Signs A Man Is Ready To Commit
Foolproof Ways To Make A Guy Commit
Man Decoder: The Truth About Why He Won’t Commit
9 Guaranteed Signs He’ll Never Commit
Top 4 Signs You Might Be Dating A Commitment Phobe!
You explain things really well. I now understand my flaws in what I did wrong and I ended up liking someone so much. He ended up actually breaking up with me because I was so serious about him. I’m still crying and it’s been since March.
Yes, this article explains me to the T. However, I will wait forever for a man to commit because I want a guy that is willing, not forced.
I would say that you have a pretty good angle on whether a guy is going to commit or not just by the way he acts around you. If you don’t see those signs after a few years, it might be time to start asking questions.
My b/f makes me feel “worth” it so I am pretty happy right now with the thoughts that we could commit anytime.
That is good news. thank you for sharing that with us and now we can all continue being jealous :)
I am in a relationship for about 8 years. Things have progressed nicely so far and I only have one question. How long should I wait for that commitment?
I made a man commit one time. we were together for like 4 years and i told him that we should get married because it seemed so perfect. He freaked out and thought it was “too early”. I said, well, then lets break up because I do not think it is too early. We were away from each other for 3 weeks before he decided to change his tune :)
I have been with a man for a while now and I think he is not ready to commit. I am thinking that he is not ready to do so emotionally and I am not sure how to bring up the fact that I think we should see someone for the problem.
@Sandra and Susan: Thank you for reading!
I always wondered when the appropriate time for a new “title” was in a relationship. I mean, it is hard to understand what you are to a guy without asking him.
There is a lot of talk about making a man commit on this blog. I am a firm believer that if it is going to happen, it will and it is up to YOU to decide how long you are going to wait and how much work you are going to put into it.
I tend to give the guy a little room if he does not want to commit. A conversation must happen at some point and maybe he’ll come around to it.
I would think that if you are “putting your time in” as the significant other, at some point there will be a title change. If not, you might want to ask what the hold up is.
Commitment is a very funny thing. What might not work for one guy, will be totally opposite for the next.
Yeah, that is why you cannot just assume that one relationship is going to go as well as the one you had in the past.
@ Robin: First, thanks for reading the article. However, remember you deserve the best. So, I would caution against wanting just “ANY” ole’ man to commit to you . If that thought is truly in your heart, you might find yourself settling for “ANY” man down the road (even one that mistreats you or who’s behavior is hurtful) . Being open to a commitment from “ANY” man could open the door for you to be in a situation that is hurtful for you at worst and not satisfying at best. Hang in there! never settle.
Best,
JJM
@ Karen: This is often a very common experience. You do have a lot going for yourself and that is good. It shows you know how to take care of your needs. However consider this, how attractive we are, or the good job we have, or the nice apartment we have, have nothing to do with our ability or capacity to have a healthy relationship. The key is to not feel like something is wrong with you or missing. Keep living your life, like you are. The things we possess have nothing to do with our ability to have or attract the relationships we desire.
See, now this is where there is a problem for me. I feel I am quite attractive, I can get a long with guy just fine. I have a good job and an apartment, but I am not having any luck with relationships that last.
I am not sure that I am acting like Carrie, but it would be nice to have a commitment from ANY man at this point. It seems that the 3 month mark is about where we cut it off, what could be the problem?
Well, what are you doing on your end to find that commitment? It is not going to just fall into your lap.
@ Vivian: You got it Vivian. It is all in the behavior.
Usually, his behavior will tell all you need to know.
Thanks for reading the article.
Best,
JJM
@ Martha: Yes, holding on to your power is important.
You are definitely right about that.
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
Best,
JJM
Very good points!
You man god points Javinne.
@ Sharon: Yes, Sharon exactly! Well said.
Thanks for reading the article.
Best,
JJM
Make a man commit? I found that if you push to hard, into you or not, that will pull him away.
For some men. Others need to be pushed into something like this. Not that they do not want to commit, but they need help getting over that bump in the road.
I think the trick comes down to knowing whether or not the man has actually dedicated himself to you. If you can see and know that he has, then a commitment is in order.
That can be a tough sign to pick up on. If you are an “up front” type of person, you can learn a little faster by just asking.
I like having a little bit of power in a relationship, so that is something that I will NEVER give up on.
That is a good stance to have, but it does make for some interesting situations.
I think if you are so caught up in getting a guy to commit, you are going to be setting yourself up for a disappointment. Why can’t it just come naturally, even if it takes longer than you would like?
@ Helen: If you find yourself stuck in a relationship that isn’t going anywhere chances are it is way beneath what you deserve-Remember you deserve the best. Keep your head up, stay positive , keep Loving YOU, and perhaps one day you will find your “Mr. Big”.
Thanks for reading the article,
Best,
JJM
@ Brittany: It was a great show, wasn’t it? Remember, the more we wait for something outside of us to come along and make us happy, we are usually focused on what is missing. The end result of that is usually discontent. The more you are thriving in your own life and comfortable in your skin, the less it will matter if someone else comes along and the less it will feel like something is missing. And if he does come along, you have a better chance at attracting a good healthy relationship because you will be Loving YOU and it will radiate.
Thanks for reading the article.
Best,
JJM
I wouldn’t say that I am exactly like this, but when I get stuck in a relationship that does not seem to be going anywhere, I wonder if there is a “Mr. Big” out there for me.
There is a Mr. Big for everyone. It is just a matter of timing and when you are going to meet.
I used to love that show. There was so much about it that allowed me to relate to. I feel like I am waiting for Mr. Big to come along.