Women are always asking me, “How can I figure out whether this guy is going to commit to me? What are some signs that he’ll never commit?”
It’s an understandable question – women who want commitment don’t want to waste their time dating a guy who’s never going to end up committing to her.
The issue for a lot of women is: how can you tell whether he’s ever going to commit to you?
So let’s get that answered right now. Here are the top 9 signs that a guy isn’t going to commit to you:
The Biggest Signs He’ll Never Commit
He never shares secrets or anything deep about himself with you
He won’t introduce you to his family
He tells you he doesn’t want a relationship
He doesn’t put any effort into dating you, you’re not sure how to answer the question, “is he interested in me?”
He only calls you late at night
He never gets jealous
He doesn’t make time for you in his life
He doesn’t include you in big decisions that he makes
He’s not over his ex
Now obviously – taken individually none of these signs mean he’s never going to commit to you. But if you take 3 or 4 of these signs together, it’s a pretty safe bet that he’s not going to commit.
Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Is He Going To Commit?
Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Going To Commit” Quiz right now and find out if he’s going to commit to you…
Looking For Signs
If you’re looking for signs that he’s not going to commit to you – chances are you have a bad feeling about him ever committing. You’re probably feeling anxious about it, and nervous about the future, and want to know where things are headed. You might even be wondering if he’s losing interest, pullling away, or even “is he cheating on me?”
Typically, women who are looking for signs that he’s not going to commit, or signs he’s truly in love are with someone who’s wishy washy about the future, and they can’t figure out where he stands.
Well, if you’re confused about where he stands, there’s one golden rule to apply: if he says he doesn’t want a relationship – believe him.
There are a million different ways to say he doesn’t want a relationship, and the nicer he tries to be about it the more “confusing” his answer will sound to you.
Here’s what it boils down to – it doesn’t matter what “excuse” he gives you about not wanting a relationship – the important part of the sentence is “I don’t want a relationship.”
So if he says he’s not over his ex, or he’s not in a good place, or he’s too busy with work – the excuses don’t matter. Only the fact that he doesn’t want a relationship matters.
So don’t get caught up in trying to figure out his “excuse”, because chances are he came up with it to let you down gently. The bottom line is that he doesn’t want a relationship – and trying to change his mind or wait for his “excuse” to not matter anymore is a losing strategy.
What Makes A Guy Commit?
When a guy commits to a relationship – it comes down to two key ingredients.
First, the vibe of the relationship has to be good, and it has to feel really good for him to be in the relationship.
This is pretty simple. If it feels really good for him to be in the relationship, he’s going to want more of that really good feeling – so he’ll move closer to you and be more attached to the relationship.
But that alone isn’t enough to make him commit.
The second key ingredient is that you have to be single and 100% on the market until he clearly, unambiguously locks you down and commits to you.
This is a non-negotiable part. You are exactly as committed to him as he is to you. If he’s not committed to you and exclusive to you, then you’re not committed or exclusive to him.
That means keeping your options open – and staying single and on the market until he clearly and unambiguously locks you down in the relationship you want.
When you make that clear, one of two things will happen:
Either he won’t be on board and he won’t commit to you…
Or he will step up and give you the relationship you want so that he doesn’t lose you to a guy who will.
Either way, you win. If he gives you the commitment you’ve been looking for, then you get what you wanted. And if he doesn’t commit to you, that means he was never going to commit to you in the first place.
That way, you don’t waste your time with the wrong guy who will never be the right guy for you – and you get the opportunity to find the man who will give you the relationship you want.
That’s How You Get Honest, Loving, Excited Commitment
And before we finish I want to talk about an attitude I’ve seen from women that all but guarantees they will find only heartbreak in their love lives.
I’m talking about the attitude that a man ‘owes’ a woman commitment, or that if you’ve been together for [x] amount of time then the man should commit to you.
To speak plainly, that’s not how it works.
Do you really want a guy to commit to you out of a sense of obligation, rather than a sense of desire and love?
Obviously not – you want him to naturally want to commit to you. And the way to do that is by making the relationship as good as possible and staying on the market until he exclusively locks you down.
Something I hear all the time is women who are angry at guys for ‘taking advantage’ of them and then not committing.
It doesn’t make him a bad guy if he doesn’t want to commit – and he’s not taking advantage of you by spending time with you when you’re willingly spending time with him.
If you’re expressly spending time with him in order to make him ‘owe’ you commitment later – that’s a poisonous mindset that will destroy your chances at love (not to mention drive off every guy you meet – who you’ll later be furious with for ‘taking advantage’ of you).
You are in control of how you spend your time – just like you’re in control of who you spend your time with. If you make it clear that you’re looking for a relationship, and he makes it clear that he’s not – you are fully in control of the decision to spend time with him.
Commitment is amazing when it’s between two people who both want to be there – who make each other’s lives better and share their happiness together.
If you both commit out of a genuine desire to commit – not guilt, not resentment, and not obligation – that’s how you get true, devoted, lasting commitment that doesn’t fade.
One of the most interesting things I’ve discovered is that when a man see’s you as his soulmate then he eagerly wants to commit forever. When he doesn’t, his biology causes him to lose interest, become distant and pull away. Which is why it’s extremely important that if you feel this man is the one for you that you read this next article if you want to stop him from losing interest and pulling away while you still can right now: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
Want to find out if he’s going to commit? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Going To Commit” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really going to commit to you…
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I love this post, they are many magazines and books that help to fix cars and fashion but very little information on how to fix a broken relationship.
I love this post, they are many magazine and books that help to fix cars and fashion but very little information on how to fix a broken relationship.
TheY are guyz dat really want to commit to you but they are some dat only want to keep you accompany after there will go and marry their wife.The aspect with some female.
It is OK if he does not want to commit. You just have to decide if you want to spend your time with a guy like that.
Does a guy HAVE to get jealous to show that he is really into the relationship? I have this discussion with my friends all the time. They noticed that my b/f does not seem to get jealous much and that bothered them because they felt he was not into me. I don’t understand?
This sucks. I have a b/f right now that does not seem to want to commit. I do not want to let him go because things are good otherwise. Maybe that is just the best thing.
I am hoping that I never have to see these signs. I really want to get married soon.
I always thought that because my man did not want me to meet his family that he did not want to get more serious with me. It turns out that his family did not talk to him that much and he has chosen to forget about them. It is sad, but I understand at the same time.
I will take this as a guarantee :)
If you can find a good guy and he commits to you within a few years, you are one lucky lady! Good luck to all that are trying.
I think that when the guy feels the same security that you do in the relationship, that is when he will be ready to commit.
What I need from this post is a real confirmation that I am doing the right thing since I see some of the signs that are listed here :/
Committing, for some, is not that easy. They might have a ton of reasons and they do not really matter unless they plan to get the issues fixed.
I have met men where that part of their relationship brain is just not something they want to deal with.
This is a real good post. We all know there are men out there that are scared, but if you see signs like this, you should run for the hills.
I do not think these are all that great of reasons. If I am not going to commit to a person that I have been with for a while, there might be other reasons. Some that I might not want to share and that alone is a reason to move along without a guy like me.
I can tell you from experience that if he is not over his ex, you have a long, tough road ahead of you.
It takes practice, but these types of signs are ones that should stick out like a sore thumb.
I have experienced differences in commitment from guys. Some want it right away, while others seem to drag their feet the entire time.
I hate guys that do that. why is it so hard to either commit or be honest and break up with a girl you are not ready to spend your life with?
I have been down this road before. Good luck with your situation, I know my was a pain in the ass.
This can be a tough message to take, but at least you are getting the message about not committing sooner than later.
That is always the tipping point. How long do you want to go before it becomes something that you should do not rather than wait?
These are good signs. Coming from the perspective of a man, it will be quite easy to tell if the guy is not interested in you. trust me.
I agree. It seems the signs are quite easy to see.
As sad as it is, these signs are easy to see and when woman do not “see” them they are just hoping they can change things for the better, which just makes it worse.
Speaking from experience, I am going to have to agree with that list in this post.
This is a very good post and I appreciate the advice.
Yes, this is good advice. A person can learn a lot about relationships from this blog.