It’s almost impossible to put the feeling into words. The pain is overwhelming – the person you thought was your closest ally and best friend has turned out to be your darkest enemy.
It’s not just loss, and it’s not just betrayal, because you weren’t betrayed by just them – you were also betrayed by life.
It wasn’t easy to end the relationship and walk away. Life made it easy for you to get used to being with someone – how happy they make you and how fully your life seems – and then all of a sudden the rug gets pulled out from you.
You’re floating in the air, about to hit the ground without even realizing it. You stick with the person, hoping and wishing that things would go back to the way they used to be, to when you were happy.
Take The Quiz: Should You Break up With Him?
How To Pick Up The Pieces After A Toxic Relationship
Your friends try to tell you something is wrong, but you ignore what they’re saying. Why? Because this isn’t the person you fell in love with.While you try to cling to your disintegrating relationship, your partner turns into a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Sometimes it feels like they have a split personality, and they waver between both sides of it. And deep down in your core, you know that one day the scales will tip, and it won’t be worth it anymore.
After you let go and cut them out of your life, they find ways to come crawling back in. You get 3 AM visits to your front door and 130 missed calls and texts while you’re trying to be with your friends. And that person will tell you everything you wished they said when you were still together.
You’ll want to help them, to comfort them, to bring them out of their pain. But you know you can’t, because as hurt as they are right now – they hurt you worse.
People who go through the experience of fully, deeply, unconditionally loving someone – and having that person turn into a monster who cares about nothing besides possession – those people reach a maturity that most don’t reach until much later.
Those people don’t come out of a breakup desperate to get into another relationship. After escaping from the hell of a toxic relationship, you won’t settle for anything less than you deserve just to be with someone. You might even let go of your rules and inhibitions and go wild for a while after the relationship – why feel sorry for yourself and miss someone when you can enjoy being free?
When you do find someone new – you’ll be able to see things going wrong way before they actually do so you can protect yourself. You’ll have experience, practice – and you’ll know exactly how bad things can go when they go wrong and you’ll put an end to it before it gets even close to there again.
But more importantly – you’ll keep a tight leash on your relationships in one very important way – you’ll never let another person have control over you again. You’ll be hyper-aware of someone trying to control you and manipulate you, and if you sense it – you’ll get out of there fast. No one will ever do that to you again.
You know that you were truly in love with your ex, and you know that your ex was in love with you too, even if they got it twisted and messed up and blackened. Where your expectations and love for each other didn’t line up – cracks appeared and split your relationship into two parts.
One part was amazing and happy and perfect, the other side was miserable and dark and hopeless, and every moment with them was on one side or the other. You’ll remember the parts that were good and smile, and you’ll remember the parts that were bad and remind yourself you’ll never go through that again.
You’re not done with love, far from it. You just know that the next time you love, you’ll love unconditionally – but with your eyes open.
If you loved this article, then check out these other must-see related posts:
Want to find out for sure if you should break up with him? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Should You Break up With Him” Quiz right now and find out if you should really break up with him…