The pain in your chest is eating you alive. You can’t survive anymore without him. He abandoned you. He threw you away, after everything you had together. After all that time you spent being cuddly, hopeless romantics with stars in your eyes… he just walked away as if it was nothing.
He was cold. It was as if breaking up didn’t put a gash in his heart the way it put a gash in yours.
You wonder to yourself: how could he throw me away so ruthlessly? How could he just break up with me and walk away?
Or maybe he didn’t abandon you ruthlessly. Maybe the breakup was tough for him too, and you know it. But still, he was fine with walking away. He was fine with breaking up and ultimately making the decision to leave. How could this be?
These are feelings so many women experience after a breakup. Well, today I want to talk to you about my friend Becky. She taught me a valuable lesson about getting dumped (and why it can be a good thing).
When Becky called me I could just tell she was in rough shape. I could hear the distress in her shaky voice as she asked me, “Can you come over? I really need your help right now.”
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I was scared, honestly. I thought she was really hurt, and from the raw emotion in her voice I could tell she was really roughed up. Something terrible happened and I had to be there for her.
I grabbed my car keys, my cellphone just in case she called me again, and I left. Soon I was at her front door.
I rang the doorbell a few times, and after several minutes I got no answer. I even thought about breaking down her door because I thought she might have been hurt and unable to answer the door! I clenched my fist and as I knocked again, the door opened.
There was Becky. Her eyes were bloodshot and filled with tears, her entire body was wracked with powerful sobs, and she fell into my arms.
“Josh left me. What will I do?”
I didn’t have an answer for her. I held her and let her cry in my arms for a few minutes before leading her inside the house and closing the door. I brought her to her couch, got her a cup of iced water and sat down with her.
We talked all night, I let her tell me everything she wanted to about Josh, and at the end of the night she thanked me, told me she felt better, and she said she was tired and wanted to sleep. I reminded her that she can call me anytime, and that I would check on her the next day.
That night I was unable to sleep. I had a pit of worry in my stomach that wouldn’t go away. I honestly think I only got 30 minutes of sleep that night… if that.
The very first thing next morning, I called her. After several rings, I got her voice mail so I tried again… and again… and again. I left a voice mail asking how she was holding up and if she needed anything, in hopes that she would reach out if she needed me.
After a few days passed with no call back, the knot of worry in my stomach grew tighter and tighter. Until finally I got a knock on my door. There was Becky with a wide grin on her face.
“Becky, what happened? Are you alright?”
She smiled and danced in place, “You won’t believe this but… Josh leaving me was the best thing to ever happen to me.”
Getting dumped is one of the most painful experiences you can have. You invest months and years into a relationship with someone and suddenly that relationship is gone; replaced by a hole where your significant other used to be.
It feels like your life couldn’t get any worse, and you just want to feel sorry for yourself forever. But it doesn’t have to be that way…
5 Reasons Getting Dumped Can Be The Best Thing To Happen To You
1. You Can Focus On Yourself
Being single is the best time to invest in yourself. You may have learned how to make your partner happy – but it’s time to make yourself happy. Being alone gives you time to do some soul-searching and figure out what you really want in life.
2. You Can Reinvest In Your Hobbies
Jogging, shopping, binging on TV Marathons, reading, whatever makes you happy. You suddenly have a lot more time to decide what you want to do. Have you ever wanted to travel across the world? Take a trip to Paris maybe? You can do that.
3. Reconnecting With Friends
One of the best feelings in the world is to spend time with a person you love – but think of all the things you used to do with your friends. Now is a great chance to reconnect with the people in your life and really get reacquainted with them.
4. You Can Find Your Happy Place
Personally, my happy place is curled up on my couch with a good book and the rest of the world shut up. Becky’s happy place was walking around the lake in our town. When you have the time to invest in your “happy place” it can really change your vibe (for the better).
5. You Get To Fall Back In Love
Becky told me the best part about her break up was being allowed to experience falling in love again. Remember that feeling of happiness and pure bliss you got when you first met your ex? You get to experience that falling head over heels all over again. The possibilities are endless.
Have you gone through a rough breakup recently? What do you plan to do now that you’re single? Let me know in the comments below!
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5 Reasons To Celebrate Getting Dumped
- You Can Focus On Yourself
- You Can Reinvest In Your Hobbies
- Reconnecting With Friends
- You Can Find Your Happy Place
- You Get To Fall Back In Love
Mine just broke up with me today via text. Crushed me for a minute. But now, I realize that it’s about me. Not him. While we’re going to have to slowly let it fade away because our kids are involved. But I deserve more respect and I deserve better than that. I’m done dating for a long time. I’m my top priority now. I’m done putting people first. I have too much. Done with that nonsense. He will text me in a month or two, but by then, it will be too late.
I bhave been pretty torn up over my boyfriend (at the time) leaving me after I had a stroke and nearly died. He chose NYC over me(where I lived when it happened) However, I’ve come to realize how very wrong He was for me. I also think it was a blessing He left, since He was very much the opposite of a catch! (true story)
@Jenny pain can be something good because its the state of the body and mind where you as an individual realise that emotions have been taking control over you and you get to realise that you have to get back on your feets and walk tall again and going through a lane you’ve passed before is one reason you’ll know the path you took…
Eleni Zoeon Yes! I regress all the time and then I feel ralely bad about it. Like: Eleni, have you not learned anything at all? Stop blaming your mother! She *does* understand you. And you don’t hate her.
At first it was really hard for me to accept yhe fact that there’s no more “US” anymore..but sooner, days,weeks, months and a year had passed I became a better perso .. I realized a lot of things that being with my ex makes me unhappy because he taken me for grante for he knew that I loved him more than he loved me I guess.. Now being single is yhe best feeling I ever had since he dumped me.. I had the time of my life..no worries about being cheated.. I’d never thought I would be the same person I used to be.. So for now I will enjoy single life to the fullest because someday I know someone will come my way because for now, “GOD IS JUSTBUSY WRITING THE BEST LOVE STORYFOR ME”… GODBLESS EVERYONE.. ;)
At first it was really hard for me to accept yhe fact that there’s no “US” anymore..but sooner, days,weeks, months and a year had passed I became a better perso .. I realized a lot of things that being with my ex makes me unhappy because he taken me for grante for he knew that I loved him more than he loved me I guess.. Now being single is yhe best feeling I ever had since he dumped me.. I had the time of my life..no worries about being cheated.. I’d never thought I would be the same person I used to be.. So for now I will enjoy single life to the fullest because someday I know someone will come my way because for now, “GOD IS JUSTBUSY WRITING THE BEST LOVE STORYFOR ME”… GODBLESS EVERYONE.. ;)
It can be hard to get over being dumped and for the most part, we have all been there. But, like you mentioned, there are some reasons to celebrate once in a while.
LOL, celebrate being dumped. I guess if it was something that didn’t bother me that much I would celebrate. What if I was dumped because he didn’t like that I eat my peas one at a time??
I have been noticing that men are hanging out with me for a short time and it seems that by the weekend we are breaking it off. I like your reasons for celebrating the fact that I just got dumped, but I am trying to figure out the pattern here.
Breaking up is hard to do, but in the end, if you are not going to get back together for good, a new beginning is not a bad thing. It is just hard to get through the weeks of crying or sad moods first.
I agree. I am not sure that I have found a “real” way to celebrate getting dumped, but I can understand there might be people do so to “get over” the other person.
If you are not in your happy place with that relationship, then breaking up to find that place is the best thing that you can do for yourself!
I think if you are ready to celebrate a breakup, there was something else going on to begin with! You have a very good list here of things to do at that time, however!
I’m planning on breaking up with my girlfriend… maybe i should send her this article lol…
That’s way the beestst answer so far!
#4 and #5 are the ones that I enjoy if I am being dumped. Especially if it has been a long time and I put a lot of time into the relationship. Time for a reset!
sometimes the breakup is a blessing in disguise, i will agree with that for sure. It’s just too bad when it is not and you are left wondering why it did not work out for the better!
Very good reasons here, LOL. But really, you are going to be said for a little bit of time and when you get over it, you are going to think “how did I take this so hard”, right?
I feel the same way. As soon as things clear up, I am trying to figure out what the big deal was.
Easier said than done. I do agree with a lot of these but i feel it takes a looooong time before you can even begin to think that getting dumped was anything even remotely close to a good thing… but have hope ladies! I was dumped by my ex of 3 years and it took me almost a year, but now i’m with an incredible man and it’s something I celebrate every single day :) <3
This helped me a lot… but I’m still so broken up. Whenever I think about him, all I can do is feel like my world is ending and I’m never going to be OK again. How can I forget about him? How do I forget that I dated him so that I can be OK again?
This article makes me miss my ex boyfriend. I’m just so sad. I don’t want to keep pretending i’m okay when i am secretly falling apart. I don’t see how being dumped is a good thing. It doesn’t really make sense if you think about it. I don’t know how to explain what i feel but it’s a nice idea I guess to believe things are meant to be this way but why? Why would pain be something good?