Question: “I’ve been going out on dates again lately, and I realized… I have a problem. I know this might sound weird, but I really can’t tell if a guy is actually flirting with me, or just trying to “be nice” to me to avoid being awkward.
How can I tell if a guy is flirting with me or just playing games?”
-Karen
Well, Karen, this is a question I surprisingly get a lot.
Flirting gives you warm, tingly butterflies and can send a jolt of electricity through your veins. When a guy you really feel attracted to is flirting with you, you can’t help feel like you’re high.
Take The Quiz: Is He Flirting With You?
Except, what if you don’t know whether he is or isn’t flirting with you?
I know how confusing it can be when you think a guy is flirting with you, but you can’t tell… is he just being nice, or is he attracted to me?
It can be even worse on the phone – how can you tell whether he’s flirting through texting?
Or maybe you’re in a situation where there are subtle things he does you’re trying not to read too much into, but in your gut you just get the feeling that he’s flirting. But then you doubt yourself and wonder if you’re just imagining things.
And let’s be real, reading body language is kind of difficult.
It’s hard to tell if a guy is really smiling at you because he finds you cute and funny… or because you have something stuck in your teeth.
And the constant knot of worry in your chest only grows as the date goes on and time passes! You begin reading into every single thing he does in case you miss out on some “glaringly obvious” signal he’s into you, and you try to do it without being obvious about it yourself.
It doesn’t have to be that way though. All you need to do is look for these signs.
8 Signs He’s Flirting
(Or Just Playing Nice)
1. The Smile
Everyone has a different smile. Some people smile with their mouth closed and some smile with their teeth. (And some guys are just plain shy!) However, if you notice him smiling at you with a gleam in his eyes, there’s a really large chance he is interested in you.
2. He Treats You Specially
When he talks to you, he leans forward and pays attention to you when he might not do that with other women. If he focuses on you more than other on women, it means he likes you.
The key thing to note here though is some guys are just naturally flirty and charming around women. Just because a guy talks and listens to a woman doesn’t specifically mean he likes her intimately, there’s a chance he’s not interested at all!
Again, pay attention to how he treats other women. If he treats you the same way, he probably isn’t flirting, but if he gives you more, or special attention, he most likely is.
3. He Touches You
A lot of guys subconsciously try to touch and connect with the women they like. He may simply let his hand touch yours for longer than necessary when handing you something, or he may lean in and touch your arm when talking.
Light, flirty touching can be a huge turn on for him… and for you!
Plus, him touching you is a great way to make him deeply attracted to you. If he seems to be looking for a reason to touch you, he is likely flirting with you. This leads to my next sign…
4. He Leans In
Body language can be difficult, but this is super easy to remember. If you notice a guy lean in and turn his shoulder to you while you are speaking to him, he is subconsciously focusing on you (and likely flirting)!
5. He Remembers What You Say
Whether it’s a joke or a story, if he’s taking special interest in you he will remember what you say. I’ve noticed that (whether I want to or not) I will always remember what a woman I’m flirting with says. I can’t help it, it’s like I’m laser focused on everything about her when she’s around me.
6. He Asks You If You’re Single (Or Hints At It)
If a guy ever expresses interest in whether or not you are single, he wants to know if you’re available. It’s an almost universal and “not so subtle” way to flirt.
And if he says something like, “how come a girl like you is single…” that’s him flirting.
7. The Blush
As I said earlier, some guys are just plain shy! If you notice that a shy man is blushing around you, it’s one of the most apparent signs he is trying to flirt with you. Any guy can blush when flirting though, so this does not just apply to shy guys.
8. The Nervous Twitch
If you see him fidgeting around, playing with his hair, randomly shifting in his seat, or even grabbing his ear then he’s nervous… and for a good reason too. This is because he is trying to flirt (and probably doesn’t know how or feels insecure because he wants to impress you).
These are some of the most common signs of flirting.
I want you to watch this quick video that explains what you need to know about flirting. It will tell you exactly how to know when a man is flirting and exactly what to do in every situation (even if you’re shy or unsure of yourself).
Watch The Video: How To Know For Sure He’s Flirting With You
Now, with that said… flirting does NOT mean he wants to be in a relationship. Some guys flirt because they want to hook up. The major difference between a flirt, and a “nice guy” is that a nice guy will commonly avoid eye contact, physical touch, and committing to anything past “I’ll call you”.
If he doesn’t seem emotionally invested (and that is what you want) then know that he probably isn’t, and you shouldn’t worry about that guy (unless you are okay with a casual non committed fling). But if you want something more, focus on the guy who is focused on you, and you will find yourself having a much happier dating life.
Until next time,
Nick Bastion
Want to find out for sure if he’s flirting with you? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Flirting With You” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really flirting with you…
Take The Quiz: Is He Flirting With You?
Do you know any other signs that a man is flirting that you think I should include? Have any questions about your own experiences and want to know if it’s flirting?
Let me know in the comments below!
In summary…
The Biggest Signs He’s Flirting With You
- The smile
- He treats you specially
- He touches you
- He leans in
- He remembers what you say
- He asks you if you’re single (or hints at it)
- The blush
- The nervous twitch
Hi everybody. I feel so alone. I got divorced recently and Im very upset now. Im looking for a reall love. I need help
i think this guy is flirting with me..but he’s naturally very friendly and flirtatious with everyone and has lots of gal friends. he leans in, makes eye contact, smiles a lot, and asks me questions about my life, remembering what i say, we’ve only been friends for a few days but already we feel very close…he touches my things, sometimes “accidentally” (not sure if it’s an accident or just because we work in close proximity) touches me, and notices what i wear..i caught feelings. he also once said something about how hot he was, which is a bit out of character if i read it correctly, and i wondered if he was really flirting or if it was just wishful thinking. is he?
so this place takes place at work & sometimes when i’m inputting an order on the computer, he’ll need the computer for whatever he needs
and he’ll just stare at me continuasly and i’ll
look up at him and ask him “what happened, or what?!” and he’ll just look at me with this face☺️ and say nothing. like saying from his mind “i’m a cute one” or sometimes he’ll just stare at me non stop and i’ll look up and say “what?” and he’ll just causally nod his head like nothing and doesn’t tell me anything!
also, one time . he and i were on break together and i was on instagram scrolling and was liking a picture from this account that make vanity mirrors and deliver and i liked it and he saw and told me how “his sister told him if and when he gets a girlfriend next that he should build one for her. bc she told him that girls really love that” and i told him “yeah it’s mostly for the lighting and how good it works for girls, at least for me i like the lighting a lot, you should buy me one. “ and he goes on saying “buy you one?!? i’m supposed to build one for you!” and that was the end of that convo, i blushed and i didn’t know what else to say after that, bc i thought it was so cute. help!!
He flirts he all do that everyday like stares at me touches my legs he treats me like a you know like come in here why are you there its hot there come on he ask a lot about am i single he once say Ilove you i justed slapped him but we have similarities we both like the same song same talent same movie and he Flirts a lot
flirt could also enact as a punishment or a test when in a relationship or assess the feeling of the opposite side
For me l flirt to be certain in relationship
Well…this is complicated. There’s this guy, my best friend actually, who I think is flirting with me. He calls me odd things….like church girl from that vine haha. He’s super nice and laughs at legit almost everything I say…he leans in sometimes and my friends ALWAYS say that we’re cute together as a couple and they torment us. I don’t know…life’s complicated since I wanna just be friends with him….
I don’t understand flirt pliz help me
Ok so there is this guy I liked for 2 1/2 years. We are really good friends. Right after he found out I have feelings for him he got a girlfriend. It kinda made me mad but he broke up with her and I have not seen him ever since. We text and he gives me signs but I have been waiting for 2 1/2 years should I move on??
Hell yeah even do it’s hard but move I.
Heh and please don’t ridicule me even though I’m seeking advice through this website. Thx
Heh… I looked up this to see if there’s any hints I could give the girl I like and I’m a “nice guy and a shy guy as well so I don’t know how to give her any accurate “hints”… anyone got an idea? Plz help….
Because he wants to make you happy , that’s what one guy told me .
Okay what if you love your bestguyfriend.. but then he doesn’t seem same like me.. well he always told me about the other girls he like.. it a pain really but i can do nothing.. i wanna confess but i might blush..
Guy work with finally start talking with me , sit close to me, and mention that I must have 2 to 3 boyfriend. then same day he mention again if I was going out with my boyfriend the wkn. b4 this occurs we didn’t talk as much and he wasn’t feeling comfortable around me yet guess. b4 he blushes, smile, and nervous but now it’s kinda of same but think he’s a little more comfortable. ? is does he like me enough to hang out or just be friendly as a co worker
Hey I have friend at work and he flirting with me a lot and tells me hey baby and he is so nice to me and doesn’t act like I am his friend talk to me dirty sex and lot information if I am married I do like him and we both are in a relationship this happeneds only at work when we see each other so what should I do .
I asked this guy’s friend that I have a huge crush on his friend and he told me he likes someone else. He likes to flirt with me and always looking at me. Did I read it wrong? His friend said he will not let his friend know that I have a crush on his friend. Now I feel real awkward. Then one Friday my aunt passed away and I was really not noticing him and he must think I’m mad at him cuz he doesn’t like me but that is not the reason. How should I act when I see him again? Should I explain myself why I was ignoring him?
I learned the hard way there is nobody in the world out of your league. He either thought you were using your friend to suggest you like him, or he likes you more than he likes your friend. Either way chicka, he’s flirting with you. I put somebody on a pedestal and thought he was too good for me, and then forever after that I was confused. The entire situation ended very badly. Have confidence in yourself. I don’t have to know you to know that you’re probably a really amazing person. Whoever he is, definitely is no better or worse than you.
hey all there is a guy who is much younger then and all so is my supervisor at work his been flirting with me on and off for a while like his been touchy towards me a few times and looking at me before he goes into the toilet and I have seen him checking me out as well and all so gets right into my face
there are no true flawless signs that someone is flirting unless they are being really direct stop overanalyzing thngs. if i said “i dont like cats” wouldnt mean “i like carrion birds”
I asked this boy if he liked me he said no with a huge smile on his face it was not a grin it was a teeth smile what does this mean
my name is Lorraine and there’s this guy at church he asks questions of who I am and smiles while talking but he’s taken is it a good sign
Girl
Forget that man
Men never ever leave their wives
There is a say that says
“Some women are not succeeding because of the prayers of the wives of the men they are dating”
Move on
Ayeeeee
Girl
Men will never ever leave their wives
There is say that says “some women are not
Succeeding because of the prayers of the wives of the men they are dating”
Find another man
Hi so I’m wondering a guy at work says my name like 3 times in a row and smiles at me is that really flirting??
So if he tells you every detail of his life, but doesn’t ask many questions of you, he’s not flirting? I’m new to an office and a coworker makes a point to drop by my office and chat with me everyday. He has told me a couple of times that he’s a single dad, lives near me, was impressed by the music I like. At first, I was annoyed because I’m really busy, then curious as to why he kept telling me his life resume. He does stare into my eyes, smile a lot, touch my arm when telling a cheesy joke, puts his hands in his pockets and act a bit nervous. It could just be friendly getting to know me chatter, but I haven’t been around long enough to know if he’s just nosy around new people. So if no personal questions to me, he’s not flirting?
There is this one guy that smiles at me a lot whenever I see him and will often times start the conversation. He can remember something I said from about 4 months ago!
I have been a lone so long, if I guy was doing any of these to me, I would jump on him in two seconds!
There are so many ways that a person can flirt, but only a few that are obvious enough to know what is happening.
Most of the men around me at work will not flirt because they are afraid of getting fired for harassment LOL.
HAHA!
I hate it when guys are flirting with me. As soon as I give them ANY attention, we are going on a date. That is not what I want. What if I want to flirt back a little bit?
You just have to learn to say no. Nobody is forcing you to go out with this guy.
Oh I like this! I have a manly man in my office that might be trying these very things. I was hoping he was flirting and not just being nice. I am going to have to pursue this to find out! Wish me luck!
I have been wondering how to tell if a guy is flirting on purpose or if it just my imagination. You know, cause he is the hottest guy that I have ever seen!
Oh yeah, these are pretty for sure signs that the guy wants to be all over you in no time!
I just wish that things were not so corporate where I work. There is always that fine like that nobody wants to walk up to. It just causes more confusion in my opinion.
I have never been a good judge of whether a person was flirty with me or not. I guess I could take the advice here and see what happens, right?
Guys that are flirting with me always come across so extreme. I am not sure if it just seems that way or if they feel they can spread it on thicker with me.
As long as the guy is not crossing any lines, I say go with it and enjoy the attention.
I know that a guy is flirting with me at work and it was fine until last week when he started to lay it on pretty thick. Now I try to avoid him and wonder if I should be considering the fact that he is harassing me? :/
It looks like I have a guy that might be flirting with me at work. I do not want to cross any lines there, but I really think he is. Should I just invite him out and see what happens?
I have been like this with some girls over the years and it really never goes anywhere. I am not sure if they are not getting that I am flirting or if it is something else.
For me, a big part of knowing that a guy is interested is the fact that he has been listening to me and knows what I am interested in, beside him :)
This post has given me some very renewed confidence! I have been wondering if a guy that I work with has been flirting or is just nice. After reading this, I think he is flirting :)
Great news! Good luck with your adventure!
I like being asked if I am single. The problem comes in when I start to think about why he is asking AND if he is actually single as well.
LOL, yea, I guess it would be bad if you were single and he is basically asking you out, but is not single.
I am wondering this myself with a guy that I work with. He is very polite, very talkative to me and once in a while I catch him just watching me. Do I pursue this because he might be flirting with me?
I don’t see why you wouldn’t. Unless you see something that is not good in your eyes, why not see what he is all about?
Things can be so confusing when you are dealing with men and things like this. I can never tell and then I have my friends always telling me that a guy was flirting with me and I am like, “what, where?”
ok look some one please help me out ok so im dating some one but out of no wear i has this attraction to some one thats not my bf and me and the person talk but he acts different like hes self and he dose kinda do talk a lot about his cox but get this one the 4 day of knowing him we go to the theaters and during that i lean more toward the right cuzz idk im more conterbel like that but than he leans in and at first it was like if we were touching we were very close than came his arm than before i know it it was like his whole arm was aginst myn and he sorta flexes and during the movie we were talking and are faces were like almost touching but not exacly , but the thing his that he likes this other girl he said his in love with her but idk do u think i should back off?
Hi; I am experiencing the same problem and am interested what has happened since you posted this message. How did you handle the situation? I really like this guy but don’t understand why he he seems to be playing games with my emotions.
If the guy is already playing with your emotions, there is no reason to assume it will change when you date him.
What if through social media? Like, instagram.
All these are sooo obvious:-/
I think so, too. However, you would not believe how many girls that I know would not see these signs if they hit them in the side of the head.
I would say that ALL of these are pretty good signs that he is trying to flirt with you LOL. I have been in this tough situation and at the office, it can be very tricky.
I typically allow the man to make the first move, so that way I can gauge what is happening. If I jump the gun, I feel terrible when it is not what I think it is. Good tips!
I used to be that way, but after waiting weeks for a guy at work to do so, I could not wait anymore. I am glad that I did because I was right before another chick swooped in there.
I am going to have to agree with MOST of the signs. I think all woman should be able to tell, but just in case, they should also be ready to hear that he might not be interested and his “signs” were taken the wrong way.
I am hoping that if a person were to ask you if you were single, that might mean something LOL.
That is the best response you could expect :)
All of these are great signs and I have even had a few of them happen to me. The problem that freaks me out is when the guy is NOT flirting with you but seems to be based on these signs.
i would have to say that when you are treated in some special way, that is a pretty good indicator that he is doing a good job of flirting with you!
I think that we have all seen the “smile”. Guy or woman, you know when you have a shot and that smile is the tell for anyone that is passing along that “sign”.
These are some very good warning signs to keep you eyes open for! Great list that is worth sharing with every woman in your life!
I would share this with your single friends. They might actually get the hint then:)
There are so many signs that woman have to read and get right, I feel bad for them sometimes, lol. If they read the wrong sign or take a look the wrong way, they could really look like an ass.
Don’t you think, as a man, that is would just be easier to ask if the guy is flirting with the woman? I mean, it would take all of the games and sign reading out of the situation. In the end, both win and neither look like idiots.
What an eye opener. For a new person in the dating game, you really provide some good tips! Thanks!
Men flirt with me all the time even though I don’t flirt with them. I have to swat them off like flies. But the ONE GUY who I actually like refuses to give me the same kind of attention. Can you help me figure out why and how to fix it?
A LOT of guys have smiled at me and almost NONE of them were flirting. It’s a little bit too much to say that if a guy smiles at you he’s flirting. What does that even mean a “gleam” in his eyes? Guys smile all the time it doesn’t mean that they’re flirting.
Some guys just like to flirt! I have met so many guys who flirt for the hell of it and don’t care whether they’re leading a girl on or not. It’s so frustrating when a guy loves to flirt with you but when the time comes when something could happen he’s “not interested”. If you weren’t interested then why were you flirting so much?!?
This is very much the truth. Some men feel they are getting some attention from the opposite sex without having to really worry about any attachment. The problem comes in when they are actually leading the other person on and not knowing it.
but what if a guy gives some or all these signs that hes flirting, but he has a wife? he says he loves his wife but he still acts flirty towards me all the time, and tells me he likes hanging out with me and spending time with me. we havent done anything together or hooked up and hes never made a move on me but why is he flirting so much if hes not interested?