16 Ways To Stop Missing Your Ex-Boyfriend And Feel OK Again

16 Ways To Stop Missing Your Ex-Boyfriend And Feel OK Again

When you’ve just broken up with someone, it feels like things will never be normal again. After you’ve gone through all the stages of grief and you’re tired of the anger, there’s just one feeling left that overwhelms you: the feeling of longing and the fact that you miss him.

You can’t help it, and it’s normal – after all, you’ve put time, effort, and love into this relationship and suddenly, this important person is not there anymore and you’re going to feel his absence quite severely.

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Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can get your ex back or if he’s gone for good…

MORE: Exactly How To Make Your Ex Miss You After A Breakup

Here are 16 approaches to this issue that will help you get over this, or at least, make this period in your life more bearable. Before you know it, things will have changed, and you’ll even be ready to love again. But until then, let’s see what we can do about you missing that pesky ex.

1. Stop blaming yourself

A break-up can really damage your self-esteem, because you’re going to have the tendency to doubt yourself and assign blame in all the wrong places.

What I want you to remember is that typically, the end of a relationship is not the fault of just one party; both partners make mistakes and contribute to the break-up in some way.

That being said, if he cheated, it doesn’t mean that YOU were not enough, that the other woman was prettier, smarter, hotter and that you are in any way “less than.” That attitude creates a very unhealthy thought-process and head-space for you to be in.

2. Think about why you’re missing him

“I miss him” is a feeling, not a reason. What do you miss? It may come as a surprise, but you may not miss him, but things he did for you, the way he made you feel, or the attention you received from him.

It’s important to be able to analyze your feelings objectively and realize if you’re just missing companionship and a habit, or if you do actually miss your ex-boyfriend, as a person and partner. Yes, there is a difference, and in your heart, you will know it.

MORE: I Miss My Ex So Much! What To Do When You Miss Your Ex Boyfriend…

3. Allow yourself to feel

Please don’t mistake “being strong” with repressing your feelings. As long as you don’t allow yourself to feel everything, you can’t process the situation and you will have a very difficult time getting over it. I know that it hurts and you’re trying your hardest to get away from this feeling, but you can’t block heartache. The sooner you get through the grieving process, the sooner you will stop missing him.

4. Don’t rush

Listen, I know you’re hurting a lot right now and that you want this over with now, now, now. But if stomping your little foot and wanting it with all your heart didn’t work when you were 5, it’s not going to work now, either. You need to ride out the wave and wait for things to happen naturally.

We’re impatient creatures and exercising patience through suffering is a horrible thing to be tasked with, but there’s no fast-forward button on this. Plus, if you were able to skip this part, you would never draw any meaningful conclusions or grow as a person, would you?

MORE: These 8 Signs Mean You’re Not Over Your Ex

5. Express your feelings in writing

The best way to get over a feeling or emotion and to stop obsessing over it is to express it. Just let it out, put it out there, and you’ll feel a great release. But please, don’t turn up at his door declaring your love, don’t text it, and don’t email it.

Don’t skywrite it, either.

Instead, you’re allowed to write a letter. That you won’t send, of course. Pour your feelings onto that piece of paper. Then, you can burn it, feed it to the dog, or keep it somewhere. The act of putting pen to paper is enough, you don’t actually need to send it.
Seriously, please don’t.

6. Fill your time

The less time you’ve got to obsess over him, the less you’re going to miss him. Sometimes, we fool ourselves into thinking we miss someone or are still in love with an ex simply because we’re lonely, or bored, or have too much time on our hands and a deep bitterness about the fact that he’s moved on.

Not that I’m speaking from experience or anything.

And how do you counteract this unhealthy behavior? By filling up your time with activities. Saturate your mind with experiences, people, stories, new feelings, etc. He doesn’t fit in a mind where there’s no room for him.

MORE: Exactly How To Get Your Ex Back In 5 Steps Guaranteed

7. Keep your eye on the prize

Speaking of filling your time and keeping busy – this is a great opportunity to pursue a goal. Put your energy into a long-term achievement, like getting that promotion at work, going back to school to get another degree, go on a round-the-world trip, start a journey of self-improvement, etc.

No matter what you do, I want you to put yourself first and take this time to focus on this important goal in your life until the wounds have healed and you’re ready to move on.

8. Institute an Ex moratorium

It’s the worst when you and your ex were part of the same friend group, because it means you have a lot of mutual connections that will just keep mentioning him constantly. It’s like poking a fresh wound over and over.

That’s why I would consider instituting an Ex moratorium. All you have to do is ask your loved ones to be considerate and maybe not mention him around you for a while or invite him to your outings. It’ll get better in time, but until then, his name should be censored.

MORE: The Real Reasons You’re Not Over Your Ex

9. Put yourself first

When was the last time when you prioritized yourself? While you were together, it was all about him, about compromise, about meeting him hallway. Now that you’re broken up, it’s still about him because you spend all of your time thinking about him and missing him.

Well, it’s time for you to be selfish for a change and think about you for once! Take this time to rediscover what makes you happy, what kind of self-care you need, and fulfill all the little things you’ve been neglecting. The best thing about being single is that it’s all about you.

10. Hit the gym

Contrary to what Khloe Kardashian may have you think, this isn’t about you getting a “revenge body”. Physical activity is going to do you good because it’s active, it reduces stress, calms your anxiety, and occupies your mind. It’s healthy for you, and if you happen to also end up with a toned, shapely figure that makes your ex do a double-take and kick himself for letting you go, then that’s just a perk!

MORE: 15 Undeniable Signs You’re Not Over Your Ex

11. Take some distance

This is for his benefit and yours alike. Every relationship needs space. Especially in a situation like this where a separation has occurred, it’s clear that something is not working and you both need some time out to achieve some clarity.

That means that you need to step back and do your best to be mature about this and give him some space. This isn’t about who can freeze out who the longest or about “punishing” him by not speaking. It’s about your mental health and his, and the healthy future of your relationship, if there’s still going to be one.

12. Travel

When things get overwhelming, sometimes the best thing to do is just to get out. You’re not running away, you’re just taking some space. Go somewhere new, see new places, and experience new things. Taking yourself out of your normal environment can act as a great reset to your system. And who will even have time to miss that loser ex, when there’s so much to see?

MORE: Ex Boyfriend Has A New Girlfriend: I Miss My Ex Boyfriend But He Has A Girlfriend

13. Don’t torture yourself with reminders

This one is really something you are aware of, but you probably can’t bring yourself to do, right? It’s common sense that you’re not going to stop missing your ex if he’s staring at you from your bedside table… and from the fridge… and from your phone screensaver…

Rip off the band-aid, honey, and start taking those down. The same goes for any jewelry (especially engagement rings!), sentimental gifts, letters, etc. You don’t want those around you reminding you of him every two seconds.

14. Introduce some new faces

They say that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

That’s nonsense.

Listen, mindless casual sex is not going to heal your broken heart. What I mean by seeing other people and inviting some new faces into your life is that it’s time to meet some new people.

Even if they’re not soulmates or even romantic liaisons altogether, making new friends, hearing new stories, and spending time with other people will distract you a little and open your life up to new, and better opportunities. It will show you that your life isn’t over just because he is not in it anymore.

MORE: Why Do You Still Miss Your Ex?

15. Consider counselling

If you’re having a really hard time, or the break-up is still fresh, therapy can be an excellent resource to help you process your feelings in a healthy way. I’m willing to bet you’re in your own head too much lately and that can skew your perception.

You don’t know what’s real and what’s just your loneliness talking anymore, so having an unbiased professional lend you an ear can help a lot, and you’ll get valuable advice that’s not coming from your bestie who just wants you to shut up about your ex.

16. Try for a reconciliation

At the end of the day, the relationship may not actually be hopeless. Usually, once you get over the Denial stage of your grieving process, you should be able to recognize what the problem was.

But what happens when you think about it and realize that maybe your differences were not insurmountable, and you actually made a really great fit? Sometimes, a period of separation can help you see things more clearly and put things into perspective. Things that previously seemed huge can now seem unimportant. In that case, getting back together can be a way (maybe the only one) to stop missing your ex.

As you can see, while break-ups can be emotionally devastating, they’re not the end of the world, and the day when you will stop missing your ex-boyfriend is in sight. You just need to shift the way you look at things and take a more active role in your recovery. Wallowing does not become you, so start taking steps towards feeling ok again!

Is it too late to get your ex back? It’s harder to get your ex back but that doesn’t mean there is no chance. In any relationship I’ve found there are 2 pivotal moments that determine if your relationship ends in heartbreak or you get to live happily ever after so it’s vitally important that you take the next step and read this right now, because at some point the man you want is going to ask himself: Is this the woman I should commit to for the long term? That answer determines everything… Do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material (the type of woman he commits himself to) or if he sees you as just a fling? If not you need to read this next: The #1 Thing Men Desire In A Woman…

The second problem almost all women experience: At some point he starts to lose interest. He doesn’t call you back or he becomes emotionally closed off. He seems like he’s losing interest or pulling away – do you know what to do? If not you’re putting your relationship and the future of your love life in great danger, read this now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…

Want to find out if you can get your ex back? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can ever get him back or if he’s gone for good…

Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?

In summary…

1. Stop blaming yourself

2. Think about why you’re missing him

3. Allow yourself to feel

4. Don’t rush

5. Express your feelings in writing

6. Fill your time

7. Keep your eye on the prize

8. Institute an Ex moratorium

9. Put yourself first

10. Hit the gym

11. Take some distance

12. Travel

13. Don’t torture yourself with reminders

14. Introduce some new faces

15. Consider counselling

16. Try for a reconciliation

stop missing your ex and feel ok

13 comments… add one
  • gabrielle September 24, 2018, 7:45 pm

    don’t spend time alone because it will only make you want to reminisce and cry. go see your friends or get a manicure, go shopping, do fun stuff! these are really going to make you feel better and eventually forget him.

  • marithe September 21, 2018, 6:36 pm

    i threw away all of the stuff he gave me; the teddy bear, necklace, cards. for me, this is the best way to forget him.

  • zoe September 20, 2018, 5:29 pm

    go out, meet new faces, have fun. that’s basically how i did it when i couldn’t seem to get past the break up.

  • erin September 19, 2018, 5:59 pm

    thanks for showing me how it is done but personally, i don’t think i can stop missing my ex because i am still in love with him.

  • francia September 18, 2018, 2:13 pm

    stop blaming yourself. do not ever make it about you or what you may have done wrong, any relationship is 2-way. 1 may have done something bad to cause the break up but it always takes 2 to decide to work it out or just give up.

  • irene September 17, 2018, 6:31 pm

    stop missing him? maybe. feeling ok again? i don’t think so… after all we’ve been through, i didn’t expect us to be in this kind of situation.

  • alessa September 15, 2018, 8:52 am

    definitely don’t rush but take some distance. you won’t be able to really get past it and move on if everything around you keeps reminding you of him.

  • catherine September 13, 2018, 1:46 pm

    we had an unhealthy relationship but still, i miss him. i guess it is just perfectly normal because i loved him. yes i miss him so much but it doesn’t mean i should be with him, again.

  • laarnie September 12, 2018, 3:18 pm

    eyes on the prize! this will keep you motivated enough. just know that things will always get better as long as you stay focused on the more important things.

  • brenda September 10, 2018, 6:57 pm

    i threw all the stuff that my ex gave me and burned all our pictures together so they would not remind of him. i really hate him! if he is the last man on earth, i would never ever go back to him! never!

  • cecilia September 7, 2018, 2:33 pm

    i might consider counseling. i am really having a hard time forgetting him and i could use some help. thanks for posting this. it really helped me.

  • penelope September 5, 2018, 2:51 pm

    i just broke up with my guy and i feel so incomplete now. i miss him so bad and how i wish things will become normal and for me to feel ok again. will definitely use some of your advice. thanks

  • erianne September 4, 2018, 1:24 pm

    take time out and some distance. this will help you put your focus on things that really matter. most especially, this will make you ficus on yourself and be more confident to face tomorrow with your head held high.

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