Now, this is something that can actually drive a woman crazy, make her feel sick to her stomach and make her feel unworthy of love. When a man looks at another while he is with you, it can be an earth-shattering experience, something you can’t help feel furious and unbearably upset at. Even if you “aren’t that type of girl,” the type who gets jealous a lot… seeing your man stare at some other woman can send you into a wave of fury coupled with a sense of sadness deep in your soul.
A lot of the men I’ve taught as clients have come to me with what I thought was an unusual problem: they couldn’t stop looking at other women when they were in a relationship, and it was affecting them negatively.
For many of them, looking at other women had become a big problem. Married men especially had trouble – because everything in their lives was going well for them, except that they couldn’t stop their “wandering eye.”
For these guys, it negatively impacts their lives because of how upsetting and hurtful it can be to their partner, in addition to how demoralizing it is to them when they realize they’re unable to stop on their own.
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They struggle with incidents that they feel are out of their control, like a quick glance at a woman on the street – and they feel awful about it, especially if the other woman notices. The pain comes both from hurting their partners, and from not being able to control looking and feeling awkward and panicked about it.
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Taking The First Step
The first step in addressing this issue is recognizing that it’s a problem. A lot of men simply don’t consider this a problem, either because they’re single or because they think their spouse is unaffected.
But for the men who know this has a painful effect on their spouses, it’s a huge step to admit that they want to stop this behavior – they just don’t know how.
To realize what this habit is about, we need to look at it from the beginning. Most men start habitually glancing at women when they’re teenagers. They discover it naturally and it actually feels good to them – really good.
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Men are especially susceptible to a very positive physical reaction when they see an attractive woman as teenagers. Their brain responds with neurochemicals that make them feel amazing – which reinforces the behavior.
Why Men Look At Other Women
Men are especially susceptible to a very positive physical reaction when they see an attractive woman as teenagers. Their brain responds with neurochemicals that make them feel amazing – which reinforces the behavior. These neurochemical responses in the brain are the reason why men begin to look at other women habitually. Add that to the constant stream of attractive women shown on the news, in media, tv , and movies, and you get the makings of a habit that can be very difficult for a man to break.
The habit becomes so strong that for a lot of men, it feels like a “reflex” rather than a habit, and like it’s impossible to stop doing.
Meanwhile, men are told over and over again that this is “natural” male behavior, that males “should” glance and “check out” other women. Advertisements on tv are particularly guilty of promoting this behavior, and most of them use very attractive women to try to sell products.
In short, this kind of behavior is not only promoted, it’s reinforced day after day by the media in today’s society – which makes it even more difficult for a man to “turn it off.”
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It’s only when men get into committed relationships or marriage that they start to see this behavior as a real negative – because they see how it’s hurting and negatively affecting their partners.
Here Are 3 Suggestions For How To Get Him To Stop Looking At Other Women:
1. Help him realize that this is a habit , it’s not a reflex . He doesn’t have to do it, it’s not uncontrollable, it’s just a deeply ingrained habit that he will need to work on breaking.
2. Help him to take a look at his life and really scrutinize it to find the things that support and feed that habit. Things like internet porn, advertisements with hot women, men’s magazines, etc. Try to help him cut those things out of his life so they don’t make the habit any stronger (and give him some breathing room to work on breaking it.)
3. Acknowledge that it’s totally normal and natural to notice attractive women. It doesn’t make him a freak, it doesn’t mean he’s awkward or a creep, it’s totally 100% natural. What you’re trying to help him do here is not stop noticing them, but rather limit how often he “checks out” other women and for how long.
Do you have any strategies to help stop the habit of looking at other women? Let me know in the comments!
If you loved this article, then check out these other must-see related posts:
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5 Tips For Dealing With Your Partner Looking At Other Women
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It’s not a habit, it’s a choice. It is very disrespectful to look at another women while your partner is with a girlfriend or spouse.
When I first met my husband who had been unhappily single for many years, he was a severe ogler. I bluntly told him I know why so many women slipped through his fingers. . I told him if he wanted me, his behavior needs to change. He has been wonderful ever since. He knows that I will walk away if he starts that again and believe me, I absolutely will leave because alone feels better than feeling rejected on a daily basis.
Wow, these comments make men seem really shallow.
I hope the ones I read aren’t from grown men.
Beauty fades and if you are always judging your partner based on her looks than maybe they should do the same. Beauty is skin deep. If you really would consider being with someone else because they are more attractive, then you should, because you don’t deserve the woman that you have. You aren’t in love with who a person is because you are too busy lusting. You deserve someone to treat you the same way, so please leave the lady you are with and go ahead and lust and see where that gets you
What I really hate is when women give birth to a man’s child, and months afterwards, before they have time to get their body back in shape,their man is already drinking in the girls in the grocery line, women that would never be with them. It’s so insulting. Men can be horrible.
I’m Russian and I was curious bc Russian articles have explanations like it’s natural and so on. So I’ve decided to find out if English-written articles will have another punchlines. I just do not understand: it’s natural to become angry if you’re insulted for example but people are civilised animals so it’s not normal to use force in such cases like in jungles. Argument “it’s wild but that’s man nature” is not valid but everything is changing when case concerns women. Men just don’t feel obligated to control impulses which not punished by state but obviously hurt they partners. (I don’t speak about casual glances only about staring).
I (22 y.o.) broke up with a boyfriend (31 y.o.) bc he was not only looking at another women at the street, he showed me his exes’s photos “don’t be jealous, they are all in the past” but at the same moment he enlarged those photos especially exes’s boobs. That was my first relationship thank’s God I have enough self-respect not to tolerate his behaviour. I not only felt insulted he disgusted me so I didn’t want his kisses and hugs and so on. When I fell in love with him I didn’t know he’s that old (relatively but for me it’s too much), but then I saw some men always remained childlike. It got two months from affection to physical disgust. When I said him I’m not in love anymore he’s responded what have I done wrong why women always left me and so on. He’ll never get it, so, my advice for women: give an ultimatum (If you can do smth, I also can and flirt with guys, you know, it’s easier for women to get sex, your boyfriend pretty sure knows it too. If his looks are not a cheating so are yours). You can say stop it or I will break up with you but you should be ready to do it if he doesn’t change at all. Trust your own eyes! If he says you’re the best but keeps looking around he’s casting not believe his words bc he wants you to get involved to that competition. Why do you need that?
It’s like asking one to look at only one painting in an art gallery. We are not your pet dog to be trained into a behavior suitable to you. When you started dating you always did what you could to make yourself attractive for him. Don’t stop doing that and expect him not to start noticing other women.
Now that you said that it makes sense. I agree with you.
That means that you don’t love the person that you’re with. Again more interested in lust than love. That is shallow and disrespectful. and are you hitting the gym every day for your significant other?
And by the way I agree with taking care of yourself. I run everyday and keep myself up very well. But there will always be someone more attractive than me. Same goes for just about everyone else. Does that make someone less of a person? No. Does that make them less worthy of love? No. It just makes you a bad boyfriend or husband.
I’m a guy, and I’m struggling with this.. It just doesn’t make any sense! After hours of searching and reading; this article is the best! Please, let me know your thoughts on my situation:
My previous girlfriend, I had 0 doubts we were destined to be. We met as patients in the hospital, and she was (still is) among the hottest few girls on the planet. A perfect 10, 11 even, by any standard. It was fairy tale / soul mate romance from the start. We moved in together not long after we met. We were both totally on cloud nine. It lasted until I had to travel for work for a cpl months, and she meets someone else..
2 years later, I STILL feel the scars of that brutalizing devastation!
While we were together, I felt like king of the world. I didn’t find other women attractive at all. She thought I was looking a couple times, but that was legitimately me thinking “I can’t believe I used to think that girl would have been a 9,and now she’s like a 6”
Sometimes another true 10 would be in our presence, but it’s like my girlfriend was a Ferrari F40, and a Lamborghini pulls up. You’ll look at it like ‘not bad, a nice work of art, but still doesn’t compare.’
Before this girlfriend, I had 2 other “10” girlfriends, and that was after a lifetime of rejection. Until I figured out to focus on my self more.
My girlfriend now (of 1 year) is like a “9” on her best day, and maybe a 7 on her worst. Although, our connection is like none other! Two peas in a pod we are. Mentally, she’s light years ahead of any other female I’ve ever met. I’ve no doubts marriage is in our future :)
Every now & again I wonder if that could be something of a mistake? I realize I could land another “10” but with nowhere near the connection we have. Getting together I was like ‘of course I’ll trade that for such a solid connection.’ My ex-gf though, I just got lost and captivated everytime I looked at her. My current gf, not as much. I wonder how much that is worth Til Death Do US Part? Could that evolve into unhappiness later? ♂️
Some guys (most that I know) are with very fat and/or foul significant others. One of my coworkers has been married one of both realms for 25 years! I don’t know how those guys do it! Also, he’s fairly happy, and he’d never cheat. But he does frequent bikini baristas.
I feel like someone will chime in with exactly what I need to hear and/or what I’m missing.. Thank you in advance :)
You just might “grass is always greener onthe other side” yourself until there isn’t any greener grass & you are stuck with yellow grass. Stick with your 9 & connection. Learn the attitude of gratitude.
The problem with me is, they think they’re so much hotter and so much worthy of more than a “9.” I’ve seen it time and again. They want more, like a 9 is absolutely awful or something, when the dude is lucky if he even scrapes being a 5. The way I see it is, if you’re that shall and more concerned with looks and sex, which all fade to nothing over time, rather than someone you have a genuine connection with, who will love and support you on your worst day, when really all you deserved on that day was a slap in the face, then do your girlfriend a favour and dump her so she can find a man of substance. If you’re on the internet waiting for someone to chime in with what you need to hear, you obviously do not realise what a great woman you have in your life and you DO NOT deserve her. A better man does, so let her go so he can find her and treasure her.
*the problem with men is*
This is very deep and I’m sure a lot of us feel this way and have no idea why. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this.
It’s not fair we are born men and our hormones make us miserable most days. I feel this is an evolution thing and in the end we are all born to breed. We are an intelligent being but also can be very very simple and dumb. I have no idea the answer or the solution but I wish I could find it! I am with an amazingly wonderful women who is Incredible with my son and with me and I have never had someone genuinely love me like she does(I’m divorced she isn’t) but I can’t control the doubt it in mind and it hurts me and makes me extremely sad that I have these feelings that I don’t want! :/ idk what to do and never want to hurt anyone…
My man is weird, off course he does check out women beautiful and ugly, he never says anything if they’re beautiful in fact he turns away if they are, however there was a instance yesterday where he pointed out a beautiful girls legs which had spiderwebs and he said she’s so attractive but her legs look really bad. My feelings are mix on this. He is very attractive man himself he’s also a body builder so it’s normal for him to meet attractive females all the time. I don’t feel disrespected because there was a man yesterday who was very aesthetic, my boyfriend pointed him out as well saying he’s got a good body. At the end of the day does he show you love? He may be glancing at other chicks but how is he with other areas of life.i feel loved and I’m not the most beautiful in the world but in his eyes I am
I have told my husband many times ,”look I will save you the trouble. How about we just get divorced and then you can look at whoever you want, be with whoever you want and not have to feel guilty or apologize. We will count this whole thing as a mistake we both made and the baby was the whole point of us being together and pretend it never happened. We will just be two ppl that get the baby on our turn and we will stay civil for him and you can look at all the girls you want.” Then he’s like no I love you and want to have a family with you. And I’m like well if that’s what you want then why do you look at other women if I am the one you want. See the whole “I love you” thing just sounds made up to me. I think he just wants a family…. I don’t really think he cares what female it’s with. Because he seems to look at them all so… why just pick one? Have as many as you want, be a parent, have your baby mamma out of the way. I mean he could have it all why trap me if he knows he’s just going to look at other women and hurt me?
My question is… what is the point of being in a relationship if your man is just going to look at other women and a part of them wonder what it’s like to be with that other woman? Why do you even try to commit if you know deep down that you can’t because your eyes like to wonder? If you already know your going to hurt a woman by looking at other females… do the “love of your life” a favor and tell her ,”love you but my eyes love beautiful women. Sometimes I see a beautiful women walk across the street and a part of me wonders what it’s like to be with her. So instead of being selfish and trapping you in a relationship where your constantly having to wonder if your good enough for me. I’ll just be honest and tell you that you are… I’m just a whore mentally and I’m not good enough for anyone unless she’s a one time thing so I can screw everything that walks.” A little honesty is what women need. I am married and sometimes I wonder if it is mentally worth it because I do my hair for him, I watch what I eat for him, I clean the house so he will have a clean place to come home to, I put on perfume so I smell good for him, I change up my hair for him but it doesn’t matter how pretty I try to be for him he is still going to look at other women. But I can’t look at another man because i know what it feels like for him to look at beautiful women and I get a sick feeling in my stomach because I never want him to hurt like I hurt. What’s the point of a relationship if all it does is hurt?
What if you’re straight up with your man about your insecurities from the start. Before there was any mention of dating I told him in detail that I cannot tolerate men who do this.
I don’t deal with men who vocalize another woman’s good looks. I’m not an idiot, I know you’re thinking it but you don’t need to say it.
This man told me he understood, agreed it was disrespectful and says he had no desire to even look at another woman.
We start dating, have a nearly perfect relationship, never argue, great sex every night and then bam. A year into it all of a sudden starts looking at naked women online. All the time!!
IDGAF what anyone says, when you’re straight up about this and the guy pretends to be understanding and turns on you, he’s a piece of s who I no longer want to open my mouth or my legs for.
He’s gonna find out tonight he can’t have his cake and eat it too. I’m not telling him not to notice a beautiful woman he encounters, but going out of your way to “like” dozens of dirty Facebook pages so those women are popping up in your news feed, he’ll to the no!
Not tolerating it!
It’ll be a civil convo but if he doesn’t wanna get rid of those Swank pages and stop thus behavior, I have NO problem walking out that door because I warned his ass!
We cannot help how this makes us feel but men can control whether or not their actions hurt us!
There are good men out there who know not to behave this way so speak up ladies, don’t be afraid to walk out that door if your man wants to choose to look at women he doesn’t have a chance in hell with over you, the woman willing to do anything to make him happy.
I was a Bartender for many years. I talked to women for a living. Flirting means Tips !
Heres what I learned. Women are insecure about their breast size and general appearance. If they catch you looking at another woman…………..she is gone !
I dont care how great the sex is she is gone. Women are insanely jealous………..
she can forgive many faults on your part……..but not looking at some other woman.
If she catches you having sex with another woman…….she may cut you.
What if your bf admits he looked at someone because he’s curious.. and feels bad about it.. what does that even mean, does it mean he likes her.. or she’s better or what it’s hurting me and I’m so confused… And I feel ugly bc of it.. and dumb to.. I need help…
Dont believe you man if he looks at another then attempts to explain it away. Lies Lies Lies
But what if they know it hurts you, but they continue? My fiance doesn’t seem to care at all. I’ve noticed him staring at women’s butts multiple times. He says it’s not a “crime”
it isn’t a crime no but it will keep him perpetually single. do not accept it as ‘its what men do’ , im sure if you stared at other mens crotches and licked your lips when he was watching you he wouldn’t be so pleased (its what women do right?). it is disrespectful and tbh I woudlnt have it and haven’t. he is not a sex god where women cannot resist him, men like to think they can have any woman they want , they cant. before you ditch his ass (which I hope you will) make sure when youre out that you stare at mens crotches,smile at these men, wink, (make sure theyre not attached that’s disrespectful to their missus) , but turn the tables and make sure he sees you, its not a crime afterall. Then when hes that insecure he thinks you will go off with another man, do exactly that. let his insecure ass stare at other women as much as he wants.
The world is full of attractive or sexy people and yes, it is OK for a man to notice an attractive woman, and even to acknowledge momentarily with his eyes, smile or a BRIEF admiring but RESPECTFUL comment to his lady (eg, ‘that woman has fabulous hair’). What is wrong is when a man’s eyes linger over another woman; even trying to make eye contact, or their eyes follow her round the room; for example, when she goes into the Ladies and then waiting to oggle when she comes out again; or overly interested in what the attractive waitress in the tight top is doing or worse still, makes vaguely lewd comments about her body and breaks some significant amount of attention he should spend on his lady for the purpose of leering at other women. It is rude, disrespectful, demeaning and shows immaturity and an inability to control his own actions; behaviours learnt as a teenager and not overcome as a grown man. There is absolutely no excuse for it and no man can defend the extent I am referring to of eyeing up women.
If you go for a business meeting in a public place and an attractive woman passes, how unprofessional would it look if you stopped your conversation and turned your back in order to to eye her up and down…and interrupting the meeting by continually doing this when other attractive women come into view?? How distracting and ignorant is this? Even a lot of male work colleagues would not find it acceptable or amusing.
As the writer of the article states, it is actually down to a bad habit and if the man who does this really wants to grow up and does care about his lady’s feelings, he will listen to her and start becoming aware of his inexcusable behaviour and realise the difference between noticing an attractive woman and intently and overtly studying her!! Men tend to do this more than woman but either sex needs to realise it is not an attractive characteristic and will only lead to upset or reciprocal /vengeful behaviour and if you think it is not a problem that you do this, then why have a relationship with someone in the first place!
This is why i have a cat and not a girl friend, my cat lets me pet other cats.
your cat may let you pet other cats, but they wont let you forget, youll pay for it somewhere along the line. im a cat lover but cats are b**tards. good luck and I hope you have a happy future with your cat.
I have been with my fiance for 5 years and plan on marriage next year i have lost alor of weight therefore i have issues with sagging skin and boob size lose. When i see him look at a woman that we drive by and she is backward facing us who has a nice butt or a lady walking through a parking lot who has a nice body and boobs and he looks 2 3 times. This has gotten to the point where i dont like to go to public places because im even more self conscience about myself when he has to look at other woman because i will never have a body like that. I could but will take thousands of dollars for surgery to get extra skin off and i dont have the money to do it. So is he looking because he is missing that in the relationship? Because i feel if he was happy with me and us he wouldnt do that. He has issues on himself being skinny and i dont look at all the buff guys that cross my path.
he should make you feel like you are the only woman that matters, saggy skin etc or not (men are not that great and do not have the pick of the crop believe me) , also whilst you are looking at what you see as your body faults, have you looked at his? has he stopped taking care of himself as much, has he put on a little weight, does he not shower as much? he is not perfect! tell yourself that…he also has faults. time for you to start doing this to him. stare at mens crothces, smile at the guys, wink, make sure he sees you, then deny it. see how he reacts, he will start to get insecure, now the boots on the other foot. whats good for the goose. if he doesn’t change his ways, leave him.
My partner (of 6 years) has decided to tell me “what men are really like” . So, they look
At, and notice every other woman out their,
Have their “private time” and fantasise about
What they’d like to do with this person.
This has broken my heart , I also feel like
I’m no good enough, unattractive, worthless.
How can you be someone’s No 1 , priority, person he wants to be with, when all the time
He’s thinking about having sex with another woman ! This is emotional cheating , it’s so disrespectful, not only to the partner whose
Left feeling broken, but to all the women
Out there, having their privacy invaded by some
Guy! I’m disgusted !!!
So….to all you disrespectful little creeps out there…….. this IS NOT OK , this is wrong ,
You have no right to invade a woman’s privacy
, how about , for once, seeing the beautiful woman standing beside you , the one you chose ,
The one that , looks after you, cooks for you , cleans up after you, looks after you’re children, does you’re laundry, stands and irons it all , then puts it away . The one who….. no matter what, is always there for you , the one who, deserves the love and attention, the appreciation, the compliments from the man she loves!
HOW DARE YOU DUSRESPECT YOUR “loved one”
In such a manner, that it absolutely destroys her .
Theirs NO EXCUSE
I hope you got rid of him.
My issue is that what are these men thinking when looking. Are they fantasizing about sexual content when looking. But some how they say they love and adore thier wives and never would go there. I can’t grasp how they love us but desire sleeping with other women… No inner strength! They love us yes but if they were aloud to be with other women and still keep the cook, cleaner and the Orphis they use while having sex with for friction all the while thier mind is on other women… I am over the lies men tell us and themselves that they are loyal… Maybe on body but not in mind..
Women are more emotional than men period. So when women try understanding men they really don’t get it. And no surprise vise versa.
But really, we are not at all complicated to understand at all. Until of course you try fitting us into your cookie cutter Prince Charming.
I love my wife, but it doesn’t mean I don’t automatically notice a good looking girl. It’s a glance. That’s NOTHING evil or wrong.
Now what I do from that point on is different. Do I stare? Wink? Look away? That’s where I choose to be NORMAL, creepy or a douche bag.
If you’re sitting right there & he chooses d-bag, than that’s what you have. Once I’m consciously aware I have noticed a girl (1.5 seconds) I immediately move along because I do not want to hurt my woman’s feelings, because I love her. And I love her because she’s not a psycho jealous B*#. But get this straight, Men can fk a sock because we do not need to love something to fk it. Our love & sex can be together or completely separate. Meaning we can fall out of love when you stop being the girl we fell in love with, but still continue wanting sex.
Now we DO equate you having sex with us as you loving us. Because why else would you? We know u won’t keep that Barbie figure, but keep the humor, or confidence or adventure we fell in love with. Can’t blame all that on age. We don’t need perfection, but stop trying all together and we notice. We notice u stopped, in a world full of women who still put in effort. While we’re at it, blame other women. If we walked around w our c*cks hanging out u ladies would glance, maybe stare. U can man hate all you want but that won’t change men’s initial reaction to a tight skirt or low shirt. Anyway, probably put in effort to understand what your man really wants instead of jumping to bashing him about your own insecurities. F his brains out. He will rush home from work, skip guys night out,& genuinely become more interested. This is just MY 33yo-married 4 years-opinion.
Such a convenient excuse…my husband (of 35 yrs) gets of this and yes, I am attractive enough that I’m the woman that’s actually getting looked at even by men younger than me and quite frankly that’s painful to because you know the pain it causes their women. But even with all of that my husband has had the problem of the wandering eye that goes beyond the first look that is, hurtful to me and an embarrassment, quite frankly to both of us. He has matured to the point that he is realizing the what it actually is is an addiction, but in our increasing no responsibility Society that is not something a popular view right now. He is now actually seeking counsel on how to control himself and not give in to the impulses. And before the men go on a Bugaboo of women just don’t understand I have even told my husband I understand the first look it’s beyond that it is hurtful humiliating embarrassing and confusing. This from a man who has told me and his buddies I have so much sex at home I can handle it. So please for the love of God men stop throwing that out. Not saying it never happens but that is not always the case. You’re not dogs are not toddlers learn to control yourselves!
they want their cake and eat it sally.
they want a loyal wife who will cook, clean, look after them, do everything they require but the will always look at other women and fantasise. they know this woman who looks ‘perfect’ will not cook for them and do all the womanly stuff they expect, so they fantasise. they want it all sally im afraid.
It bothers me when my husband looks at other women. I feel not good enough ect. I don’t think it’s something I can ever over look or get past. What should I do?
I feel ugly because my husband looks at other women :( I’m attractive myself but brunette and my hubby always stares at blondes yet he never wants me to dye my hair blonde it’s weird!!
This is an AWESOME way on how to lose a guy! Men look because they have testosterone and it is in their nature. I love my GF with all my heart! I’d take a bullet for her. But I still look. I let her look at attractive guys. Chaining your mate up is a great way to lose that person. And being insecure and jealous is a great ingredient to ruin a relationship. Think of a relationship much like a job. If the job treats you bad or is unfair, you will start to look somewhere else better or just straight up leave. Relationships take a lot of work and understanding. I know my woman is going to look at hot guys. And she knows I look at hot girls. But she knows me well enough that I will not run to them.
Hi Jess can I ask for your view on something? Ive found out my partner has been viewing content online, erotic revealimg bikini babes,etc. I found this really hard to take and I think he does this fairly regularly. He said all guys do this even those in a relationship. Can you be honest and say if you think this is true? I..e have you ever purposely done it while in a relationship and do you do it regularly? Thanks for your help.
no it is not, it is a great way to lose a girl.
women have oestrogen and look for the best mate to bring up their children, that does not include men with wandering eyes. that is in our nature to reject a man who will leave us alone with our children when a new bit of skirt shows them attention. so with due respect, men with wandering eyes who blame it on testosterone and women who want the strongest faithful man will not choose an ogler. that’s a great way for men and women to never copulating again.
you also say you ‘let her’ lol look at other men,why should you let or allow her to do that, she can do that if she wants, do you ask her permission (to let) you look at other women? women usually aren’t insecure unless their man is looking at other women, so your point is moot (being insecure and jealous will ruin a relationship), what comes first the chicken or the egg?
If a man or woman wants to look at others when with their partners, be single. btw I have no problem with glancing, we are human and cannot wear blinkers, its the staring and ‘looking’ that is damned disrespectful to your partner. lets say you did not want to look at hot girls, you were in awe of your partner and only have eyes for her, how if she stared at mens crotches all day? don’t tell me you wouldn’t be insecure. its an excuse so you can look at other women without repercussions because your girlfriend looks at ‘other men’. grow up you guys or be single and ogle all you like (but remember some of the women u ogle do not like it either, and their partner doesn’t, you may one day get a punch in the nose, never mind the embarrassment)
also, have you ever thought your girlfriend ogles other men to get her own back on you ogling women, youll be surprised by her answer, if she is completely honest.
its actually other womens fault. when they see you, the GF, happy in your man’s presence and that he is TAKEN, they purposefully walk by, flirt, smile extra hard. most women dress provactively because they have bought into the fact that looks are the only thing important about them. just make sure that you speak and give your attention to other men, so YOUR man knows that you are more than the physical. trust me, it is our CULTURE that permits the abuse of relationships. i am not in one myself, but i notice immediately the women who come out of the woodworks or try to make attention to themselves simply because i have a man around. selfish, stupid, vain and childish. it is imprudent women’s faults as well as media
you amber have hit the nail on the head. you are bang on. SOME women are always in competition with other women(im better, younger, better looking than her) , and men know this and milk it. Most of these men are not that hot (do not kid yourself men) but other women will try to get attention from a man who is attached ( this is insecurity on the flirtees part). remember men, if you finish your relationship for a woman like this, if she was like that to you when you were in a relationship she will do the same to you when in a relationship with you. some women are no different to men here, when they have the prize they do not want it anymore, and you have lost a decent woman before to this. be careful what you wish for, karma will come and bite you in the ass. you are not that hot but rather a quest to prove to your girlfriend that she is better than her to win you. do not fall for these sort of women, but if you do be warned, it wont end well.you lose.
other women are a womans worst enemy. whatever happened to womens code and respect for sisterhood. it has gone im afraid. if women didn’t flaunt themselves to a man who wasn’t attached the man would have no reason not to give his all to his woman. men think they have the pick of the crop, when in reality the woman does, because she will do the same to you when she gets bored and when she has ‘won’ you.
I think it is socially sanctioned disrespectful behavior. It seems to be a consequence of the imbalance of power between the sexes that has existed since the onset of agriculture. Whenever one group is given power over another, abuse occurs. Ogling is a residual effect of women being considered less important in society and therefore less worthy of respectful behavior.
This comment is so far off that initially it made me mad. But then,..sincerely best of luck to you.
The fix is not to look at porn!! that’s another addiction or habit a married man or a man who has a girlfriend should not be involved in. It just makes them sicker than what they already were. Caught my boyfriend downright staring at the same girl not once but a couple of times then he lied about it..next time he does this I’m gonna video tape him so I can show him proof!!
The more i read the more lean
I hate this topic. After a bad breakup because of things like this, all that happens right now is a major headache.
I know how you feel. It makes me feel like if he isn’t satisfied with what he’s got at home.
Men can come up with all of the excuses in the world. I still think that it is disrespectful and that’s what it comes down to.
I agree Its very disrespectful to me when my husband comments to other women He just makes some damn excuse Im getting fed up!
LOL, JERKS. that was a good one!
If I man has to do it, I would prefer that he is NOT doing it in front of me and not making comments about other woman at the same time.
I am sure there is something psychological about it, but that does NOT make it right, right?
If my man said that it was a “reflex” I would smack him upside the head right away.
As a guy, I feel like it is just natural. I try not to do it, especially when around my wife, but it is almost subconsciously happening.
That is too bad, I hope you are not married.
I was thinking the same thing Sandra!
Hi Ernesto can I ask for your view on something? Ive found out my partner has been viewing content online, erotic revealimg bikini babes,etc. I found this really hard to take and I think he does this fairly regularly. He said all guys do this even those in a relationship. Can you be honest and say if you think this is true? I..e have you ever purposely done it while in a relationship and do you do it regularly? Thanks for your help.
I find it very disrespectful to see men looking at other woman!
I also find that disrespectful. That does not stop them from doing it and all that means is that you will have to show him why it is not something you appreciate.
Do you think it has anything to do with a man’s wild side? I just think it is disrespectful.
“wild” side? I doubt it. He is just being a jerk if he is doing it in front of you.
Glancing at the opposite sex when you are a teen is one thing. When you are with a partner, there is no reason to be doing that.
Yeah, teens are known for that as they notice the opposite sex, but there is no reason a married man should be looking around.
There are woman that look at other men as well and I wonder if it would be the same thing about the personality inside of them.
I am not sure that I understand. Even if it is something inside his head, it does NOT make it right. When you are with someone, you need to pay the most attention to them and them only.
I have seen men looking at other women my whole life. My mom always said that those types are just hard nosed jerks that have no respect.
It is something that just stands out like a sore thumb, right?
Like the old saying goes, “You can’t live with ’em, you can’t live without ’em!”
LOL. Haven’t heard that one in a while.
I can live w/o them !! You cant live with you cant shoot them
Things like a married man’s wandering eye are what keep me from thinking I can have a successful marriage. I hear stories, even of marriages that are “good” and the husband still goes out and “looks” at the opposite sex. That is not right. What is missing that he needs so bad and why can’t he ask his wife for it?
Do not let others downfall keep you from having a good marriage.
I agree with what Diane said. Do not like the bad habits of others determine if you are going to have a good marriage.
please don’t be that woman who thinks it’s the woman’s fault. I have been married for decades from my point of view and my husband’s he is missing nothing at all. he though does have the beyond the first look wandering eye issue and until about 7 years ago really struggled with pornography this before it was even available online. he has come to realize that it’s all including the wandering line and addiction and is seeking solutions. you are blessed if you don’t or never have had to deal this issue. it never gets easier.
I have never experienced this. Or maybe I just never noticed it. I will have to keep a closer eye on my b/f and what he is paying attention to these days.
It is not like you have to stalk his every move, these signs are very easy to see.
Omg why look for a problem you’re not having? Go watch a reality show if u need drama.
I hate when this happens. I am usually not that jealous, but what reason would he have to look at another woman?
I hate it even more when it is happening right in front of a women the guy is obviously with.
Yes! Point men don’t have to ponder, I am the woman that gets looked at and I dread seeing the hurt in their woman’s eye. I am actually literally 60 years old and I get looked young enough to be my sons. I am blessed with good genes and fashion sense…I did modeling in the 70s…so the point being, the men either don’t care or struggle with control. My husband had the addition issue, he actually sought counsel. So boys & girls it IS complicated – I am the hated looked at woman, even at 60, my husband even with such a wife (whom meets his needs) has to deal with other men eyeing his wife AND I , his wife dealt with him going way beyond the first look.If you care about the person that you’re with, learn to control your -self. STOP seeing it as an entitlement to do so and value your partner and their comfort more than your few minutes of pleasure. Another very Advanced human thought process , try putting images of your last love making session with your partnerpartner in your spank bank.
man up woman up and have some self-control! this from someone who’s been on the planet probably twice as long as most of you on this thread
I have a strategy, I just tell him that if he is going to look at women, I am going to look at other men. That usually stops it right away!
LOL, that should do the trick, huh? :)
I get that it might be a little natural, but does the guy have to stare like he’s looking at a juicy steak?
I wish I could get a look from a guy like that!
Go blonde. Usually does the trick. When I’m blonde I get lots of stares. Brunette .. nothing.
Don’t you think it is more of a “natural” thing? I don’t like that reason, but there has to be something primal about it.
Maybe. I wouldn’t buy it either way :)`
I am going to be OK with a man if he is going to use the excuse that it is just natural, however, if he is going to pursue the opposite sex, there will be issues.
I wouldn’t even be OK with the excuse.
It is truly a bad thing if the only issue you have in life is that your eyes wonder at other woman.
Maybe. Some people find it disrespectful.
I am going through this right now and I am not sure what to do. Part of me wants to just give up, while the other half of me wants to see if he will change his tune after I tell him the last straw is looking at other woman.
I think you need to talk to the guy and make sure that he knows that this is something that you do not appreciate.
I guess it is a bad thing to see a guy look at woman when he is clearly with another. What is even worse is when an older guy is checking out a younger person.
Yeah, that can be even creepier for you.
If my man said that looking at other woman was a “habit” I would be re-evaluating the relationship that we are in.
That is the same thing I would be doing.
Jerks! That is all :)
I can buy that it is a habit that was picked up along with being single, but why can’t a guy just learn to turn it off out of respect?
God gave us eyes to look and it’s normal to look at attractive people. Men and women fantasize about others unless you’re dead. Lol! I used to be jealous at one time, but opened my mind and realized that sometimes you have to fantasize to keep your relationship hot and sizzling! There will always been beautiful women or a more handsome man but as long as you love yourself than you don’t have to worry or feel threatened that your significant other will cheat on you. If he does then leave his ass and find a better man. Men will always look at all women whether she is thin or beautiful. Women also look but we hide it better. Women carry yourself with confidence and never show jealousy because then your man will get a huge thrill just knowing you are insecure and he will stare even harder. Men can be jerks that way. Just shake it off and women show your man that you are sexier and better looking than any woman he looks at. Your self confidence will make him wonder why you don’t get jealous. Therefore he eventually will stop trying to get u jealous. Men love drama so to speak, but don’t let him create the drama of staring at other women. Love yourself as you are that beautiful and sexy women won’t ever give your man the time of day because it’s all a game beautiful woman play to get the man to look at her to make the gf or wife jealous while she walks away laughing her ass off because she made the woman feel insecure.
Great view! Control what’s in your control, you. Not culture, not society or even your man.
I agree with everything, except the Men love drama. We HATE drama.
Habit. That might be something you can help him break. It is going to take some time, but usually if you talk about how it is disrespectful to you, his habits should change rather quickly.
Thank you for posting this. However, it does not help the fact that my b/f is always doing this right in front of me. It is frustrating and I can barely handle it.
Because they are jerks, I thought that was obvious.
LOL, that’s the first thing that I thought :)
I guess it could be scientific. As long as the guy is not doing it when I am around, I guess there is nothing I can do about it, right?
I agree that you have to nip the issue right away. A man might have come from a relationship where he could look. That is not right no matter the situation!
I don’t know! If I knew the answer to this AND could stop them from doing it I would be a millionaire with a great book!
There would be a million woman walking around that knew the answer if one of us knew it!
When you dig deep down, I am sure it is a natural thing for the male to do. The weird thing is that there are woman that do it also, but that is rarely talked about. How come?
Why do you think? Most of the cheaters are men, that would be my guess.
Most of the cheaters that I know are men.
I get the whole “natural” thing, but really, doesn’t it come down to respect?
It does. If the guy cannot keep his eyes off another woman, there is something that should be discussed.
I totally agree. This might seem like habit, but it really comes down to respect in my opinion, like many others here have said.
If you really figure this one out, you let me know. I am constantly giving my man a little reminder that he should not be looking at others.
That is good, but you shouldn’t have to do that right? Out of respect, he should just ditch thinking about what the other person looks like naked and go from there.
I guess I never really had any issue with a glance, sometimes that is just how it happens. But if I catch my man making a habit of it with the same lady, that would be enough to fire up my temper.
When it comes to men and other woman, it is a fine line, but for the most part, you want a guy that is NOT going to do it.
Very simply put. NOT doing it would be better for all parties involved.
I am sure they all have their own reasons. I am just not going to say that any of them are justified :)
Agreed. Been down here before and would not tolerate it again!
I feel like you could take a slow approach to making him understand. But, at some point he would have to make a change that is noticeable for you to move on with him.
Oh its a neurochemical alright. A quick snap in the back of the head should fix it LOL.
LOL, that would fix a few more things that just his wandering eyes!
Funny but true..lol