So you’re trying to figure out whether it’s possible to get your ex back. I get asked this question all the time. The specific situations and scenarios are always different, but the core is the same.
You want to know whether it is still possible to rekindle a past relationship or whether too many things have happened that will make it impossible. Maybe it’s been too long and you aren’t sure whether too much time has gone by. Maybe things ended badly and you don’t know if too much damage has been done to ever make things work again.
The bottom line is… it is absolutely possible to get your ex back in many situations. I have personally seen it happen too many times to even count. I’ve seen couples who have been apart for a long time yet they still manage to reconnect after realizing they want to give things a shot again. I’ve seen all sorts of situations where a couple decides to give things another shot.
However, I have also seen a lot of situations where things just aren’t meant to be, whether it’s that the relationship was too toxic and dysfunctional to be fixed… or whether it was more of a rebound relationship or a physical relationship rather than a real, meaningful emotional connection.
With all that said, I want to give you the specific signs that it is actually realistic to get back together. I have studied relationship dynamics over the years and have noticed specific patterns and trends in the couples that end up back together.
Based on all these patterns and after compiling tons of data, I have identified these key signs that you will get back together. I will take you through the most important factors to consider and describe what kind of scenario generally leads to a couple rekindling a past relationship.
The Reason(s) Behind The Breakup
Did the relationship end with someone cheating?
Did you stop having physical intimacy? Was one partner more interested in sex, which left the other partner feeling unsatisfied and undesirable? Did this create a lot of tension?
Was the relationship codependent and unhealthy?
These reasons make it unlikely that you will rekindle things.
Another factor to consider is…was there financial trouble, which tore you apart? If so, you can possibly figure out a way to solve this. It really depends on the specific situation if you are willing to compromise and make changes.
If it was something like your spending habits were out of control and he wanted to save money, which resulted in frequent arguments, chances are you shouldn’t be getting back together unless you are both willing to compromise and change.
Or was it something like long distance that tore you apart? If you can make an effort to either see each other more frequently or relocate to be nearer to each other, there’s a good chance of getting back together if the distance is what tore you apart.
Length Of Time You Were Together
How long were you together? A general rule of thumb is the longer you were together, the better the chances that you can rekindle things.
Why? Because clearly, to be together for so long, there had to be a real, emotional connection. On the other hand, even if you were not together for that long, if a deep emotional connection was established, you still have a shot at getting back together.
Of course, this has to be taken together with the reason you broke up. It’s a good sign for your prospects at getting back together if you were together for a long time, but if you broke up because one of you cheated and the trust was gone then your chances are much worse.
On the other hand, if you dated for just a short amount of time but had an intense, passionate, kind of crazy connection, but had to break up because one of you had to move away and you didn’t want to do long distance, and now you’re back in the same city, your chances are much better.
Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?
The Way Things Ended
Did one person break the other person’s heart or was it something that happened naturally? If it happened naturally and amicably where both people felt okay about it, this is a good thing in terms of whether getting back together.
Did it end in a vicious fight where both of you said horrible things to hurt each other, only to regret it after the fact? This makes the chances of getting back together a lot less likely unless both parties have changed dramatically and these wounds have healed.
Did it end in a nasty divorce with a custody battle? This is often hard to come back from, especially because divorce can bring out a person’s nastiest side.
A good rule of thumb is taking the time to figure out how you felt about each other at the end. If you felt real contempt, disgust, and hatred towards each other, those feelings make getting back together that much more difficult.
But if you still liked and respected each other as people, but had to break up for a different reason, it makes it much more likely that it would work out if you two decided to get back together.
Whether Both Of You Are Single
This is an obvious one, but worth considering. If one of you is in a serious relationship, it’s obviously a lot harder to rekindle an old relationship.
Then again, if he’s not single, he might be in a rebound relationship. This article will give you the signs that his relationship is a rebound and not anything serious.
How You Have Acted Post Breakup
Have you gone out of your way to “do things” in order to get back together? Have all these things failed? Have you called him a bunch of times and persistently tried to contact him? All these mean it’s a lot less likely you will get back together.
On the other hand, if you have maintained a good relationship post-breakup and been on good terms, it is much more likely that you will get back together.
If you have stayed close to each other, remained connected and both make an effort to stay in each other’s lives, there’s a good chance that you can get back together.
It’s hard to know what to do after a breakup if you want to get back together with your ex. A lot of the time, your instincts are going to tell you to do exactly the wrong thing.
This is my most complete article on how to get back together with your ex – a step-by-step guide that takes you from break up to making up.
Whether You Were Integrated In Each Other’s Lives
Did you meet his parents? Did he meet your parents? Did your parents like him? Did his parents like you? If you were very integrated in each other’s lives and both your parents and close friends and family approved of the relationship, this makes it much more likely you will get back together.
The real question here is: Did the people closest to you know about your relationship or was it something secretive?
If the relationship was kept in “secret” and was not publicly introduced to anyone important in your lives, this means you are probably not going to back together unless this changes.
Whether You’re Both Emotionally Ready For A Relationship
Are you willing to put yourself “out there” again even though you might get hurt? Are you truly ready to make this commitment again? Is he ready? What often happens when people are hurt is that they are not ready to jump back into the relationship again.
If he is not ready, you cannot force him to be. Same goes for you. If you are not truly ready, it’s best to wait until you are to even start thinking about something like this.
Whether You’ve Grown As People
Is your ex the same as when you were in a relationship? Or have you grown as people? Have you made necessary changes and worked on yourselves, so that things will actually work this time around?
The key with this is to look at why things did not work out last time and examine what will be different this time. If neither of you have changed or worked on yourselves, it’s unlikely that you will get back together (or even if you do get back together, it’s unlikely that things will work if neither of you have changed).
Whether You’re Able To Forgive Each Other
This is important because even though relationship is “old” getting back together should be a “new,” fresh situation.
If you cannot forgive (whether it’s one of you who needs to forgive or both of you) someone will hold onto resentment. Resentment is a relationship killer. In fact, if there is any kind of resentment still, you might as well stop thinking of getting back together because this will create a negative vibe from the start and set you up for unhappiness.
Your Life Circumstances
Are you both working jobs that require you to be far away? If you live very far away from each other, this decreases chances that you will get back together.
Another factor that decreases the chances of you getting back together is if both of your lives are insanely busy.
Another factor to consider is whether children are involved. If you have children together it creates an obvious reason to get back together, but this is by no means a reason to try to force things to work that are not naturally working.
This leads me to the last factor…
How Natural It Feels
This is what it really comes down to this at the end of the day. If it feels “right” and effortless, this is a good thing. This makes it very likely that you will get back together (and that your relationship will be happy).
On the flip side, if it feels forced and awkward, this is a bad sign indicating that you will not get back together (and even if you do, things will not head in a good, happy direction).
These are the top signs that you can get your ex back, but even if you see all these signs if you don’t know exactly what to do then your chances of getting him back are almost zero. That’s why you need the secret formula to get your ex back in your arms for good. It makes him see you as “the one,” the woman he couldn’t possibly live without. Don’t wait because every day that goes by with you apart means it’s more and more likely his feelings will fade and then it will be impossible to get him back, so read this right now before it’s too late: Do You Want Your Ex Back? Use This To Get Them Back…
Want to find out if you can get your ex back? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can ever get him back or if he’s gone for good…
Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?
These Are The Signs You Can Get Your Ex Back
- The reason you broke up wasn’t something that made you hate each other
- You were together for a really long time
- You broke up amicably rather than breaking each other’s hearts
- You’re both single
- You haven’t been vindictive towards each other since the breakup
- You were integrated into each other’s lives
- You’re both emotionally ready for a relationship
- You’ve both grown as people since the breakup
- You both forgave each other
- Your life circumstances make it easy to be in a relationship with each other
- It feels natural to be together