Coach Lee, as he is called by his clients, is something of a real life “Hitch.” You might remember the Will Smith movie where Will plays Hitch, a dating coach who helps people attract the person they want. Coach Lee channels that character in real life, operating more as an er for relationships. If you’ve been dumped and you want to know how to get back with your ex, he’s your man…or coach.
Lee has worked closely with one of the world’s leading Ph.D researchers on human sexuality, attraction, and relationship dynamics for the past 18 years. Lee is a breakup-recovery guru to help you get back with the one you love. He provides coaching, usually by phone, to help people who have been dumped get that person back.
We asked Coach Lee a few questions on breakups and the horrible experience of being dumped.
1. Why do breakups hurt so much?
“Breakups hurt because the rug has been pulled out from under us. We had been giving our heart to someone and we thought they wanted it, then it feels as though they tossed it to the ground, as though it wasn’t worth much to them. It’s not just some random person seeming to say we aren’t worthy of their love, but it’s someone who we care about which makes it hurt much worse and deeper.”
2. What do people do wrong after they’ve been dumped?
“Usually a lot because they panic. It’s a fight-or-flight reaction and people react in desperation. It’s like in a horror movie when someone is running from the killer and they keep going up stairs. It makes no sense because they are just trapping themselves. But because they are panicking, any effort feels like they are doing something that might help. It’s an illusion though.
“The worst thing you can do after you’ve been broken up with is to panic and to show your new ex that you are panicking. The drama and stress that it causes them will not only push them further away, but since they are doubting their future with you, seeing you react dramatically by yelling, pitching a fit, crying, overwhelming them with texts, going to their home uninvited, etc. will only make them less likely to consider getting back together with you. Because they’ll think that if, for whatever reason it doesn’t work out again, they’ll have to endure all that drama again. So the first thing people do wrong is allow their reaction to the breakup itself to hurt their chances of getting this person back into their lives. But it is still possible to get this person back, it just needs to be approached differently.”
3. Is a breakup usually the end? Like, for real?
“It doesn’t have to be. There are several factors at play, but if the relationship itself was good and the reaction to the breakup by the one being dumped wasn’t too extreme, the odds are usually strong that the relationship can be recovered. I’ve seen it so many times with my clients but the person who has been dumped has only experienced a breakup a handful of times at most, and sometimes never, so I have an advantage as far as perspective.
“My biggest challenge is getting my client to buy into what I’m guiding them to do. Too many times I’ve seen a person follow the roadmap I put together for them only long enough to get the other person reaching out to get them back and then they drop the plan and start trying to rush things. They end up panicking, pitching a fit – all that stuff I mentioned before – and they blow it. The people who do the best are the ones who are committed to the plan we put together and stick with it. Then we put together another plan once the two of them are back together to keep another breakup from happening.”
Coach Lee, whose website is MyExBackCoach.com says that his number one tip for dealing with the anxiety of a breakup is to take things one day at a time and to remember that just because you might not be able to get your ex back today, doesn’t mean they are gone forever. As long as the two of you are alive, there’s hope with the right actions and attitude.
Honestly, even if you have the right attitude and do the right things your ex might be gone forever unless you know the one thing you have to stop doing to make sure he doesn’t end up permanently in the arms of another woman. If you don’t know the specific mindset shift you must make the shot of getting him back are almost zero.
That’s why you need the secret formula to get your ex back in your arms for good. It makes him see you as “the one,” the woman he couldn’t possibly live without. Don’t wait because every day that goes by with you apart means it’s more and more likely his feelings will fade and then it will be impossible to get him back, so read this right now before it’s too late: Do You Want Your Ex Back? Use This To Get Them Back…