Exactly How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Using Text Messages

Exactly How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Using Text Messages

Oh, texting. What a lovely, convenient yet potentially horrible way to try to get your ex back. Texting can be an extremely powerful way to make your ex miss you, remind him of how good your relationship was and make him want to get back together.

In this article, I am going to give you the specific types of texts to use (and the specific kinds of emotions these texts create in your ex).

Before I go into the types of texts to use when texting your ex to get him back, though, I must first describe one of the most common (and fatal) mistakes both women and men make when it comes to texting their ex (and texting anyone they like in general).

So the mistake is… a constant barrage of texting.

I am talking about the kind of texting where you do something like this…

You know the kind of sequence I am talking about.

This might be an extreme example, but you get the idea.
Now, I am not trying to say that it makes you (or anyone who does this) a bad person because they get caught up in this kind of texting frenzy. Not at all. It is self-sabotaging, because it makes the person never want to text you back.

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It is a natural, human reaction to do this (which is why the “no contact” rule i am going to discuss next is so necessary).

So, now that you know what you should not do (ever, no matter how tempted you are to do this… and if you have already done this, stop now).

No Contact Is Necessary

What you should do is…do “no contact” for four weeks. At least four weeks.

Why? When you do this, it gives you the best shot of putting yourself in a position where you can ultimately use texts to get your ex back. If you do not follow the no contact rule, the rest of this advice has a low chance of working…

Yes, the no contact rule is that important.

It is necessary because it gives you time to gather your thoughts.

It also gives him the space to miss you. If you constantly contact him, he can’t miss you.

Rather than miss you, he will feel bombarded by an endless stream of texts. Trust me, I understand the impulse (and am even guilty of doing it myself) but you need to make a concerted effort to not contact him.

Rather than him feel a sense of satisfaction that you are clearly still interested in him, by doing this, you “turn the tables,” putting yourself in a position of power in a sense. The reason is because he will be confused about why you aren’t constantly texting him.

Plus when you do this, you eliminate all worry you would have when you end up in one of the most common traps women end up in…

Texting a guy and getting no response. The act of texting and getting no response is much worse than simply not texting in the first place. There is nothing worse than putting that text out there only to wonder when and if he will respond.

ok so

You have followed the no-contact rule, what comes next?


There are specific categories when it comes to the type of texts you need to send in order to make your ex want to get back together.

First Impression Text /Intrigue Generator

So you’ve maintained no contact for a good enough time, right? Good. This is key (I know I keep repeating myself, but trust me, this is so important it is worth repeating a million times to make sure it happens!).

When you do text him for the first time, the key is to say something intriguing and interesting. What I mean is, do not send a text saying, “Hey. How r u.”


The key is to make it happy, alive and fresh. When you show him you are doing something fun and feel happy, he will feel a positive vibe from your text. All men love a woman who gives off a happy, fun vibe. This will make him want to text you.

Nostalgia Text

Nostalgia is an extremely powerful emotion. You know how when a song comes on that reminds you of the past, it can make a mountain of emotion well up in your throat? Well, think of the nostalgia text in this context.

When you use the nostalgia text, you invoke powerful emotions in him that remind him of the best parts of the relationship. You were obviously together for a reason, right?

So reminding him of those highlights of your time together is a powerful way to make him miss you and think about the good times you spend together.

The best type of text to use in this case is something very specific between the two of you, something unique and off the wall that only you guys would understand. It creates a sense of unity and shared understanding.


Envy Creation

A lot of people say trying to make your ex jealous is an effective strategy. To be honest, this is an extremely tricky, dangerous one. But I am going to mention it because it is something a lot of people discuss. In certain situations, it can be extremely effective. In other situations, though, it can be a total trainwreck and lead to a complete disaster.

Here is the psychology behind it.

If you were in a relationship with someone, you get used to the person. You might even get bored of them sexually or in terms of how attracted you feel to them.

What happens, though, when you see that the person you got bored of is intensely desired by someone else? What happens is a burning attraction can be created if you do this the right way and in the right circumstance.

To some men, it is attractive (in an angry, furious sort of way) to know that someone else desires the woman you were with. It’s a primal, instinctual feeling.

However, if the man you are dealing with is an insecure type or an extremely emotional, jealous type… do not use any kind of jealousy when dealing with him.

I repeat: this will only create more problems if you try to make someone jealous if they are the wrong “type” to make jealous.

Another thing to keep in mind is… you can only do this text after you have already been texting him in a pleasant way where you have built up some kind of mutual rapport.

So here is an example of a “jealousy” text.

The issue here is this could end up being an extremely obvious attempt to make him jealous. So you might want to consider doing something less obvious.

If you want to take the risk though, you can go for it.

Freestyle Text

So this is the last type of “text” to use when it comes to your ex. What I mean by this is… if a certain kind of rapport of mutually exciting conversation develops, simply go with the vibe and let things unfold as they may.

That is the best way to think of it: if something happens naturally and organically that feels good for both of you, keep going with it. This is actually the best kind of “texting” to engage in, because it builds the foundation for a solid, healthy new relationship.

Whatever happens, at the end of the day, know this: even if nothing works, I promise, you will be ok. You have to know this, to truly believe this and live by this principle. This gives you the best shot of getting your ex back (when you really believe that you will be ok in your life whether or not you get him back).

It gives off a positive vibe that makes him more likely to want to be with you.

Want to find out if you can get your ex back? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can ever get him back or if he’s gone for good…

Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?

In summary…

How To Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back With Text Messages

  • First, remember to do the no contact rule no matter what
  • When you text him first send him something intriguing and interesting
  • Harness the power of nostalgia to get him thinking about you again
  • Make him envious by talking about something going on in your love life
  • Go with the vibe and let things unfold naturally

how to get your ex-boyfriend back with text messages

61 comments… add one
  • Amy February 18, 2021, 3:24 pm

    Hi need help getting my boyfriend back please

  • Vanessa June 26, 2019, 4:50 pm

    Hi, please i need your help. I Met a man from a dating app, he was very Nice to me, he was in my country, then he travelled back to his country. I thought i lost him after he travelled, so i wanted to stay away, because i thought i Will never see him again, then he told me he Will come back, so i should not stay away from him. So we chat everyday and he always responds to my texts. Then oneday, he Said he likes me. Later he changed, i dont understand him anymore now, he is distant, and i asked him if he has a girlfriend over there now, and he Said yes. Later he Said No, he was joking. I dont know if he is playing with me or not. What do you Think please ?

  • elana April 5, 2019, 1:54 am

    my ex broke up with me and we did the no contact and I sent an accountable letter and he said the breakup was hard and he thinks of me and wanted to hear from me soon. it was so vague and he didn’t ask any questions. he goes on and talks about him moving on career wise and getting back into hobbies. I’m not sure how to reply back it seems acquired now in some ways. it appears he might be ok us going our separate ways. I wasn’t sure what angle to approach if I reply back

  • emi March 15, 2019, 11:25 am

    I love my ex.. we broke up 4 months ago.. didn’t talk to him for like a month plus…then he told my sister he misses me,when I messaged him..we talked well then I said I missed him,he was like “if you say so”…what do I do?

  • sophia elona February 22, 2019, 12:33 am

    hi angels. you’re all here because you’ve likely experienced heartbreak, or maybe not, you just want your ex back. please do look at the situation at hand and be so sure that it wasn’t toxic, please don’t put yourself in that position. some exes are exes for a reason. <3

  • trinity February 19, 2019, 5:01 am

    it didn’t work for so what should I do

  • Ashley December 29, 2018, 2:52 am

    This advice is great. Thank you so much

  • Brian December 29, 2018, 2:47 am

    No worries. If you want your ex back, you will get him back. Just wait and make it happen.

  • Pallavi December 22, 2018, 10:36 am

    I followed no contact rule of 60 days and text him .He responded me positively. Now what next means should I wait for his meseg

  • Heather November 4, 2018, 3:18 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me and we still talked for almost a month after breaking up then he told me he didn’t think we should talk anymore but it’s hard for me I keep texting him but he’ll answer some texts but mostly he will ignore me … I just saw this article and I am willing to give this a try just want to know if it matters if you start the no contact once you break up or some time after ?

  • netah nyakio October 14, 2018, 9:04 am

    i need help plz

  • cristina September 18, 2018, 5:05 pm

    my ex contacted me out of the blue, after 6 months with a simple how are you doing, I waited at 30 minutes before replying. thank you, I hope you are doing well. well any how we met the same night one thing led to an other and we had sex. we talked for hours as of nothing had happened. I sent him a good morning text and vaguely replayed and has not messaged. should I wait until he does or text him first

  • Jenny August 13, 2018, 10:39 am

    After i ended my no contact rule ,i msg he read but didnt reply,what does that mean shoulf i keep trying or let go

    • JeriAnn Knowlton August 28, 2018, 5:40 pm

      During the no contact my ex keeps calling & texting me I have not answered or replied to his messages but im afraid he just gonna let go, what should I do? I have a. Bad feeling in my stomach that if I don’t answer him he’s gonna just move on. Please get b
      Back to me asap.

      Thank you,


  • Alex July 16, 2018, 2:39 pm

    Sometimes exes are exes for a reason.

  • Daniel March 21, 2018, 6:57 am

    Thank you Nick Bastion.I have struggled to care for myself in my Relation because often my self-care is interpreted by my Girlfriend as selfishness. I know, though, that I can’t wholeheartedly love her unless I love myself first.

  • Lauren Brown February 22, 2018, 8:29 am

    Let’s see how HE likes being hurt, when I don’t communicate with him for a while!! He left me all because he, “wanted to be alone”, he could’ve just asked me for a break! I’ll see how he feels to be hurt! I know he will come running back if I just disappear for a bit like Harry Houdini! When he wants me back, I’ll gladly take him back, BUT he will have to prove that this time, he won’t hurt me! I gave him my heart, and EVERYTHING! I know he’ll come running….

    • Alex April 13, 2018, 10:20 pm

      Did he come bck?

  • Febriyani January 26, 2018, 10:52 am

    This is actually work! Haha he broke up with me and ignored me for weeks. Once i worried why he didnt text me back, i kept to texted him and called him and he kept gave me the silent treatment then i gave up didnt say a word to him but i was still kinda hope he would texted me back. So i patient waiting for 2 months . tried cold as he did to me and then suddenly he texted me and also asked my sister how am doing and told me he missed me and etc and want me back! I meant if you trully love someone you need to be more patient and calm. Sometime guys love to test us and we are girls hate that.

  • Wiwin January 3, 2018, 1:18 am

    Great article I like it but I don’t know what to say , I love my boyfriend an Australian dearly, I knew him in a month from Asian dating cupid and he come to meet me before Christmas, I decided to choose him in among many foreigners bcs his look very respectful and decent and he invited me to go on vacation in Bali Indonesia I’ve decided to accepted his invitation not for easy, just because I’ve care and respectfully when someone cares me. And due to vacation in a week he has changed behavior became ignored me and keeps distant from me, I’ve tried to understand him and to make space not nagging him or ask him what happen? And today 3 January 2018 he asked me to go in different way he find some a reason to leave me, he told me that I’m not good qualified that it is sounds insulting for me
    I love him so much how to make him felt lost and come back to me??
    His type very practical person and cold man I’ve tried already any idea I learned from article but finally he blocked me from his whatshapp app

    • nokjoy January 8, 2018, 4:20 am

      same as mine???

    • Alex July 16, 2018, 2:25 pm

      If he blocked you, clearly he does not want anything to do with you. Just leave him alone and move on.

  • Christine November 30, 2017, 10:07 pm

    Iam married but I fallow in love with a man who is married too he was very fantastic later he neglected me due to text which was wrong he got annoyed up to now how can I get him back cz I can’t even sleep because of lost love

  • ruksar November 28, 2017, 5:14 am

    i need your number i have a bug mess bug problem i need a urgent contact please help me plaese i need ur contact please

  • Maggie November 22, 2017, 6:01 am

    I left my boyfriend 2 years ago and I didn’t say anything.and he did try to call me and talk me but I refused.and I make sure that he give up on us and we both move on.and I dated 2 guys after him and I didn’t survive,and I hv relised I the problem course I have never stop loving my ex. And now I want to tell him how do I feel ,even if I m mot getting him back.Maybe I will move on with my life.So tell where to start course I know what to say to him.

  • Iaia November 11, 2017, 6:59 pm

    I don’t know what to say I just need help , I emailed my ex after two years of broke up and we decided to meet as soon as possible we both in different countries,. My question is her reply was so nice and sweet and asked to unblock her to keep contact.
    There’s any hope or eroupean people have different style

    • Alex July 16, 2018, 2:30 pm

      Did you guys have a good connection? If so, then she could just be wanting to keep the friendship alive. But if she is replying to you after so long then maybe she likes you (again?). Also, did she break up with you, or did you break up with her?

  • moira August 1, 2017, 8:12 am

    I lost him without seeing it…N its all ma fault he doesn’t pick my calls or respond to my massages I dnt know what to do I really want him back

    • Jessica September 17, 2017, 7:11 am

      Hey Moria, i know you’ve probabky searched for a lot of ideas on how to get your ex back. How to make him fall in love with you again, and so on. Try taking a look at Samantha Sanderson’s Penguin Method. Another one that is likely to work is a program called The Soul Mate Switch by Nick Bastion. Hope thise can help you, hang in there :)

    • iana November 26, 2017, 5:44 pm

      I lost him some few months ago…i never affirmed to his proposal but I love him.we used to talk and do everything together but he went in for someone he loved but the ladies mom isn’t in support to their relationship… I still love him and I need him back

      • Alex July 16, 2018, 2:32 pm

        If he is in another relationship, then respect that and be happy for him. If you can’t do this, then cut him out of your life as much as possible.

  • queenie August 9, 2016, 1:26 am

    i’m not sure he’s going to fall for this, he never like texting but maybe this time w/out communication for a while would work somehow.

  • marla August 5, 2016, 11:50 pm

    i’ll try to do this, i hope to have an open communication w/ him and hopefully we can be together again soon.

  • cheryl August 4, 2016, 11:29 pm

    i’m not so sure i can do this w/ text but better than face to face esp if unsure of his feelings anymore

  • callie August 3, 2016, 6:43 pm

    love this post, will forward this to friends in need. ;)

  • elsie August 2, 2016, 7:07 pm

    intrigue creator and freestyle text for me! :))

  • farah August 1, 2016, 9:08 pm

    sending this to my bff! she really needs this..thanks!

  • atalia July 29, 2016, 11:01 pm

    i would use these tricks given the situation..lol! :)

  • ida July 28, 2016, 6:19 pm

    maybe i could use some of these!! i can’t wait! :))

  • astrid July 27, 2016, 1:15 pm

    he hates texting..haha! but i guess, with these tricks, i can get him into texting.. (;

  • dorcas July 26, 2016, 12:12 pm

    yup, i agree! better make a move than forever regret not doing anything at all

  • audrey July 25, 2016, 11:59 pm

    nice text messaging strategies! :)

  • isabelle July 22, 2016, 3:39 pm

    i really dont like doing it via text but dont have the courage to call him either..haha

  • chelle July 21, 2016, 1:07 pm

    haha! sneaky but cute and effective ways..will try these!

  • ivona July 20, 2016, 2:33 pm

    these are all nice tips & very doable ;)

  • fergie July 19, 2016, 1:54 pm

    i will definitely try you “First Impression Text /Intrigue Generator” text style!! (:

  • davina July 18, 2016, 12:06 pm

    nostalgia text? oh yeah, works everytime! lol!!

  • daphne July 14, 2016, 10:06 pm

    just be honest..youve been with the man for a time, you dont have to fake anything if you honestly want to be w/ him again

  • belinda July 13, 2016, 2:06 pm

    so sneaky..lol
    but these are all great tips (:

  • ellaine July 12, 2016, 11:40 pm

    trying to make him jealous is really tricky..it could pay off, but also a big chance to draw him away

  • grizel July 11, 2016, 7:48 pm

    oohh..this is exciting! im definitely trying this

  • jana July 7, 2016, 6:39 pm

    im too shy to try the nostalgia text..haha
    but im gonna give it a try

  • frances July 5, 2016, 3:10 pm

    these are actually ice tips..will use them

  • jessa July 1, 2016, 2:15 pm

    intrigue generator? i like the idea!

  • isobel June 29, 2016, 8:25 pm

    no contact? sounds hard 2 do but maybe works..

  • dominique June 28, 2016, 7:39 pm

    great tips! ill use these 4 sure

  • franceska June 24, 2016, 5:59 pm

    i would like 2 try the Nostalgia Text..sounds interesting

  • edith June 23, 2016, 7:41 pm

    these are too cute & too real as well..i could really identify

  • bianca June 22, 2016, 1:12 pm

    just go w/ the flow & text him what u really want to tell him
    he’s ur ex anyway

  • odessa June 21, 2016, 5:44 pm

    iv always used the “envy” trick & it work all d time
    men are usually stagnant when they get stoo comfortable w/ the relationship but once threatened, they come out of their shell haha

  • allona June 20, 2016, 12:16 pm

    i do this all d time..lol :))

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