One of the most frantic questions I get all the time is, “Why did he suddenly stop texting me?”
And when I say “suddenly stopped texting”, I don’t mean that he hasn’t texted you in the past couple hours (even if you sent him a dirty question or two.)
I mean that you once texted at a level that felt comfortable to you, but now he’s routinely taking a long time to answer your texts. It feels like he he suddenly lost interest, it doesn’t seem like he’s flirting or interested in you anymore.
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Here’s why: however things were before… texting at the moment is feeling like more of a chore or a burden for him.
Why is that?
It’s All About Vibe
To answer that question, I have to talk about a concept I like to call “vibe”.
Your vibe comes from your mood, and it shows through in everything that you do.
It’s not something you can fake – your vibe comes from how you genuinely feel in the privacy of your own mind – and no matter how you’re acting on the outside, your vibe will reflect how you feel on the inside.
A good vibe comes from a positive mood – where you’re feeling relaxed, comfortable, and happy. If you feel good about yourself and your situation – your vibe is good.
Bad vibes come from feelings like insecurity, worrying, and anger. If you’re feeling anxious, or angry at him, or worried about your relationship – it’s going to come through in your vibe and he’ll be able to sense it.
Now – if your mood and your well-being and your sense of happiness is hinging on whether this guy responds to you or not – that’s going to give off a bad vibe that will make him want to stop texting you.
Try this test to tell what kind of vibe you’re giving off: When your interactions with him take the tone of, “I will be upset unless _____ happens” – then it’s coming from a bad vibe.
And here’s the crux of it: When you text him and it comes from a bad vibe – it will always feel like a chore or a burden for him to respond. Letting a bad vibe fester is one of the biggest mistakes that destroys relationships.
But when you text him from a good vibe – it won’t feel like a chore for him to respond, and he’ll be much more likely to text you back.
Proactive Vs. Reactive
There’s another core reason why guys suddenly stop texting back – and it has everything to do with you being proactive or reactive.
What do I mean by that? Well, when you’re being reactive – then you feel upset or hurt when he doesn’t text back. When you’re being proactive – you’re still in control – you have power and choice in the situation, and you’re not going to allow yourself to be stuck in a situation that makes you upset.
Let me give you an example: let’s say you were making plans with him and you wanted to ask him a question and he left you hanging. A reactive thing to do would be to get mad at him and send him angry texts (which would carry a bad vibe with them).
A proactive thing to do would be to make other plans, so that if he flakes on you, then you have something fun you can do without him.
If he doesn’t respond when you ask him what he wants for dinner, be proactive – get whatever you want and have that. If he complains, he could’ve told you what he wanted.
If he doesn’t let you know when he’s getting home from work, then just eat when you get hungry. Don’t just wait and get madder and madder as he doesn’t respond without taking care of yourself – that’s reactive thinking.
Instead – be proactive – roll forward and take control of what you’re doing. If he has a pattern of not getting back to you, have a backup plan. Then, if he doesn’t get back to you in time, go do plan b.
If he has a problem with you going with your plan b if he doesn’t get back to you in time, you can be sure he’s going to change his behavior and start getting back to you more promptly.
And if after all this, it’s still a problem to you that he ignores your texts – even when you make other plans for yourself – then the harsh answer is to find another guy who will treat you the way you want to be treated.
What To Do When A Guy Suddenly Stops Texting You
If a guy suddenly stops texting you, the best possible thing you can do in the moment is take a step back and focus on your vibe. One possible reason he stopped texting was because texting with you felt more like something he had to do rather than something he wanted to do. The main reason that happens is because he senses that he needed to text you back or else you would get upset. The best thing to do in this situation is relax, let go of any resentment or anger, and focus on getting in a good mood before you contact him again. That way, texting with you will feel fun to him, and he’ll want to do it organically.
Relationships Are All About Quality
A good relationship isn’t about titles, it’s not about quantity of time you spend together, or anything else on the surface.
After all, if titles made a good relationship, then every marriage would be blissful, right?
Good relationships are about the quality of your connection, and the quality of time you spend together.
When it comes down to it, the best relationships are between two people who always strive to have a good vibe with each other – which means they do everything in their power to make sure they’re in a good mood.
Sometimes, that means making choices so that you’re not left hanging – and you don’t stew in anger or resentment waiting for the other person to respond.
It’s not selfish to put your mood as your #1 priority – it’s selfless. When you do that, you make sure your vibe is always good, and when your vibe is good it will effortlessly attract love into your life.
Want to find out why he didn’t text you back? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Why Isn’t He Texting You Back” Quiz right now and find out why he’s not texting you back…