One of the most frantic questions I get all the time is, “Why did he suddenly stop texting me?”
And when I say “suddenly stopped texting”, I don’t mean that he hasn’t texted you in the past couple hours (even if you sent him a dirty question or two.)
I mean that you once texted at a level that felt comfortable to you, but now he’s routinely taking a long time to answer your texts. It feels like he he suddenly lost interest, it doesn’t seem like he’s flirting or interested in you anymore.
Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Why Isn’t He Texting You Back?
Here’s why: however things were before… texting at the moment is feeling like more of a chore or a burden for him.
Why is that?
It’s All About Vibe
To answer that question, I have to talk about a concept I like to call “vibe”.
Your vibe comes from your mood, and it shows through in everything that you do.
It’s not something you can fake – your vibe comes from how you genuinely feel in the privacy of your own mind – and no matter how you’re acting on the outside, your vibe will reflect how you feel on the inside.
A good vibe comes from a positive mood – where you’re feeling relaxed, comfortable, and happy. If you feel good about yourself and your situation – your vibe is good.
Bad vibes come from feelings like insecurity, worrying, and anger. If you’re feeling anxious, or angry at him, or worried about your relationship – it’s going to come through in your vibe and he’ll be able to sense it.
Now – if your mood and your well-being and your sense of happiness is hinging on whether this guy responds to you or not – that’s going to give off a bad vibe that will make him want to stop texting you.
Try this test to tell what kind of vibe you’re giving off: When your interactions with him take the tone of, “I will be upset unless _____ happens” – then it’s coming from a bad vibe.
And here’s the crux of it: When you text him and it comes from a bad vibe – it will always feel like a chore or a burden for him to respond. Letting a bad vibe fester is one of the biggest mistakes that destroys relationships.
But when you text him from a good vibe – it won’t feel like a chore for him to respond, and he’ll be much more likely to text you back.
Proactive Vs. Reactive
There’s another core reason why guys suddenly stop texting back – and it has everything to do with you being proactive or reactive.
What do I mean by that? Well, when you’re being reactive – then you feel upset or hurt when he doesn’t text back. When you’re being proactive – you’re still in control – you have power and choice in the situation, and you’re not going to allow yourself to be stuck in a situation that makes you upset.
Let me give you an example: let’s say you were making plans with him and you wanted to ask him a question and he left you hanging. A reactive thing to do would be to get mad at him and send him angry texts (which would carry a bad vibe with them).
A proactive thing to do would be to make other plans, so that if he flakes on you, then you have something fun you can do without him.
If he doesn’t respond when you ask him what he wants for dinner, be proactive – get whatever you want and have that. If he complains, he could’ve told you what he wanted.
If he doesn’t let you know when he’s getting home from work, then just eat when you get hungry. Don’t just wait and get madder and madder as he doesn’t respond without taking care of yourself – that’s reactive thinking.
Instead – be proactive – roll forward and take control of what you’re doing. If he has a pattern of not getting back to you, have a backup plan. Then, if he doesn’t get back to you in time, go do plan b.
If he has a problem with you going with your plan b if he doesn’t get back to you in time, you can be sure he’s going to change his behavior and start getting back to you more promptly.
And if after all this, it’s still a problem to you that he ignores your texts – even when you make other plans for yourself – then the harsh answer is to find another guy who will treat you the way you want to be treated.
What To Do When A Guy Suddenly Stops Texting You
If a guy suddenly stops texting you, the best possible thing you can do in the moment is take a step back and focus on your vibe. One possible reason he stopped texting was because texting with you felt more like something he had to do rather than something he wanted to do. The main reason that happens is because he senses that he needed to text you back or else you would get upset. The best thing to do in this situation is relax, let go of any resentment or anger, and focus on getting in a good mood before you contact him again. That way, texting with you will feel fun to him, and he’ll want to do it organically.
Relationships Are All About Quality
A good relationship isn’t about titles, it’s not about quantity of time you spend together, or anything else on the surface.
After all, if titles made a good relationship, then every marriage would be blissful, right?
Good relationships are about the quality of your connection, and the quality of time you spend together.
When it comes down to it, the best relationships are between two people who always strive to have a good vibe with each other – which means they do everything in their power to make sure they’re in a good mood.
Sometimes, that means making choices so that you’re not left hanging – and you don’t stew in anger or resentment waiting for the other person to respond.
It’s not selfish to put your mood as your #1 priority – it’s selfless. When you do that, you make sure your vibe is always good, and when your vibe is good it will effortlessly attract love into your life.
Want to find out why he didn’t text you back? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Why Isn’t He Texting You Back” Quiz right now and find out why he’s not texting you back…
Take The Quiz: Why Isn’t He Texting You Back?
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How To Know When You’re In Love? 25 Sure Signs You’re Falling in Love
What To Do When A Guy Doesn’t Text Back
22 Giveaway Signs A Guy Likes You Through Texting
100% on point, dear!!! If a guy is as unreliable as this, a woman is much better off walking away. There are actually good men out there who are ready to be responsible, responsive, engaging and committed in a relationship.
I agree with these articles, men and women are different so we understand things and act differently
I took that quiz and it said that he’s not ignoring me on purpose whatever the reason is it’s not on purpose.We’ve been trying to plan hanging out for the past month and so far it hasn’t worked out yet. He works a lot of hours shift work, other jobs and bodybuilds so really busy schedule. I just got done with a summer job working 6 days a week and really strange hours and btween that and working out did not leave much time. Anytime one of us had time off the other one was working. We talk on FB alot (I don’t have his phone number). Now I had 4 days off before school starts back up (I work at a school). He was supposed to find out his schedule for the weekend and on when he went in Thursday night but it wasn’t out yet. Friday morning he said he didn’t know it yet but he was sure he could make time…now haven’t heard anything since and asked him Saturday if he got his schedule and no response so far so I don’t know what that means. We’ve been talking for quite a while now and since he said he wanted open communication things have been good. But now it’s frustrating that he hasn’t said anything especially for all his talk about communication. Idk if it means that even though he kept saying he wanted to hang out he really doesn’t or if he doesn’t have anytime this week after all but I wish he say something so I knew. All I know is if it continues I’m not waisting time. I’ve already had that done to me before where I waited around for someone and they canceled or just went MIA and it’s not happening again.
Totalally disagree based on my experiences. In this day & age the dude, if an honest bloke, would ring you!! If he was a lazy guy & texting was an issue, he would flick you a quick call, explain himself & tell you so. No way is stopping communication acceptable. The guy is a dud. Simple as that. Get out of town for a sporty or public crawl weekend with your mates & if he contacts & you are still keen, ring him for an explanation on the spot.
Of course a man stopping communication is acceptable. If a girl doesn’t respond in the right way any self respecting man has the option to not reply – why should he if the response is not what he wants.
I met a guy this month we met and I started liking him since the first day itself he
I’m so damn tired of reading these articles that tell you women need to walk on eggshells around men and if something bad is happening, YOU need to change. Everyone’s in a bad mood every once in a while and if the guy you’re texting is so terrified of that he feels the need to stop communication, maybe he’s just an immature douchebag.
yup, its all about the vibe it sets the mood
I have been mostly reactive in a situation like this, but I understand how I should be a little different about things. How do I change the way I react to things like this?
By always putting yourself in the first place. Not the negative kind of way… but prioritize yourself. If we react to what he said/did and let that take over our mood and well-being, then we surely aren’t being proactive because we let someone else make a negative impact on us and we won’t be able to move on.
Well, if you are waiting around for a text, I will assume that you have other, better things to do.
it could be something simple, so i think a calm, proactive approach is best.
agreed. any other way to look at it might bring a worse scenario that neither of you should have to deal with.
I deal with this all the time with my b/f. He doesn’t always have his phone around him so I can understand how he will miss the text.
I wouldn’t generally worry about something like this, however, if it has been a few hours or a day, I would start to think that something had happened.
While being proactive is the best measure to take, I will go out on a limb and say that most people are reactive to situation like this.
nothing. assume he is not interested and move along.
Easy for you to say. Are you still single?
I have noticed a different response time when I text him in a “happy” mood versus a “crabby” mood, if you can see that through text.
Do you really think that the “vibe” can be felt through the text messages?
In certain situations, yes.
I think so. It might not be as easy as face to face, but these days, attitude can be projected through text.
There are a lot of reasons, I understand that. What worries me is that it might be something bad like an accident or other bad life situation.
I tend to be a more proactive type of person. I am not going to over react because I did not get a reply to any text, that would just make no sense at all.
Can’t you just ask him why? It is possible there is a reason.
Do you think he is always going to tell you the truth?
If you can, find out the reason right? If the guy starts to act weird about it then you know there is something he is hiding.
Yea, that is usually a sign that something is amiss.
I would just wait a little bit and text in a few days like nothing happened. Maybe just start another conversation and see what happens.
These are good tips to keep you calm, but honestly, if you are going to freak out, there are other issues here.
That is the way that I look at this situation.
same here.
LOL. I do nothing. I can take a hint, but the next time I get a text from him I am all like, “what the hell, you want a reply from me NOW?”
LOL, I am guessing that the conversation does not go much further than that huh?
I have a rule. If he does NOT get back to me in under 24 hours, I will give him a week. Then I take the hint and just forget about it.
Just do not freak out. There is ALWAYS a reason. Just take it easy and try to figure out the reason and all will be good.
yeah and sometimes the reason is a dumb one.