If you’re reading this – you’re probably really frustrated because a guy you like isn’t texting you back, so I’m going to get straight to the point.
When guys say they “like” texting more than talking on the phone, the real reason why is because it’s easier to ignore a text message than it is to avoid a phone call. (It’s also part of the reason why guys don’t call back.)
I’m not saying that to be mean – I’m just trying to give you clear insight into what’s going on in his head.
Of course, there could be a million reasons why he doesn’t answer a text. I can tell you off the top of my head that there are a few common reasons why I don’t text back right away:
Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Why Isn’t He Texting You Back?
1. I wasn’t really interested in talking to her
2. I was busy at the moment
3. I was working and couldn’t look at my phone
4. I was watching sports or a movie or tv or something
5. If my phone was dead
6. I was with another girl (obviously – if I’m exclusive with someone this doesn’t apply, but if I’m just casually seeing someone then this is fair game)
7. If I didn’t have my phone on me
8. Her texts were becoming a “drain” on me and I didn’t want to feed into it
Let me explain what I mean by texts being a “drain” and how it can apply equally to both men and women.
The truth is that people don’t feel good in relationships where the other person is a drain on them.
Humans are attracted to relationships that feel good, fun, and light. Relationships that don’t burden them.
I’ll give you an example.
Have you ever had a friend who seems like they’re never happy and everything out of their mouth is a complaint?
And then they dump all that crap on you – and burden you by making it your responsibility to cheer them up and make them feel better?
These are the people you avoid in your life – because on top of you having to take care of yourself, now you have to spend your energy and effort trying to prop them up and support them too.
This is why interacting with some people feels positive – while being around other people feels negative.
When you’re with a positive person, it feels like they’re charging your batteries. They make you feel energized, happy, and, well, positive after hanging out with them!
By contrast, negative people feel like they drain your battery of charge every time you hang out with them. You feel tired, worn-out, and even depressed after hanging out. I like to call these people “Battery Drainers”.
If you want to be in a relationship where the guy is actively charging your batteries, you need to be a person that charges his.
And if you’re the kind of person who thinks, “He should want to text me back because he knows it will make me happy!” take a second and look at the converse of that statement – “If he doesn’t text me back, I won’t be happy.”
What’s going on here is: you’re making it his burden to text you back so that you’re happy – you’re making him responsible for your happiness and your emotional state,which turns him off. You’re draining his battery.
Think of it this way, why would you want him to feel pressured to text you back – like it’s a chore he has to do to make you happy? Wouldn’t you rather him genuinely want to text you back because he likes talking to you?
So that begs the question: what types of text messages do guys like to respond to?
What To Do When A Guy Doesn’t Text Back
Men like to get messages that come from a positive place and come out of a good vibe. If your vibe is good, any text you send him is going to have a good vibe attached to it. If you’re feeling worried, or angry, or insecure, or desperate – the text will stink of that negative vibe. So if he didn’t text you back, the best thing to do is to try to relax, let it go, and do things you like to do to get into a good mood before you text him again.
And listen carefully, because I’m not saying you should be “fake” around him. This isn’t about faking a good mood or faking your emotions – you should always stay 100% true to how you’re really feeling.
This is because your vibe is 100% determined by your mood – and it can’t be faked. However you’re truly feeling in the privacy of your own mind is your mood – and that will express itself through your vibe.
So how do you have a good vibe? You make sure you’re in a genuinely good mood.
As long as your text is giving off a good vibe to him, it doesn’t even really matter what it says! (And it always helps to know what to text him to start a conversation.) All that matters is that your vibe was good when you sent it, and he’ll be more likely to answer it.
Bottom line – if it feels light, carefree, fun, and most importantly, positive – he’ll want to text you back.
This is what I mean by charging his battery – a good vibe will charge his battery just like a negative vibe will drain it.
So don’t worry about the specifics of what you text him. Instead, focus on being a positive person in his life– and he will naturally want to respond to your texts.
Now, at this point, I know some women might say, “Oh, so I’m supposed to sit here and do everything for him and he gets to do whatever he wants, is that it!?!” I want to respond to that right away.
First off – I’m not trying to tell you what you want to hear – I’m giving you the most effective path to success.
This is about getting you the results you want – not changing reality into something you think “should” be happening.
You can live your life wishing something was true – but if it doesn’t line up with reality then at the end of the day you won’t be happy – because you’ll have been chasing an illusion.
I don’t indulge illusions – I live in the real world and I’m going to show you what actually works so that I can help you.
Finally, always remember this: if you’re not happy in the situation you’re in, realize that it’s a choice to engage with it on a daily basis.
If you aren’t happy with a situation, you do have the choice to walk away. You’re always in control of that decision.
But if you don’t want to walk away – if you are choosing to stay – then it makes sense to do the things that will get you the results you want.
So charge his battery, focus on your vibe, and everything else will fall into place. And if it doesn’t – then at least you know that it wasn’t the right match – and you don’t have to waste your time on a dead end… giving you the freedom to find the right guy for you.
I hope this article helped you understand what to do when a guy doesn’t text back. Your vibe is so important in situations like this, and I get a ton of questions about it, but one thing to remember is that a lot of the time you might be doing or saying things to him that are actually making him lose interest and pull away without even realizing it. If he isn’t texting you back he’s probably distancing himself from you and pulling away so I highly suggest you read this right now before it might be too late: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
Want to find out why he didn’t text you back? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Why Isn’t He Texting You Back” Quiz right now and find out why he’s not texting you back…