If you’re reading this – you’re probably really frustrated because a guy you like isn’t texting you back, so I’m going to get straight to the point.
When guys say they “like” texting more than talking on the phone, the real reason why is because it’s easier to ignore a text message than it is to avoid a phone call. (It’s also part of the reason why guys don’t call back.)
I’m not saying that to be mean – I’m just trying to give you clear insight into what’s going on in his head.
Of course, there could be a million reasons why he doesn’t answer a text. I can tell you off the top of my head that there are a few common reasons why I don’t text back right away:
Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Why Isn’t He Texting You Back?
Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Why Isn’t He Texting You Back” Quiz right now and find out why he’s not texting you back…
1. I wasn’t really interested in talking to her
2. I was busy at the moment
3. I was working and couldn’t look at my phone
4. I was watching sports or a movie or tv or something
5. If my phone was dead
6. I was with another girl (obviously – if I’m exclusive with someone this doesn’t apply, but if I’m just casually seeing someone then this is fair game)
7. If I didn’t have my phone on me
8. Her texts were becoming a “drain” on me and I didn’t want to feed into it
Let me explain what I mean by texts being a “drain” and how it can apply equally to both men and women.
The truth is that people don’t feel good in relationships where the other person is a drain on them.
Humans are attracted to relationships that feel good, fun, and light. Relationships that don’t burden them.
I’ll give you an example.
Have you ever had a friend who seems like they’re never happy and everything out of their mouth is a complaint?
And then they dump all that crap on you – and burden you by making it your responsibility to cheer them up and make them feel better?
These are the people you avoid in your life – because on top of you having to take care of yourself, now you have to spend your energy and effort trying to prop them up and support them too.
This is why interacting with some people feels positive – while being around other people feels negative.
When you’re with a positive person, it feels like they’re charging your batteries. They make you feel energized, happy, and, well, positive after hanging out with them!
By contrast, negative people feel like they drain your battery of charge every time you hang out with them. You feel tired, worn-out, and even depressed after hanging out. I like to call these people “Battery Drainers”.
If you want to be in a relationship where the guy is actively charging your batteries, you need to be a person that charges his.
And if you’re the kind of person who thinks, “He should want to text me back because he knows it will make me happy!” take a second and look at the converse of that statement – “If he doesn’t text me back, I won’t be happy.”
What’s going on here is: you’re making it his burden to text you back so that you’re happy – you’re making him responsible for your happiness and your emotional state,which turns him off. You’re draining his battery.
Think of it this way, why would you want him to feel pressured to text you back – like it’s a chore he has to do to make you happy? Wouldn’t you rather him genuinely want to text you back because he likes talking to you?
So that begs the question: what types of text messages do guys like to respond to?
What To Do When A Guy Doesn’t Text Back
Men like to get messages that come from a positive place and come out of a good vibe. If your vibe is good, any text you send him is going to have a good vibe attached to it. If you’re feeling worried, or angry, or insecure, or desperate – the text will stink of that negative vibe. So if he didn’t text you back, the best thing to do is to try to relax, let it go, and do things you like to do to get into a good mood before you text him again.
And listen carefully, because I’m not saying you should be “fake” around him. This isn’t about faking a good mood or faking your emotions – you should always stay 100% true to how you’re really feeling.
This is because your vibe is 100% determined by your mood – and it can’t be faked. However you’re truly feeling in the privacy of your own mind is your mood – and that will express itself through your vibe.
So how do you have a good vibe? You make sure you’re in a genuinely good mood.
As long as your text is giving off a good vibe to him, it doesn’t even really matter what it says! (And it always helps to know what to text him to start a conversation.) All that matters is that your vibe was good when you sent it, and he’ll be more likely to answer it.
Bottom line – if it feels light, carefree, fun, and most importantly, positive – he’ll want to text you back.
This is what I mean by charging his battery – a good vibe will charge his battery just like a negative vibe will drain it.
So don’t worry about the specifics of what you text him. Instead, focus on being a positive person in his life– and he will naturally want to respond to your texts.
Now, at this point, I know some women might say, “Oh, so I’m supposed to sit here and do everything for him and he gets to do whatever he wants, is that it!?!” I want to respond to that right away.
First off – I’m not trying to tell you what you want to hear – I’m giving you the most effective path to success.
This is about getting you the results you want – not changing reality into something you think “should” be happening.
You can live your life wishing something was true – but if it doesn’t line up with reality then at the end of the day you won’t be happy – because you’ll have been chasing an illusion.
I don’t indulge illusions – I live in the real world and I’m going to show you what actually works so that I can help you.
Finally, always remember this: if you’re not happy in the situation you’re in, realize that it’s a choice to engage with it on a daily basis.
If you aren’t happy with a situation, you do have the choice to walk away. You’re always in control of that decision.
But if you don’t want to walk away – if you are choosing to stay – then it makes sense to do the things that will get you the results you want.
So charge his battery, focus on your vibe, and everything else will fall into place. And if it doesn’t – then at least you know that it wasn’t the right match – and you don’t have to waste your time on a dead end… giving you the freedom to find the right guy for you.
I hope this article helped you understand what to do when a guy doesn’t text back. Your vibe is so important in situations like this, and I get a ton of questions about it, but one thing to remember is that a lot of the time you might be doing or saying things to him that are actually making him lose interest and pull away without even realizing it. If he isn’t texting you back he’s probably distancing himself from you and pulling away so I highly suggest you read this right now before it might be too late: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
Want to find out why he didn’t text you back? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Why Isn’t He Texting You Back” Quiz right now and find out why he’s not texting you back…
What if he takes something like 20minutes to reply?
Then goes off for two to three days
When he gets back online, he starts complaining the way you are quiet and the way you have changed?
So I’ve been having a friends with benefits relationship with this guy for almost a year. I don’t text him or call him bc I wanted him to show interest etc. After we first hooked up, he text me a couple days later wanting to hook up. Now it has turned into him messaging me whenever he wants. I’m usually down for it so we will hook up. Well we have mutual friends and we were around each other yesterday. He was being very territorial with me because there were other guys around. So he was making it clear that I was off limits… so today I text him to have a great day and that was it and it’s been two hours with no reply. Mind you. I hardly text him and this is why. When he doesn’t reply, it pisses me off lol. But then he will text me in a few days to hook up. Idk….
My boyfriend won’t answer me either I text him flirty things like “I loved holding hands with you today ” or “babe are you ok do you want me to come over and make you feel better ” or “I love you baby you can tell me anything if somethings wrong” an most of the time he answers and you know one thing leads to another (you know what I mean) But recently he hasn’t been answering me and he has went like a week without texting ANYTHING and it’s driving me crazy, any advice you got for me?
What if I text him” Are you mad at me…?” but sees my message and leaves me on seen? Should I text him again? Should I wait until he replies?
No why would you
well what if they read it
Give it a little time don’t be quick to assume smthg negative .after a little time you will see things clear and my mom always said go with your gut instinct
Seriously, I’m dying inside of this silence from my guy, have done mg best, thought texting him every time could move him to reply me, but no, mg thoughts were wrong! And now I think it’s best I let my self of the hook, because I can’t be the only struggling to make it work out.
Need your help.
So what happens when you do send a text with a good vibe and he still doesn’t respond? Give up?
how many days a week?
Yes don’t waste your time. I was talking to a guy for a month and things were moving pretty fast. He was away for business and definitely wanted to meet up when he returned. First issue, I decided to wait. But despite this he seemed like the right guy for me. We talked a few times briefly when he had time and texted very often. I struggled with believing he was real and even broke it off with him only to be stupid and run back. Shortly he starting showin less insterest in texting more frequent. And literally didn’t text me back for almost four days. So I did the same irritated by that and didn’t text him back. Me being too involved in him I sent a text asking when he was coming back because the plan was to take leave from work when he did. I haven’t heard back. I was looking through my leave and was about to send him a text but I landed on this site. I completely agree with this site but I think people should stop being whimps and just tell someone they’re moving on or whateve the case maybe. I allowed myself to get way too emotionally involved with this guy only to rehabilitate myself. Save you time. Guard your heart and realize the signs of them moving on. It’s not ok for people to bring people along emotionally just to leave them hanging. We’re all adults. Realize your worth and what you deserve and know when to move on.
I had sex it’s a a guy after not knowing him that well and he won’t text me back back like he used
I met a guy on social media this the first time i accept and entertain guy in my whole life. On ourc1st date i had sex with him and everything is ok he even told me that there will be a 2nd date but after that he never texted me like he use to do. I didnt txt him to find out the reason. Instead i just convince myself that its over. Honestly i felt that i lost my self worrh.before our 1st date we had a good conversation and plans after our 1st daate. Is it ok fir me to txt and let him know what i sm feelung right now?or just let it be like that? I always saw him online but i dont even had a guts to txt him instead i was the one hiding from him.
Listen Jenna don’t be fooled sweetie. This guy got what he wanted on the first date.. A plain truth..im sorry you had to undergo all that but it’s a lesson. Know your worth and position in someone’s heart and life. XoXo
If a guy don’t text back I will stop sending him messages
when ur text yr boyfriend he don’t reply maybe his online, ur trying call him he don’t reply. what he really think abt u sometimes 3weeks or so… is he still interested on you?
just take it as he’s not that interested and move along
Just be patient, he could be busy!
Busy with what? I am not talking no reply in 4 minutes, I mean that I have been waiting a day.
I think the first thing you need to do is take a breath. Then be proactive in your approach to finding out why he didn’t get back to you. That is much safer than flying off the hook and just assuming something.
If I guy does not text you back, there could be an emergency, don’t you think?
Can you always believe what a guy has to say about “not texting you back”? It would take me a little investigating to make sure there was nothing funny going on.
I have trust issues, so the first thing I do is freak out and start to assume that there is something else going on with him.
I just keep waiting and after a day or so, I can take the hint.
I would do the same thing. I am not going to waste time wondering.
I tend to plug my phone in later in the night so I can get some relax time and I might miss a text or two at that point.
There is something that I always do when a reply does not come back to me. I just attach a photo to the next text :) That usually strikes the conversation up again!
THAT is a great idea! I bet that would get his attention LOL.
Very nice idea. I am going to give this a try.
Some of these reasons are OK and they can be used by anyone. But if you are always texting throughout the day and all of a sudden there is nothing, it might make me wonder.
I always looked at it like this, if I do not have a reason to text him and requires a response, I do not send the text. I have never had an issue with replies from guys.
Good point. It will not work this way all the time, but I can still see your point.
A lot of times, my friends freak out about this and most of the time for me, I have the phone plugged in and its in another room as it charges.
So that could be what is happening with your man? Or maybe he is in the shower or taking the dog outside to go to the bathroom. It only takes a few seconds to miss a call or text.
Well, the first piece of advice that I would give is to NOT freak out. I know texting is the new talking these days, but there is no reason that you cannot wait for a reply.
So what? If I guy is not going to text me back within 24 hours, then I will see him when I see him. No time to waste with things like that.
I feel the same way. I used to dwell on things like this until I realized it was such a waste of time. Good luck to you out there!
Well, any person would get annoyed if there are texts coming in every 5 minutes, don’t you think?
I know I would be.
When I do not text a girl back, there is a good reason. The worst reason is that I am really not interested. That would have been nice to figure out BEFORE I gave out my phone number.
That is good to know David, however there are times that the lady needs to know if anything is going on that is causing you to miss getting back to her.
I think the worst would be that he is with someone else at the same time. That stuff just hurts when you find out and most of the time, you do not find out soon enough.
I freak out if he does not get back to me in like 10 minutes. Right away I am thinking that he got hurt or something bad like that.
I think it comes down to how long you have been waiting. A couple of minutes is nothing to worry about. He might be busy, like it says on this list.
Well, people freak out way too quickly these days, don’t you think?