Here’s how to bring him back if he’s acting cold, distant or withdrawn completely.
Have you ever been in a relationship where everything is great for a while, but then he just starts distancing himself, emotionally? It’s confusing and distressing, and the knee-jerk reaction is to freak out.
But freaking out will 100% make it worse, so that’s not the solution, here. Your increasingly desperate emotional outbursts will push him even farther away from you. So, you know you can make him pull away, but can you also bring him back?
Yes, you can!
But in order to figure out how, you first have to think about what is causing him to act like this, what he is feeling, and how you can undo the damage.
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Why Is He Distancing Himself?
You can definitely feel that things have been different lately, but still, he insists that there is nothing wrong and he is not feeling strange, in any way. That, in itself, is a problem. Here’s why he might be avoiding this discussion:
- He’s stressed out about other stuff – Think about other aspects of his life – are they at all stressful? His family? His work? Maybe this isn’t about you at all, and actually about him withdrawing because he’s going through something.
- He’s confused about his feelings – Feelings aren’t static, so they change and transform all the time. He knows he’s feeling… different, but he doesn’t know how or why just yet, so he’s taking some time to figure himself out.
- He doesn’t want you to overreact – There’s something on his mind, but it’s not a huge problem and he doesn’t want you to make a big deal out of it or start a fight. He’s trying to figure out how to tell you.
Here Is Why He Is Pushing You Away
He feels like you are putting pressure on him to settle down
It’s important for guys to be able to feel independent and free, even while they’re in a relationship. That doesn’t mean that he wants to be free to spend intimate time with other ladies, but that he needs to feel in control of his own life, just like you.
And that need of independence can quickly turn into restlessness, resentment, and fear when the woman he’s with won’t stop pressuring him into settling down. Let’s move in together! Let’s get married! Let’s have children! Let’s join the family! Let’s buy a house!
These are all major life decisions and he wants to arrive at them independently. And that’s what you should want, too. I know you’re excited and that you might be getting impatient and anxious about running out of time, but think about it – do you want a guy to get serious with you against his will, because you pressured him, or because HE wants you?
He’s not as into you as he thought he was
When relationships work out, that’s great. But sometimes, after that initial period of butterflies and giggles, and animalistic sex, things just don’t feel… right, or like they’re enough to keep you together.
At times, it happens that we think we’re into someone, only to realize, months later, that we were mistaken. The match is not fulfilling, and we need to reconsider the entire relationship. Just like it happens to you, it can happen to him.
And if he is having these feelings, then it’s natural for him to withdraw in order to sort out what he is thinking and feeling. Is he just scared? Does he like you? Does he want to be with you?
If you want to improve your chances during this time, you’ll leave him alone to sort himself out. He’ll come around eventually. If you push and prod, and question him incessantly, however, that will make his decision to leave that much easier.
He feels like you take everything too seriously
If there is one thing that turns men off and scares them away is when women seem to be very emotional, for reasons they do not understand. He feels like you take a lot of things very seriously and are always thinking about the future and where the relationship is going, and he’s just trying to enjoy himself, and enjoy you and what you have together.
Think about it like this – it’s normal to want to know whether you have a future together or not, especially if you have personal goals like marriage or children, but don’t forget to live in the moment, enjoy each other and don’t push for steps you are not ready for, as a couple. You have to crawl before you can walk, so maybe start by asking for a drawer at his place and staying overnight during the weekends before planning to move in together.
And if he is not ready for something and you get upset and cry, or yell, or pick a fight… he’s going to get scared of that and pull away. He doesn’t want drama and he doesn’t want someone who will have what he views as an emotional breakdown every time he asks to go slowly.
How Can You Bring Him Back?
But if he’s started pulling away from you, can you undo whatever caused this emotional separation? Can you make him want to come back, and actually bring him even closer than he was before?
Yes, you can, indeed. But it will never be by calling incessantly, texting, or showing up at his door. It won’t be with “I love you” messages, and it won’t be with crying in his voicemails asking why he won’t talk to you.
What you need to do is take the time to understand what makes him tick. The basic concept is excessively simple, actually:
The more you push, the more he pulls away.
That’s it, that’s all you need to know. The cycle goes like this: he distances himself emotionally, you panic and cling closer to him to try to get him to close the gap again, and he, in turn, pulls even further away.
Instead of reacting emotionally, think about it logically: why does someone pull away? In a relationship? On the bus? While sitting on a sofa?
Because they need space. Physical or emotional.
And what happens, logically, when someone fails to respect this space, and insists on getting closer to the person who pulled away? The person will pull even further away, because – and listen to this part carefully – he still needs the space he took in the first place!
It makes sense, right? His need doesn’t go away, just because you chased him into his corner.
So, in order to not actively push him even farther away, all you need to do is respect his space. That’s it. Don’t do anything. Don’t react. Don’t cry, yell, or even pout. Don’t ask questions. Just let him be, while you go about your own business. Your life doesn’t stop here.
Once he’s had the time and space he needs to figure himself out, he a) will appreciate that you were a well-adjusted adult and respected his needs, and b) will come back to you feeling more confident in his choice and in himself.
He will now actually be ready for whatever commitment he makes to you, because he’s had time to think about it and about what he wants from this relationship. He will feel good about committing to you, because he wants it and he is proud of it. He made the decision, and you are the woman that he picked. He doesn’t have doubts.
Now, doesn’t that make you feel a thousand times better about yourself than nagging him to death about committing, and him reluctantly following suit?
This article shows you what to do if you sense him pulling away, now in any relationship I’ve found there are 2 pivotal moments that determine if your relationship ends in heartbreak or you get to live happily ever after so it’s vitally important that you take the next step and read this right now, because at some point the man you want is going to ask himself: Is this the woman I should commit to for the long term? That answer determines everything… Do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material (the type of woman he commits himself to) or if he sees you as just a fling? If not you need to read this next: The #1 Thing Men Desire In A Woman…
The second problem almost all women experience: At some point he starts to lose interest. He doesn’t call you back or he becomes emotionally closed off. He seems like he’s losing interest or pulling away – do you know what to do? If not you’re putting your relationship and the future of your love life in great danger, read this now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
Want to find out if you can get your ex back? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can ever get him back or if he’s gone for good…