The Top 5 Signs That Your Ex Wants You Back

The Top 5 Signs That Your Ex Wants You Back

There’s a big difference between your ex still having feelings for you and him actually wanting you back. In a lot of cases, he might still really care about you… and still think that you shouldn’t get back together.

So that’s why I decided to write this article: the signs your ex wants to get back together with you. This will give you the signs that he truly wants to get back together with you – not just the signs that he still cares about you.

You’ll get 5 top signs he wants you back, plus exactly what you should do in each situation to maximize your chances of getting back together with him.

Now, a lot of people come here wondering if their ex wants them back because they’d like to know whether or not they’ll be able to get back into a relationship with their ex.

I’ve included a quiz here that will tell you how good your chances are to get back together with your ex.

(Don’t worry, you can come back to it later too.)

1. Reminiscing With You About Good Memories

If your ex is bringing up good memories that you two had together while you were in a relationship, that’s an excellent sign for your chances to get him back and keep him.

Not only does it tell you that he’s been thinking about your relationship, it tells you that he’s been actively missing you while you were gone.

It’s a huge giveaway that he still has major feelings for you, and that he’s been thinking about acting on them and getting back together with you.

How Should You Respond?

This is something you definitely want to see from him – so you should encourage it. After all, if he’s reminiscing about you, it’s making him miss you more… which is something you definitely want.

Let’s say he texts you and says:

“I just remembered when we went camping last summer. I still can’t believe the tent fell down in the middle of the night, we had a lot of fun :)”

MORE: How To Tell If Your Ex Wants You Back

Here’s exactly how to text him back:

“That was so much fun, I remember you sprung into action and fixed it really quickly even though it was so dark out. I just went camping last weekend with a friend, it was so much fun we hiked everywhere lol”

Not only are you rewarding him for reminiscing about your relationship (by complimenting him), you’re also showing him that you’re having fun and living your life without him. By showing him that you’re not relying on him for your happiness, it makes you more attractive in his eyes.

Obviously, a little of that goes a long way, so don’t lay it on too thick or he’ll see through it and get turned off.

And if you’re looking for more perfect responses in case your ex texts you, check out this article I wrote on the subject.

2. Working On Himself

When your ex is taking the time to make himself better, it’s a good sign that he’s matured from the experience of the breakup and is focusing on becoming a better man.

And if he’s focused his efforts on the parts of himself that contributed to the breakup in the first place – that’s very good news.

It means that not only has he recognized that he played a role in the breakup, but also that he regrets it, and wants to make sure it doesn’t happen again in the future (i.e. with you).

Lots of guys find themselves in a rut after a relationship ends – same as women. It’s especially hard when you’re basing a lot of your self-worth and self-esteem on the opinion of another person… only to have it disappear from your life almost overnight.

It’s enough to send most people into an introspective place, and a lot of guys deal with that by identifying things about themselves that they don’t like and working on them.

MORE: The Exact Things Men Do When They Want To Get Back Together

It’s the natural instinct to find ways to feel good about yourself again, especially after a major emotional support in your life drops away.

That’s why it’s important to look at the ways he’s trying to improve himself. Is he just working on himself in a general way? Or is it more targeted?

It’s a very good sign for your future prospects with him if he’s working on something that you didn’t like or something that directly contributed to the breakup. That shows that he saw the problem and that he’s working to fix it – presumably to make a relationship possible with you again.

Of course, he might just be doing it for himself and for his future relationships, but if he’s working on something you’ve specifically complained about, or something that specifically drove you two apart, it’s a good sign that he regrets that the relationship ended and that he wants to get back together.

(And remember – this is something you should be doing as well while following the no contact rule).

How Should You Respond?

Since this is just him working on himself, you don’t really need to respond or insert yourself into the situation at all. If he comes to you and fills you in on the work he’s been doing, you should definitely give him encouragement, since you want him to keep doing it. Just avoid coming off as desperate or needy by giving him too much praise and you should be fine.

3. He Brings Up The Future With You

This is probably the biggest sign that he wants to get back together with you.

If he talks about his future with you, and you’re in it, it means he’s definitely planning on getting back together with you.

How Should You Respond?

Simple – give him back exactly what he’s giving to you. If he’s talking about a future with you, you can tell him about a future you see with him.

Obviously, if you go overboard and start talking about having kids with him when he’s talking about the summer, you’re going to scare him off (and come off as totally desperate).

Just show enthusiasm and tell him you’re looking forward to whatever it is he’s talking about in the future with you (like hanging out during the summer or going to a big event together).

4. Going Over The Things That Lead To Your Breakup

If your ex wants to talk through all the things that went wrong in your relationship – it means he’s putting thought and empathy towards figuring out what he could have done better.

Obviously, if he just wants to hurl blame and negativity at you, it’s a bad sign. That means he’s not over the breakup and he still feels super bitter towards you – not an encouraging sign he wants to get back together. Plus, it means he’s immaturely trying to feel better about the breakup and about himself by blaming you.

Instead, if he’s talking through the things that went wrong in the relationship and led to the breakup, without blame, bitterness, or anger, it’s a sign he’s trying to gain perspective and understand the roles that both of you played in the breakup, so that he can mature as a person and avoid those mistakes in the future.

How Should You Respond?

Reciprocate. You can respond and engage with the issues he’s presenting you with – just don’t start the blame game and bring bitterness into the mix, because that will surely turn him off and drive him away (especially if he’s sincerely trying to talk about why the relationship fell apart).

Follow this rule: don’t focus on bringing up things he did wrong. In fact, don’t really focus on his shortcomings in the relationship at all. Instead, just engage with what he’s bringing to the table, and focus on being positive. If you can have a positive conversation about the real reasons your relationship fell apart, it brings you one step closer to getting back together.

5. He’s Being Secretive About His Dating Life

Obviously, some people are just more withdrawn and private than others. But one of the biggest reasons that he would hide his current dating life from you is if he wants to get back together with you eventually.

It’s not a guaranteed sign he wants you back, but taken with other signs, him hiding his dating life from you is a positive development for your prospects of reconciling with him. However, if he’s not dating anyone at all, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s waiting to get back together with you – it might mean he just wants to be single for a while.

Plus, even if he is dating someone, it might just be a rebound relationship – not the real thing. For more information on what is and isn’t a rebound relationship, you can read my article here.

How Should You Respond?

Simple. Stay out of his life, and don’t try to pry or snoop into what he’s doing.

That means avoiding his social media, and definitely never trying to “accidentally” bump into him, while he’s on a date or otherwise. There are plenty of things you can be doing while you’re recovering from your breakup (like the no contact rule) to give you a better chance of getting back together with him – stalking him is not one of them.

I hope this article helped you understand the signs to look for that your ex wants you back. I just want to ask you one more question: Do you want your ex back? If so, you need to read about this secret formula to get your ex back in your arms for good. This will reveal how to not only get him back, but get him to see you as “the one” and keep him for good. You don’t want to miss this and miss your chance with him forever, read this now: Do You Want Your Ex Back? Use This To Get Them Back…

By the way, here’s the quiz from earlier that tells you what your chances are of getting back together with your ex, in case you missed it before.

Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?

In summary…

The Top Signs Your Ex Wants You Back

  1. Reminiscing with you about good memories
  2. Working on himself
  3. He brings up the future with you
  4. Going over the things that lead to your breakup
  5. He’s being secretive about his dating life

signs your ex wants you back

39 comments… add one
  • susan January 8, 2018, 2:25 am

    he says he has our best interest at heart…..and says that he still cares for me

  • susan January 8, 2018, 2:18 am

    we still talking though…..and promises to be always there for me

  • susan January 8, 2018, 2:17 am

    my boyfriend just broke up with me…..we have been dating for 3yrs… his reason is that he wants to focus on himself first and wants to be alone…but he says he wont date again because he is tired of love…..i love him and this really hurts me….i miss him so much….is there any hope that one day he will come back??

  • Kimba M. Wiggins (@KimbaWiggins1) December 10, 2017, 12:28 pm

    My ex has done this, but I would never take him back. His insane insecurity and jealousness led to the demise of our relationship and he’d bring up the past over and over again. I’m in a caring loving relationship with someone that treats me with dignity and respect…that doesn’t throw my past in my face. He contacted me on YouTube this past October but I ignored him.

  • susan November 5, 2017, 4:37 am

    We have not seen each other in 25years. We will see each other for the first time at our class reunion.we were however facebook friends and chat so every now and then.Now we’re both not sure how to react.We are exited…he remembers my birthday ,the date we started dating,my personallity…our last date….we both both remember things as if it was yesterday…

  • susan November 5, 2017, 4:30 am

    we agree on a lot of things when we talk. we both are now more mature and we both went through a lot…but manage somehow to survive

  • dema March 29, 2017, 4:20 am

    my boyfriend broke up with me one month ago. he was telling me that his father have arranged a girl for him. he was just ignoring me and my text too. so one month before i text him telling him that i will never text him and never appear infront of him. i told him that i will never forgive him. i also wrote that i will not talk with him & told him that happy life ahead. he didn’t respond to my text also and since then we never met. so i don’t know whether he is missing me or not. i unfriend him from facebook and deleted his number. i really miss him and i can’t forget him. sometime i hate him because he betrayed me. i don’t know how to react if i happen to meet. so what shall i di if i happen to meet him accidently?

  • Twinkle December 7, 2016, 7:50 am

    My boyfriend broke up 3 months back and even blocked me from social sites since more than a month he is single but happy a lot in his life he told my friends and even me if he moves on it will be someone else and he won’t turn back to me ever again I really love him and wish he comes back but no sign

  • Mwelzy November 23, 2016, 11:10 am

    My boyfriend and I dated for 3 years , we broke up beginning of October and on 11/19 he is already engaged to someone he barely knows . I feel so hurt and betrayed by him plus I found this out through social media and friends

  • carlyn June 24, 2016, 6:13 pm

    even if he does all these and confirms that he wants you back..u need to make the decision. dont drag urself into a relationship just because u think he’s changed now. do what u want and be w/ someone u love and who will love u

  • jackie June 23, 2016, 7:24 pm

    ive been seeing him improve esp on his career so im not sure if getting back together is a smart move

  • estrella June 22, 2016, 1:39 pm

    he does text me about some good memories we had but im not so sure if im ready 2 even consider getting back together

  • neneng June 21, 2016, 6:22 pm

    this is true..i was also like this when i broke up w/ my ex

  • abi June 20, 2016, 12:49 pm

    BINGO!! thx 4 confirming haha

  • aria June 17, 2016, 1:04 pm

    cute! iv seen all these, now i know

  • liliana June 16, 2016, 7:31 pm

    now i see how hard he tries 2 bring up d future together..but im almost over him already & i dont think i wana get back 2gether anymore

  • kimberly June 15, 2016, 4:36 pm

    i saw all these signs when we broke up but it was too late..i thought it was a waste of time getting back to him cos he wont change anyway

  • rhodora June 14, 2016, 12:53 pm

    i felt that too when he was trying to go through our breakup
    at 1st i thought it was just 1 of those casual conversations but then i realized..ther’s sumthin more into it

  • mervie June 13, 2016, 12:59 pm

    luv this us a peek of how men thinks and process things

  • juvileine June 10, 2016, 1:42 pm

    this is such a happy post, i luv reading romantic yet real stuff like this

  • linabelle June 9, 2016, 12:17 pm

    dont get too excited though..make sure u had enuf time to thin about ur relationship & how u wna go about things this time.

  • joyceekate June 8, 2016, 4:43 pm

    when he reminisces about d past, thats it! better b ready 2 make ur decision whether u wnt to get back together or not really

  • emeriza June 8, 2016, 12:50 am

    haha i remember exactly when i was in this situation, ugh i hate guessing games

  • phyllis June 3, 2016, 2:40 pm

    haha such an exciting thing to read!

  • antonia June 2, 2016, 11:44 am

    yup, u nailed it! very true

  • marcellina May 31, 2016, 4:15 pm

    oh this R all legit! i know bec i hav been the one who never moved on.. haha

  • iman May 27, 2016, 4:58 pm

    oh yeah, i knw these signs too well

  • logan May 26, 2016, 7:57 pm

    luvin it! i jst wish im not putting my hopes too high

  • leilani May 24, 2016, 4:40 pm

    all ur signs are correct, iv seen all these from my ex

  • iris May 23, 2016, 5:45 pm

    well…we once went over to what happened in our relatiuonship but no sign of him wnating to get back to me ):

  • mackenzie May 20, 2016, 3:44 pm

    oh, i knw this stuff! i just knw when he starts texting me & try 2 reminisce about us..definitely d 1st sign!! haha

  • jennylyn May 19, 2016, 6:12 pm

    sweeeet!! i luv reading stuff like this
    makes me all excited

  • ali May 18, 2016, 7:03 pm

    luv this article, i wud also luv 4 him 2 show me these signs.. *sigh

  • adriana May 18, 2016, 12:54 pm

    we sure dnt need lectures about this coz we ladies defo know this stuff.. haha

  • mila May 16, 2016, 2:35 pm

    i wud luv 4a guy 2 go over the breakup and reconcile coz most men wud only want to move on & not settle past issues and then……. history repeats itself *tsk

  • kasandra May 13, 2016, 1:20 pm

    even if we dont end up getting back together, i would like 2 see him work on himself 4d better

  • irish May 13, 2016, 6:04 am

    he nver mentions bout d future b4 but now that hes tryin 2 win me back, he always does

  • maddie23 May 12, 2016, 10:10 am

    ill send this 2my girl, she keeps asking me the same things haha

  • irene May 11, 2016, 4:13 am

    when he brings up the past & sound so giddy..u know he wants u back

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