Remember “Mr. Big” from Sex & the City? Well, lots of women want to find their “Mr. Big,” or “Mr. Right.”
Problem is… relationships are messy, painful rollercoasters full of ups, downs and in-between’s.
It’s actually crazy how much pain relationships can cause. The kind of pain that steals a part of you and makes your entire life feel like it’s falling apart.
I’ve been in enough terrible relationships to know just how bad dating the wrong guy can be. I’m sick of it, and I’m not going to waste my time anymore.
The problem is, when you’re single for long enough, you abandon your standards. It’s almost as if the longer you’re single, the lower your standards drop. That’s when waiting for Mr. Right becomes waiting for Mr. Good Enough. Eventually, Mr. Good Enough becomes waiting for Mr. At Least He Has All His Teeth.
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And that’s just plain wrong. It’s such a destructive cycle.
Why? Well, because if you’re going to drop your standards by that much, you’re going to wind up going out with some pretty horrible dudes. And those dudes are going to waste your time, make you feel like crap, and screw up your love life (and your life.)
Sure, it might seem like bad advice to “just wait for the right guy,” especially if you’re sick and tired of waiting and being single. Trust me, I completely understand how hard it can be to be alone.
One thing, though. If you’ve been waiting forever for the right guy and still haven’t found him, you might not be looking for the right things in a long term mate.
I mean, sure, it would be amazing to find a guy who loves to give foot massages, watch Downton Abbey, and go dress shopping… but if you’re waiting on him you might as well be waiting on the tooth fairy too.
Truth is, if your idea of the perfect guy revolves around his tastes, what he does for fun, and the stuff you want to have in common with him, you might be waiting a very long time – and there’s no guarantee that he’s a good guy even if you find him.
That’s why I decided to reevaluate what I was looking for in a guy.
I wanted to cut it down to the top 4 things that every guy should be able to give to a woman, at minimum. If he doesn’t have these 4 things, he’s not worth your time.
And if you find a guy you click with who also has these 4 qualities – look out. You might have just found Mr. Right aka your “soul mate,” regardless of what his favorite TV show is.
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1. He’s Upfront With You
Here’s what I mean: he communicates directly with you and doesn’t try to hide anything or leave anything vague.
If you find yourself wondering what his intentions are – he’s not being a gentleman. A real man would communicate exactly what he’s looking for with you… and leave it up to you to decide what you think about it.
He should be honest, upfront, and straightforward about any issues between you. A man that communicates with his woman well is a man worth holding onto.
2. He Encourages You
One of the worst personality traits I’ve ever seen in a man is when they’re so insecure about having you that they feel like they have to degrade you and tear you down in order to keep you.
If he doesn’t encourage you and compliment you, why are you even with him?
A man should be someone who’s always there for you – who wants you to succeed and become the best version of yourself that you can possibly be.
If he’s not on board with that, why are you on board with him?
3. He Respects You
Honestly, this is a no brainer.
If he’s a real man at all he’s going to demonstrate his respect for you in every interaction he has with you.
That means never belittling you. It means never putting you down or making you feel small.
It means thinking about your feelings before he says or does something – and if he fails at doing that, recognizing it and apologizing for his mistake.
Respect isn’t a gift, it’s not a special effort – it’s basic human decency. It’s your right to demand to be treated with respect. If he doesn’t it’s time to move on.
4. He’s Honest With You
This one is another super simple one.
Real relationships are built on mutual trust and honesty. Trust comes slowly, it’s built on repeated acts of loyalty and respect.
But honesty is straightforward.
Honesty means that he’s not going to lie to you. It means that he’s not going to put you in a position where you feel jealous or feel weirded out by his behavior.
It means he’s going to extend the same trust and honesty to you that you extend to him.
This isn’t just something that’s important – it’s mandatory. If you can’t be honest and trust each other, what’s the point?
Regardless of whether you’re compatible, regardless of what kind of TV and movies he likes, regardless of whether you like the same kinds of food or not – these 4 qualities are mandatory in a man who has real potential.
If you want a relationship that lasts… a relationship that has the potential to stand the test of time, then you don’t just want these qualities in a man, you deserve them.
And when you find a man with them, you’ll discover that the superficial stuff about who likes what kind of whatever wasn’t ever that important in the first place.
Until next time,
P.S. It’s true, every woman deserves these 4 things from a guy, but if you’re not compatible with him, then the relationship won’t work out anyway.
Compatibility is the #1 most important predictor of relationship success between two people. If you’re compatible – you’re golden. If you’re not…
What do you think about these traits? Leave your comments below!
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Every Woman Deserves These 4 Things From A Man
- He’s upfront with you
- He encourages you
- He respects you
- He’s honest with you