Exactly How To Make Your Ex Miss You After A Breakup

Exactly How To Make Your Ex Miss You After A Breakup

If you’re looking for ways to make your ex-boyfriend miss you, that probably means that ultimately you want to get back together with him.

Makes sense, right? After all, if he misses you, that feeling should make him want to get back together with you.

Unfortunately, in reality just having him miss you isn’t enough. If you really want to get him back and keep him for good, it takes more than him feeling sad that you’re not together anymore.

Now, I don’t want you to take what I am saying the wrong way. You certainly must make him miss you if you ever want to get him to try to win you back, but it takes more than that to get him back and keep him for good.

Think of it like a formula. In order to get the result you want, you have to do the entire formula not just parts.

If you only tried to make him miss you but didn’t do anything else, you wouldn’t end up getting back together with him.

I’ve always been extremely skeptical of anything that isn’t backed by scientific evidence and proof. As a dating and relationship coach, I help a lot of women get their ex back and constantly read all the psychological and scientific studies backing up what works to get your ex back. I don’t like to leave things up to chance.

Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?

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Leaving things up to chance means that you hope that something will happen, but you don’t have any tangible proof that it will go the way you want it to.

That’s not the way I do things. The only things I recommend are the proven, effective strategies that not only get your ex back but let you keep him for good.

I wouldn’t feel right giving you information without knowing for a fact that it’s been scientifically proven and is backed by a load of evidence. I never give advice based on theories without feeling confident that it’ll work for you. That is why I am so intrigued by all the scientific literature related to reconciliation with an ex.

I’ve learned so much and made so many key realizations because of all my research…

… and I’m going to share with you right now exactly what to do to get your ex back and keep him for good.

In fact…

You’re Starting Out Way Ahead Of The Game

What do I mean by that? I mean you’ve got a huge advantage already, and you might not even know it.

And shockingly enough, it’s very related to going through withdrawal.

What does drug withdrawal have to do with a breakup? Mentally, breakups are actually very similar to how it feels when you quit a drug, and go through withdrawal. Drugs stimulate the pleasure center of the brain, increasing the amount of dopamine and making you feel a general sense of euphoria.

When you quit the drug, you feel a profound low. You might feel lethargic, like you have no energy and no real spring in your step. You might see pictures of your ex boyfriend or be driving, hear a song on the radio and end up crying in a ball of tears… a general sense of sadness might make your entire body hurt when you even think of the breakup. Anything that reminds you of him will bring up this overwhelming sadness and possibly even regret.

All of these reactions can actually be explained by science, by this opposite reaction to the euphoria you experienced while in the relationship.

Loveis actually like an addiction. It’s been scientifically linked.

This is just one scientific theory, but there’s more where that came from!

Here’s another:

There Is A 90% Chance That Your Boyfriend Already Misses You

How could I be so sure about that? I’ll tell you in one second.

First, I want to talk about something that a lot of women worry about after a breakup. They worry that they’re obsessing over the relationship too much, that they’ve somehow crossed some invisible boundary and are abnormally sad about the end of the relationship.

The truth? Nope. It’s not abnormal at all. In fact, it’s extremely common to feel very sad and fixate on the breakup after a relationship, and the vast majority of people go through it.

Which means what? It means your ex is also almost certainly thinking about you! That’s the beauty of understanding universal human reactions to a breakup. It gives you insight into the same processhe is going through. It is not only you.

Now, we do not know exactlywhat he is thinking. He could be thinking good or bad things.

But the fact that he is thinking about you means it’s possible (and even likely) that he is even missing you.

Another thing you need to know… missing your ex or thinking about your ex does not magically stop just because someone enters a relationship. So if you’re in a relationship right now, you might still miss your ex. Same goes for him (especially if it’s a rebound relationship).

Now, let’s get back to that 90% chance I was talking about. How can I make that claim?

Because it’s backed up by scientific studies and cold hard facts.

Have you ever stalked your ex’s Instagram or Facebook, trying to find out whether he has a new girlfriend, what she looks like and what they are up to? Have you done this with an overwhelming sense of panic mixed with an unexplainable curiosity? Do you only end up more upset and frustrated in the end?

Even in my own life… I admit, I have done this. I recall how I acted after a bad breakup with a girl I really loved. I would check her social media, trying to figure out how she was doing. I wanted to know what was going on with her.

You are not alone. In fact, this study (1) shows that 90% of people wind up secretly spying on their ex through social media. What does this mean? Well… it means there’s a 90% chance that your ex-boyfriend is going to be secretly checking your social media – and missing you more and more.

The point is…

You’ve Got A Huge Advantage Already

Even if you are broken up, in all likelihood (based on science) your ex probably still has you on his mind… often.

And if your ex has you on his mind often… you can use this to get an advantage, correct?

Yep. This is what is going to put you in the position of power when it comes to making your ex miss you. Since he already has you on his mind… so this puts you in an excellent position since it’s not going to even be too difficult to get him to desperately miss you.

So wait… does this make it super simple to make your ex miss you?

Uh, well… no, not exactly.

There are many things you need to do in order to accomplish this.

But here is the main point I am trying to get across.

At the moment, your ex has you on his mind way too often. So let’s take this baseline and think about what would happen if you add an expert’s advice on top of this. Making your ex boyfriend miss you should be super easy, right?

Before we get to that and I explain the formula for making him miss you I have to give you a key understanding so that you maximize your shot of success.

The Most Important Thing That Makes or Breaks Whether Your Ex Misses You

What determines whether or not your ex-boyfriend misses you?

The nature of the time you spent with him is going to play a huge role in whether or not he wants to get back together with you. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I am not going to lie to you because I want you to truly know what’s going on (rather than give you false hope).

If the nature of the time you spent with him during your relationship was miserable and unhappy, the chances of him wanting to get back together with you are lower. On the flip side, if you had an amazing relationship, it’s more likely that he does want to get back together.

Who Broke Up With Who?

This is another huge factor when trying to assess whether he will want to get back together. This is another point I want to make before getting into the actual “formula” of what to do in order to get your ex back.

If you broke up with him your shot of getting him back is higher than if he broke up with you. Why? Because people inherently want what they can’t have. If he had you and you ended the relationship, he will be left wanting more.

In particular, if you broke up with him and it was something he 100% did not want to happen… you are going to definitely have an advantage in this situation. He is going to feel like he was powerless over losing you and will want to get back together with you. It is human instinct. If something we like is taken away from us, we want it back.

Kind of like if you are on diet: you feel deprived of something you love and enjoy. If you are staring at a piece of cake and know you can’t have it, you want it more than if you can freely eat all the cake you want. It’s an even stronger force when you’ve broken up with someone who wants to stay together with you… because the lack of cake is a self-imposed restriction, whereas someone breaking up with you when you do not want them to is not self-imposed. So if you broke up with him and he did not want you to… this is an advantage.

That is, unless … he was unfaithful, betrayed you and this caused you to break up with him. If he cheated on you (or if you cheated on him) it means the relationship wasn’t headed in a good direction. Cheating means there were fundamental problems in the relationship and the quality of time you spent together probably wasn’t that great.

But even still, this plan can work. So pay attention to the formula, which I will reveal right now! It has four phases.

How To Make Your Ex-Boyfriend Miss You

  1. Phase 1: Do Not Contact Him
  2. Phase 2: Work On Becoming Your Best Self
  3. Phase 3: Create Envy By Being Open To Other Men
  4. Phase 4: Let Him Miss You And Come Back To You

how to make your ex-boyfriend miss you

Phase 1: Don’t Contact Him

This is essential. If you are constantly texting him, telling him how much you miss him and how much you love him… this will backfire. There is absolutely nothing worse than persistently trying to talk to your ex right after a breakup.

Think about it. The negative feelings and emotions at the end of a relationship overwhelm everything else, forcing the couple to break up. If you don’t give talking to each other a break after a relationship ends, then you both are constantly reminded of those ‘end of the relationship’ negative feelings and emotions.

You have to give him a chance to forget the trauma and negativity of the end of the relationship before you talk to him again, or all he’ll be able to think about is how bad he felt at the end of the relationship (and then attach all those bad feelings to you).

It’s hard to miss someone who is constantly in your face, trying to contact you. Give him room to miss you. Truly. This is so important. Without this phase, nothing will work.

You must give him room to miss you. If you are not making yourself actively available to him, he will start to want what he cannot have. People want what is out of their reach. This is key when it comes to making your ex miss you and ultimately getting him back.

I know “no contact” can be hard, especially if you have the instinct to call or text your ex. I understand how hard it can be to control yourself when you are in an emotional state and you miss him a lot and just want to reach out. But trust me, following “no contact” is worth the benefits you will get in the long run (making it possible to get back together with him). It is absolutely essential to stop contacting him and never, ever plead with him to get back together.

If you have already done this up to this point, it’s not the best situation, but it can be fixed if you stop right now and follow this formula, which leads me to the next phase…

Phase 2: Become Your Best Self

This has subcategories with it, so let’s get started.

Make Fitness a Top Priority

Now, I want to make this very clear: I am not saying you must be a certain weight or go out of your way to be a certain way to fit some societal idea of what is right. I am not saying this. I am simply being honest about how men are going to be the most attracted to you when you are in the best shape for you. I am talking about doing the best with your unique body shape that you can. healthy is hot. Again, healthy not emaciated or unhealthy. Try to invest time in what you eat and add some light working out to your routine. You will feel and look your best.

Invest in Some New Makeup

You might as well do this in order to feel better about yourself. Go and buy a new lipstick, eyeliner or something that makes you feel sexy and attractive. It’s all about how you feel about yourself. If you take extra care in applying your makeup, you will go out and feel better. That’s what it’s all about. Both looking and feeling your best.

Take Care of Yourself

In general, make yourself a priority. Take care of your health, your general well-being and make sure you take the time to do this as well.

Have Fun

Are there female friends you have lost touch with? Re-unite! Go out, meet new people and be yourself. Let go of any sadness you have and distract yourself with true fun. Learn how to laugh again, to have a good time and be in the company of others who you can truly be yourself with.

Social Media Image

Putting your best foot forward includes social media. Remember we discussed how most people do stalk their ex on social media? You can use this silent stalking as an excellent way to make him yearn for you. Put up some amazingly flattering pictures looking happy and delighted with life. There are two parts to the social media part.

Step 1) Men are visual creatures. Remember how looking your best is part of this phase? Well, it spills over to this part. Post a hot picture. Do not have a profile picture of your dog or a picture of the beach. Simply post an attractive picture to make him realize what he is missing.

Step 2) Post a picture of you having a good time. Instead of him getting the comfort of knowing you are depressed without him in your life, show him you are still out and enjoying life without him needing to be in it. As I have mentioned many times in many articles, men are attracted to happy women. Not only that, he will want you more because he is going to be slightly upset at how un-upset you are. This is human instinct. He is going to want you to miss him, which will in turn make him start to miss you. Remember how having fun is part of this phase? Post a good picture of it!

Phase 3: Other Men (Create Envy)

This is an extremely risky one that I do not think is always a good idea. If you were with an extremely possessive, emotional man who would be disgusted at seeing you with another man… do not do this. This can either work very well or completely backfire and make him never want to get back together with you.

So proceed with caution and if you do decide to do this, only do it in small doses do not go overboard because I guarantee you it will backfire. I am not saying to go crazy and intentionally try to make him jealous by flirting with everyone and plastering it on social media.

What I am saying is do some things here and there that hint that you are being pursued by other men. Whether it is on Facebook or Instagram, posting a status update that shows you hanging out with another man… what is most important here is that you realize you do have options. Maybe do some casual flirting with men you meet.

This will help you see that you do not have to be so hung up on your ex only. Now, you might meet other men and realize you only want your ex back but you also might meet other men and realize there is a whole world out there full of new people to meet. This will help your vibe when you interact with your ex in the future.

He will feel that you are a woman who has choice. In fact, you do not even have to flaunt meeting new men at all. The best option is to simply do things you want and have fun, which will give you the confidence of having a choice. When he feels this vibe, he will not want to lose you to another man and instinctually want to have you back.

Phase 4: Let Him Miss You And Come Back To You

This is the simplest phase of all, but one of the hardest to do correctly.

If you’ve completed phase 1, you know that you shouldn’t be contacting him in order to concentrate on getting yourself into the best headspace and mindset that you can be in.

Also, you’re giving both you and your ex space to let the negativity of the breakup fade. That way, he remembers how good you were together without those memories being tainted by the end of the relationship.

This phase is crucial. You need to put everything that you’ve gained from the first three phases of this plan together and let him come back to you.

Once you’ve put phases 1 through 3 into action, you should be feeling a little better, working on yourself, and also having other options in your dating life.

When all that comes together, it can be tempting to reach out and contact him. After all, you’re feeling really good, so you should reach out to him, right?

While it’s good that you’re feeling better and in a better headspace, in the end it will be much more powerful if you let him reach out to you first.

If he does it, it’s his idea instead of yours. It will feel to him like he’s pursuing you and trying to win you back. If you reach out to him, it might make him feel like you’re trying to manipulate him into a relationship.

So phase 4 is simple: sit tight, keep working on yourself, keep pursuing other options in your dating life, and let him miss you and come back to you.

Now, I want to leave you with something to think about…

How to Tell If He Misses You

Does he randomly text you out of the blue to ask you how you are doing?

Does he send you messages on social media and talk about nothing?

Does he call you when he is drunk?

Does he tell you he is thinking about you?

Does he seem to show up at places you are at?

Does he still talk to anyone you are close to?

If you have any questions or concerns, please write me a comment below and I would love to answer it! And please do let me know your success stories because there is nothing I love more than hearing success stories.

I hope that now you know how to make your ex miss you after your breakup. One important thing is that him missing you is just one piece of the puzzle, if you want him back and you want him to stay with you forever then you need to make him see you as “the one” – the woman he couldn’t live without. To do that you need this secret formula to get your ex back in your arms for good, so don’t wait or you might miss your chance forever: Do You Want Your Ex Back? Use This To Get Them Back…

Want to find out if you can get your ex back? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can ever get him back or if he’s gone for good…

Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?

163 comments… add one
  • Chelsea November 19, 2017, 8:02 pm

    Hi, I was dating a guy for only two months. We had the most amazing time together and a great connection. On date 6 we confided in each other about our traumatic pasts. We had incredibly amazing intimacy and fantastic dates. By date #8 I could tell that he was starting to fall for me. On date #9 he freaked out and told me that he had absolutely no concerns regarding our relationship and that he had no doubt about our connection and that if we continued to see each other we would have a wonderful relationship. The fear that he was having is that I have a 5 year old son. I’m 33, he’s 31 and an attorney. He wants children, but said he is not ready to have a child in his life. I was not pushing anything and he was putting pressure onto himself. I told him that I was trying to focus on the present and that I was not ready for him to be a part of that either. I just wanted things to progress naturally. He had not even met my son. He ended things after our last date without giving us a chance. We are not in contact and it’s been a week. Is there any hope for this situation?

  • Angie November 18, 2017, 1:34 pm

    Hi, my ex boyfriend and i work together, he is younger than me and we were friend for 2 years, I have been supporting him during his bad marriage. I have been liking him for a while and I confessed to him and told him that I can’t be his friend any more as I need to deal with my felling to him as this is wrong feelings because he is married. Latter he got separated from his wife and contacted me 2 weeks after the separation and we became together very quickly and very intense, he initiate every thing and we were very happy he told me how much he loves me and that he wanted to have a future with me. I gave him all the attention and care he needed to help with his separation. Then after that he start to change he started to disrespect me and became secretive than he dumped me because he is not ready for a relationship but he wanted us to remain friends. Our relationship lasted 2 and half months I was upset and tearful but I didn’t react he tried to say hurtful things to me to have a reaction still I didn’t react and I didn’t get hurtful to him with any words or actions and told him that I understand what he is going through and I am willing to go back to be friends, he was grateful for this and astonished that I didn’t react crazy of hurtful to him. Afterwards he contact me via text in almost weekly basis for the following 3 weeks after the breakup checking on me and try to open conversation, also appreciating me at the office to check that i am ok. I kept it short and simple as i need my time to heel as well as i felt he is playing games to keep me hooked in case he can’t find some one alse so he would have me as a short tearm back up. I stoped all contact a week ago and started to ignore him in the office as well and tried not to run into him but in a cool way so I only smile and say hi if we are in the same place briefly. He didn’t text me at all this week, I do want him back because i do love him but not sure that i have a chance or that he even really care. I am very cool, calm and smily in the office as allways which he can see which made him a bit uneasy and he tried to get my attention. I continued taking care of myself and having fun which he can see as well. Can you please advise if you can? Many thanks, Angie.

  • Siya November 12, 2017, 1:07 pm

    What if in dat 1st step..he starts to think dat I really don’t give a damn about dis breakup…nd wht if he thinks dat even I agree totally wid his decision…dan I guess evrything will b worst

  • Anoynimuos November 11, 2017, 8:10 am

    Question is ur in a long distance relationship and ur ex has been acting shady. To get things to break up mutually between you both . And claims to stay as friends for the future … should you agree ? And if you did and you shouldn’t because you want them back . Should you be blunt and state that you don’t feel being friends right now is a option ?

  • Sara November 3, 2017, 7:16 pm

    We’ve been together for 7 months but I broke up with him 5 days ago, I did it before but I begged him to take me back instantly, this time I’m not gonna beg or talk to him because I know he took me for granted and I don’t want that. He didn’t even read my break up message yet.. how will I know if he misses me when he naturally doesn’t text very fast (which is the reason for our break up) and not on social media much + there is no contact between us??

  • Mec November 3, 2017, 12:10 am

    He broke u with me in july . He ignored me after I did alot lf begging etc. i started to feel better do my own thing and little by little he contacted me. But They are short answers from him. No saying he misses me. No inclination that he wants to work on us again. I stay nuetral in texts bc I don’t want to seem needy but am I giving the right impression ?

  • Riya October 30, 2017, 5:04 pm

    We split before 4,yrs..I love him alot I am begging back of him to accept me for the past 4yrs..but no use I am really feed up with lyf..he hated me alot now ..I don’t know wt to do now

    • Cassandra November 9, 2017, 11:12 pm

      Never beg… would you like it?
      Get on zoosk or some other dating website. The next bus is around the corner. You broke up for a reason.
      There are a lot of good men still out there. The website will boost your ego and let you know you’re still attractive to potential dates. You might find you’re happier without him.
      Good luck

  • CLARA BENJAMIN October 29, 2017, 9:48 am


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  • GRACE ALVAREZ October 22, 2017, 9:12 am


  • Tam October 20, 2017, 4:31 am

    My ex (5 month relationship) broke up with me two months ago and a week later went straight to a rebound relationship. He text me out of the blue and asked me how I was and then said we should go get food. He also said that he wants to just be friends. So my question is, why the heck is he texting me to go get food when he is still dating his “rebound”?! I still have feelings for him and he knows that. Hence the reason he told me he just wants to be friends. Everybody knows you can’t be “just friends” with a guy you still have feelings for. I feel like he is playing games with me and going to get food is only going to hurt me more….knowing he doesn’t want to date me. What should I do? Not go? Or TRY to be “Just Friends”??

    • Cassandra November 9, 2017, 11:07 pm

      Omg girl, stay out of friend zone

  • SP October 11, 2017, 10:14 am

    It is going to be a year that we broke up. We are both on our early 50’s. He would hardly ever contact me for the first 8 months but for the last 3 months he has been emailing me and/or texting, he doesn’t have social media. After our break up (which he tells me it was because he couldn’t give me what I wanted) he became involved with someone totally the opposite of me, but cheated on her. He did introduce her to his family as a friend. Our text messages were at first him telling me that he would never see or talk to me again. But will continue to text me some times during the day and mostly during the evening, especially after 11 PM. Our messages have become very intimate. He asked me to come over 3 weeks ago for the first time since we broke up(he had said he would not invite me over again) with the excuse that his back hurt and that I was the only person that could help him. I stopped by (it was after 11 PM) and gave him his back massage for about an hour. I realize he was extremely turned on but we did not get intimate that night. I went home after and he asked me to please text him to let him know I was home safely, which was our routine when we were together before. I texted him the next morning to ask him how was his back feeling but he did not reply, in fact he did not text me again for 7 days. His brother passed away and I sent him my condolences and had a sympathy card for him and his family. I finally saw him again at a car wash before his brother’s funeral and he hugged me tightly when I gave him a hug with my sympathy. Last Friday he asked me to come over again after 11 PM because of his back. I did it again, I went over his place and fixed his back, only this time we were very intimate, but he refused to have intercourse, only other things. We helped each other to a release, but when I tried to go all the way he said NO, we are not doing that. Again he has not texted me back and it has been 4 days. I am so confused. I am not sure if he was using me or if he really did miss me. I have no idea if he still with the other person since I have not asked him. We were together for 2 years before breaking up, we were the best of friends and talked every day and night. He called me and texted me every day when he went away on a cruise with his friends. We enjoyed each other’s company and loved watching football games, which this girl hates any sports. I am not sure what to think. My best friends tells me he is using me, his son tells me he is confused. Please help me understand this man. I love him and I really believed he cared for me. I just don’t know what to think or if it is worth waiting a little bit longer to see if he just gets his mind straight. Thank you!

  • Me October 7, 2017, 7:37 pm

    I ended it with my boyfriend a week ago Friday…I have yet to hear from him. I want to sent him a text, but dont…its a sucky feeling

  • seekup October 3, 2017, 12:28 pm

    Very long story, but I could really use somebody’s advice. About a month ago, my 2 year relationship ended with the love of my life. I still can’t type that without crying. We were both madly in love with each other and very passionate, and the passion went both ways. I did a poor job of leaving no doubt for him to know how much I loved him, which lead to various problems. I never ever cheated on him or went behind his back, but there were stupid lies throughout that ultimately became too much for him to deal with. He lost trust in me the past 6 months, even though I knew that in those past months were whenever I was the most trusting. But I always understood why he couldn’t. Anyway, we fought all the time and our lives were miserable, still loving each other immensely. So he decided he needs to get his life back on track and he can’t do that being with me. I begged for a few days because I was so devastated, but I turned that around. Over the past couple of weeks, I have had to see him (the whole story is explained on another thread I posted, but long story short – he has two children who I watch once a week) so I’ve seen him several times. We’ve been intimate each time except this past week. We haven’t spoken much via text message, but he seems to want to know what I’ve been up to, but then he’ll go a while without texting me. This past weekend, I was at his son’s birthday party, and things seemed to be like they used to be (another tidbit of information – he is much older than me, and our relationship has been kept private from everybody except our closest friends) so everyone at the birthday party (his mother knows so everyone besides her) does not know about us. But he would joke with me, tease me, etc. like he used to, which is what lead to our closest friends finding out about us before we decided to tell them ourselves. However, I’ve become incredibly anxious and worried about what he’s been doing. His life before me consisted of having really good friends, women included but only as friends (and I never once doubted that), and he would typically hang out at bars every other weekend, but he totally stopped that after the first few months of us being together. But a week ago, he told me how his best friend (who knows about us) was inviting him to go to some cabin over the weekend which is just a big drinking fest, but it didn’t work out so it’s at his house instead. His best friend, by the way, has twin 1 1/2 year olds and a wife (who he isn’t completely faithful to). So I know that his wife was probably there which means that other women were not.
    Anyway, while at the birthday party, he was asking me what I was doing later, even though I wasn’t doing anything. He left once it ended saying he was going over to his friend’s house. I had sent him a picture of a dog I was watching that he made a joke about, but he didn’t respond all night until the next morning, which was brief and he stopped texting after the second message. He texted me today asking for his Comcast information, said thank you, then never responded once I said you’re welcome.
    I am so worried he’s forgetting about me and moving on. I have felt better about myself and life in general, but the worriedness and anxiousness does not go away. I want to be with him so badly and am becoming very impatient, which isn’t good because I don’t want it to lead to a breakdown.
    I know that no matter what our future holds, together or just friends, this will have been the best thing for us because we would have never been happy living and treating each other the way we were. He tells me he’ll always love me, but he’s living his life with no expectations and he thinks it’s best for us to both move on. Whenever I told him that I agreed we both need to move on from the previous relationship, he didn’t respond back to that part. (This was during a slip up last weekend that I regret.) I brought up how it upsets me that he’ll text me a few times a week and stop after a handful of texts, nd he made it clear he does NOT want to live his life on his phone. That was a big part of our problems, was that we HAD to be in contact 24/7, and it became very unhealthy. However, I still worry that because I don’t hear from him that often that he’s getting over me.

    I don’t want to be told to move on from him. However I feel in relation to that is going to be a natural thing, and right now I do not want to move on from him because I want to be with him so badly. I want to continue improving myself, but I need advice on how to interpret how he’s feeling and how to handle how anxious I get about what he’s doing and why he doesn’t contact me much. Oh, and one more thing … he has said that there’s always a chance for us to get back together, and in relation to the no expectations thing, he said he’s not going to think one way or the other.

  • Tiffany Littrell September 28, 2017, 2:45 pm

    Hi my name is Tiffany. I have been with my man for over three years. The last year we fought a lot and I always found things such as him sexting other women and eventually I just broke down got depressed and felt like he was cheating on me when I didn’t know if he really was becuase he would tell me he wasn’t. I have a child with him and another on the way. We live together and he won’t break the lease. He broke up with me saying he was just tired of it and just knows how to get in my head to where I feel so hurt and upset and hate myself for doubting him when I even catch him in lies. Now I find myself still loving him and wanting him back so bad but I’m always hurt and sad becuase whenever this man does stuff that makes me happy then next he doesn’t realize how much he hurt me…im terrified he’s gunna see other woman and since I live with him and have his children it will kill me but he doesnt understand that. Since he broke up with me I have no right to say who he sees but it will make me feel like I was nothing to him! That I will feel like I’ve lost all hope of being with him. He says he loves me but not in love with me. He gives me kisses sometimes but then ttys to not give me the wrong idea. I need help and o know it’s all toxic but I don’t know what to do!! I hurt so much! With a one year old and a baby on the way I’m so emotion and can’t think. I love this man so much but I feel if he dates another woman he’s gone forever and I’ll be all alone with his children while we go back and forth for our kids to see me and him I two seperate households. And what if he fell in love with someone else and had kids with them? I’d die! I don’t know what to do…i want to be with him and I know he still does lovable things for me but I feel like it leads me on…and since we live together I can’t have no contact with him. And each time he hides his phone to text I feel like he’s already talking to other woman and just won’t tell me. Someone please help…

  • Nomhle September 27, 2017, 4:18 am

    my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me and he said his tired of all the fighting and his reached his breaking point. yes his years we’ve been fighting a lot and it was also wearing me out but I always told myself that I would fight for the relationship and thought all the fighting were probably tests to see how strong our relationship is. I begged him and told him I’ll do anything to make him happy and try to minimize the fighting, he wasn’t interested. its been a month since we broke up and o last spoke to him two weeks back and he said I should move on then said he needs time with no communication, he even removed all our pictures from his social media. I love him and he genuinely loved me. he told me that he has never had a gal that loved him like I did and he doubt he’ll ever find her but his not sure if he still wants to be with me, his heart wants me but his mind doesn’t. please advise

  • Ell September 24, 2017, 8:44 am

    It’s been 2 weeks since he broke up with me.and he made very clear that he don’t have any feelings left for me.and even if it does it’s all negativity about me in his mind and he don’t want me in any case.he never tried contacting me.we were together since 2 and half years.its a shocking for me.i love him even after his harsh words.his reason of break up is that we argue a lot and that’s true but I asked him to give me a chance but he isn’t ready .i am not in contact with him but nothing is changing.he seems really over me.its not the 1st time that he broke up with me but whenever he did ..he always initiated contacting me and asking for a chance and when this time I asked for a chance ..he is just not ready to give me. Please tell me what to do to make him come back to me?

  • Yasan September 23, 2017, 6:34 am

    I and my fiance separated after two years because of the many problems between us .. But the last problem was big and did not talk to me and I did not speak to him three months ago, and his father convinces him to return but he refuses to .. I knew that from the people around .. Is there a chance to return? How can I?, I am 16 and he is 26 years old

  • Mary September 21, 2017, 5:31 pm

    After 1.5 years of dating, my ex randomly broke it off by saying “he’s extremely stressed with life right now” and that he felt bad he couldn’t give me 100% right now. He felt as if he was putting me on the back burner, which I completely disagree with. It was the healthiest, most amazing and fun relationship anyone could be in. He didn’t want to ask me to wait for him because he didn’t think it was fair, and so he broke it off. I don’t know what to do. The last time we talked, about 2 weeks ago, he said he didn’t know if he wanted this break up. I’m so heart broken. I thought I was going to marry this guy, he’s amazing. What do I do now?

    • Jess October 3, 2017, 3:12 pm

      I feel like I wrote this myself, it’s exactly my situation. We are soooo much alike and have so much in common. He’s hit a depression and wants to end things. I don’t know what to do.

      • May October 15, 2017, 6:52 am

        You guys are in the exact same situation as what i am in right now, we’ve been broken up a bit over a week now after being together for over a year. He was going through a tough time and struggling with mental health issues and decided that even though I was willing to stick by him and love him no matter what, that he needed to help himself before he could let anyone else help him. I was so upset but understood that when he said he needed some time to get himself right, thats what he needs. So I am giving him some space, we spoke last night to catch up but it was him initiating it and asking how I was.. I left it a day before I replied and he seemed like he genuinely cared. I hope things work out, he is seriously the loveliest, most caring, generous and funny person I know and we got along so well. I really hope that focusing on myself for a while and allowing him to do the same will be exactly what he needs.. I just hope we find our way back to each other soon as I miss him very much.
        I hope your situations turned out well guys xx

  • Benny September 10, 2017, 11:14 pm

    Hey I need Help!
    I have been with this guy from 6months. We were in a more than friends type of a relationship coz we both needed time to commit each other and call it as a Love because love takes times. But we bith were very loyal to each other and everyone knew we about us that we are more that friends and dating sort of. We even physically intimated and were very happy with that also.He was very caring guy who us give me attention all the time. But from past 1 month things were not ok because he was not able to give me time and then I started fight on small small things. In this mean while his father was admitted in hospital and my guy got very disturbed while that time. Even he became ill after that so in that mean while i gave him his space and time and pampered him a lot but slowly I found everything was coming back to normal but he wasn’t giving me time as he use to give me before the way he use to text be before so I started fighting and again and again. And in the last i got so frustrated that I spoke shit to him very badly in anger. I apologised to him after that but it was to late and he decided to end it. So he called me and spoke to me nicely and ended it. But now I’m regretting of my anger and i want him back. Because he was the perfect guy i want.
    He asked me stay as friends but I don’t want that I want him back.

  • Niya September 10, 2017, 9:17 pm

    My ex and I have been through a lot. Everything has been amazing since day one. We recently suffered a miscarriage but he seems fine as we very supportive. I thought this was the man I was going to marry one day. However he recently met up with his ex fiancé. They have had a toxic on again off again relationship and he was the one who broke of their engagement for good. He met with here after 8 months of no contact to retrieve some important information she had of his. The meeting turned into her saying how sorry she is and she wants him to give her another chance and you know what he did….. no surprise broke up with me to give her another chance. They are no good for each other and everyone knows it. I don’t think it will last long. Do you think your methods will work in this situation and make him realize he made the wrong decision. I want him back not because I feel I need him but because I truly do love him

    • Lynne October 14, 2017, 11:20 am

      This is one of the most thorough and worthwhile articles I have read on this subject and so thank you! I don’t see many responses to the posts here, so before I tell my very convoluted story, can you tell me the chances of receiving any response? Thank you.

  • Libby Fox September 7, 2017, 5:38 am

    Me and my long term boyfriend did everything together and we basically lived together.
    He has a few mental health problems and a pocessive mother.
    We went to America on holiday a week ago and next week he starts his last year of uni.on Tuesday he broke up with me , he said he did want to still have me in his life but needed space as his head isn’t in the right place. We texted a bit but I could tell his mum was controlling it and he asked for space again … I’m meant to help him move into uni and he hasn’t said no to it but he hasn’t messaged me at all since for a whole day, do I just give the space and hope he doesn’t forget about me ? We did so much together we where like two peas in a pod as load of people told us. He’s kept his profile pic and lots of his stuff at mine. Is there still a chance? Was it his mum’s doing of the break up and he will he change when he’s out of the house at uni ? I need help because we love each other and he did say but I’m worried he’s lying or his mum is inflicting this. I just want to text him to remind him I’m here but I’m not sure what to do. Please give some advice

  • Maddie September 5, 2017, 8:18 pm

    When we first started seeing each other he had just gotten out of his relationship with his ex and I had trust issues that they weren’t really done. I would ask him about it and one time we got in a huge fight about it because I wanted proof that they were over. Now he uses that against me and he doesn’t like me drinking because his dad is an alcoholic. I told him I was going out with a friend gave him which friend location and everything I said I’m not drinking because I’m broke..I posted a Snapchat of two beers and he sees the Snapchat and just flips on me that I lied to him and said I wasn’t drinking but I did. I told him my friend bought the drinks but I’m sorry should have let him know. Anyways the fight turned bigger and he ended things. I told him I want to fix this because it was an honest mistake and he brings up that he’s gone through hoops to prove to me and all this. He said he’ll give it another try but isn’t ready to talk about it & just needs some space. I’m at a point do I give him his space and try to fix this or just move on.

  • michelle September 3, 2017, 7:28 pm

    I used to use this formula all the time with my ex… but he was a narccisist and used devalue discard almost monthly for 18 years to keep me in love with him. I used to think wow this stuff works, until I realized he only came back because I was what they call narccisistic supply. Make sure you are not in a situation like this before using these methods that absolutely work, but sometimes we should let them go and get past the pain of missing them.

  • Raya September 1, 2017, 10:35 am

    3.5 years ago he was my friend.we have 100s of mutual friend from school.We shared every thing we eat everyday how close friend we were.we met sometimes.I falled in love with him after 3 months of friendship.I felt so much pain inside because of insecurity because he did not know i am in love.After many thought oneday i told him that I am in love with u so badly.That day he said “Dont misunderstand me.I never said I love u.This is my last and final message to u.” Then he blocked me from every social media.

    I cried a lot o got crazy but i had nothing to do.after 2 month i become normal may be.i started again study…sometime i saw him in school.he also saw me in school.But we ignored each other.

    After 9 month of block he suddenly knocked me “How u doing”. I had no feelings that time.so i replied easily m fyn.he asked abt i hv any boyfriend yet or not.I said no.then he told me can we be friend like before?I said Never. Then he didint reply.After 2 days he proposed me.He said he I love u.I want to be ur bf.then our rltnship started.

    First 3 months he didnt loved me that i realized.but i gave so much love to him.i made use to him…i gave lots of gift…i surprised him a lot…He sudenly started to say me Why u r an amazing girl???He fall deeply in love that he started give me Gold Locket…Gold Ring….Gold earpin…he started spent lot of money….we started meet everyday.His mom asked him about he has any gf or not.He told his mom everything.I am a good student(3.9 in undergrad),i am from a rich educated family,i am a good chef…etc.he was in love me so much…he bought a Closet for me in his room.His mom bought jewelry for me for wedding.i choose the design of that closet nd jewelry.That is how much serious he was.we were physically involved also.

    The day i left my country that morning he came to surprise me with a gift (hand watch).we had breakfast together.i was so happy….he cried also that i am leaving.

    After 2 yr rltnshp i got admission in canada for ms.i came here 7 months ago.we started arguments after long distance.One month ago we had heated argument also like always.He used a slang to me.I cut the phone.then i said i dont want to be with u.He then no reply.after 2 days He wished me for My birthday.i said Thanks.then after 2 days i knkd him.He was fire and said this is our last conversation he brokeup with me.total 4.-5 days gap.he blocked me from everything.He added so many girls in his facebook after he brokeup.some girls flirts with him.I cry everyday.I said sorry so many times.I called him 22 days but he didnt pick any of my call.From last 9 days idont call or msg him.He blocked me but he didnt block My best friend.My friend sometimes asked him that he misses me or not.He says yes He misses but he wont back.from 9 days i applied no contact rule.Yesterday my friend asked him that
    ” Bro u missed her early after breakup or now?which one is lot?”
    He said recently more.
    Then my friend said then how u sure that u will forget after some days?
    He said “I dont know”

    My questin is why he talk to my friend?Is there any chance to come back?he added so many female in his facebook.If he talk to another girl he will forget me?if he date some one then will he forget me really?Why he makes us confused that he loves me,trying to move on,but wont back,but recently misses me a lot…why all this things?I really need to know what should i do if i want him back…Thanks dear❣️

    (I am only daughter of my parents…good family….good education i was perfct he said)

  • Yas August 29, 2017, 8:27 pm

    am reading your discussion on how important it is to keep in touch after a long distance breakup…but it seems my boyfriend sometimes is interested in conversations and will write quite a lot, then sometimes he is one worded and/or doesn’t even reply anymore. He tells me he is here always when I need him and wishes me the best, etc, and numerous times he has asked me if we broke up if it’s possible for us to stay in contact and be friends and I said over time maybe, but that I don’t know, but now that we have broken up I miss him and it’s been one month. We are both from the same city and then we both moved to the east coast for college and stayed together a year and a half, but started falling into communication failures and distance. We have generally been very good at fixing our problems, but this summer we both were in the same city for two months, it was wonderful, then I left for a month to a different country and it started to happen again where we lost touch and communication became worse to the point where I would express my deep sadness and emotions about not being happy and all the things I felt were wrong in our relationship. He wanted to fix it and admitted he felt the same and wanted to rekindle the spark, but then the last week before I came he became distant again and then I got back and we talked, cried and broke up. We said let’s give each other a few days to think it through, but then we broke up. I regret losing him and I have followed all the steps and methods and in your videos. The ones about writing bullet points on what went wrong, his views, etc and I still feel lost, but I have come to terms with a lot of things I did wrong. He owed me money from a previous trip we went on and I was a bit rude about it and I feel it somewhat ruined the relationship after the break up, but then we started to slowly talk and I asked his opinion on something, he was kind, but stopped anwering. I’m not sure what else to do. I am now back in the city I study in and he is still home, but will be back soon, 3 hours away.
    Now he told me he needs a little bit of space and doesn’t want to shut me out, but wants to eventually have something good and be friends but things we need a little space to heal and move forward.

  • Yas August 29, 2017, 8:26 pm

    am reading your discussion on how important it is to keep in touch after a long distance breakup…but it seems my boyfriend sometimes is interested in conversations and will write quite a lot, then sometimes he is one worded and/or doesn’t even reply anymore. He tells me he is here always when I need him and wishes me the best, etc, and numerous times he has asked me if we broke up if it’s possible for us to stay in contact and be friends and I said over time maybe, but that I don’t know, but now that we have broken up I miss him and it’s been one month. We are both from the same city and then we both moved to the east coast for college and stayed together a year and a half, but started falling into communication failures and distance. We have generally been very good at fixing our problems, but this summer we both were in the same city for two months, it was wonderful, then I left for a month to a different country and it started to happen again where we lost touch and communication became worse to the point where I would express my deep sadness and emotions about not being happy and all the things I felt were wrong in our relationship. He wanted to fix it and admitted he felt the same and wanted to rekindle the spark, but then the last week before I came he became distant again and then I got back and we talked, cried and broke up. We said let’s give each other a few days to think it through, but then we broke up. I regret losing him and I have followed all the steps and methods and in your videos. The ones about writing bullet points on what went wrong, his views, etc and I still feel lost, but I have come to terms with a lot of things I did wrong. He owed me money from a previous trip we went on and I was a bit rude about it and I feel it somewhat ruined the relationship after the break up, but then we started to slowly talk and I asked his opinion on something, he was kind, but stopped anwering. I’m not sure what else to do. I am now back in the city I study in and he is still home, but will be back soon, 3 hours away.

  • K August 29, 2017, 10:19 am

    It has been almost a month since we broke up. He broke up with me saying that he had enough of the small fight we had every month. Since our breakup , he show no emotions. He didnt try to reach out to me too. However he does constantly post on his facebook page. And it does seem to me he has already move on. Is there even chance for us to be back together again?

  • Aggie August 21, 2017, 5:37 am

    Hi, this is great and motivating article! Thank you! I just got a question as my ex said he don’t feel the same anymore as I do. He says love faded? Our life was difficult for starters and I was there for him always and now I feel that he stand on his feet and gained confidence back so he don’t need me. Although we decided I will move out which is hard. We lived out of know where which is isolating so I think that didn’t help. I strongly want to believe all these tips I’ll help. But it’s hard to know I must move out and just leave him there. I am having holiday now and after moving out. How long will it take to get him back? Will this really work?

  • Chloe Cryans August 19, 2017, 12:01 pm

    Hiya basically my ex who i’ve known for 6 years, got together last year on the 3rd of October, split up in may and he got with someone else and just split up with her and came round to my house on the 17/8/2017 and he’s been round ever since out the blue and we had no contact what does it mean?

  • Vanessa August 15, 2017, 11:17 pm

    I read your article and found it useful as this was my first serious relationship and he has decided to ended by ghosting (he did however tried to end it before and pleaded to give us a chance) after texting him concerned about why he is not answering and that was a week after me not contacting him he calls me ending it anws I pleaded for him to come by tmrw so we can talk I wasn’t sure he was going thru it and I ended up going through binge drinking to the extent he came by and saw me all drunk and vunrable he left shortly (I do not remember that much) and ended calling him once and texting him a huge message about admitting what we had was real
    I felt betrayed because he gave me a promise ring telling me he wants to be with me and in the beginning of the relationship he was scare I would leave him and now the tables have been turned and has already happened. I haven’t contacted him since I have been trying to keep my phone away and distract myself what I want to know is can I still salvage it ??

  • Jade August 11, 2017, 3:58 am

    Hi I’m a gay female and I had a one year relationship with a girl at work but she had a bf she was only working as an internship and left 6 weeks ago since leaving she has said that she only wants to be friends and if we can’t be friends we shouldn’t speak but I don’t think ndearstand why she changed her mind so quickly she’s gone from saying I love you everyday to not wanting to talk to me at all really and when I try to talk to her she just gets angry and rude with me, I miss her everyday and gutted that she’s choosing to stay with her bf that’s she’s cheated on for a year then even try and sort things out with me I don’t know what to think or do anbout the situation I try not to txt her but it’s hard coz I miss her so much we doesn’t nearly everyday together for a year and now no contact at all she she replies if I txt but will never txt me first she says she donsnt think about me or love me anymore and only misses me as a friend after 2 weeks of being apart she said that to me I said then her feelings couldn’t of been there in the first place and she says think what you want?! I dunno what to think!

  • Sarah August 1, 2017, 7:18 pm

    My boyfriend and I were together for almost three years. We were pretty much a power couple, he was my first boyfriend, and he was 7 years older than me. Everyone who knew him before I met him, constantly told me he is so much better and happier with me and had never seen him treating anyone like a queen like he was treating me. He was good looking and smart and he knew it. We met each other at work, he was trying to move out of his apartment because he did not like his roommates, and he wanted to go back to school. We were on a break after us talking to each other for about 3 months because he wanted to focus on himself and just pick up shifts, make money, and get out of that apartment. We were still speaking to each other, one thing lead to another, with my help, we moved him out and he got his new apartment. Few months later, when I thought we are still just friends he told me he loves me, like 3 times until I stopped pretending like I am not hearing him. We started becoming more public about our relationship. He was so kind and loving and he did every single thing he could to make me feel special. He was so respectful and considerate. He would even come help my mother with some of the manlier things around the house. However recently I quit my job, which lead to us seeing each other less, and during the summer I was out of school, and so I became very clingy and needy and constantly nagging so he would hang out with me, because I was bored when I really should’ve picked up a hobby or something. We did try to take a course together online when I told him I don’t want to do online class, and I went on a vacation with my friend for a week after being gone for a month visiting family abroad. That really upset him, he failed the first exam and ended up dropping the course which cost him a lot of money too. So just being more in debt than before, and having a nagging girlfriend who kept trying to push herself on him and became more and more protective and paid more attention to him so she would get more attention, got annoying. He kept saying that all we do is argue now, and I kept saying it is always over the same thing, I just want to see you more. Anyways, 2 weeks ago he asked for some time and space, I got mad, then resulted in a break then a break up!! All in matter of like 30 minutes because I was livid and confused. I thought everything was great. He said he feels like he is not good enough for me, I made life so easy for him he was letting go of himself and becoming lazy. Which really pissed me off because last time we took a break while he moved out he said that same thing but then 5 months later telling me he loved me he said he didnt mean any of that. I am a very very hardworking woman, type A, I even made a to do list and plan of attack for both of us every day, so I know if he was even being lazy it was because he was just being lazy and had nothing to do with me.
    The last week, he got drunk two nights in a row (even with me, he only drank when he was upset), he texted me often but I was sleep, my summer class had started, and he even called me. He texts me every so often, maybe with a picture of a car he thinks we both like, and used to ask me about my class.
    I know we got back together last time, and I have a feeling he will come back this time too. This year, it wouldve been our 4th birthday and christmas together, he even said no one celebrated his birthday before me, and no one wanted to decorate the house for halloween and christmas like he did. He did tell me he cares about me, but he did say that he wasnt happy with himself anymore. So I dont know. State fair is in a month and it is our tradition to go to it. We always had so much fun. its in a month and a half. I was wondering if it is okay for me to ask him to go as friends? I am going on another trip in a week to just get out of here and not let sadness come to my life. I already signed up for some fun activities and new hobbies as well to keep myself busy and learn bunch of new things I have always wanted to learn. I do love him and I care about him. I don’t want him to hate his life thinking he hasnt achieved anything and gone no where in life, but he has told me multiple times, I am the one who pushes him to do better, and I mean the past two weeks all he has done was really sitting in bed, or getting drunk … so how is that improving his life I have no clue!

  • Justina July 31, 2017, 4:13 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me early this month. He tells me he still loves me but felt like things weren’t feeling right anymore. He didn’t have this feeling for long he said, but he did feel it. We got in a fight one day and that’s when we broke up. He’s told me multiple times he does miss me, and begged me to come over when he was drunk because he just wanted to see me. We used to spend every night together when he was home from school, so I thought maybe we just spent too much time together doing the same boring thing everyday so he got tired of the relationship and not me? We’re not talking right now but idk what to do. We haven’t went a whole week in the past two years without talking to each other. Do you think he’ll miss me enough to want me back?

  • Wans July 31, 2017, 3:27 pm


    I have broken up with my boyfriend since two months now,but then since he is not even texting or trying to approach. After we broke I remember after few days he called me up but I disconnected the call saying I don’t know whose speaking. Later this week mistakenly I made a call the next day he reverted me but then again I didnt answered him..what should I understand from this.i don’t know what he is upto…If he misses me? Or no

    Best regards,

  • Renee July 28, 2017, 4:28 pm

    My ex and I were in a long distance relationship for the past 15 months. He works out of town all week so we only saw each other every weekend but talked and texted daily. The relationship was good, even talked we both wanted long term and eventually to live together until 3 months ago when he took a new job for his company. The demands of the job and long hours started changing him, which i told him that. He was becoming irritable, pulling away so I started pressing for him to just move in with me and my teen son so it would be easier on all of us. We’ll you guessed it, he finally said I love you with all my heart but I can’t give you what you want. He couldn’t live with me and didn’t think he could deal with the teenage way of life nowadays. Of course I did all the wrong things afterwards trying to convince him why we should work it out since we loved each other so much, even told him I was OK with us not living together, which I am OK with and I shouldn’t have pressured him when he already had enough pressure from the new job. He asked for his freedom even though he says he still loves me. We continue to text some for about a week after this but I still was doing all the wrong thing and my last text was I love you, to which he responded Enjoy your day. I have since stopped all contact and know there is probably no hope of him wanting me back even though I know he really loves me. I’m a strong person and realize life goes on and I’ll be fine but I love him so I’m going to try your steps and see what happens. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.

  • Kari July 23, 2017, 12:58 am

    He broke up 6 days ago n i m contacting him bt he blocked me frm everywhere! Bt he talk to my friends n sayng them that this decision is better for us! M nt good for her! I want him back n i know he miss me alot bcoz v cnt stay widout each other! I tried to call or msg him bt he dint replied but then i told him reply once if u ever loved me he replied b safe b happy! Takecre!
    I am confused will he come back to me? M missing him alot! I cry everyday! He told dat he is not happy but he is stress free leaving me! Will he come back?

  • Aleisha July 16, 2017, 3:50 am

    What happens if they contact you during the no contact period? Do you reply or do you ignore them?

  • andrea July 10, 2017, 2:09 am

    Well, I have a question… and that is, how likely is it for him to come back after randomly breaking up with me?
    We had an amazing relationship, wow amazing.. we connected in ways that no one could understand. When we first met our priorities weren’t so crazy.. I met him after a tragic tragic thing happened with his father… and I met him a month after… we connected right off the bat. Throughout the months we were getting to know each other he asked me to be his girlfriend. Of course I said yes, he’s nothing like anyone I’ve ever known. Respectful, playful, honest, everything you could possibly ask for.. through the months we were dating there was no arguments, nothing, of course little things we got like upset about, but we easily talked about it and knew that it was nothing to break us, it was never serious with us to that extent ever. Now our priorities are more serious with life, we are both 20 and very Mature. Full time jobs but We both take care of the things we need to but we always made sure we made time for each other. we both don’t have social media nothing, which was why our relationship worked soooo great… His job is very busy and I randomly asked him(which I now regret) if being in a relationship was too much for him and he said sometimes yes, very randomly… and I’m still confused.. he said it’s not me, it’s him. That he needs to focus on himself and to take care of his family (he has no children) but of course his mother and sibling..and basically broke it off.. Its been a week…and I’m hurting “if we aren’t meant to be I’ll find my way back to you…” still can’t With that…
    His mother and I keep in contact and still wants me to hang out with her and have dinner and says I’m invited over whenever and to pray to God that he will bring us back together…
    I know it’s a lot for him to handle right now with life but i just want to know if it’s okay if I ask how he’s doing.. I don’t know I’m very confused..

  • stephane July 6, 2017, 1:57 am

    This article is mostly targeted to woman. So I ask a question on man side. I have lot of difficulties to start a new relation, because this give me anxiety. My ex that I was with for 7months decided to stop the relation. I totally understand her and I’m working on myself (therapy) to try to understand why I get these anxieties. Since we broke 4 weeks ago, we regularly see at beginning because we kept some feeling. She from time to time text me that she missed me. But since couple of day she is much colder in her message and when we cross each other. Would it make sense to start “Radio Silent” now ?

  • ZuhuSam June 27, 2017, 5:44 am

    Well I had a break up 3 years back wd my gf but am still loving her, can’t describe how much, I am gone mad.
    She used to love me, she loved me for a period of 6 months, we were happily living together in love, then one day, she said to me its over, I’m still loving her too much, missing him too much, she doesn’t response, she neither love me nor hates me, it seems that she is in hesitation whether she should love or hate me… Plz tell me what should I do to make him love me as she used to do in past…??

  • Dr. DDrew June 26, 2017, 12:40 pm

    If someone cheats on you, speaks poorly of you, disrespects you, or makes you feel crazy, inadequate, or unloved, they do not deserve to have your love or attention. There are so many other people and opportunities for you to find joy and happiness in this world. You portray madness when trying to put a square peg in to a circular hole and similarly you don’t need to keep hammering away at a broken relationship. Seek positive relationships instead. Good luck…

  • Imani June 26, 2017, 1:45 am

    Okay .. so my ex I broke up after 2
    2 years of being together he was telling me he didnt feel the same anymore .. but long story short 2 months past and I had got into a relationship with my friend but it didnt last because I told him I still love my ex and wanna be back with him.. so few days after that break up I texted my ex and told him how I felt .. he told me he dont wanna date rn maby in the future because he says I hurt him by dating other people after we broke up vut I really want him back what should I do ??

  • Erica Newberg June 25, 2017, 10:16 am

    My boyfriends mother passed away 5 months ago he took it really hard.we have been together for 3 years we had planned to get married and have a baby.I came home from work one day and he said it was over. No fight because we never fight. He said he wanted to go to school and better himself but he had to do it alone. We talked in the beginning. I decided to do no contact after 4 days he texted wanting to see me for lunch. Everything went well a couple days later I asked to go to dinner. After we went to dinner I tried to put the moves on him. After being shot down he left. He texted me the next day saying he had fun. Feeling rejected I decided to go back to no contact. It’s been 9 days and nothing. However he saw a friend of mine the other night and talked about how he misses me and my son. He told her we still talk and see each other.

  • Saras June 24, 2017, 6:53 am

    It been more than.four weeks i had used the ni contact rule with my ex.Last week he keep looking up on my status..but there is no any interaction between us. Do he miss me? But why does not he text or called me?

    • Imani June 26, 2017, 1:48 am

      If he missed you or just wanted to talk to you he would text you or call you .. If I was you I wouldnt even stress about it

  • john June 24, 2017, 2:19 am

    hi my ex calls me every times she is drunk can i get her back and many times she comment through facebook that she loves me but when i ask her she told me the same thing but she doesnt want to come back to me i remember two days ago we meet in club then i receive a call from my friend i went out to receive that call i didnt know she was behind my back we talk we laght but when am throung she became jelours and even slap me i dont why she slap me and we were not together please i need your help on this

    • Imani June 26, 2017, 1:52 am

      Yes !! she misses you she’s not gonna tell you that unless shes drunk but im guessing she wants you to chase after you im not sure but when a person is drunk the truth comes out !!

  • irfan June 22, 2017, 5:55 pm

    I met this girl over fb. She is divorced with 2 kids and 32 years of age. Im 26. We talked a lot and went to video calls. We never met in person. She treated me awesome and we planned about our mariage and all. We dated for 6 weeks. Then after i pushed her out of my nonsense to her husband saying its better for her and kids to be with their dad. She refused and refused and i pushed and pushed. At the end she talked him and are now together. Now i begged and cried in front of her to come back. I tried no contact but after 2 week i couldnt resist. I texted her all that how i miss her and love her and sent her my poetry i wrote for her. After 50 texts and many days she replied. She said i cant text her at night. He husband is by the phone. And said it cant be like early anymore and cannot love someone over internet. And i like you as the person you are. And she wants to be with his husband now.i die every second for her. She said she wants the kids to be with their dad and dont want to waste all years invested and cannot start afresh a new relation. I asked her at least be my friend. She said i can be a friend. But now i stopped talking her now about 2 weeks. Did i lost her forever?. Will she come back? Do i have any chance? i loveeeee her.

  • Elizabeth June 22, 2017, 2:16 pm

    So my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me a month ago due to arguing. He is in the army and currently away. I made the mistake of begging for him to take me back, before asking if we could still talk and saying I would leave things. After 3 weeks he stops following me on Instagram and I’ve found out today he has deleted me from facebook. I don’t understand why he would wait to do these things, he also has stuff at my house that he needs to pick up when he’s back. I really want him back, our relationship was amazing when we were together, problems only arise when he’s away. Now though I’m convinced he’s talking to a girl he knew from school.
    Any advice on what to do!?! I’m heartbroken

  • Sirena June 20, 2017, 3:39 am

    Ex bf of 2 years says he does not love me anymore but wants to be civil due to our kids…we live together also…we are sleeps g in separate rooms…aftwr begging and asking for another chance, he has made up his mind that he does not want o because there is no more emotional connection….eventually, told him that I understand and respect his decision and he should do whatever makes hi. Happy and I’ll do what makes me happy…said we can keep a civil relationship for the kids and with time we can figure out moving arrangements since it’s not in our pocket budget to do so now, asked of him to just please respect me while we still live together and to keep his personal life outside our apartment…and just said we could work out a civilized friendship…. I needed to say that to get some closure….is there anyway he will, with time, miss me?

  • Yvette June 14, 2017, 2:53 am

    We have been together for10 yrs have 2 boys moved in and out with eachother n this time break up was bad i even said he was dead top me ….2weeks pass since ive moved out n no conyact silence from both ends he blocked me off of social media n just yesterday he created a new fb page to text me ” what can’t speak to the dead “? What do i do next i love himn want him back to keep forever … but I’m that type that is needy clingy. And responds to anything he says or does he knows he had me like that …what do i do? He thinks the worse of me and blamed me for everything he also thinks that I’m playing him for a fool but I’m none of the things he says n thinks i am help me

  • Alice June 13, 2017, 4:06 pm

    So we have been together for two years and then my boyfriend left me and after some time he came back and he confessed he cheated on m when together and after leaving me at that time he was still with her. But then he begged for another chance so we started talking again and I was trying to make it work until I found out about something else he had done during that time. And all the anger and hurt came rushing back and I told him we were done. And he got really emotional and he told me not to leave him and that he will change and he begged me. But I still rejected him. And he hasn’t spoken to me since then but it’s only been a day. Either way I still do love him so I don’t know if I did the right thing by pushing him away when he begged so much. Will he ever come back now ? Would he stop trying to win me back? Have i lost him?

  • taylar June 13, 2017, 11:45 am

    my ex is military and he will be flying in, in about 2 weeks. he ended things all the sudden because he was in a slump and needs space. should i surprise him at the airport or would this be a bad idea?

    • julia June 13, 2017, 7:19 pm

      do it girlie what to you have to lose

    • Elizabeth June 22, 2017, 2:37 pm

      Good luck! Let us know how it goes, similar situation myself x

  • Danielle jones June 10, 2017, 7:56 pm

    Me and my ex boyfriend have been broken up for months I think maybe years yesterday he told me that he doesn’t need me or want me it’s because of a heated conversation we had and he said that the reason why he is keeping his distance from me is because of the stupid things that I do like not being honest or talking to my ex-boyfriend from the last relationship but I’m not doing that anymore now all the sudden now he says that I don’t mess with him anymore I couldn’t even go fishing with his family today and I want to know what I can do to not be in a bad mood while keeping distance from him as well and not contacting him I need help I can’t sit here day after day crying about him texting him or calling him he said he’s keeping his distance from me he completely shut me off he said he doesn’t need me or want me so I try to find things to occupy me like watch movies or play games on my phone but it still doesn’t help what should I do to make it seem like I don’t miss him but I want him to miss me but deep down inside I do miss him what do you think I should do?

  • Elisa June 5, 2017, 7:58 am

    I was dating a married man off and on for 5 years. The last 2 years were very deep. He gave me a ring and made moves to divorce his wife. I pushed him away by causing a lot of fights because I didn’t trust he would divorce. He finally told her he wanted to separate but I was still afraid he wasn’t going to go through with it and I would be devastated. We had a big fight and it got ugly. I of course chased him and did all the wrong things trying to salvage it. He went back to his wife. I gave up 4 months after the fight and worked on me and understanding relationships. We haven’t spoken even though he tried calling me back in January once. After getting myself in a better place and taking care of me. I feel I really want to show him I grew and would like to reconnect. So I planned a little run in after these 5 more months since no contact. He talked but he doesn’t seem to have grown and is still very hurt. He is talking to my friends about me but everything is negative or he is trying to check my motives. He tells them I haven’t changed and I am crazy even though he talked nice to me, wished me a happy birthday and he admitted he has been watching me. I paged him cause I was upset he was talking to my friends and not me. I praised him about changing me and my relationships and told him all good things but I also told him that I felt hurt and hate it when he spoke to my friends and not me. I asked him to respect me and not talk to them about us. I asked him to talk to me when he was ready since he told me he wasn’t ready to talk yet. We haven’t spoken in a week and I find out he went to 2 of my friends to tell them I am crazy and haven’t changed. That I blew up his pager that week. I said all good stuff other then asking to not talk to my friends. It wasn’t a lot but it did take several pages since the pager doesn’t allow you to text much. What is he doing? I figure I leave him alone…if I see him just smile and love him so he can see the changes. But it is very hurtful that he didn’t respect my wishes. Is he testing me?

  • sujuma June 5, 2017, 12:10 am

    my boyfriend broke up me because of my bad behaviour. After 2days he called me and said sorry because of me your depressed, it all happened because of me. what should I do know??????? he stopped contacting me after that and block me in whatsapp but he didn’t block on facebook. what should I do pls give me some idea to move on.

  • sujuma June 5, 2017, 12:09 am

    my boyfriend broke up me because of my bad behaviour. After 2days he called me and sad sorry because of me your depressed, it all happened because of me. what should I do know??????? he stopped contacting me after that and block me in whatsapp but he didn’t block on facebook. what should I do pls give me some idea to move on.

  • sujuma June 5, 2017, 12:08 am

    my boyfriend broke up me because of my bad behaviour. After 2days he called me and sad sorry because of me your depressed, it all happened because of me. what should I do know???????

  • Hninsimarn June 4, 2017, 10:04 pm

    I am Hninsimarn.my ex bf and me were long distance relationship.now i am in no contact rule 19days .during this time..often he talked to my sister..(how is she and sad or depress? hate me ? i worry her and sister pleases encourage her and take care her ..i want to know how is her condition and so on)he use to taked contionously 4 days in a week ….
    What is this signs? good or bad?
    or next what should i do ?
    advice me…..
    Resquest by full of respect ..

  • Cecile June 4, 2017, 9:37 pm

    Hello! My ex and i broke up 6 months ago after he moved across the country for his dream job. When he left, we were meant to do long distance for 6 months and then figure out what we were going to do. We lived together and had been together for 1 year and a half.
    Two weeks after he left, we were both miserable and he started being overwhelmed with how hard work was. He was working a lot and he felt he couldn’t be there for me and he had to focus on himself. I felt like we were not in the same place in our lives and we decided to break up (over the phone). We kept texting each other and updating one another about our lives and we missed each other terribly. We’ve been through some serious stuff together and we were both unhappy about where we were in our lives while we were together.
    I have been trying to go no contact for quite some time now but I fail every now and then. I have deleted him from Facebook, I have deleted his contact information, I have even deleted Facebook so that I wouldn’t be tempted but somehow I found ways to reach him. I miss him terribly and he told me he needed time and space to focus on himself and we would reassess in a few months. I refuse for this relationship to be over and I feel like I haven’t moved on a tiny bit since we broke up 6 months ago. I have decided to start working out, move apartments, plan a big trip… but somehow the only person I really want to share my stories with is him. I am flying through Vancouver (where he now lives) in August and I thought I would text him for a quick coffee at the airport. I hope he will want to see me, I really do. I need some sort of closure and if not, a way to reconnect.

    • Peeka September 8, 2017, 2:18 pm

      Hey Cecile,
      I can relate to your story so much, especially this part: “I have decided to start working out, move apartments, plan a big trip… but somehow the only person I really want to share my stories with is him.”
      I feel the exact same thing – I have done steps towards making myself better, yet everything that happens in my life I want to share with him.
      Your post is from the beginning of this summer-how are you doing now?

  • Sammy June 2, 2017, 11:54 am

    I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 8 months. It was going great until about March or April. We would start bickering over little things and it started to happen not every time we went out but the majority of the time. One night after a fight he said it just wasn’t fun anymore and he thought we should take a break. Little did I know that a break meant breaking up. After three days I contacted to get some clarity on what was going on. I told him that I knew I had a lot to work on and I was willing to do it. I told him that I am fine with spending sometime apart but at some point we are going to need to come together and work on our issues. That conversation (mostly with me crying like I just lost the love of my life b/c i did) ended with him saying he just doesn’t think we are good for each other and not even considering working on it later. But he says he that it doesn’t mean that he never wants to see me again and still wants to be friend. Is my situation even salvageable? PLEASE HELP! I am willing to do whatever it takes to not just get him back but truly work things out. We talked about a life together and having kids and that is something I want with him. I know everyone says it but I know he is the person I am meant to spend my life with. I have tried other websites but I am just not financially in a place where I can just buy a step by step book.

  • Lynn June 1, 2017, 10:35 am

    Help! I’ve been dating a guy for about 4 months. He’s an attorney, so time together is rare but we make a point to see each other once a week, usually on the weekends and usually an overnight date. When he’s super busy, he says he at least wants to do dinner. Then one day he decided to break things off. Days after we were planning future dates. He says maybe we can get back together in the future because I’m “so perfect” but for now it’s indefinite because at this point in life, he’s too busy focusing on work to give me the attention he wants to give me even though I was totally ok with how things were going.

    He says I can text him about work stuff since we work together at different companies. But I rarely see him. Is he really busy or just not that into
    Me? Should I just move on or wait it out a bit? I want to get him back but don’t know if it’s worth it!

  • Olivia May 31, 2017, 12:59 pm

    Hi, I just need some advice, couple of month ago me and my boyfriend had a big argument and he ended up texting someone else for sex and that, nothing happened but intentions was there and from then on things just got bad. After that we tried to sort things as he said he did but my trust of him had gone and I felt he was saying the right stuff but wasn’t proving anything. It has got to the point now I couldn’t take anymore of how I was feeling and called it a day for good about a week ago, since then I haven’t heard anything from him but I do miss him and all I wanted was him to show me he cared and wanted me back.. just wondered what I should do? I do love him but after everything he’s done it doesn’t make sense to me anyway

  • hybeekay May 29, 2017, 12:53 pm

    Hi I met dis guy Oct 1st 2015 tru my best friend I didn’t actually liked him at first but into it I began to fall in love with him. We discussed abt it n e promised to love me and b a beta man for me. We loved each other xo much we couldn’t stay without seeing each other. A year after d relationship I noticed e stopped calling n neva replied my messages. If we had any misunderstanding he won’t want to talk about it n e started changing from den. Early January this year I asked him if we were still in a relationship n e broke up with me saying e needed space that I was too possessive. From January till nw have called to beg him or do things like pray n fast but he doesn’t even wants to hear my name he hates me xo much n despite d hate I still love him Ave promised to b beta if e just accepts me back but e calls me desperate n obsessive. I really miss him n I always feel as if my hrt is going to explode. Please I need advice on how to get him back or on how to forget him and move on. Tanks

  • honey May 27, 2017, 2:59 am

    Hi tq for this post
    I am honey …last 5 month ago my bf did broke up with me ..I requested him I need u ..but he said he not need .but he said I talk nd treat u but as a frnd.if I am in any problem he solving that problem whn I ask him y u solved my problem he saying ur my frnd. And without knows anyone he taking cares me ..sometimes he scolding me ..he saying don’t behave like childish .we both have lots of memory. I am saying myself don’t think Abt him ..but I can stop myself I am always thinking abt him..but he said he forgot everything. ..he not thinking ..it’s easy for boys ha to forgot .
    I don’t know he want me or not .

  • Lanna May 24, 2017, 12:41 pm

    Do these strategies/tips apply for non-formal exes? What I mean by this is, for a guy whom you never officially dated but had a really amazing connection with? My personal situation was that I had “met” a guy online on a non-dating website. We got into a conversation and it quickly escalated into daily, almost constant communication. He lived in another country and doesn’t have social media – the way we met was really a fluke as it wasn’t a typical social media setting. Anyways, we connected pretty deeply really quickly. He would say things like he had never been able to have a conversation with another girl like me before, and how he could talk to me all day. His lifestyle was one where he works CONSTANTLY, and as such he never really had a real girlfriend or relationship, but despite that he was very sweet and would write me very long emails. We would talk about everything – it was mostly an intellectual/emotional connection. I have been in a long term deteriorating relationship for years now, and he knew this and still expressed that if I made the decision to leave he wanted to date me and we even talked about marriage. It was all very fast, we probably moved too fast in the things we talked about but I really think we had a real connection. Anyways I ended up making the moves to split with my current relationship, and when I told this guy he seemed happy about it. But because my situation is complicated and my partner was making things very difficult for me, and simultaneously, this other guy was having problems with work and was busier and busier, I started to get needy and anxious and would tell him too much about my problems with my partner. This guy was always very sweet and listened to me, but over the course of a few weeks I could feel him pulling back and instead of giving him space I got more needy. We had had plans to meet, but I told him I wanted him to see me when I was strong and not vulnerable. He expressed happiness that I felt this way and he was confident in my ability to be strong, but then I got more anxious again and kept pressing about meeting (he lives in another country). He said yes he wanted to meet still,but I sensed that he was saying this to make me feel better and he was feeling a little hesitant about it at the time because of how anxious I had been acting. Over the course of the following two weeks, we communicated less but he would still check in with me every few days and had mentioned it would be hard for him to meet me because there was only one day which I could do so, but he said he was doing his best. He also informed me at the time that he had had a major financial loss at work and I knew he was very stressed. The next day he told me he had booked a flight, but it was refundable and he wasn’t positive he could be on it because of work issues but he’d let me know by Friday. Well on Thursday night, I f**d everything up. I sent him a message saying I had been thinking and now probably wasn’t the best time to meet considering how much of a mess I was and all he had going on with work. I told him I was glad his tickets were refundable and that I was sure we could meet another time. Well on Friday I didn’t get a response all day, so I sent a message that night saying I hoped he didn’t take what I had said wrong, and that I was happy he had made an effort by buying tickets but that I just felt bad when he was dealing with so much. No response that day, Saturday, or Sunday. By the time Sunday rolled around I had no clue what was going on and I sent about four messages throughout the day asking if he was still coming and that I was stressed not knowing. No response. Then the day before we were supposed to meet, I sent him a long message basically flipping out – asking how could he do this, I thought he was a gentleman, and that I simply didn’t have the emotional capacity to wait for his messages anymore, but I hoped he would be happy. Then I sent another message a few hours later, admitting that I knew I had bombarded him with too many messages and mixed messages and that I knew I was all over the place, and how I wished we could have met after I was independent and after he had dated and they everything would have been magical. I also said I wished the best for him and wanted him to be happy and that I would no longer anticipate hearing from him.

    Well that was about a month and a half ago. I haven’t received a response from him since the last message he had sent about booking a flight. During the time all this was going on, he also had deleted his profile/account that we had met on (and he had hundreds of followers).

    I know that I was too needy, all over the place, and gave him too many mixed messages. I also know he was beyond stressed at work, not sleeping much, and he really had always been very patient and sweet to me – and that was probably the straw that broke the camel’s back.

    Because we only communicated through email and weren’t connected on social accounts, (he was also a very private person, something we both shared similar views about), I have no way of knowing what’s going on his life and no way of finding out other than communicating through email.

    People I have told this to have told me to just forget about him, that he wasn’t even real, but I don’t believe that and I am having a hard time just letting it go. I know we had a special connection, and there is a part of me that is still holding on and hoping there is a chance down the road for us to at least be friends, but I am afraid I completely ruined it. I was wrong for how I acted but he also did ghost and bail on me, so my question is – do I reach out to him again and acknowledge that I f**d up with my crazy behavior?? Do I try to make it right? Or do I give it more time and then try? Or do I wait for him? Part of me feels like I may never hear from him again if I don’t reach out, but the other part of me thinks that he knows that I feel horrible and I shouldn’t reach out to him because it still hasn’t been enough time.

    I just don’t know if I should completely let this go, or if I should follow the advice in this article. Either way, I do need to work on myself and I need to be able to be independent and amazing – this was part of the shakiness, I am not independent and I know I need to be if I want a real relationship.

    But when do I know it’s time to completely move on? How much time do I let pass? Do I go like 6 months, and then reach out and say hi how are you? The problem is, if I am constantly “waiting” for him to reach out to me, and it never happens, how the hell am I able to move on? How do I know whether to initiate something? Is it even possible he still thinks about me?

  • melissa May 23, 2017, 11:40 pm

    So over the long weekend my boyfriend comes down to visit me. He lives 2 hours away. he came down the saturday afternoon and everything was going great. On Monday morning, i could hear zippers zipping up downstairs at 9am. I woke up and saw him packing his clothes. he told me he wanted to get home to workout and go for a run. I asked him if he wanted anything to eat and he just said “no i want to get going.” Before he left he said goodbye to me and stared at me for the longest time. I asked him if anything was wrong, and he replied back saying “no everything is fine dont worry”. I knew something was up with the way he just looked me. He hugged me goodbye and left. When he got back home i got a phone call. He called and said he was not good and we needed to talk. He stated that “I am a beautiful girl, and the best girlfriend he has had, but he doesnt see us getting married, he doesnt see me in his future.” He has been depressed lately because of his job, but I had no clue this was going to happen. There was no signs showing a breakup since we never really had problems. We had a great weekend, and then he goes home and calls me to break up with me. It does not make sense? Anyone have any suggestions or reasons why he all of a sudden did this to me?

  • Claire Grant May 23, 2017, 7:35 am

    So me and my were long distance. Not too far away from each other tho, about 4 hours. I had just accepted a job in the city he lives in and was all set for moving down and four days later he broke up with me. We both had our fair share of emotional baggage, which i didn’t think affected our relationship that much. His ex was mentally abusive towards him and he didn’t seek any counselling after it ended and we got together 4 months later. I was worried about his behaviour that I looked at his phone to see if there was something going on but I found nothing. I admitted it to him though cause I didn’t want their to be any lies in the relationship and he didn’t seem bothered. But obviously he was. He kept it hidden for months instead of shouting at me, which I would have accepted. We both did wrong in some ways, he wasn’t good with communicating before I looked at his phone. But I do feel like this isn’t over in some way.

  • Aj May 22, 2017, 1:38 pm

    I forgot to add when we lived with his sister they would get into it and he would let it out on me then when we lived with his friend I would get upset and mad at him and let it out on him. When we moved in with my mom he was upset and stayed in the room all the time

  • Aj May 22, 2017, 1:37 pm

    So me and my ex- bf were together for over a year and half. We moved in after 5 months dating with his sister and her bf close to the end of the lease we started arguing, then we moved in with his friend and his gf. All he started to do was nap a lot and play his computer with his friend all the time. He cut down on being sexual active with me and we would get into petty arguments over stupid stuff. We only had a 6 month lease with them. Then we moved in with my mother she needed help and I know he didn’t want to but be did it because my mother needed it. Well ever since we moved in are fights became more frequent and he started to get even less sexual active with me…. It hurt and I would get mad at him all the time and we would dight all the time. Then it got worse when he completely stopped being sexual active. In not obbsessing over sex but that’s what two people do to show emotion and physical attraction. Well he barely talked to me and I had to start begging for him to even hangout with me. Are lease was almost up and we were planning on moving out together then one night I asked are we getting a place together still and he kept saying idk idk then I asked him do you still want to be with me and he said idk( I was hurt by this ) so I asked him again a yes or no answer and he pauses and quietly said no. I asked him if he could please leave and he did. Then the next day he grabbed some clothes and his computer and told me to give him time. I told him over a month ago that I loved him and he couldnt say it back he didnt say anything just that he knew I loved him.I’m so heart broken I didn’t talk to him for 4 days then finally I couldnt wait any longer to talk. We met up and talked he started getting mad and yelling at me saying how come I didnt see it or why it took so long for me to be willing to change and not get so mad all the time( I forgot to add that he’s not really emotional and doesn’t talk about him feelings a lot he keeps alot to him self) he got upset and startes to get out of my car and I grabbed his arm crying and pleading please don’t go and he said he had to. I about panicked I hopped out of my car into his and sat on his lap crying my eyes out telling him I loved him and he means so much to me he said he cares about me a lot and I was like I love you and he said I love you to for the first time ever. I said I was sorry it didnt go the way things were he said he needs time for him self. He needs to work on things alone I asked why cant we work together and he said no he has to do this by himself. I was so heart broken I sat on his lap crying telling him how much I care about him and telling him I dont want you to do this and he said he didnt want to do this but he had to. He told me we can still be friends and that we will hangout I also asked him if once in a while he would come stay the night(just lay there not do anything) and he said yes. I told him maybe its best if were friends and work back to the way we were and he said yes. He told me he has hope for is later but not right now. (I asked him if he missed me the 4 days we didn’t talk and he said yes.)He said he had to go and I grabbed him and hugged him and told him I love him so much and he was like I love you so much to. He hugged me tightly back and I asked him if he could wait till I left first and he said yes. That night I texted him told him I loved him and that I will always be here for him he replied same goes for you I hope you know that.
    I havent talked to him since then and this happened saturday im so hurt and I cant stop crying. He told me give him a week before we start talking again. (How do I deal with this???)I dont know what to do I can’t stop thinking about him and I keep checking my phone for him to text me. Does he miss me? He told me hes there for me but how can I talk to him if its about us he knows how I feel and he still left in hurt so much its killing me I havent been able to eat or sleep properly…. I don’t wanna wait but I know I have to I cant get him out of my mind. His close friend told me we were around each other to much and said we just need time apart. Everyone I talk to tells me give him space he misses me and thinks we will get back together. Its so hard from one point seeing him every day talking every day to nothing at all. I want him back so bad. It hurts so much and I don’t know what to do all I can do is give him time and wait for him to talk to me again…. Please any advise or what you think will help me.

  • Chris A May 21, 2017, 2:45 pm

    So im a guy, and my gf of 2 years broke up with me. Im so in love with her that i would marry her if i could. Im 23, ahe is 21. The whole problem is that she is young and curious and i was her first everything…. now the hard part is that she wants to see how other people treat her, she met a giy at her job and they kissed and im broken up over it but i still love her all the same. We ended on really good terms and im happy she is just so honest with me. She has always been like that, she didnt want to hurt me in the relationship so she thought this was the best course. She loves me to death and she always tells me that she wishes she lived her life before she met me so we can be happy now. I believe her bc she has always told me this. Now its summer, school ended and she is going to mexico with her family for a whole month. I would love nothing more than to just be with her. Idk why but i have a this strong feeling we will get back together in the future. Ohhh and btw she said that i should live my life and not just wait around. She is so perfect and caring its hard to just let that go. Should i go the summer without talking with her? Everyone tells me to just leave her, but my heart and my mind knows what it wants. I wouldnt want another relationship or anything serious with anyone else unless it was with her. If you need any more info just ask. Thank you

  • Erraticbeauty May 19, 2017, 8:36 pm

    Hi.. My ex-boyfriend and I were in a LDR since end of 2014 and I cut off with him mid last year. The relationship was pretty turbulent but our feelings were passionate and intense. The reason for the ultimate disconnection was something he did. Since, I have not contacted him nor has he reached out to me – it’s almost going to be 10 months. I have been living my life – the past 6 months had me pretty preoccupied abroad even though he has been in my heart and mind. I still care about him deeply. I haven’t been productive these past few weeks as I was in the 6 months and that has me thinking even more about us. I miss him a lot. I have found myself doing what I can to know his current state via social media – his recent posts reflect sadness. What I would like to know is – is it possible for him to reach out to me after not having done so all these months, or is it unlikely? I feel like our story isn’t over and that he too still has me in his heart. I just find myself hoping that I will hear from him. He was blocked most of this time and I recently unblocked him. Answers and suggestions will be appreciated. I feel life is short, but I don’t wish to initiate any contact because rightfully he ought to reach out to me.

  • NoName99 May 17, 2017, 6:37 pm

    Because if you can get past the 66 day mark, then you will be golden. Takes 66 days to form a new habit. You will have just formed a new habit of not initiating contact with him first.

  • Jessica May 17, 2017, 4:53 am

    This article is great.
    I’ve been in a LDR with a guy over a year. At the beginning, he was interested in me. We had fun together and our conversations was deep. After that, I was unhappy with a little bit time he spent to our relationship so that I emailed him and telling him my true feeling that I was unhappy beacause he didn’t put me in his priority. He told me he was busy with new job, it’s difficult to have space time to talk. How about this: “one of us talk when we have something new or important thing to say…”. I was angry and didn’t contact him anymore. During 8 weeks no contact with him, I miss him so much. I still have strong feeling for him. But he didn’t text, call, email me. I’m feeling bad but I don’t want to lose myself. Truly, I want to get him back but I don’t want to contact him first. What can I do, I really don’t know.

    • NoName99 May 17, 2017, 6:27 pm

      I know this is very difficult, but just continue what you are doing and do not initiate contact with him first. However, if it as already been eight weeks with him not nudging you, then he does not deserve you anyway. Or else give it a last shot and try contacting him now, and if you all get back together then switch your position. Act like you do not care how often you see him. Use reverse psychology on him.

      • Jessica June 3, 2017, 2:27 am

        Thanks for your advice.

        More than two months no contact rule I followed, however, he didn’t initiate contact me, and I don’t try to contact him either more. I want to get him back but my though that he does not deserve, so I try to find the best way to get over him as soon as posible.

  • Fiona May 7, 2017, 7:28 am

    Had a break up of after about 6 years. Nothing horrible just was because of stress and no communication. He was amazing though. He broke up with me and the whole time it seemed I was the one trying to fix things. Suggest options to help us. Basically it didn’t work I was even more sad trying and him not . We kept trying a few things here and there but it didn’t work. It’s just he never suggested anything so idk maybe he really didn’t know. But we eventually ended it all 100%. I’d been trying to have fun not worry or stress and be a better me than I was. Fix things and be happy worry about me. I have met some new friends too buts it’s just friends. If I had a picture of a guys friend on social media with me is that bad? I was not trying to do anything wrong or cause any upset I was just having fun is all, it was just a goofy picture that has an inside story of how I’m ditzy. Hahaa that is all. I’m just making friends and having fun. But is that something I shouldn’t have done? If it was vice versa I’d be upset and wonder but I’d try to not assume something I don’t know unless there are more pictures of that person or it looked like they were together.

    • Fiona May 7, 2017, 7:32 am

      *a guys guy friend

      And we also recently saw each other..my ex and we talked a bit, and I hugged him..he knows I miss him and feel the same way because after I saw him we talked a bit and I told him because I thought I should so he knows, but after that our talking ended there, he said he missed me but that was it didn’t know what else he should do.

  • Rebecca May 1, 2017, 10:20 pm

    I hadn’t seen my boyfriend in 3 weeks. It seemed he was communicating less and less so I called him and he said he would call me back. He didn’t so the next morning I sent him a text stating it seemed like he wanted to break up so I would let him go. He wrote back that he didn’t want to break up, that his feelings hadn’t changed. That work had just been extremely stressful. He asked if we could get together to talk about it and suggested a day. I wrote him back in agreement I meet and talk. He never wrote back and wouldn’t answer my call. He ghosted me and after a month I unfriended and blocked him on Facebook. I miss him and I’m sure he’s missing me. Or was I played ? What should I do? LEt him go?

    • NoName99 May 17, 2017, 6:30 pm

      As hard as it is, just ignore him. Do not initiate contact with him anymore. Give it 65 days, and see what he does.

    • NoName99 May 17, 2017, 6:42 pm

      also, yes I am pretty sure he was just testing his ego to see if you were still interested.

  • Meghan April 30, 2017, 11:54 am

    Me and my boyfriend Jay have been together for almost two years. In the beginning it was great, no arguing, nothing of that sort. Once we hit 10 months we started arguing really bad about little things and mostly about seeing eachother all the time, about a month after the arguing started he broke up with me, well a lot happened blah blah and then we got back together over a month after the breakup… well it’s happened again now. Now we are at our two year mark and the same thing has happened. He broke up with me last Tuesday and we have not spoke since then. He has blocked me off everything, I have no clue what is going on. I do know that he broke up with me because we were together all the time, we argued a lot, he said that I needed to ” change “. Since Tuesday I have been trying my hardest to change and improve myself to show him that I really do care about our relationship. I want to give him his space and time but i don’t know if he will ever talk to me again, how long it will take, or if he wants to be with me. We have been together a long time and I’m just so upset and confused. I don’t know if this is over for good..

    • NoName99 May 17, 2017, 6:54 pm

      I know you feel so confused, and hurt right now. As hard as it is, you need to stay focused on you. Act aloof to him. Give it 65 days. If you do not hear any word from him within 65 days, well then, chances are you will have your answer.

  • Laurie Davis April 27, 2017, 8:34 pm


  • Mary April 25, 2017, 6:35 pm

    So me and my boyfriend live together for about a year now. We were dating for almost 3 years. He broke up with me few days ago. I’m still at his house. We haven’t talked at all but when he gets home and lays down with me in bed. He hugs me so hard and doesn’t let go until he falls asleep. That’s all we been doing after we broke up. What does it mean? Reason we broke up is because he claims he isn’t happy and that he doesn’t know who he is anymore

    • Kait May 10, 2017, 9:22 am

      Same thing happened to me a few days ago. We have been on and off dating for 7 years and this last time, we were actually together for almost four solid years. He’s been having a tough time with work and we were having troubles with finances. I came home one day and he asked if I ever questioned our relationship. I knew it was coming, I googled “how to tell if your boyfriend is going to break up with you” just a few days before. I have not contacted him unless it was something about moving out (we were living together about 8 months and I’ve already moved back into my parent’s house) I have been obsessively scouring the web on ways to get your boyfriend back and it means a lot to me that other people are going through the same thing right now. If you ever need to talk, I am here.

      • Marian May 17, 2017, 3:15 am

        Same thing happened to me ! We’ve been together for a year and a half , on and off and we finally broke up

  • Mary April 25, 2017, 6:17 pm

    So me and my boyfriend live together for about a year now. We were dating for almost 3 years. He broke up with me few days ago. I’m still at his house. We haven’t talked at all but when he gets home and lays down with me in bed. He hugs me so hard and doesn’t let go until he falls asleep. That’s all we been doing after we broke up. What does it mean?

    • Sarah April 29, 2017, 12:46 pm

      Hey Mary, I am going through the same thing. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost three years (three years this upcoming May), and he tore my heart into shreds because he’s not “happy” and like you said- doesn’t know who he is anymore. We are on the same boat. If you ever need someone to talk to, just reply and I will give you my email address. Good luck. Xx.
      – Sarah

      • Cynthia May 5, 2017, 1:39 pm

        I was with my ex for 8 years and he broke up with me two months ago. He said he doesn’t know who he is or why his feelings for me disappeared. He already has feelings for someone else and thinks she could be the one. I feel like I wasted 8 years of my life.

  • Rob April 23, 2017, 9:56 am

    Hi, I met this guy by chance in December and we fell deeply for each other all was going well, we were talking every day and seeing each other at least once a month. Then out of the blue he says it hurts too much when I leave and we should no longer see each other and be friends and see what happens when I move near him. I am out of the country at the moment but move back in 3 months time. I am devastated and as I’m now only away for a short period don’t understand it. He keep liking my Facebook as I’ve started to do th pimp up Facebook every one says to do, at first I did the emotional texts but even though it’s hard I don’t do that now. I keep getting texts from him saying sorry and also please do hate me…. I did respond to that saying I would never hate him as due to the distance I didn’t want him to think that. I just need some advice here as I feel we were the right people at the wrong time and will the no contact rule work in this situation. Thanks for your help

    • NoName99 May 17, 2017, 7:12 pm

      So this guy initiated this breakup because you were leaving the country for three months. Is that correct. I would try the no contact rule for 65 days, before it becomes a habit at 66 days. See if he initiates contact within the 65 days, and that will determine if you both were right for each other in the first place.

  • Sandra April 21, 2017, 1:54 am

    I’ve just broken up with him and….we still live together! How am I supposed to not stay in touch etc if we share a house? We have issues and we both need time to tackle them separately. We feel there is a chance for us to be together in the future but if we were to stay together right now, things would go very bad… So, in order to salvage the feelings and fondness we had before the problem cropped up, we’ve decided to separate. BUT we live together…!!! How can I make him miss me if we’re flatmates? :/

  • Maggie April 13, 2017, 11:19 pm

    My ex went through depression for 10 years because his ex left him. They were only together for 6 months. We were together for 2.5 years. Had a lot of problems towards the end and pretty much dragged it out for a lot longer than we should’ve, but I didn’t think we would end things because he always talked about wanting to be with me and never gave any hint that he wanted to end things. Then out of nowhere he completely cut me out of his life. Blocked me on everything. Didn’t even break up with me. I reached out to him and demanded answers and he told me that he hated me and he never wanted to talk to me again. I have no idea what’s going on and I probably never will. It’s been almost a month and I haven’t heard from him except for one email about getting some of his stuff back. I think maybe it is possible to hate your ex because I’m pretty damn sure he hates me. He was never a good communicator and he bottled everything up. It seems as though he tried to make the relationship work for so long until his feelings went away and he couldn’t stand it any longer. He never actually said this though. He just acted on it without saying a word.

    • Maggie April 13, 2017, 11:20 pm

      He also said that he had already moved on a week after he had done this. I don’t think someone can move on so quickly unless they really don’t like you.

      • Jude April 14, 2017, 9:12 pm

        No sounds like he has borderline personality disorder. Google it. He got too close to you and ouldnt handle it. Better iff without him.

  • Jenn April 9, 2017, 10:02 pm

    My guy and I were together for a year. I broke up with him. My daughter and his niece are close friends, and he told me he didn’t want them to not be friends, because of our breakup. he informed me that if I have any car issues to not hesitate to call him. What does all of this mean.

    • NoName99 May 17, 2017, 6:14 pm

      He is still trying to see if there is any hope that you will initiate connect again with him.

  • Devansh Gupta April 9, 2017, 11:44 am

    My ex broke up with me beacuse of silly reasons because she was afraid that I might hurt her in the future(she’s very sensitive). I tried many things to get her back and she always said no which made me frustrated. Therefore I said to her that I don’t want to watch your face anymore. We haven’t talked since then. But sometimes she looks at me when I’m not looking and I can tell she still loves me. Is there any way that we can get back together.

    P.S. She also had some trust issues due to her previous relationship.

  • Claudette Nation April 6, 2017, 12:36 am

    My and I dated for two and a half months. Hi ex girlfriend of 7 years never stopped texting him. He just wouldn’t tell me. I was going through a lot with my two teenage kids at the time. But I helped him out a lot. We had some good times. His parents and friends love me. The ex girlfriend has put him out of her parents house several times. He and I would still have sex once in a while. He told me, he knows I love him, although am the one who told him lets breakup. The girlfriend takes his phone, to know if we’ve been in touch with each other. She would even text me saying he does not want me.

  • haenu April 4, 2017, 7:00 am

    hi, thanks for your advice
    my boyfriends and i broke up 2 days ago and our relationship lasted for over 7 months. we argued about 2 months ago because my guy friend gave me a ride to school, he got jealous and couldn’t stop thinking about it. so 2 months later when this had been forgotten, he said he wanted to put a stop to this relationship, out of the blue. he broke up with me but still said he loved me and that he still cared. i didn’t know what happened to him and i told him to stop contact me for a while to see if he still need me. he still has our pictures and pictures he took me with his camera on his facebook and instagram. he said i was important to him so he didn’t want to stop seeing me or deleting those picture. it confuses me and probably this relationship confused him. what should i do? i really want him back, i don’t want to end like this.

  • Jessica March 28, 2017, 1:01 am

    Hey there my ex broke up with me a 2 days ago and he said that he still wanted me in his life because he loved me but didn’t feel like there was anything there anymore. Now we had a little fight and he didn’t text me for two days and only texted me because I texted him. His response was that he wanted to break up and we talked about it in person and came to a conclusion together even though it was obvious I didn’t want to break up inket him go because that’s what he needed. We texted a bit before I went to hangout with some friends after we got done breaking up and I changed my relationship status to single but he hasn’t. He hasn’t even changed his profile pic of us? And I know he’s online all the time I can see it so what’s up does he just not care all that much about what it says am I over thinking it a little too much?

  • flowerinmay March 22, 2017, 12:42 pm

    hi, Thanks so much for your post…
    I just broke up with my bf, I am from Asian and he is from Germany, I met him online, he is 8 years older than me , I am 29, I had been dating him for 2 months, but we had kinda 4 breakups already, always for the same issue…I doubt his love to me and he didnt have enough time for me , mainly he didn’t text me much, and did’t reply my text well either, it took him hours to reply my text and he a lot of times ignore what I said if i was saying some expressions or complaints…

    While every time I tried to break up with him , he would response and tried to explain and convince me to stay with him , I DO like him , so i went to him almost very soon after we broke up through text, but the last time , i told him I didnt love him anymore, as I didnt want him to convince me again and i would go back again ..I felt very suffering and even angry, and insecure when he didnt response my texts or he didnt sent me text in the morning and before he sleeps….I would cry for hours and I couldn’t sleep well either, and I COULD NOT concentrate on my study either ( last year of PhD, time and focus is very important to me)

    I think I was spoiled by my ex ex , who 100% put me in the center of his life, phone was 24 hours open for me , but I broke up with him many many times, while, finally I broke up with him because we had been in different countries for more than 3 years…

    But I guess I still like my ex, and I MISS him, while honestly I am more peaceful than when I WAS being with him, I do wanna be with him and marry him , he is a handsome, sweet, smart and successfully man. we already talked about marriage stuffs, we agreed we were both looking for life partner before we dated. And am also worried that he is actually annoyed by me saying breaking up so much and doesn’t wanna with him, and or he just wants the advantages of having a girlfriends, while we haven’t slept with each other…

    My questions are:

    1. Should I try to be with him again ? or I just need to move on to date more guys and find what I like? I am not loving him to the degree that I have to be with him, even 1 week ago, i thought I love him more that i do now..
    2. If i get back to be with him again, there is high chance we will break up again, as he cannot fulfill my expectations, as i am actually needy sometimes.
    3. If I wanna be with him again, what should I do to let him feel i wont break up with him easily , let him put more efforts on me ? when I should tell him that I wanna be with him again, as he still says he loves me… I deleted his Facebook, what’s up stuffs to stop myself contacting him..



  • Noah March 17, 2017, 11:51 pm

    Ex texted me to say merry Christmas Day before Christmas and I ignored. Texted me few weeks later to ask about her daughter who spent night but I ignored(wasn’t an emergency). Then day before Valentine’s Day, email me saying she may have cancer, I lost it and contacted and talked for little while. What do I do now. Been month

  • Patty March 17, 2017, 12:04 pm

    I need help it’s been about 2 weeks since we broke up noone cheated on anyone.
    He got mad over something stupid and he broke the car window. And blamed me and ever since it’s been messed up he says he never wNts to be w me and he told someone that he feels like he wants to shoot himself aNd that I am controlling I don’t mean to come off like that he has sat and sun off thats a ll the time for my kid and I to spend time w him. What do I do he tells my kid their is nothing to do about it plz I can’t loose him

    • NoName99 May 17, 2017, 6:16 pm

      Who initiated the break up. You, or him.

  • Veera March 16, 2017, 12:50 am

    So it was never an official relationship. But we had been dating regularly for about a month. Quite a lot of phone/ text contact. The vibe was easy, flirty, and really quite open and emotional too. He was so comfortable with me. He shared so much of himself and his thoughts and his feelings. We both agreed that we would just take it slow and easy and see how things develop. Then one night I stayed over, and we had sex, but it was really awkward. Just before he got really upset with me and told me that he thought I was a tease and making him feel desperate and needy. I was just being playful and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to sleep with him that night. Actually I didnt really. But he got mad and told me that he thought I was playing games and somehow I panicked and slept with him. But it was not good. Anyway, I felt depressed the next day, and told him about it. (MISTAKE) which i redeemed later and after a few days things were ok again. But he wouldn’t call me as frquently and he stopped being warm when he did contact me. He used to call me princess and sweetheart. All that stopped. So I got nervous. He would call me once a week to say he was super busy and didn’t have time to meet (this is true because of his job) but I thought he was making excuses not to see me. And I kept asking him. And then I asked him one night and it turned into an argument that went on till 2am and the next day he sent me a text to say that it was his last text to me for a while and that we shoudl just be friends and get a peaceful closure on things. So I called and agreed and said yes, but I also reminded him that it wasn’t like we were a couple anyway, and that we were just friends anyway. And I mentioned that I might be moving away really soon ( i had a job interview which required me to relocate, incidentally I didnt get it,but at the time I hadnt told anyone) so he said that he didn’t know and he asked me twice to let him know how it went. That was three weeks ago and I havent’ been in touch. I didnt call him on his birthday, and i havent told him about my interview. But I miss him everyday. Im working on becoming my best self. BUt I really want to be close to him. I miss him. Do I have a chance, or has he lost the attraction for me?

  • Caz March 8, 2017, 3:04 pm

    I broke up the day before valantine day he wasn’t affectionate and he pushed me away he was with his ex four years she cheated on him twice he met me six month into his break up we talked about me not beinga rebound got into a relationship then he was seeing his step daughters who wanted him to get back with his ex we were having problems because he was pulling away and he said he was still raw over his ex s of I said let’s have some space I was really raw I have gave him chances for him to go back I’d she who he wants inmin love with him and tempted to msg him as I haven’t heard from him it’s nearly a month we were together 6 months

  • Vixengal February 24, 2017, 7:56 am

    I need help. I absolutely love this blog because it gives me hope. My situation I feel is a tad more delicate. My (ex) and I were dating for about 2 years prior and though we had our ups and downs we always came out of them. I moved away due to (life) but I planned on coming back for him. In the process of living somewhere else I lost myself and I dropped off the face of the earth to and for him. I mean it, I stopped talking, calling, texting you name it. He would call and I would just ignore. I never actually “broke up with him”. 6 months went by and I gave him a ring, decided to contact him, I didn’t think it was that terrible at the time as we always got over things and although he reached out back to me I could tell things were different. He as more distant and recently told me it aaa because I had hurt him and he is nervous about my intentions now. I have done the routine spill out my heart to him, swear up and down I would never make this mistake again as I often have done this before just to people because well I’m not perfect and obviously an idiot dealing with issues the wrong way. Anyway, I don’t want to loose this guy. He means so much to me, I feel like if we fixed things we would make it out even stronger. What do I do in this scenario? We’ve talked and he’s told me he doesn’t know what he wants at the moment because I left for so long he got used to me not being around and now that I’m back it’s going to take time getting used too. He’s also said he’s not sure of his feelings about me but he also doesn’t want to just say goodbye because he’s not sure if that is what he wants as well. He wants me to take it day by day and just see how things play out. He is at least honest and says he knows it’s not fair to me so if I wanted to walk away he would understand. I don’t want to walk away. I want to get him back. I’m not sure of the outcome and I’m really freaking scared. Some outside advice please. From anyone. Thoughts?
    Signed, SadGal

    • NoName99 May 17, 2017, 6:20 pm

      As hard as it is, just take it day by day. For at least 65 days try and act consistent with what you said. And let him do most of the initiating during those 65 days.

  • Ananya January 22, 2017, 6:40 am

    It’s just that he has a lot of misunderstandings and does not want to clear them out. He’s not ready to talk….He recently said that he still loves me but he thinks hat i was backbitching about him and it was just not true
    I really love him and want him back
    What should I do??

  • sally January 11, 2017, 9:45 pm

    Love your blog!! My boyfriend and I recently broke up after our vegas trip which we took for new years everything was so amazing up until the day before we left… then all hell broke loose he told me once we get home to go grab all my stuff from his house never contact him ever again to just leave him alone because he wants to start the new year single and just focus on him self…we’ve had many break ups before but I know deep down he has a very soft heart and has a super soft spot for me only knowing this because I was the only women who ever took so much care of him and gave him so much attention and love and spoiled him…first!! When we landed he was happy the same day we landed was my birthday…and I had got and huge cold within the 2 day time frame so once we landed I drove him home and no everything was fine laughing talking normal when I dropped him off he came to my window and kissed my hand and said feel better and walked away….so I drove off went home….the next day I was super sick with a cold still he came over with a bag of my stuff…an box of tissues….and a birthday cake which made me cry then sang me happy birthday by my bed and let me blow out the candles…we shared a peice and then he went home but just before he left i said i have the body wash and conditioner you can take it home and he replied but your never coming over again you keep it…couple days later I wasn’t feeling the greatest almost fainted in the shower so i called him and asked him to take me to emergency he did….everything was okay at the hospital in was told when in got my room to remove everything but panties and wear the gown….so I did and asked him to tie the back of the gown for me when he stood up I was turned so he stood behind me and I felt that he had a hard on so if started to laugh….after the whole hospital situation I thought we were okay….so I started asking him on the way home why can’t we be together after skinny focus together and things escalated and when I left the car we were in a huge fight he told me don’t call me text me leave me alone for good I don’t need drama or stress that’s afterskingndll you are….so I’d left it’s been a week almost since we talked and yesterday he sent me a msg asking how I was feeling and if i had been eating…so i replied felling much better and I eat when I remember because of my job…. he said I still love you I said love you to and then at night he had called me so is picked up he said is miss you do you miss me? I said yeah kept it very neutral today he called me but is didn’t answer so is sent him a text saying call u in 45 getting a facial done he replied it’s ok I just had a question…so I replied what’s up he never answered so when I was done I tried calling back twice he never answered so I sent a msg and said can’t answer now? ? So later on I had fell asleep and woke up around 8 with a horrible bad dream so ih sent him a text because that’s what I always used to do or call him….and said had a bad dream thought id text you don’t mind this msg….he replied maybe 10 minutes after saying it’s ok I love you….so I replied love you to…then he replied 10 minutes later saying miss me? And that’s when I stopped msging him…is did want to give him the satisfaction of saying yes I do….so he sent another msg saying ok….then another after saying….want to come over tonight chill and watch a movie? As bad as I wanted to say yes I didn’t. …and now I need help in want him back but he’s so rude and mean sometimes…. when he gets into his moods….but I love him when he’s not in any bad moods and he can be the most amazing person ever!!! What do I do!!! Please help!!

  • Mechie December 30, 2016, 10:39 am

    Well I’m here cause just last night my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me..he cheated on me in the past and just kelp denies that he did..it was a dark cloud hanging over our relationship every since then ..cause I couldn’t trust him no more..I was quite about it ..then last Wednesday he told me im going to a female friend house to put up her tree and some other stuff ill be back in a couple days! I couldn’t believe it..who puts up a tree 3 days before Christmas? I didn’t her from him for 8 days then last night he called and Tex me he was done with me cause I didn’t trust him!

  • Joe December 21, 2016, 10:20 am

    I did something too bad, but she is the one who start, we been together for 1 year and 8 months she gave me the greatest feeling and love ever and loved her too so much actually I still love her so much. She came as training to the hotel where I work I really loved her from the first time I swear, please do not look at me as movies person or this bla bla.. I really did. During this time we were talking normal and first time we met I even didn’t say proper hello to her and later she noticed it and she told me that haha. She was bit insecure and I was always helping her and motivate her not to use her no never, just because I can see she is pretty sweet girl and I really liked her so much, with time she start to like to work with and with other girls in the team cuz I always being happy and not rude with my team, later I called her once I knew it she just finished her duty, she respond and I asked her if she want to hang out. She said after 3 rejections and I was happy about it that we will meet.after we met we were walking and the way how she was talking with me was super nice so normal so pure, I love it and I loved her, after that in the same out I invited her for dinner she said yes, and before dinner I asked her if she want to go with me to buy t-shirt she said yes and she was chosen carefully with me which color will look good on me, we went for dinner after that we went for clubbing and we got drunk I kissed her and I told her I love you and I swear to god I meant it. Then things start to go between us, she was there only for 5 months cud she was in training program, after that we really falled in love as crazy people love birds, then she decided to visit me in my country for vacation she came. I was waiting her in the airport with flowers, she liked so much she told me no one did that to her before. She was happy we went home she met my mum my family, she love it she love my mother we traveled we had amazing vacation super amazing, yes sometimes we argue but nothing major. By that time it was one big step in front of us is that she have to go back to Germany for 1 years to complete her study. And I told her “L” it’s bit difficult but she was extremely ready to wait and fight for it and I promised too to do it. And actually yes we did it and during this year we were skyping every day and she visited me during the year with her sister, her sister she didn’t like me. My Ex told me that cuz we were honest to make it go. But I didn’t pay attention to that, yes we made it finally and she got job where I live so she can come and be together ( share & care ). But the thing is she got job like far from me 2 hours driving that’s mean we will meet only in weekends till I could find job in her place or she could find something in my work place. She came she didn’t like the job she was craying always she hate it and always use to tell me “j” I came here for you remember that and I really do. Cuz no one sucrfise for me before ” let me say something about me I was fat and I was not very that very good looking guy” but she still really loved me, but that time she was telling me she might go back home cuz she hate it and she was crying I was always supporting her that we can do it. And my vacation was that time to go to see my family after 1 year, I still remember on the night before I fly we spent it together and next day morning she was crying, she was talking with on the phone the whole time before I fly and she was crying, later on during my vacation she surprised me with text that she can’t handle it any more and we should separate honestly I was shocked I asked her to Skype she said no I’m crying I said ok, later 1 week she texted me back she miss me. I told her baby let’s speak when I’m back, by the way my birthday she didn’t even say happy birthday when I was vacation. After my vacation I tested her I’m back so we can meet.we met we had dinner and we were talking but she was different than how she used to be for example I’m smoker if I smoke 2 cigarettes on rowl she will complain by saying I want healthy daddy for our kids but later even if I smoke 10 cigarettes she don’t care. I noticed but I didn’t say anything cuz I was thinking maybe because of work and stress and I asked her do u see someone else she replied”No” and I really trust her so much so from that time whenever I tell her I love you she say thank you and most of weekends she was making excuses that she’s busy she can’t come we can’t see each other we met only one time for short lunch cuz she said she have to go back urgently and she changed so much, after 3,weeks I tested her that what she’s doing is not good and we can’t have this kind of relationship and if she start to have more attention just say so, she told me yes I’m bad and shut stop telling me that and I didn’t text her after that for 1 week, later she called me she said I miss you and I want to come to the city to see you. I was so happy about it but she said not sure but I will see, anyway she came we met we went to the hotel we enjoyed and we went for dinner most of the time she was playing with her phone and I didn’t like she told me I’m just texting my sister after that I was mad and we left the bar after 1 drink we went to the hotel I changed my clothes and she told me “are we not going out”I said back “what’s the point if we will go out and u are using it phone all the time” she was quite after while she star to cry saying cuz of this shot job I’m stressed and all, so I hugged her and we were making jokes and getting drunk having sex she was dancing to me stripping to me we were enjoying. And she asked me about my mother she told I like your mum so much, and we texted mum she said regards and some stuff to mum about me. And we fellt happy and I thoughts things are getting back good. So we decided to go out we went to open club with nice view, then she started to text with her phone and I told her come on we are here to enjoy and she told me I need to speak with my sister, I said ok honey are you ok, she was crying I went with her to toilet and I was waiting waiting waiting for more than 20 minutes, then I was worry about her. So I opened the door of the toilet and I heard she was talking with someone else and I was so shocked so much the guy that she was talking with was her boss. She was telling him I like u so much why u doing this to me we can’t be friends I really like no he is just friend I’m sure was some one else and during that conversation I knew it that her boss he just was using her for sex I swear nothing else. I was pist off like never before I was angry I was frustrated God know how I was by that time people, in moment I just want her to finish the call but no it was going going going till moment when I lost my patients my control over everything, I knocked the door cuz she was inside the toilet she opened the door she saw me she was shocked she said “Noooo” I tooket the phone and I beated her so much ( I really lost everything I never was in this situation before I never ever abused or beated girl before) but please understand that my brain my self the way how I care about her and love her, I felt she flashed everything in toilet)
    I still was made I started to hit my self too security came the caught me and they called the police, half of her face was blue I scared her that I will took her to jail “oh my god I can’t believe my self really” police came they took us she was scared I told her to just denied she did there was no camera no witness so they let us go, actually they let me go cuz I just lied to her that she will go to jail cuz I was scared of what happened and to fuck my future with jail.
    I just want to say I never meant to hurt her and she put me on this situation and why,
    Later I called to check she didn’t answer after few days she called me saying she is scared of me and she can’t come to the city she thought I want to kill her ( hell no I just was in situation that I never expected specially from her), I apologize for what happened and saying u don’t have to be scared and what I did is eating me alive cuz that is not me. I really really love her. Later she called again to check if everything ok and if she can have her life back, of course I will never hurt her no matter what she was crying and she was asking me if we were perfect couple or not I told her we were the best. She told me she will change her number and she will block me from everything and asked me please incase she will contact me to block her, I told her I will not call and your right to block after what I did and I should not touch this beautifull face and I told her if any time you need help my doors are open for you even I know that I’m the last person on this earth u want to speak with.
    Later was her birthday I just bought expensive with gold nickless with diamond and some flower and chocolate and I delivered to where she work. I didn’t want to show up I just paid the concierge to deliver it to her.
    Guys girls I’m not animal who beat women and I writing all this cuz I can’t forgive my self yes she cheated and I was the victim but after that I’m the guilty one. I can’t handle it any more.
    I really love her but I know 90% is too late.

  • MOKHETHI MUSA November 18, 2016, 11:34 pm

    I have taken things like phone books and my photos i also returned hers…. Bt i still love so much

  • MOKHETHI MUSA November 18, 2016, 11:12 pm

    I had my girl friend who break up with me yesterday… After realising her actions towards me of ignoring me not ansaring mi phone and doing those things which made me small showing people that im nthing to her! then i made a clear question of whether we continue with ur journey or we stop for enternity?? Her respond was we have to stop and i love her so much but due to pressure, the things i bought for her i have taken them even the 1s i borrowed her… My heart is still wondering of what happened to myself… Haek

  • Salema November 6, 2016, 2:02 pm

    I have been dating my ex boyfriend for 8 months we were happy together and in too much love with eachothers eventhough we faced some problems but then things got better after a while, but then last month once we started the univ he changed a little bit with me and started mistreating me, and I was trying to be understanding though thinking maybe he feels bad and down because of the stress since he is preparing for his B.A! anyway, last week he broke up with me saying that he is not comfortable with me anymore, I said it is fine maybe he just wants a break. Then after two days I gave him a call asking whether is this a break o a break up, then he was like no it is a break up I started crying and asked him whether we can meet to give him the last hug then he was like no sorry I cant I urged on him and said I am coming to you,we met at the univ and I tried to hug him then he pushed me saying sorry I am in a relationship now, I got shocked and kept crying and begging him to come back to me, but no use I went to his new girlfriend talked to her and she was so rude to me, but anyway things didnt end as I wanted, he didnt come back to me and he was like we can stay friends if you want, I agreed, then last time I tried to call him on phone but he didnt answer my call nor answer on my messages! anyhow, I did my best to bring him back to me but I failed and he seems so happy with his new girlfriend
    he gave no damned care about my tears nor my trying to commit to suicide he teased at me when I tried to commit to suicide
    now I gave him space and I didnt talk to him for one week now, and it is killing me
    I love him so much but he doesnt seem that he is interestend in me anymore and he seems that he loves his gf so much and she loves him back more
    (btw she is the one that confessed her feelings towards him when she found out that he broke up with me)
    he even told me this last time when I was crying and begging him to come back to me, he said what do you want from me now? I said I love you and I want you back you are my husband and he said no my wife is that girl (his new shit) and I love her so much, and I said what about me? didnt you say about two days now that you love me and you cant live without me! plus you barely know each others and you are new in this relationship with her then you decided that fast that she would be your future wife then he was like yes and I love her so much
    wth what can I do
    I am suffering
    I am so fucking addicted to him
    I feel so lonely and lost without him, my exams are so near and I prepared nothing for them yet, because I am all the time focusing on thinking of him only and stalking his instagram!!

  • Cherrie October 18, 2016, 4:55 pm

    I swear … My boyfriend has been cheating on me. But I totally expected it. He’s 25 I’m 17 (about to be 18) .. I can’t fulfill his needs..but this article made me extra confident in what I CAN do. He told the other girl he loved her but keeps telling me he only wants me. I got him in a space that I want him in. He will definatley be seeing a boss bitch !!!! Hair done , nails, fatigue, and happy? Oh yes, just entertainment to me to watch his game change. Tbh it made me feel like I’m not good enough for him to love and admire. Like maybe I’m just not satisfying …. But you know what? When your in feelings like that you think the dumbest things ! I got the power, not him !!! Experiment

  • Juliannie October 5, 2016, 11:46 am

    My bf and I dated for about 4 months when we first met I actually didn’t want to be with him and he wouldn’t leave me alone eventually he got me and I became dependent on him for my happiness I was also depressed so I kept throwing myself on him to make him want me more so naturally he lost feelings for me and 2 days ago finally told me how he likes me but only enough to be friends and worse he felt we weren’t going anywhere and felt he will never fall in love with me and of course I was sobbing on the phone asking all these questions he said we can be friends he’s a guy who’s like a brick wall trying to get him to feel a certain way for you on purpose is impossible even tho he is like this and feel this way is it possible to get him back??

  • Miyana October 2, 2016, 12:10 pm

    Me and my boyfriend were together for a year and five months we got on great then he started uni and he had lots of girls posting on his wall then he asked if he could go to another girls house… Then dumped me over text two days later he’s not blocked me but he’s deleted me of everything help!

  • Jennifer Henderson September 23, 2016, 5:23 pm

    Me and my boyfriend were together for about a year and promised each other the world to each other. Our connection was so strong and nothing stopped us from separating for a while especially since our families come from different cultures and religions. As time went by, we started having problems because of the family issue and he came to terms that it is risky to continue the relationship when we are unsure of the future. I have been doing no contact and it has been two weeks. He still had me on social media and everything. I even posted a few pictures of myself and sporting activities which I know he could see. Once I posted something about a concert that was near his place, he saw it and decided to unfollow me. He still has me on facebook, but I have no idea if that’ll last. He hasn’t reached out once to me since I started no contact. I don’t know what I should do.

  • enough games September 20, 2016, 4:56 pm

    I believe people should stop with the mind games. !!! Who cares anyway who wins a stupid power struggle.
    It’s your happiness and your life .. react and be yourself .. if calling him/her immediately is what you want to do .. then do it.

    Trying to follow a set of rules “out of your character” will drive the person away. Not make them miss you or want you back any more or less. It’s usually the power games that two people who love each other and good for each other play during difficult times that creates the biggest mistrust and ruins relationships.


    Then what the other person does or does not do with this is their choice .. but if it works or not .. you will never have regrets .. you will know you where honest with yourself and the other person.

  • Kelly September 16, 2016, 4:44 pm

    My boy friend broke up with me I was needy and upset but calmed down he went out of state to work. It when he came back in town he stayed with me and we had sex it was rumored that he may be trying to date other women but when I asked him and said no problem be truthful he denies having any involvement with any one else . In 2 weeks I’m flying up to stay with him for a long weekend he seems excited but made I made a comment that I would not have sex with him if he was dating other women and that I had feelings for him and was not his friend . He in return said that he didn’t want to date anybody I’m assuming that includes me but then acted jealous when I made a comment about an actor on tv and expressed how i didn’t let him covey his feelings in our relationship. I love him and would like to rekindle things what do you think

  • Mark September 5, 2016, 3:33 am

    So my ex girlfriend broke up with me and she was in a new relationship about a week after she wanted to meet for vacation. She posted on Facebook the new relationship they exchanged I love yous on there so they must of had some friendship before. I was last out to visit long distance relationship in May and then June. June started out I love you first few days then ended up giving ring back after we were both a distant from each other. She grabbed my leg rubbed back of neck on drive to airport so she Was struggling with it or testing me. She contacted me a few times after saying she missed me was a mistake to let me go or she did it so I didn’t have to leave my family. Then 3 days after she wanted to vacation together, she said forget it, was emotional pms and little hung over. Then 7 days later new post on new bf.

  • aleena August 1, 2016, 9:06 pm

    love this tips, thank you, really need this right now!

  • janicka July 29, 2016, 10:44 pm

    he tells our friends how much he misses me and wants to see me..im just not sure im ready yet..but maybe i should really try so i can be sure of my feelings

  • carey July 28, 2016, 6:17 pm

    i didn’t want to look pathetic and so i just worked on moving on right after the sad breakup..now i feel like i wanna do all these and i hope it’s not too late

    • elly September 9, 2016, 11:19 pm

      same to me..I’ve broke up 2 years ago after 6 years been together. I was so sad that time but I dont want to look so pathetic. Even myself know how pathetic am I.Haha. Now I still love him secretly and I don’t know either the feeling will disappear one day or not.I want to do all this but thinking of he never care about her ex before me at all so must be he do the same to me.not care at all.I’ve secretly stalk him after breakup 2 years ago 2 times thats making me hurt like hell and i stop.Now I dont know where and how he is.

  • carin July 27, 2016, 1:10 pm

    love love love this post! im gonna keep this in mind, thanks!

  • cameron July 26, 2016, 12:10 pm

    some of these i haven’t really tried, im gonna pin this post so i could use them

  • sunshine July 25, 2016, 11:58 pm

    these are really sensible tips and will sure help women out there.

  • jasmine July 22, 2016, 3:37 pm

    awesome!! ill try these for sure! thx!

  • helen July 21, 2016, 1:05 pm

    take care of yourself – this is the best thing you can do, not for him but for you.

  • jenny July 20, 2016, 2:03 pm

    we’ve been together for 2 years & i could say we were happy & enjoyed many things together. i hope i can still be w/ him

  • chiara July 19, 2016, 1:49 pm

    i would do all of these..haha

  • iren July 18, 2016, 12:04 pm

    do the things you love, things that you enjoy the most esp those you didnt get to do when you were with him. happiness will be so evident and will make him really think about you and your relationship.

  • MMM July 15, 2016, 9:36 am

    We were a great couple. We have four children. We were very good friends and were married for 19 years. At some point I was diagnosed with depression. He became distant, We stopped having sex and after two years he said he wanted to move out, but work on our marriage. We went to therapy but it was not working. He filed for divorce but was saying we will get closer and maybe marry again. We saw each other all the time, went to dates, etc. I trusted him and was sure that we would fix our problems. He was saying, even if we won’t get married again, we always would be together, grow old together and so on. He was maintaining that he was not thinking about anybody. Then, after final papers of divorce arrived, he said he met somebody a month before and wanted to be with her. I was devastated and suspect that he started an affair a long time ago, but don’t know for sure. He wanted to stay friend, but I am not in contact with him unless about things related to kids. He pretty immediately started telling people that his new girlfriend, who is 20 years younger than him and is pretty ugly, will move in with him. When people ask him what he likes about her, he says she is a good manager (at work) and has a good CV. Can this be really that serious?

  • janella July 14, 2016, 9:47 pm

    whatever the outcome may be, its best that you make yourself better. do it for yourself, not for him or anybody else.

  • felicitas July 13, 2016, 2:04 pm

    definitely do NOT contact him! this makes or breaks it..ive tried it & it worked

  • gillian July 12, 2016, 11:35 pm

    yup, youre right..its important to understand what really happened in your relationship.

  • faye July 11, 2016, 7:35 pm

    i’ll forward this to my bff, she is in real need of these stuff :)

  • jenna July 7, 2016, 6:34 pm

    i think i’m gonna have to try these tips. thanks!

  • dria July 5, 2016, 3:09 pm

    i let him know im having so much fun and doing a lot better

  • Faz July 3, 2016, 9:12 pm

    So im a year younger than him, hes off back home from uni and next year he is moving to a uni closer to home, it turns out hes going to the uni ive wanted to go to since i was 14 but i wont be going uni for annother year after, he finally decided 2 week before he goes home that he doesnt want to be with me as the long distance thing wont work though its like half an hour on the train, and not to long ago we was making plans about me going down to see him he says its not that im not worth it but that we both constantly will be unhappy and paranoid and worrying tho he litrally lives a 40 min bus drive away now and it was never a problem. I cant help but feel like theres annother reason tho he swears theres not. Its very fresh and im yet to get my belongings so the no contact phaze isnt in action but ild like to know if it would work for a situation that involves distance, and well unis not exactly filled with classyness when it comes to relationships ect.alls i want is for him to atleast try and make a go of things, even if it doesnt work out it would mean ild know we tried and theres nothing we could of done. Hope you can help

  • darina July 1, 2016, 2:11 pm

    well..i jst try to let him i know im moving on, having fun..and make sure he sees it

  • floretta June 29, 2016, 8:17 pm

    yes, be the best version of urself..whatever happens, its a win-win 4 u

  • celeste June 28, 2016, 7:38 pm

    i always try to make him feel jealous by posting on social media & stuff..haha

  • gigi June 24, 2016, 6:16 pm

    i usually make him jealous but in just a subtle way and it always works! ;)

  • becky June 23, 2016, 7:28 pm

    i didnt contact him on purpose since the breakup..hope its working sumhow

  • idella June 22, 2016, 1:46 pm

    im definitely gonna try this formula :)

  • diannamay June 21, 2016, 6:25 pm

    social media is such a big platform now & i definitly use it as my stage esp in this times & it works all the time

  • sage June 20, 2016, 1:03 pm

    ill put this in mind..luv d ideas u shared

  • reign June 17, 2016, 1:08 pm

    ooohh..i gotta need this! haha

  • hayden June 16, 2016, 7:36 pm

    we both had some bad times but i think what’s imp is that there are far more good times spent together..i hope theres still a chance we can fix things

  • shawna June 15, 2016, 4:42 pm

    good thing i came up reading this post! thx

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