Exactly How To Make Your Ex Miss You After A Breakup

Exactly How To Make Your Ex Miss You After A Breakup

If you’re looking for ways to make your ex-boyfriend miss you, that probably means that ultimately you want to get back together with him.

Makes sense, right? After all, if he misses you, that feeling should make him want to get back together with you.

Unfortunately, in reality just having him miss you isn’t enough. If you really want to get him back and keep him for good, it takes more than him feeling sad that you’re not together anymore.

Now, I don’t want you to take what I am saying the wrong way. You certainly must make him miss you if you ever want to get him to try to win you back, but it takes more than that to get him back and keep him for good.

Think of it like a formula. In order to get the result you want, you have to do the entire formula not just parts.

If you only tried to make him miss you but didn’t do anything else, you wouldn’t end up getting back together with him.

I’ve always been extremely skeptical of anything that isn’t backed by scientific evidence and proof. As a dating and relationship coach, I help a lot of women get their ex back and constantly read all the psychological and scientific studies backing up what works to get your ex back. I don’t like to leave things up to chance.

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Leaving things up to chance means that you hope that something will happen, but you don’t have any tangible proof that it will go the way you want it to.

That’s not the way I do things. The only things I recommend are the proven, effective strategies that not only get your ex back but let you keep him for good.

I wouldn’t feel right giving you information without knowing for a fact that it’s been scientifically proven and is backed by a load of evidence. I never give advice based on theories without feeling confident that it’ll work for you. That is why I am so intrigued by all the scientific literature related to reconciliation with an ex.

I’ve learned so much and made so many key realizations because of all my research…

… and I’m going to share with you right now exactly what to do to get your ex back and keep him for good.

In fact…

You’re Starting Out Way Ahead Of The Game

What do I mean by that? I mean you’ve got a huge advantage already, and you might not even know it.

And shockingly enough, it’s very related to going through withdrawal.

What does drug withdrawal have to do with a breakup? Mentally, breakups are actually very similar to how it feels when you quit a drug, and go through withdrawal. Drugs stimulate the pleasure center of the brain, increasing the amount of dopamine and making you feel a general sense of euphoria.

When you quit the drug, you feel a profound low. You might feel lethargic, like you have no energy and no real spring in your step. You might see pictures of your ex boyfriend or be driving, hear a song on the radio and end up crying in a ball of tears… a general sense of sadness might make your entire body hurt when you even think of the breakup. Anything that reminds you of him will bring up this overwhelming sadness and possibly even regret.

All of these reactions can actually be explained by science, by this opposite reaction to the euphoria you experienced while in the relationship.

Loveis actually like an addiction. It’s been scientifically linked.

This is just one scientific theory, but there’s more where that came from!

Here’s another:

There Is A 90% Chance That Your Boyfriend Already Misses You

How could I be so sure about that? I’ll tell you in one second.

First, I want to talk about something that a lot of women worry about after a breakup. They worry that they’re obsessing over the relationship too much, that they’ve somehow crossed some invisible boundary and are abnormally sad about the end of the relationship.

The truth? Nope. It’s not abnormal at all. In fact, it’s extremely common to feel very sad and fixate on the breakup after a relationship, and the vast majority of people go through it.

Which means what? It means your ex is also almost certainly thinking about you! That’s the beauty of understanding universal human reactions to a breakup. It gives you insight into the same processhe is going through. It is not only you.

Now, we do not know exactlywhat he is thinking. He could be thinking good or bad things.

But the fact that he is thinking about you means it’s possible (and even likely) that he is even missing you.

Another thing you need to know… missing your ex or thinking about your ex does not magically stop just because someone enters a relationship. So if you’re in a relationship right now, you might still miss your ex. Same goes for him (especially if it’s a rebound relationship).

Now, let’s get back to that 90% chance I was talking about. How can I make that claim?

Because it’s backed up by scientific studies and cold hard facts.

Have you ever stalked your ex’s Instagram or Facebook, trying to find out whether he has a new girlfriend, what she looks like and what they are up to? Have you done this with an overwhelming sense of panic mixed with an unexplainable curiosity? Do you only end up more upset and frustrated in the end?

Even in my own life… I admit, I have done this. I recall how I acted after a bad breakup with a girl I really loved. I would check her social media, trying to figure out how she was doing. I wanted to know what was going on with her.

You are not alone. In fact, this study (1) shows that 90% of people wind up secretly spying on their ex through social media. What does this mean? Well… it means there’s a 90% chance that your ex-boyfriend is going to be secretly checking your social media – and missing you more and more.

The point is…

You’ve Got A Huge Advantage Already

Even if you are broken up, in all likelihood (based on science) your ex probably still has you on his mind… often.

And if your ex has you on his mind often… you can use this to get an advantage, correct?

Yep. This is what is going to put you in the position of power when it comes to making your ex miss you. Since he already has you on his mind… so this puts you in an excellent position since it’s not going to even be too difficult to get him to desperately miss you.

So wait… does this make it super simple to make your ex miss you?

Uh, well… no, not exactly.

There are many things you need to do in order to accomplish this.

But here is the main point I am trying to get across.

At the moment, your ex has you on his mind way too often. So let’s take this baseline and think about what would happen if you add an expert’s advice on top of this. Making your ex boyfriend miss you should be super easy, right?

Before we get to that and I explain the formula for making him miss you I have to give you a key understanding so that you maximize your shot of success.

The Most Important Thing That Makes or Breaks Whether Your Ex Misses You

What determines whether or not your ex-boyfriend misses you?

The nature of the time you spent with him is going to play a huge role in whether or not he wants to get back together with you. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I am not going to lie to you because I want you to truly know what’s going on (rather than give you false hope).

If the nature of the time you spent with him during your relationship was miserable and unhappy, the chances of him wanting to get back together with you are lower. On the flip side, if you had an amazing relationship, it’s more likely that he does want to get back together.

Who Broke Up With Who?

This is another huge factor when trying to assess whether he will want to get back together. This is another point I want to make before getting into the actual “formula” of what to do in order to get your ex back.

If you broke up with him your shot of getting him back is higher than if he broke up with you. Why? Because people inherently want what they can’t have. If he had you and you ended the relationship, he will be left wanting more.

In particular, if you broke up with him and it was something he 100% did not want to happen… you are going to definitely have an advantage in this situation. He is going to feel like he was powerless over losing you and will want to get back together with you. It is human instinct. If something we like is taken away from us, we want it back.

Kind of like if you are on diet: you feel deprived of something you love and enjoy. If you are staring at a piece of cake and know you can’t have it, you want it more than if you can freely eat all the cake you want. It’s an even stronger force when you’ve broken up with someone who wants to stay together with you… because the lack of cake is a self-imposed restriction, whereas someone breaking up with you when you do not want them to is not self-imposed. So if you broke up with him and he did not want you to… this is an advantage.

That is, unless … he was unfaithful, betrayed you and this caused you to break up with him. If he cheated on you (or if you cheated on him) it means the relationship wasn’t headed in a good direction. Cheating means there were fundamental problems in the relationship and the quality of time you spent together probably wasn’t that great.

But even still, this plan can work. So pay attention to the formula, which I will reveal right now! It has three phases.

Phase 1: Do Not Contact Him

Phase 2: Become Your Best Self

Phase 3: Other Men (Create Envy)

Phase 1: Don’t Contact Him

This is essential. If you are constantly texting him, telling him how much you miss him and how much you love him… this will backfire. There is absolutely nothing worse than persistently trying to talk to your ex right after a breakup.

Think about it. The negative feelings and emotions at the end of a relationship overwhelm everything else, forcing the couple to break up. If you don’t give talking to each other a break after a relationship ends, then you both are constantly reminded of those ‘end of the relationship’ negative feelings and emotions.

You have to give him a chance to forget the trauma and negativity of the end of the relationship before you talk to him again, or all he’ll be able to think about is how bad he felt at the end of the relationship (and then attach all those bad feelings to you).

It’s hard to miss someone who is constantly in your face, trying to contact you. Give him room to miss you. Truly. This is so important. Without this phase, nothing will work.

You must give him room to miss you. If you are not making yourself actively available to him, he will start to want what he cannot have. People want what is out of their reach. This is key when it comes to making your ex miss you and ultimately getting him back.

I know “no contact” can be hard, especially if you have the instinct to call or text your ex. I understand how hard it can be to control yourself when you are in an emotional state and you miss him a lot and just want to reach out. But trust me, following “no contact” is worth the benefits you will get in the long run (making it possible to get back together with him). It is absolutely essential to stop contacting him and never, ever plead with him to get back together.

If you have already done this up to this point, it’s not the best situation, but it can be fixed if you stop right now and follow this formula, which leads me to the next phase…

Phase 2: Become Your Best Self

This has subcategories with it, so let’s get started.

Make Fitness a Top Priority

Now, I want to make this very clear: I am not saying you must be a certain weight or go out of your way to be a certain way to fit some societal idea of what is right. I am not saying this. I am simply being honest about how men are going to be the most attracted to you when you are in the best shape for you. I am talking about doing the best with your unique body shape that you can. healthy is hot. Again, healthy not emaciated or unhealthy. Try to invest time in what you eat and add some light working out to your routine. You will feel and look your best.

Invest in Some New Makeup

You might as well do this in order to feel better about yourself. Go and buy a new lipstick, eyeliner or something that makes you feel sexy and attractive. It’s all about how you feel about yourself. If you take extra care in applying your makeup, you will go out and feel better. That’s what it’s all about. Both looking and feeling your best.

Take Care of Yourself

In general, make yourself a priority. Take care of your health, your general well-being and make sure you take the time to do this as well.

Have Fun

Are there female friends you have lost touch with? Re-unite! Go out, meet new people and be yourself. Let go of any sadness you have and distract yourself with true fun. Learn how to laugh again, to have a good time and be in the company of others who you can truly be yourself with.

Social Media Image

Putting your best foot forward includes social media. Remember we discussed how most people do stalk their ex on social media? You can use this silent stalking as an excellent way to make him yearn for you. Put up some amazingly flattering pictures looking happy and delighted with life. There are two parts to the social media part.

Step 1) Men are visual creatures. Remember how looking your best is part of this phase? Well, it spills over to this part. Post a hot picture. Do not have a profile picture of your dog or a picture of the beach. Simply post an attractive picture to make him realize what he is missing.

Step 2) Post a picture of you having a good time. Instead of him getting the comfort of knowing you are depressed without him in your life, show him you are still out and enjoying life without him needing to be in it. As I have mentioned many times in many articles, men are attracted to happy women. Not only that, he will want you more because he is going to be slightly upset at how un-upset you are. This is human instinct. He is going to want you to miss him, which will in turn make him start to miss you. Remember how having fun is part of this phase? Post a good picture of it!

Phase 3: Other Men (Create Envy)

This is an extremely risky one that I do not think is always a good idea. If you were with an extremely possessive, emotional man who would be disgusted at seeing you with another man… do not do this. This can either work very well or completely backfire and make him never want to get back together with you.

So proceed with caution and if you do decide to do this, only do it in small doses do not go overboard because I guarantee you it will backfire. I am not saying to go crazy and intentionally try to make him jealous by flirting with everyone and plastering it on social media.

What I am saying is do some things here and there that hint that you are being pursued by other men. Whether it is on Facebook or Instagram, posting a status update that shows you hanging out with another man… what is most important here is that you realize you do have options. Maybe do some casual flirting with men you meet.

This will help you see that you do not have to be so hung up on your ex only. Now, you might meet other men and realize you only want your ex back but you also might meet other men and realize there is a whole world out there full of new people to meet. This will help your vibe when you interact with your ex in the future.

He will feel that you are a woman who has choice. In fact, you do not even have to flaunt meeting new men at all. The best option is to simply do things you want and have fun, which will give you the confidence of having a choice. When he feels this vibe, he will not want to lose you to another man and instinctually want to have you back.

Now, I want to leave you with something to think about…

How to Tell If He Misses You

Does he randomly text you out of the blue to ask you how you are doing?

Does he send you messages on social media and talk about nothing?

Does he call you when he is drunk?

Does he tell you he is thinking about you?

Does he seem to show up at places you are at?

Does he still talk to anyone you are close to?

If you have any questions or concerns, please write me a comment below and I would love to answer it! And please do let me know your success stories because there is nothing I love more than hearing success stories.

I hope that now you know how to make your ex miss you after your breakup. One important thing is that him missing you is just one piece of the puzzle, if you want him back and you want him to stay with you forever then you need to make him see you as “the one” – the woman he couldn’t live without. To do that you need this secret formula to get your ex back in your arms for good, so don’t wait or you might miss your chance forever: Do You Want Your Ex Back? Use This To Get Them Back…

Want to find out if you can get your ex back? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can ever get him back or if he’s gone for good…

Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?

90 comments… add one
  • honey May 27, 2017, 2:59 am

    Hi tq for this post
    I am honey …last 5 month ago my bf did broke up with me ..I requested him I need u ..but he said he not need .but he said I talk nd treat u but as a frnd.if I am in any problem he solving that problem whn I ask him y u solved my problem he saying ur my frnd. And without knows anyone he taking cares me ..sometimes he scolding me ..he saying don’t behave like childish .we both have lots of memory. I am saying myself don’t think Abt him ..but I can stop myself I am always thinking abt him..but he said he forgot everything. ..he not thinking ..it’s easy for boys ha to forgot .
    I don’t know he want me or not .

  • Lanna May 24, 2017, 12:41 pm

    Do these strategies/tips apply for non-formal exes? What I mean by this is, for a guy whom you never officially dated but had a really amazing connection with? My personal situation was that I had “met” a guy online on a non-dating website. We got into a conversation and it quickly escalated into daily, almost constant communication. He lived in another country and doesn’t have social media – the way we met was really a fluke as it wasn’t a typical social media setting. Anyways, we connected pretty deeply really quickly. He would say things like he had never been able to have a conversation with another girl like me before, and how he could talk to me all day. His lifestyle was one where he works CONSTANTLY, and as such he never really had a real girlfriend or relationship, but despite that he was very sweet and would write me very long emails. We would talk about everything – it was mostly an intellectual/emotional connection. I have been in a long term deteriorating relationship for years now, and he knew this and still expressed that if I made the decision to leave he wanted to date me and we even talked about marriage. It was all very fast, we probably moved too fast in the things we talked about but I really think we had a real connection. Anyways I ended up making the moves to split with my current relationship, and when I told this guy he seemed happy about it. But because my situation is complicated and my partner was making things very difficult for me, and simultaneously, this other guy was having problems with work and was busier and busier, I started to get needy and anxious and would tell him too much about my problems with my partner. This guy was always very sweet and listened to me, but over the course of a few weeks I could feel him pulling back and instead of giving him space I got more needy. We had had plans to meet, but I told him I wanted him to see me when I was strong and not vulnerable. He expressed happiness that I felt this way and he was confident in my ability to be strong, but then I got more anxious again and kept pressing about meeting (he lives in another country). He said yes he wanted to meet still,but I sensed that he was saying this to make me feel better and he was feeling a little hesitant about it at the time because of how anxious I had been acting. Over the course of the following two weeks, we communicated less but he would still check in with me every few days and had mentioned it would be hard for him to meet me because there was only one day which I could do so, but he said he was doing his best. He also informed me at the time that he had had a major financial loss at work and I knew he was very stressed. The next day he told me he had booked a flight, but it was refundable and he wasn’t positive he could be on it because of work issues but he’d let me know by Friday. Well on Thursday night, I f**d everything up. I sent him a message saying I had been thinking and now probably wasn’t the best time to meet considering how much of a mess I was and all he had going on with work. I told him I was glad his tickets were refundable and that I was sure we could meet another time. Well on Friday I didn’t get a response all day, so I sent a message that night saying I hoped he didn’t take what I had said wrong, and that I was happy he had made an effort by buying tickets but that I just felt bad when he was dealing with so much. No response that day, Saturday, or Sunday. By the time Sunday rolled around I had no clue what was going on and I sent about four messages throughout the day asking if he was still coming and that I was stressed not knowing. No response. Then the day before we were supposed to meet, I sent him a long message basically flipping out – asking how could he do this, I thought he was a gentleman, and that I simply didn’t have the emotional capacity to wait for his messages anymore, but I hoped he would be happy. Then I sent another message a few hours later, admitting that I knew I had bombarded him with too many messages and mixed messages and that I knew I was all over the place, and how I wished we could have met after I was independent and after he had dated and they everything would have been magical. I also said I wished the best for him and wanted him to be happy and that I would no longer anticipate hearing from him.

    Well that was about a month and a half ago. I haven’t received a response from him since the last message he had sent about booking a flight. During the time all this was going on, he also had deleted his profile/account that we had met on (and he had hundreds of followers).

    I know that I was too needy, all over the place, and gave him too many mixed messages. I also know he was beyond stressed at work, not sleeping much, and he really had always been very patient and sweet to me – and that was probably the straw that broke the camel’s back.

    Because we only communicated through email and weren’t connected on social accounts, (he was also a very private person, something we both shared similar views about), I have no way of knowing what’s going on his life and no way of finding out other than communicating through email.

    People I have told this to have told me to just forget about him, that he wasn’t even real, but I don’t believe that and I am having a hard time just letting it go. I know we had a special connection, and there is a part of me that is still holding on and hoping there is a chance down the road for us to at least be friends, but I am afraid I completely ruined it. I was wrong for how I acted but he also did ghost and bail on me, so my question is – do I reach out to him again and acknowledge that I f**d up with my crazy behavior?? Do I try to make it right? Or do I give it more time and then try? Or do I wait for him? Part of me feels like I may never hear from him again if I don’t reach out, but the other part of me thinks that he knows that I feel horrible and I shouldn’t reach out to him because it still hasn’t been enough time.

    I just don’t know if I should completely let this go, or if I should follow the advice in this article. Either way, I do need to work on myself and I need to be able to be independent and amazing – this was part of the shakiness, I am not independent and I know I need to be if I want a real relationship.

    But when do I know it’s time to completely move on? How much time do I let pass? Do I go like 6 months, and then reach out and say hi how are you? The problem is, if I am constantly “waiting” for him to reach out to me, and it never happens, how the hell am I able to move on? How do I know whether to initiate something? Is it even possible he still thinks about me?

  • melissa May 23, 2017, 11:40 pm

    So over the long weekend my boyfriend comes down to visit me. He lives 2 hours away. he came down the saturday afternoon and everything was going great. On Monday morning, i could hear zippers zipping up downstairs at 9am. I woke up and saw him packing his clothes. he told me he wanted to get home to workout and go for a run. I asked him if he wanted anything to eat and he just said “no i want to get going.” Before he left he said goodbye to me and stared at me for the longest time. I asked him if anything was wrong, and he replied back saying “no everything is fine dont worry”. I knew something was up with the way he just looked me. He hugged me goodbye and left. When he got back home i got a phone call. He called and said he was not good and we needed to talk. He stated that “I am a beautiful girl, and the best girlfriend he has had, but he doesnt see us getting married, he doesnt see me in his future.” He has been depressed lately because of his job, but I had no clue this was going to happen. There was no signs showing a breakup since we never really had problems. We had a great weekend, and then he goes home and calls me to break up with me. It does not make sense? Anyone have any suggestions or reasons why he all of a sudden did this to me?

  • Claire Grant May 23, 2017, 7:35 am

    So me and my were long distance. Not too far away from each other tho, about 4 hours. I had just accepted a job in the city he lives in and was all set for moving down and four days later he broke up with me. We both had our fair share of emotional baggage, which i didn’t think affected our relationship that much. His ex was mentally abusive towards him and he didn’t seek any counselling after it ended and we got together 4 months later. I was worried about his behaviour that I looked at his phone to see if there was something going on but I found nothing. I admitted it to him though cause I didn’t want their to be any lies in the relationship and he didn’t seem bothered. But obviously he was. He kept it hidden for months instead of shouting at me, which I would have accepted. We both did wrong in some ways, he wasn’t good with communicating before I looked at his phone. But I do feel like this isn’t over in some way.

  • Aj May 22, 2017, 1:38 pm

    I forgot to add when we lived with his sister they would get into it and he would let it out on me then when we lived with his friend I would get upset and mad at him and let it out on him. When we moved in with my mom he was upset and stayed in the room all the time

  • Aj May 22, 2017, 1:37 pm

    So me and my ex- bf were together for over a year and half. We moved in after 5 months dating with his sister and her bf close to the end of the lease we started arguing, then we moved in with his friend and his gf. All he started to do was nap a lot and play his computer with his friend all the time. He cut down on being sexual active with me and we would get into petty arguments over stupid stuff. We only had a 6 month lease with them. Then we moved in with my mother she needed help and I know he didn’t want to but be did it because my mother needed it. Well ever since we moved in are fights became more frequent and he started to get even less sexual active with me…. It hurt and I would get mad at him all the time and we would dight all the time. Then it got worse when he completely stopped being sexual active. In not obbsessing over sex but that’s what two people do to show emotion and physical attraction. Well he barely talked to me and I had to start begging for him to even hangout with me. Are lease was almost up and we were planning on moving out together then one night I asked are we getting a place together still and he kept saying idk idk then I asked him do you still want to be with me and he said idk( I was hurt by this ) so I asked him again a yes or no answer and he pauses and quietly said no. I asked him if he could please leave and he did. Then the next day he grabbed some clothes and his computer and told me to give him time. I told him over a month ago that I loved him and he couldnt say it back he didnt say anything just that he knew I loved him.I’m so heart broken I didn’t talk to him for 4 days then finally I couldnt wait any longer to talk. We met up and talked he started getting mad and yelling at me saying how come I didnt see it or why it took so long for me to be willing to change and not get so mad all the time( I forgot to add that he’s not really emotional and doesn’t talk about him feelings a lot he keeps alot to him self) he got upset and startes to get out of my car and I grabbed his arm crying and pleading please don’t go and he said he had to. I about panicked I hopped out of my car into his and sat on his lap crying my eyes out telling him I loved him and he means so much to me he said he cares about me a lot and I was like I love you and he said I love you to for the first time ever. I said I was sorry it didnt go the way things were he said he needs time for him self. He needs to work on things alone I asked why cant we work together and he said no he has to do this by himself. I was so heart broken I sat on his lap crying telling him how much I care about him and telling him I dont want you to do this and he said he didnt want to do this but he had to. He told me we can still be friends and that we will hangout I also asked him if once in a while he would come stay the night(just lay there not do anything) and he said yes. I told him maybe its best if were friends and work back to the way we were and he said yes. He told me he has hope for is later but not right now. (I asked him if he missed me the 4 days we didn’t talk and he said yes.)He said he had to go and I grabbed him and hugged him and told him I love him so much and he was like I love you so much to. He hugged me tightly back and I asked him if he could wait till I left first and he said yes. That night I texted him told him I loved him and that I will always be here for him he replied same goes for you I hope you know that.
    I havent talked to him since then and this happened saturday im so hurt and I cant stop crying. He told me give him a week before we start talking again. (How do I deal with this???)I dont know what to do I can’t stop thinking about him and I keep checking my phone for him to text me. Does he miss me? He told me hes there for me but how can I talk to him if its about us he knows how I feel and he still left in hurt so much its killing me I havent been able to eat or sleep properly…. I don’t wanna wait but I know I have to I cant get him out of my mind. His close friend told me we were around each other to much and said we just need time apart. Everyone I talk to tells me give him space he misses me and thinks we will get back together. Its so hard from one point seeing him every day talking every day to nothing at all. I want him back so bad. It hurts so much and I don’t know what to do all I can do is give him time and wait for him to talk to me again…. Please any advise or what you think will help me.

  • Chris A May 21, 2017, 2:45 pm

    So im a guy, and my gf of 2 years broke up with me. Im so in love with her that i would marry her if i could. Im 23, ahe is 21. The whole problem is that she is young and curious and i was her first everything…. now the hard part is that she wants to see how other people treat her, she met a giy at her job and they kissed and im broken up over it but i still love her all the same. We ended on really good terms and im happy she is just so honest with me. She has always been like that, she didnt want to hurt me in the relationship so she thought this was the best course. She loves me to death and she always tells me that she wishes she lived her life before she met me so we can be happy now. I believe her bc she has always told me this. Now its summer, school ended and she is going to mexico with her family for a whole month. I would love nothing more than to just be with her. Idk why but i have a this strong feeling we will get back together in the future. Ohhh and btw she said that i should live my life and not just wait around. She is so perfect and caring its hard to just let that go. Should i go the summer without talking with her? Everyone tells me to just leave her, but my heart and my mind knows what it wants. I wouldnt want another relationship or anything serious with anyone else unless it was with her. If you need any more info just ask. Thank you

  • Erraticbeauty May 19, 2017, 8:36 pm

    Hi.. My ex-boyfriend and I were in a LDR since end of 2014 and I cut off with him mid last year. The relationship was pretty turbulent but our feelings were passionate and intense. The reason for the ultimate disconnection was something he did. Since, I have not contacted him nor has he reached out to me – it’s almost going to be 10 months. I have been living my life – the past 6 months had me pretty preoccupied abroad even though he has been in my heart and mind. I still care about him deeply. I haven’t been productive these past few weeks as I was in the 6 months and that has me thinking even more about us. I miss him a lot. I have found myself doing what I can to know his current state via social media – his recent posts reflect sadness. What I would like to know is – is it possible for him to reach out to me after not having done so all these months, or is it unlikely? I feel like our story isn’t over and that he too still has me in his heart. I just find myself hoping that I will hear from him. He was blocked most of this time and I recently unblocked him. Answers and suggestions will be appreciated. I feel life is short, but I don’t wish to initiate any contact because rightfully he ought to reach out to me.

  • NoName99 May 17, 2017, 6:37 pm

    Because if you can get past the 66 day mark, then you will be golden. Takes 66 days to form a new habit. You will have just formed a new habit of not initiating contact with him first.

  • Jessica May 17, 2017, 4:53 am

    This article is great.
    I’ve been in a LDR with a guy over a year. At the beginning, he was interested in me. We had fun together and our conversations was deep. After that, I was unhappy with a little bit time he spent to our relationship so that I emailed him and telling him my true feeling that I was unhappy beacause he didn’t put me in his priority. He told me he was busy with new job, it’s difficult to have space time to talk. How about this: “one of us talk when we have something new or important thing to say…”. I was angry and didn’t contact him anymore. During 8 weeks no contact with him, I miss him so much. I still have strong feeling for him. But he didn’t text, call, email me. I’m feeling bad but I don’t want to lose myself. Truly, I want to get him back but I don’t want to contact him first. What can I do, I really don’t know.

    • NoName99 May 17, 2017, 6:27 pm

      I know this is very difficult, but just continue what you are doing and do not initiate contact with him first. However, if it as already been eight weeks with him not nudging you, then he does not deserve you anyway. Or else give it a last shot and try contacting him now, and if you all get back together then switch your position. Act like you do not care how often you see him. Use reverse psychology on him.

  • Fiona May 7, 2017, 7:28 am

    Had a break up of after about 6 years. Nothing horrible just was because of stress and no communication. He was amazing though. He broke up with me and the whole time it seemed I was the one trying to fix things. Suggest options to help us. Basically it didn’t work I was even more sad trying and him not . We kept trying a few things here and there but it didn’t work. It’s just he never suggested anything so idk maybe he really didn’t know. But we eventually ended it all 100%. I’d been trying to have fun not worry or stress and be a better me than I was. Fix things and be happy worry about me. I have met some new friends too buts it’s just friends. If I had a picture of a guys friend on social media with me is that bad? I was not trying to do anything wrong or cause any upset I was just having fun is all, it was just a goofy picture that has an inside story of how I’m ditzy. Hahaa that is all. I’m just making friends and having fun. But is that something I shouldn’t have done? If it was vice versa I’d be upset and wonder but I’d try to not assume something I don’t know unless there are more pictures of that person or it looked like they were together.

    • Fiona May 7, 2017, 7:32 am

      *a guys guy friend

      And we also recently saw each other..my ex and we talked a bit, and I hugged him..he knows I miss him and feel the same way because after I saw him we talked a bit and I told him because I thought I should so he knows, but after that our talking ended there, he said he missed me but that was it didn’t know what else he should do.

  • Rebecca May 1, 2017, 10:20 pm

    I hadn’t seen my boyfriend in 3 weeks. It seemed he was communicating less and less so I called him and he said he would call me back. He didn’t so the next morning I sent him a text stating it seemed like he wanted to break up so I would let him go. He wrote back that he didn’t want to break up, that his feelings hadn’t changed. That work had just been extremely stressful. He asked if we could get together to talk about it and suggested a day. I wrote him back in agreement I meet and talk. He never wrote back and wouldn’t answer my call. He ghosted me and after a month I unfriended and blocked him on Facebook. I miss him and I’m sure he’s missing me. Or was I played ? What should I do? LEt him go?

    • NoName99 May 17, 2017, 6:30 pm

      As hard as it is, just ignore him. Do not initiate contact with him anymore. Give it 65 days, and see what he does.

    • NoName99 May 17, 2017, 6:42 pm

      also, yes I am pretty sure he was just testing his ego to see if you were still interested.

  • Meghan April 30, 2017, 11:54 am

    Me and my boyfriend Jay have been together for almost two years. In the beginning it was great, no arguing, nothing of that sort. Once we hit 10 months we started arguing really bad about little things and mostly about seeing eachother all the time, about a month after the arguing started he broke up with me, well a lot happened blah blah and then we got back together over a month after the breakup… well it’s happened again now. Now we are at our two year mark and the same thing has happened. He broke up with me last Tuesday and we have not spoke since then. He has blocked me off everything, I have no clue what is going on. I do know that he broke up with me because we were together all the time, we argued a lot, he said that I needed to ” change “. Since Tuesday I have been trying my hardest to change and improve myself to show him that I really do care about our relationship. I want to give him his space and time but i don’t know if he will ever talk to me again, how long it will take, or if he wants to be with me. We have been together a long time and I’m just so upset and confused. I don’t know if this is over for good..

    • NoName99 May 17, 2017, 6:54 pm

      I know you feel so confused, and hurt right now. As hard as it is, you need to stay focused on you. Act aloof to him. Give it 65 days. If you do not hear any word from him within 65 days, well then, chances are you will have your answer.

  • Laurie Davis April 27, 2017, 8:34 pm


  • Mary April 25, 2017, 6:35 pm

    So me and my boyfriend live together for about a year now. We were dating for almost 3 years. He broke up with me few days ago. I’m still at his house. We haven’t talked at all but when he gets home and lays down with me in bed. He hugs me so hard and doesn’t let go until he falls asleep. That’s all we been doing after we broke up. What does it mean? Reason we broke up is because he claims he isn’t happy and that he doesn’t know who he is anymore

    • Kait May 10, 2017, 9:22 am

      Same thing happened to me a few days ago. We have been on and off dating for 7 years and this last time, we were actually together for almost four solid years. He’s been having a tough time with work and we were having troubles with finances. I came home one day and he asked if I ever questioned our relationship. I knew it was coming, I googled “how to tell if your boyfriend is going to break up with you” just a few days before. I have not contacted him unless it was something about moving out (we were living together about 8 months and I’ve already moved back into my parent’s house) I have been obsessively scouring the web on ways to get your boyfriend back and it means a lot to me that other people are going through the same thing right now. If you ever need to talk, I am here.

      • Marian May 17, 2017, 3:15 am

        Same thing happened to me ! We’ve been together for a year and a half , on and off and we finally broke up

  • Mary April 25, 2017, 6:17 pm

    So me and my boyfriend live together for about a year now. We were dating for almost 3 years. He broke up with me few days ago. I’m still at his house. We haven’t talked at all but when he gets home and lays down with me in bed. He hugs me so hard and doesn’t let go until he falls asleep. That’s all we been doing after we broke up. What does it mean?

    • Sarah April 29, 2017, 12:46 pm

      Hey Mary, I am going through the same thing. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost three years (three years this upcoming May), and he tore my heart into shreds because he’s not “happy” and like you said- doesn’t know who he is anymore. We are on the same boat. If you ever need someone to talk to, just reply and I will give you my email address. Good luck. Xx.
      – Sarah

      • Cynthia May 5, 2017, 1:39 pm

        I was with my ex for 8 years and he broke up with me two months ago. He said he doesn’t know who he is or why his feelings for me disappeared. He already has feelings for someone else and thinks she could be the one. I feel like I wasted 8 years of my life.

  • Rob April 23, 2017, 9:56 am

    Hi, I met this guy by chance in December and we fell deeply for each other all was going well, we were talking every day and seeing each other at least once a month. Then out of the blue he says it hurts too much when I leave and we should no longer see each other and be friends and see what happens when I move near him. I am out of the country at the moment but move back in 3 months time. I am devastated and as I’m now only away for a short period don’t understand it. He keep liking my Facebook as I’ve started to do th pimp up Facebook every one says to do, at first I did the emotional texts but even though it’s hard I don’t do that now. I keep getting texts from him saying sorry and also please do hate me…. I did respond to that saying I would never hate him as due to the distance I didn’t want him to think that. I just need some advice here as I feel we were the right people at the wrong time and will the no contact rule work in this situation. Thanks for your help

    • NoName99 May 17, 2017, 7:12 pm

      So this guy initiated this breakup because you were leaving the country for three months. Is that correct. I would try the no contact rule for 65 days, before it becomes a habit at 66 days. See if he initiates contact within the 65 days, and that will determine if you both were right for each other in the first place.

  • Sandra April 21, 2017, 1:54 am

    I’ve just broken up with him and….we still live together! How am I supposed to not stay in touch etc if we share a house? We have issues and we both need time to tackle them separately. We feel there is a chance for us to be together in the future but if we were to stay together right now, things would go very bad… So, in order to salvage the feelings and fondness we had before the problem cropped up, we’ve decided to separate. BUT we live together…!!! How can I make him miss me if we’re flatmates? :/

  • Maggie April 13, 2017, 11:19 pm

    My ex went through depression for 10 years because his ex left him. They were only together for 6 months. We were together for 2.5 years. Had a lot of problems towards the end and pretty much dragged it out for a lot longer than we should’ve, but I didn’t think we would end things because he always talked about wanting to be with me and never gave any hint that he wanted to end things. Then out of nowhere he completely cut me out of his life. Blocked me on everything. Didn’t even break up with me. I reached out to him and demanded answers and he told me that he hated me and he never wanted to talk to me again. I have no idea what’s going on and I probably never will. It’s been almost a month and I haven’t heard from him except for one email about getting some of his stuff back. I think maybe it is possible to hate your ex because I’m pretty damn sure he hates me. He was never a good communicator and he bottled everything up. It seems as though he tried to make the relationship work for so long until his feelings went away and he couldn’t stand it any longer. He never actually said this though. He just acted on it without saying a word.

    • Maggie April 13, 2017, 11:20 pm

      He also said that he had already moved on a week after he had done this. I don’t think someone can move on so quickly unless they really don’t like you.

      • Jude April 14, 2017, 9:12 pm

        No sounds like he has borderline personality disorder. Google it. He got too close to you and ouldnt handle it. Better iff without him.

  • Jenn April 9, 2017, 10:02 pm

    My guy and I were together for a year. I broke up with him. My daughter and his niece are close friends, and he told me he didn’t want them to not be friends, because of our breakup. he informed me that if I have any car issues to not hesitate to call him. What does all of this mean.

    • NoName99 May 17, 2017, 6:14 pm

      He is still trying to see if there is any hope that you will initiate connect again with him.

  • Devansh Gupta April 9, 2017, 11:44 am

    My ex broke up with me beacuse of silly reasons because she was afraid that I might hurt her in the future(she’s very sensitive). I tried many things to get her back and she always said no which made me frustrated. Therefore I said to her that I don’t want to watch your face anymore. We haven’t talked since then. But sometimes she looks at me when I’m not looking and I can tell she still loves me. Is there any way that we can get back together.

    P.S. She also had some trust issues due to her previous relationship.

  • Claudette Nation April 6, 2017, 12:36 am

    My and I dated for two and a half months. Hi ex girlfriend of 7 years never stopped texting him. He just wouldn’t tell me. I was going through a lot with my two teenage kids at the time. But I helped him out a lot. We had some good times. His parents and friends love me. The ex girlfriend has put him out of her parents house several times. He and I would still have sex once in a while. He told me, he knows I love him, although am the one who told him lets breakup. The girlfriend takes his phone, to know if we’ve been in touch with each other. She would even text me saying he does not want me.

  • haenu April 4, 2017, 7:00 am

    hi, thanks for your advice
    my boyfriends and i broke up 2 days ago and our relationship lasted for over 7 months. we argued about 2 months ago because my guy friend gave me a ride to school, he got jealous and couldn’t stop thinking about it. so 2 months later when this had been forgotten, he said he wanted to put a stop to this relationship, out of the blue. he broke up with me but still said he loved me and that he still cared. i didn’t know what happened to him and i told him to stop contact me for a while to see if he still need me. he still has our pictures and pictures he took me with his camera on his facebook and instagram. he said i was important to him so he didn’t want to stop seeing me or deleting those picture. it confuses me and probably this relationship confused him. what should i do? i really want him back, i don’t want to end like this.

  • Jessica March 28, 2017, 1:01 am

    Hey there my ex broke up with me a 2 days ago and he said that he still wanted me in his life because he loved me but didn’t feel like there was anything there anymore. Now we had a little fight and he didn’t text me for two days and only texted me because I texted him. His response was that he wanted to break up and we talked about it in person and came to a conclusion together even though it was obvious I didn’t want to break up inket him go because that’s what he needed. We texted a bit before I went to hangout with some friends after we got done breaking up and I changed my relationship status to single but he hasn’t. He hasn’t even changed his profile pic of us? And I know he’s online all the time I can see it so what’s up does he just not care all that much about what it says am I over thinking it a little too much?

  • flowerinmay March 22, 2017, 12:42 pm

    hi, Thanks so much for your post…
    I just broke up with my bf, I am from Asian and he is from Germany, I met him online, he is 8 years older than me , I am 29, I had been dating him for 2 months, but we had kinda 4 breakups already, always for the same issue…I doubt his love to me and he didnt have enough time for me , mainly he didn’t text me much, and did’t reply my text well either, it took him hours to reply my text and he a lot of times ignore what I said if i was saying some expressions or complaints…

    While every time I tried to break up with him , he would response and tried to explain and convince me to stay with him , I DO like him , so i went to him almost very soon after we broke up through text, but the last time , i told him I didnt love him anymore, as I didnt want him to convince me again and i would go back again ..I felt very suffering and even angry, and insecure when he didnt response my texts or he didnt sent me text in the morning and before he sleeps….I would cry for hours and I couldn’t sleep well either, and I COULD NOT concentrate on my study either ( last year of PhD, time and focus is very important to me)

    I think I was spoiled by my ex ex , who 100% put me in the center of his life, phone was 24 hours open for me , but I broke up with him many many times, while, finally I broke up with him because we had been in different countries for more than 3 years…

    But I guess I still like my ex, and I MISS him, while honestly I am more peaceful than when I WAS being with him, I do wanna be with him and marry him , he is a handsome, sweet, smart and successfully man. we already talked about marriage stuffs, we agreed we were both looking for life partner before we dated. And am also worried that he is actually annoyed by me saying breaking up so much and doesn’t wanna with him, and or he just wants the advantages of having a girlfriends, while we haven’t slept with each other…

    My questions are:

    1. Should I try to be with him again ? or I just need to move on to date more guys and find what I like? I am not loving him to the degree that I have to be with him, even 1 week ago, i thought I love him more that i do now..
    2. If i get back to be with him again, there is high chance we will break up again, as he cannot fulfill my expectations, as i am actually needy sometimes.
    3. If I wanna be with him again, what should I do to let him feel i wont break up with him easily , let him put more efforts on me ? when I should tell him that I wanna be with him again, as he still says he loves me… I deleted his Facebook, what’s up stuffs to stop myself contacting him..



  • Noah March 17, 2017, 11:51 pm

    Ex texted me to say merry Christmas Day before Christmas and I ignored. Texted me few weeks later to ask about her daughter who spent night but I ignored(wasn’t an emergency). Then day before Valentine’s Day, email me saying she may have cancer, I lost it and contacted and talked for little while. What do I do now. Been month

  • Patty March 17, 2017, 12:04 pm

    I need help it’s been about 2 weeks since we broke up noone cheated on anyone.
    He got mad over something stupid and he broke the car window. And blamed me and ever since it’s been messed up he says he never wNts to be w me and he told someone that he feels like he wants to shoot himself aNd that I am controlling I don’t mean to come off like that he has sat and sun off thats a ll the time for my kid and I to spend time w him. What do I do he tells my kid their is nothing to do about it plz I can’t loose him

    • NoName99 May 17, 2017, 6:16 pm

      Who initiated the break up. You, or him.

  • Veera March 16, 2017, 12:50 am

    So it was never an official relationship. But we had been dating regularly for about a month. Quite a lot of phone/ text contact. The vibe was easy, flirty, and really quite open and emotional too. He was so comfortable with me. He shared so much of himself and his thoughts and his feelings. We both agreed that we would just take it slow and easy and see how things develop. Then one night I stayed over, and we had sex, but it was really awkward. Just before he got really upset with me and told me that he thought I was a tease and making him feel desperate and needy. I was just being playful and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to sleep with him that night. Actually I didnt really. But he got mad and told me that he thought I was playing games and somehow I panicked and slept with him. But it was not good. Anyway, I felt depressed the next day, and told him about it. (MISTAKE) which i redeemed later and after a few days things were ok again. But he wouldn’t call me as frquently and he stopped being warm when he did contact me. He used to call me princess and sweetheart. All that stopped. So I got nervous. He would call me once a week to say he was super busy and didn’t have time to meet (this is true because of his job) but I thought he was making excuses not to see me. And I kept asking him. And then I asked him one night and it turned into an argument that went on till 2am and the next day he sent me a text to say that it was his last text to me for a while and that we shoudl just be friends and get a peaceful closure on things. So I called and agreed and said yes, but I also reminded him that it wasn’t like we were a couple anyway, and that we were just friends anyway. And I mentioned that I might be moving away really soon ( i had a job interview which required me to relocate, incidentally I didnt get it,but at the time I hadnt told anyone) so he said that he didn’t know and he asked me twice to let him know how it went. That was three weeks ago and I havent’ been in touch. I didnt call him on his birthday, and i havent told him about my interview. But I miss him everyday. Im working on becoming my best self. BUt I really want to be close to him. I miss him. Do I have a chance, or has he lost the attraction for me?

  • Caz March 8, 2017, 3:04 pm

    I broke up the day before valantine day he wasn’t affectionate and he pushed me away he was with his ex four years she cheated on him twice he met me six month into his break up we talked about me not beinga rebound got into a relationship then he was seeing his step daughters who wanted him to get back with his ex we were having problems because he was pulling away and he said he was still raw over his ex s of I said let’s have some space I was really raw I have gave him chances for him to go back I’d she who he wants inmin love with him and tempted to msg him as I haven’t heard from him it’s nearly a month we were together 6 months

  • Vixengal February 24, 2017, 7:56 am

    I need help. I absolutely love this blog because it gives me hope. My situation I feel is a tad more delicate. My (ex) and I were dating for about 2 years prior and though we had our ups and downs we always came out of them. I moved away due to (life) but I planned on coming back for him. In the process of living somewhere else I lost myself and I dropped off the face of the earth to and for him. I mean it, I stopped talking, calling, texting you name it. He would call and I would just ignore. I never actually “broke up with him”. 6 months went by and I gave him a ring, decided to contact him, I didn’t think it was that terrible at the time as we always got over things and although he reached out back to me I could tell things were different. He as more distant and recently told me it aaa because I had hurt him and he is nervous about my intentions now. I have done the routine spill out my heart to him, swear up and down I would never make this mistake again as I often have done this before just to people because well I’m not perfect and obviously an idiot dealing with issues the wrong way. Anyway, I don’t want to loose this guy. He means so much to me, I feel like if we fixed things we would make it out even stronger. What do I do in this scenario? We’ve talked and he’s told me he doesn’t know what he wants at the moment because I left for so long he got used to me not being around and now that I’m back it’s going to take time getting used too. He’s also said he’s not sure of his feelings about me but he also doesn’t want to just say goodbye because he’s not sure if that is what he wants as well. He wants me to take it day by day and just see how things play out. He is at least honest and says he knows it’s not fair to me so if I wanted to walk away he would understand. I don’t want to walk away. I want to get him back. I’m not sure of the outcome and I’m really freaking scared. Some outside advice please. From anyone. Thoughts?
    Signed, SadGal

    • NoName99 May 17, 2017, 6:20 pm

      As hard as it is, just take it day by day. For at least 65 days try and act consistent with what you said. And let him do most of the initiating during those 65 days.

  • Ananya January 22, 2017, 6:40 am

    It’s just that he has a lot of misunderstandings and does not want to clear them out. He’s not ready to talk….He recently said that he still loves me but he thinks hat i was backbitching about him and it was just not true
    I really love him and want him back
    What should I do??

  • sally January 11, 2017, 9:45 pm

    Love your blog!! My boyfriend and I recently broke up after our vegas trip which we took for new years everything was so amazing up until the day before we left… then all hell broke loose he told me once we get home to go grab all my stuff from his house never contact him ever again to just leave him alone because he wants to start the new year single and just focus on him self…we’ve had many break ups before but I know deep down he has a very soft heart and has a super soft spot for me only knowing this because I was the only women who ever took so much care of him and gave him so much attention and love and spoiled him…first!! When we landed he was happy the same day we landed was my birthday…and I had got and huge cold within the 2 day time frame so once we landed I drove him home and no everything was fine laughing talking normal when I dropped him off he came to my window and kissed my hand and said feel better and walked away….so I drove off went home….the next day I was super sick with a cold still he came over with a bag of my stuff…an box of tissues….and a birthday cake which made me cry then sang me happy birthday by my bed and let me blow out the candles…we shared a peice and then he went home but just before he left i said i have the body wash and conditioner you can take it home and he replied but your never coming over again you keep it…couple days later I wasn’t feeling the greatest almost fainted in the shower so i called him and asked him to take me to emergency he did….everything was okay at the hospital in was told when in got my room to remove everything but panties and wear the gown….so I did and asked him to tie the back of the gown for me when he stood up I was turned so he stood behind me and I felt that he had a hard on so if started to laugh….after the whole hospital situation I thought we were okay….so I started asking him on the way home why can’t we be together after skinny focus together and things escalated and when I left the car we were in a huge fight he told me don’t call me text me leave me alone for good I don’t need drama or stress that’s afterskingndll you are….so I’d left it’s been a week almost since we talked and yesterday he sent me a msg asking how I was feeling and if i had been eating…so i replied felling much better and I eat when I remember because of my job…. he said I still love you I said love you to and then at night he had called me so is picked up he said is miss you do you miss me? I said yeah kept it very neutral today he called me but is didn’t answer so is sent him a text saying call u in 45 getting a facial done he replied it’s ok I just had a question…so I replied what’s up he never answered so when I was done I tried calling back twice he never answered so I sent a msg and said can’t answer now? ? So later on I had fell asleep and woke up around 8 with a horrible bad dream so ih sent him a text because that’s what I always used to do or call him….and said had a bad dream thought id text you don’t mind this msg….he replied maybe 10 minutes after saying it’s ok I love you….so I replied love you to…then he replied 10 minutes later saying miss me? And that’s when I stopped msging him…is did want to give him the satisfaction of saying yes I do….so he sent another msg saying ok….then another after saying….want to come over tonight chill and watch a movie? As bad as I wanted to say yes I didn’t. …and now I need help in want him back but he’s so rude and mean sometimes…. when he gets into his moods….but I love him when he’s not in any bad moods and he can be the most amazing person ever!!! What do I do!!! Please help!!

  • Mechie December 30, 2016, 10:39 am

    Well I’m here cause just last night my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me..he cheated on me in the past and just kelp denies that he did..it was a dark cloud hanging over our relationship every since then ..cause I couldn’t trust him no more..I was quite about it ..then last Wednesday he told me im going to a female friend house to put up her tree and some other stuff ill be back in a couple days! I couldn’t believe it..who puts up a tree 3 days before Christmas? I didn’t her from him for 8 days then last night he called and Tex me he was done with me cause I didn’t trust him!

  • Joe December 21, 2016, 10:20 am

    I did something too bad, but she is the one who start, we been together for 1 year and 8 months she gave me the greatest feeling and love ever and loved her too so much actually I still love her so much. She came as training to the hotel where I work I really loved her from the first time I swear, please do not look at me as movies person or this bla bla.. I really did. During this time we were talking normal and first time we met I even didn’t say proper hello to her and later she noticed it and she told me that haha. She was bit insecure and I was always helping her and motivate her not to use her no never, just because I can see she is pretty sweet girl and I really liked her so much, with time she start to like to work with and with other girls in the team cuz I always being happy and not rude with my team, later I called her once I knew it she just finished her duty, she respond and I asked her if she want to hang out. She said after 3 rejections and I was happy about it that we will meet.after we met we were walking and the way how she was talking with me was super nice so normal so pure, I love it and I loved her, after that in the same out I invited her for dinner she said yes, and before dinner I asked her if she want to go with me to buy t-shirt she said yes and she was chosen carefully with me which color will look good on me, we went for dinner after that we went for clubbing and we got drunk I kissed her and I told her I love you and I swear to god I meant it. Then things start to go between us, she was there only for 5 months cud she was in training program, after that we really falled in love as crazy people love birds, then she decided to visit me in my country for vacation she came. I was waiting her in the airport with flowers, she liked so much she told me no one did that to her before. She was happy we went home she met my mum my family, she love it she love my mother we traveled we had amazing vacation super amazing, yes sometimes we argue but nothing major. By that time it was one big step in front of us is that she have to go back to Germany for 1 years to complete her study. And I told her “L” it’s bit difficult but she was extremely ready to wait and fight for it and I promised too to do it. And actually yes we did it and during this year we were skyping every day and she visited me during the year with her sister, her sister she didn’t like me. My Ex told me that cuz we were honest to make it go. But I didn’t pay attention to that, yes we made it finally and she got job where I live so she can come and be together ( share & care ). But the thing is she got job like far from me 2 hours driving that’s mean we will meet only in weekends till I could find job in her place or she could find something in my work place. She came she didn’t like the job she was craying always she hate it and always use to tell me “j” I came here for you remember that and I really do. Cuz no one sucrfise for me before ” let me say something about me I was fat and I was not very that very good looking guy” but she still really loved me, but that time she was telling me she might go back home cuz she hate it and she was crying I was always supporting her that we can do it. And my vacation was that time to go to see my family after 1 year, I still remember on the night before I fly we spent it together and next day morning she was crying, she was talking with on the phone the whole time before I fly and she was crying, later on during my vacation she surprised me with text that she can’t handle it any more and we should separate honestly I was shocked I asked her to Skype she said no I’m crying I said ok, later 1 week she texted me back she miss me. I told her baby let’s speak when I’m back, by the way my birthday she didn’t even say happy birthday when I was vacation. After my vacation I tested her I’m back so we can meet.we met we had dinner and we were talking but she was different than how she used to be for example I’m smoker if I smoke 2 cigarettes on rowl she will complain by saying I want healthy daddy for our kids but later even if I smoke 10 cigarettes she don’t care. I noticed but I didn’t say anything cuz I was thinking maybe because of work and stress and I asked her do u see someone else she replied”No” and I really trust her so much so from that time whenever I tell her I love you she say thank you and most of weekends she was making excuses that she’s busy she can’t come we can’t see each other we met only one time for short lunch cuz she said she have to go back urgently and she changed so much, after 3,weeks I tested her that what she’s doing is not good and we can’t have this kind of relationship and if she start to have more attention just say so, she told me yes I’m bad and shut stop telling me that and I didn’t text her after that for 1 week, later she called me she said I miss you and I want to come to the city to see you. I was so happy about it but she said not sure but I will see, anyway she came we met we went to the hotel we enjoyed and we went for dinner most of the time she was playing with her phone and I didn’t like she told me I’m just texting my sister after that I was mad and we left the bar after 1 drink we went to the hotel I changed my clothes and she told me “are we not going out”I said back “what’s the point if we will go out and u are using it phone all the time” she was quite after while she star to cry saying cuz of this shot job I’m stressed and all, so I hugged her and we were making jokes and getting drunk having sex she was dancing to me stripping to me we were enjoying. And she asked me about my mother she told I like your mum so much, and we texted mum she said regards and some stuff to mum about me. And we fellt happy and I thoughts things are getting back good. So we decided to go out we went to open club with nice view, then she started to text with her phone and I told her come on we are here to enjoy and she told me I need to speak with my sister, I said ok honey are you ok, she was crying I went with her to toilet and I was waiting waiting waiting for more than 20 minutes, then I was worry about her. So I opened the door of the toilet and I heard she was talking with someone else and I was so shocked so much the guy that she was talking with was her boss. She was telling him I like u so much why u doing this to me we can’t be friends I really like no he is just friend I’m sure was some one else and during that conversation I knew it that her boss he just was using her for sex I swear nothing else. I was pist off like never before I was angry I was frustrated God know how I was by that time people, in moment I just want her to finish the call but no it was going going going till moment when I lost my patients my control over everything, I knocked the door cuz she was inside the toilet she opened the door she saw me she was shocked she said “Noooo” I tooket the phone and I beated her so much ( I really lost everything I never was in this situation before I never ever abused or beated girl before) but please understand that my brain my self the way how I care about her and love her, I felt she flashed everything in toilet)
    I still was made I started to hit my self too security came the caught me and they called the police, half of her face was blue I scared her that I will took her to jail “oh my god I can’t believe my self really” police came they took us she was scared I told her to just denied she did there was no camera no witness so they let us go, actually they let me go cuz I just lied to her that she will go to jail cuz I was scared of what happened and to fuck my future with jail.
    I just want to say I never meant to hurt her and she put me on this situation and why,
    Later I called to check she didn’t answer after few days she called me saying she is scared of me and she can’t come to the city she thought I want to kill her ( hell no I just was in situation that I never expected specially from her), I apologize for what happened and saying u don’t have to be scared and what I did is eating me alive cuz that is not me. I really really love her. Later she called again to check if everything ok and if she can have her life back, of course I will never hurt her no matter what she was crying and she was asking me if we were perfect couple or not I told her we were the best. She told me she will change her number and she will block me from everything and asked me please incase she will contact me to block her, I told her I will not call and your right to block after what I did and I should not touch this beautifull face and I told her if any time you need help my doors are open for you even I know that I’m the last person on this earth u want to speak with.
    Later was her birthday I just bought expensive with gold nickless with diamond and some flower and chocolate and I delivered to where she work. I didn’t want to show up I just paid the concierge to deliver it to her.
    Guys girls I’m not animal who beat women and I writing all this cuz I can’t forgive my self yes she cheated and I was the victim but after that I’m the guilty one. I can’t handle it any more.
    I really love her but I know 90% is too late.

  • MOKHETHI MUSA November 18, 2016, 11:34 pm

    I have taken things like phone books and my photos i also returned hers…. Bt i still love so much

  • MOKHETHI MUSA November 18, 2016, 11:12 pm

    I had my girl friend who break up with me yesterday… After realising her actions towards me of ignoring me not ansaring mi phone and doing those things which made me small showing people that im nthing to her! then i made a clear question of whether we continue with ur journey or we stop for enternity?? Her respond was we have to stop and i love her so much but due to pressure, the things i bought for her i have taken them even the 1s i borrowed her… My heart is still wondering of what happened to myself… Haek

  • Salema November 6, 2016, 2:02 pm

    I have been dating my ex boyfriend for 8 months we were happy together and in too much love with eachothers eventhough we faced some problems but then things got better after a while, but then last month once we started the univ he changed a little bit with me and started mistreating me, and I was trying to be understanding though thinking maybe he feels bad and down because of the stress since he is preparing for his B.A! anyway, last week he broke up with me saying that he is not comfortable with me anymore, I said it is fine maybe he just wants a break. Then after two days I gave him a call asking whether is this a break o a break up, then he was like no it is a break up I started crying and asked him whether we can meet to give him the last hug then he was like no sorry I cant I urged on him and said I am coming to you,we met at the univ and I tried to hug him then he pushed me saying sorry I am in a relationship now, I got shocked and kept crying and begging him to come back to me, but no use I went to his new girlfriend talked to her and she was so rude to me, but anyway things didnt end as I wanted, he didnt come back to me and he was like we can stay friends if you want, I agreed, then last time I tried to call him on phone but he didnt answer my call nor answer on my messages! anyhow, I did my best to bring him back to me but I failed and he seems so happy with his new girlfriend
    he gave no damned care about my tears nor my trying to commit to suicide he teased at me when I tried to commit to suicide
    now I gave him space and I didnt talk to him for one week now, and it is killing me
    I love him so much but he doesnt seem that he is interestend in me anymore and he seems that he loves his gf so much and she loves him back more
    (btw she is the one that confessed her feelings towards him when she found out that he broke up with me)
    he even told me this last time when I was crying and begging him to come back to me, he said what do you want from me now? I said I love you and I want you back you are my husband and he said no my wife is that girl (his new shit) and I love her so much, and I said what about me? didnt you say about two days now that you love me and you cant live without me! plus you barely know each others and you are new in this relationship with her then you decided that fast that she would be your future wife then he was like yes and I love her so much
    wth what can I do
    I am suffering
    I am so fucking addicted to him
    I feel so lonely and lost without him, my exams are so near and I prepared nothing for them yet, because I am all the time focusing on thinking of him only and stalking his instagram!!

  • Cherrie October 18, 2016, 4:55 pm

    I swear … My boyfriend has been cheating on me. But I totally expected it. He’s 25 I’m 17 (about to be 18) .. I can’t fulfill his needs..but this article made me extra confident in what I CAN do. He told the other girl he loved her but keeps telling me he only wants me. I got him in a space that I want him in. He will definatley be seeing a boss bitch !!!! Hair done , nails, fatigue, and happy? Oh yes, just entertainment to me to watch his game change. Tbh it made me feel like I’m not good enough for him to love and admire. Like maybe I’m just not satisfying …. But you know what? When your in feelings like that you think the dumbest things ! I got the power, not him !!! Experiment

  • Juliannie October 5, 2016, 11:46 am

    My bf and I dated for about 4 months when we first met I actually didn’t want to be with him and he wouldn’t leave me alone eventually he got me and I became dependent on him for my happiness I was also depressed so I kept throwing myself on him to make him want me more so naturally he lost feelings for me and 2 days ago finally told me how he likes me but only enough to be friends and worse he felt we weren’t going anywhere and felt he will never fall in love with me and of course I was sobbing on the phone asking all these questions he said we can be friends he’s a guy who’s like a brick wall trying to get him to feel a certain way for you on purpose is impossible even tho he is like this and feel this way is it possible to get him back??

  • Miyana October 2, 2016, 12:10 pm

    Me and my boyfriend were together for a year and five months we got on great then he started uni and he had lots of girls posting on his wall then he asked if he could go to another girls house… Then dumped me over text two days later he’s not blocked me but he’s deleted me of everything help!

  • Jennifer Henderson September 23, 2016, 5:23 pm

    Me and my boyfriend were together for about a year and promised each other the world to each other. Our connection was so strong and nothing stopped us from separating for a while especially since our families come from different cultures and religions. As time went by, we started having problems because of the family issue and he came to terms that it is risky to continue the relationship when we are unsure of the future. I have been doing no contact and it has been two weeks. He still had me on social media and everything. I even posted a few pictures of myself and sporting activities which I know he could see. Once I posted something about a concert that was near his place, he saw it and decided to unfollow me. He still has me on facebook, but I have no idea if that’ll last. He hasn’t reached out once to me since I started no contact. I don’t know what I should do.

  • enough games September 20, 2016, 4:56 pm

    I believe people should stop with the mind games. !!! Who cares anyway who wins a stupid power struggle.
    It’s your happiness and your life .. react and be yourself .. if calling him/her immediately is what you want to do .. then do it.

    Trying to follow a set of rules “out of your character” will drive the person away. Not make them miss you or want you back any more or less. It’s usually the power games that two people who love each other and good for each other play during difficult times that creates the biggest mistrust and ruins relationships.


    Then what the other person does or does not do with this is their choice .. but if it works or not .. you will never have regrets .. you will know you where honest with yourself and the other person.

  • Kelly September 16, 2016, 4:44 pm

    My boy friend broke up with me I was needy and upset but calmed down he went out of state to work. It when he came back in town he stayed with me and we had sex it was rumored that he may be trying to date other women but when I asked him and said no problem be truthful he denies having any involvement with any one else . In 2 weeks I’m flying up to stay with him for a long weekend he seems excited but made I made a comment that I would not have sex with him if he was dating other women and that I had feelings for him and was not his friend . He in return said that he didn’t want to date anybody I’m assuming that includes me but then acted jealous when I made a comment about an actor on tv and expressed how i didn’t let him covey his feelings in our relationship. I love him and would like to rekindle things what do you think

  • Mark September 5, 2016, 3:33 am

    So my ex girlfriend broke up with me and she was in a new relationship about a week after she wanted to meet for vacation. She posted on Facebook the new relationship they exchanged I love yous on there so they must of had some friendship before. I was last out to visit long distance relationship in May and then June. June started out I love you first few days then ended up giving ring back after we were both a distant from each other. She grabbed my leg rubbed back of neck on drive to airport so she Was struggling with it or testing me. She contacted me a few times after saying she missed me was a mistake to let me go or she did it so I didn’t have to leave my family. Then 3 days after she wanted to vacation together, she said forget it, was emotional pms and little hung over. Then 7 days later new post on new bf.

  • aleena August 1, 2016, 9:06 pm

    love this tips, thank you, really need this right now!

  • janicka July 29, 2016, 10:44 pm

    he tells our friends how much he misses me and wants to see me..im just not sure im ready yet..but maybe i should really try so i can be sure of my feelings

  • carey July 28, 2016, 6:17 pm

    i didn’t want to look pathetic and so i just worked on moving on right after the sad breakup..now i feel like i wanna do all these and i hope it’s not too late

    • elly September 9, 2016, 11:19 pm

      same to me..I’ve broke up 2 years ago after 6 years been together. I was so sad that time but I dont want to look so pathetic. Even myself know how pathetic am I.Haha. Now I still love him secretly and I don’t know either the feeling will disappear one day or not.I want to do all this but thinking of he never care about her ex before me at all so must be he do the same to me.not care at all.I’ve secretly stalk him after breakup 2 years ago 2 times thats making me hurt like hell and i stop.Now I dont know where and how he is.

  • carin July 27, 2016, 1:10 pm

    love love love this post! im gonna keep this in mind, thanks!

  • cameron July 26, 2016, 12:10 pm

    some of these i haven’t really tried, im gonna pin this post so i could use them

  • sunshine July 25, 2016, 11:58 pm

    these are really sensible tips and will sure help women out there.

  • jasmine July 22, 2016, 3:37 pm

    awesome!! ill try these for sure! thx!

  • helen July 21, 2016, 1:05 pm

    take care of yourself – this is the best thing you can do, not for him but for you.

  • jenny July 20, 2016, 2:03 pm

    we’ve been together for 2 years & i could say we were happy & enjoyed many things together. i hope i can still be w/ him

  • chiara July 19, 2016, 1:49 pm

    i would do all of these..haha

  • iren July 18, 2016, 12:04 pm

    do the things you love, things that you enjoy the most esp those you didnt get to do when you were with him. happiness will be so evident and will make him really think about you and your relationship.

  • MMM July 15, 2016, 9:36 am

    We were a great couple. We have four children. We were very good friends and were married for 19 years. At some point I was diagnosed with depression. He became distant, We stopped having sex and after two years he said he wanted to move out, but work on our marriage. We went to therapy but it was not working. He filed for divorce but was saying we will get closer and maybe marry again. We saw each other all the time, went to dates, etc. I trusted him and was sure that we would fix our problems. He was saying, even if we won’t get married again, we always would be together, grow old together and so on. He was maintaining that he was not thinking about anybody. Then, after final papers of divorce arrived, he said he met somebody a month before and wanted to be with her. I was devastated and suspect that he started an affair a long time ago, but don’t know for sure. He wanted to stay friend, but I am not in contact with him unless about things related to kids. He pretty immediately started telling people that his new girlfriend, who is 20 years younger than him and is pretty ugly, will move in with him. When people ask him what he likes about her, he says she is a good manager (at work) and has a good CV. Can this be really that serious?

  • janella July 14, 2016, 9:47 pm

    whatever the outcome may be, its best that you make yourself better. do it for yourself, not for him or anybody else.

  • felicitas July 13, 2016, 2:04 pm

    definitely do NOT contact him! this makes or breaks it..ive tried it & it worked

  • gillian July 12, 2016, 11:35 pm

    yup, youre right..its important to understand what really happened in your relationship.

  • faye July 11, 2016, 7:35 pm

    i’ll forward this to my bff, she is in real need of these stuff :)

  • jenna July 7, 2016, 6:34 pm

    i think i’m gonna have to try these tips. thanks!

  • dria July 5, 2016, 3:09 pm

    i let him know im having so much fun and doing a lot better

  • Faz July 3, 2016, 9:12 pm

    So im a year younger than him, hes off back home from uni and next year he is moving to a uni closer to home, it turns out hes going to the uni ive wanted to go to since i was 14 but i wont be going uni for annother year after, he finally decided 2 week before he goes home that he doesnt want to be with me as the long distance thing wont work though its like half an hour on the train, and not to long ago we was making plans about me going down to see him he says its not that im not worth it but that we both constantly will be unhappy and paranoid and worrying tho he litrally lives a 40 min bus drive away now and it was never a problem. I cant help but feel like theres annother reason tho he swears theres not. Its very fresh and im yet to get my belongings so the no contact phaze isnt in action but ild like to know if it would work for a situation that involves distance, and well unis not exactly filled with classyness when it comes to relationships ect.alls i want is for him to atleast try and make a go of things, even if it doesnt work out it would mean ild know we tried and theres nothing we could of done. Hope you can help

  • darina July 1, 2016, 2:11 pm

    well..i jst try to let him i know im moving on, having fun..and make sure he sees it

  • floretta June 29, 2016, 8:17 pm

    yes, be the best version of urself..whatever happens, its a win-win 4 u

  • celeste June 28, 2016, 7:38 pm

    i always try to make him feel jealous by posting on social media & stuff..haha

  • gigi June 24, 2016, 6:16 pm

    i usually make him jealous but in just a subtle way and it always works! ;)

  • becky June 23, 2016, 7:28 pm

    i didnt contact him on purpose since the breakup..hope its working sumhow

  • idella June 22, 2016, 1:46 pm

    im definitely gonna try this formula :)

  • diannamay June 21, 2016, 6:25 pm

    social media is such a big platform now & i definitly use it as my stage esp in this times & it works all the time

  • sage June 20, 2016, 1:03 pm

    ill put this in mind..luv d ideas u shared

  • reign June 17, 2016, 1:08 pm

    ooohh..i gotta need this! haha

  • hayden June 16, 2016, 7:36 pm

    we both had some bad times but i think what’s imp is that there are far more good times spent together..i hope theres still a chance we can fix things

  • shawna June 15, 2016, 4:42 pm

    good thing i came up reading this post! thx

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