If you’re looking for ways to make your ex-boyfriend miss you, that probably means that ultimately you want to get back together with him.
Makes sense, right? After all, if he misses you, that feeling should make him want to get back together with you.
Unfortunately, in reality just having him miss you isn’t enough. If you really want to get him back and keep him for good, it takes more than him feeling sad that you’re not together anymore.
Now, I don’t want you to take what I am saying the wrong way. You certainly must make him miss you if you ever want to get him to try to win you back, but it takes more than that to get him back and keep him for good.
Think of it like a formula. In order to get the result you want, you have to do the entire formula not just parts.
If you only tried to make him miss you but didn’t do anything else, you wouldn’t end up getting back together with him.
I’ve always been extremely skeptical of anything that isn’t backed by scientific evidence and proof. As a dating and relationship coach, I help a lot of women get their ex back and constantly read all the psychological and scientific studies backing up what works to get your ex back. I don’t like to leave things up to chance.
Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?
Leaving things up to chance means that you hope that something will happen, but you don’t have any tangible proof that it will go the way you want it to.
That’s not the way I do things. The only things I recommend are the proven, effective strategies that not only get your ex back but let you keep him for good.
I wouldn’t feel right giving you information without knowing for a fact that it’s been scientifically proven and is backed by a load of evidence. I never give advice based on theories without feeling confident that it’ll work for you. That is why I am so intrigued by all the scientific literature related to reconciliation with an ex.
I’ve learned so much and made so many key realizations because of all my research…
… and I’m going to share with you right now exactly what to do to get your ex back and keep him for good.
You’re Starting Out Way Ahead Of The Game
What do I mean by that? I mean you’ve got a huge advantage already, and you might not even know it.
And shockingly enough, it’s very related to going through withdrawal.
What does drug withdrawal have to do with a breakup? Mentally, breakups are actually very similar to how it feels when you quit a drug, and go through withdrawal. Drugs stimulate the pleasure center of the brain, increasing the amount of dopamine and making you feel a general sense of euphoria.
When you quit the drug, you feel a profound low. You might feel lethargic, like you have no energy and no real spring in your step. You might see pictures of your ex boyfriend or be driving, hear a song on the radio and end up crying in a ball of tears… a general sense of sadness might make your entire body hurt when you even think of the breakup. Anything that reminds you of him will bring up this overwhelming sadness and possibly even regret.
All of these reactions can actually be explained by science, by this opposite reaction to the euphoria you experienced while in the relationship.
Loveis actually like an addiction. It’s been scientifically linked.
This is just one scientific theory, but there’s more where that came from!
There Is A 90% Chance That Your Boyfriend Already Misses You
How could I be so sure about that? I’ll tell you in one second.
First, I want to talk about something that a lot of women worry about after a breakup. They worry that they’re obsessing over the relationship too much, that they’ve somehow crossed some invisible boundary and are abnormally sad about the end of the relationship.
The truth? Nope. It’s not abnormal at all. In fact, it’s extremely common to feel very sad and fixate on the breakup after a relationship, and the vast majority of people go through it.
Which means what? It means your ex is also almost certainly thinking about you! That’s the beauty of understanding universal human reactions to a breakup. It gives you insight into the same processhe is going through. It is not only you.
Now, we do not know exactlywhat he is thinking. He could be thinking good or bad things.
But the fact that he is thinking about you means it’s possible (and even likely) that he is even missing you.
Another thing you need to know… missing your ex or thinking about your ex does not magically stop just because someone enters a relationship. So if you’re in a relationship right now, you might still miss your ex. Same goes for him (especially if it’s a rebound relationship).
Now, let’s get back to that 90% chance I was talking about. How can I make that claim?
Because it’s backed up by scientific studies and cold hard facts.
Have you ever stalked your ex’s Instagram or Facebook, trying to find out whether he has a new girlfriend, what she looks like and what they are up to? Have you done this with an overwhelming sense of panic mixed with an unexplainable curiosity? Do you only end up more upset and frustrated in the end?
Even in my own life… I admit, I have done this. I recall how I acted after a bad breakup with a girl I really loved. I would check her social media, trying to figure out how she was doing. I wanted to know what was going on with her.
You are not alone. In fact, this study (1) shows that 90% of people wind up secretly spying on their ex through social media. What does this mean? Well… it means there’s a 90% chance that your ex-boyfriend is going to be secretly checking your social media – and missing you more and more.
The point is…
You’ve Got A Huge Advantage Already
Even if you are broken up, in all likelihood (based on science) your ex probably still has you on his mind… often.
And if your ex has you on his mind often… you can use this to get an advantage, correct?
Yep. This is what is going to put you in the position of power when it comes to making your ex miss you. Since he already has you on his mind… so this puts you in an excellent position since it’s not going to even be too difficult to get him to desperately miss you.
So wait… does this make it super simple to make your ex miss you?
Uh, well… no, not exactly.
There are many things you need to do in order to accomplish this.
But here is the main point I am trying to get across.
At the moment, your ex has you on his mind way too often. So let’s take this baseline and think about what would happen if you add an expert’s advice on top of this. Making your ex boyfriend miss you should be super easy, right?
Before we get to that and I explain the formula for making him miss you I have to give you a key understanding so that you maximize your shot of success.
The Most Important Thing That Makes or Breaks Whether Your Ex Misses You
What determines whether or not your ex-boyfriend misses you?
The nature of the time you spent with him is going to play a huge role in whether or not he wants to get back together with you. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I am not going to lie to you because I want you to truly know what’s going on (rather than give you false hope).
If the nature of the time you spent with him during your relationship was miserable and unhappy, the chances of him wanting to get back together with you are lower. On the flip side, if you had an amazing relationship, it’s more likely that he does want to get back together.
Who Broke Up With Who?
This is another huge factor when trying to assess whether he will want to get back together. This is another point I want to make before getting into the actual “formula” of what to do in order to get your ex back.
If you broke up with him your shot of getting him back is higher than if he broke up with you. Why? Because people inherently want what they can’t have. If he had you and you ended the relationship, he will be left wanting more.
In particular, if you broke up with him and it was something he 100% did not want to happen… you are going to definitely have an advantage in this situation. He is going to feel like he was powerless over losing you and will want to get back together with you. It is human instinct. If something we like is taken away from us, we want it back.
Kind of like if you are on diet: you feel deprived of something you love and enjoy. If you are staring at a piece of cake and know you can’t have it, you want it more than if you can freely eat all the cake you want. It’s an even stronger force when you’ve broken up with someone who wants to stay together with you… because the lack of cake is a self-imposed restriction, whereas someone breaking up with you when you do not want them to is not self-imposed. So if you broke up with him and he did not want you to… this is an advantage.
That is, unless … he was unfaithful, betrayed you and this caused you to break up with him. If he cheated on you (or if you cheated on him) it means the relationship wasn’t headed in a good direction. Cheating means there were fundamental problems in the relationship and the quality of time you spent together probably wasn’t that great.
But even still, this plan can work. So pay attention to the formula, which I will reveal right now! It has four phases.
How To Make Your Ex-Boyfriend Miss You
- Phase 1: Do Not Contact Him
- Phase 2: Work On Becoming Your Best Self
- Phase 3: Create Envy By Being Open To Other Men
- Phase 4: Let Him Miss You And Come Back To You
Phase 1: Don’t Contact Him
This is essential. If you are constantly texting him, telling him how much you miss him and how much you love him… this will backfire. There is absolutely nothing worse than persistently trying to talk to your ex right after a breakup.
Think about it. The negative feelings and emotions at the end of a relationship overwhelm everything else, forcing the couple to break up. If you don’t give talking to each other a break after a relationship ends, then you both are constantly reminded of those ‘end of the relationship’ negative feelings and emotions.
You have to give him a chance to forget the trauma and negativity of the end of the relationship before you talk to him again, or all he’ll be able to think about is how bad he felt at the end of the relationship (and then attach all those bad feelings to you).
It’s hard to miss someone who is constantly in your face, trying to contact you. Give him room to miss you. Truly. This is so important. Without this phase, nothing will work.
You must give him room to miss you. If you are not making yourself actively available to him, he will start to want what he cannot have. People want what is out of their reach. This is key when it comes to making your ex miss you and ultimately getting him back.
I know “no contact” can be hard, especially if you have the instinct to call or text your ex. I understand how hard it can be to control yourself when you are in an emotional state and you miss him a lot and just want to reach out. But trust me, following “no contact” is worth the benefits you will get in the long run (making it possible to get back together with him). It is absolutely essential to stop contacting him and never, ever plead with him to get back together.
If you have already done this up to this point, it’s not the best situation, but it can be fixed if you stop right now and follow this formula, which leads me to the next phase…
Phase 2: Become Your Best Self
This has subcategories with it, so let’s get started.
Make Fitness a Top Priority
Now, I want to make this very clear: I am not saying you must be a certain weight or go out of your way to be a certain way to fit some societal idea of what is right. I am not saying this. I am simply being honest about how men are going to be the most attracted to you when you are in the best shape for you. I am talking about doing the best with your unique body shape that you can. healthy is hot. Again, healthy not emaciated or unhealthy. Try to invest time in what you eat and add some light working out to your routine. You will feel and look your best.
Invest in Some New Makeup
You might as well do this in order to feel better about yourself. Go and buy a new lipstick, eyeliner or something that makes you feel sexy and attractive. It’s all about how you feel about yourself. If you take extra care in applying your makeup, you will go out and feel better. That’s what it’s all about. Both looking and feeling your best.
Take Care of Yourself
In general, make yourself a priority. Take care of your health, your general well-being and make sure you take the time to do this as well.
Are there female friends you have lost touch with? Re-unite! Go out, meet new people and be yourself. Let go of any sadness you have and distract yourself with true fun. Learn how to laugh again, to have a good time and be in the company of others who you can truly be yourself with.
Social Media Image
Putting your best foot forward includes social media. Remember we discussed how most people do stalk their ex on social media? You can use this silent stalking as an excellent way to make him yearn for you. Put up some amazingly flattering pictures looking happy and delighted with life. There are two parts to the social media part.
Step 1) Men are visual creatures. Remember how looking your best is part of this phase? Well, it spills over to this part. Post a hot picture. Do not have a profile picture of your dog or a picture of the beach. Simply post an attractive picture to make him realize what he is missing.
Step 2) Post a picture of you having a good time. Instead of him getting the comfort of knowing you are depressed without him in your life, show him you are still out and enjoying life without him needing to be in it. As I have mentioned many times in many articles, men are attracted to happy women. Not only that, he will want you more because he is going to be slightly upset at how un-upset you are. This is human instinct. He is going to want you to miss him, which will in turn make him start to miss you. Remember how having fun is part of this phase? Post a good picture of it!
Phase 3: Other Men (Create Envy)
This is an extremely risky one that I do not think is always a good idea. If you were with an extremely possessive, emotional man who would be disgusted at seeing you with another man… do not do this. This can either work very well or completely backfire and make him never want to get back together with you.
So proceed with caution and if you do decide to do this, only do it in small doses do not go overboard because I guarantee you it will backfire. I am not saying to go crazy and intentionally try to make him jealous by flirting with everyone and plastering it on social media.
What I am saying is do some things here and there that hint that you are being pursued by other men. Whether it is on Facebook or Instagram, posting a status update that shows you hanging out with another man… what is most important here is that you realize you do have options. Maybe do some casual flirting with men you meet.
This will help you see that you do not have to be so hung up on your ex only. Now, you might meet other men and realize you only want your ex back but you also might meet other men and realize there is a whole world out there full of new people to meet. This will help your vibe when you interact with your ex in the future.
He will feel that you are a woman who has choice. In fact, you do not even have to flaunt meeting new men at all. The best option is to simply do things you want and have fun, which will give you the confidence of having a choice. When he feels this vibe, he will not want to lose you to another man and instinctually want to have you back.
Phase 4: Let Him Miss You And Come Back To You
This is the simplest phase of all, but one of the hardest to do correctly.
If you’ve completed phase 1, you know that you shouldn’t be contacting him in order to concentrate on getting yourself into the best headspace and mindset that you can be in.
Also, you’re giving both you and your ex space to let the negativity of the breakup fade. That way, he remembers how good you were together without those memories being tainted by the end of the relationship.
This phase is crucial. You need to put everything that you’ve gained from the first three phases of this plan together and let him come back to you.
Once you’ve put phases 1 through 3 into action, you should be feeling a little better, working on yourself, and also having other options in your dating life.
When all that comes together, it can be tempting to reach out and contact him. After all, you’re feeling really good, so you should reach out to him, right?
While it’s good that you’re feeling better and in a better headspace, in the end it will be much more powerful if you let him reach out to you first.
If he does it, it’s his idea instead of yours. It will feel to him like he’s pursuing you and trying to win you back. If you reach out to him, it might make him feel like you’re trying to manipulate him into a relationship.
So phase 4 is simple: sit tight, keep working on yourself, keep pursuing other options in your dating life, and let him miss you and come back to you.
Now, I want to leave you with something to think about…
How to Tell If He Misses You
Does he randomly text you out of the blue to ask you how you are doing?
Does he send you messages on social media and talk about nothing?
Does he call you when he is drunk?
Does he tell you he is thinking about you?
Does he seem to show up at places you are at?
Does he still talk to anyone you are close to?
If you have any questions or concerns, please write me a comment below and I would love to answer it! And please do let me know your success stories because there is nothing I love more than hearing success stories.
I hope that now you know how to make your ex miss you after your breakup. One important thing is that him missing you is just one piece of the puzzle, if you want him back and you want him to stay with you forever then you need to make him see you as “the one” – the woman he couldn’t live without. To do that you need this secret formula to get your ex back in your arms for good, so don’t wait or you might miss your chance forever: Do You Want Your Ex Back? Use This To Get Them Back…
Want to find out if you can get your ex back? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can ever get him back or if he’s gone for good…