Everybody knows what a difficult time a breakup is. Only James Griffin wrote a song called Breaking Up Is Easy, but when you get to listen to it, the title turns out to be sarcastic.
So, when a split has come and left you desolate, you want to live it down as soon as it is humanly possible. There are ways to palliate the anguish. Hopefully you will use them as advice and not for self-comfort – anyway, here they are.
Cry if You Want To
Don’t be afraid to cry it out. It’s only natural if you broke up with a guy you loved.
Actually it’s the right way to ease up the internal pressure, give vent to your feelings. At first you may think you will dissolve in tears, but at a given moment your eyes will dry up.
Try to Divert
Every day do a little of something that will set you on the healing path – learn self-help methods, go to the gym, read a book; get involved into anything that will take your mind off your woes.
Meditate or say a prayer to clean your mind and soul. You may not be in the right mood for things, but it’s useless to wait until the mood is right, go and do it. Thus, the best way to survive a breakup is to act.
Seek Professional Help
You need support, someone to share your emotions with. Don’t even think of closing up and enduring it alone.
If you are not eager for your friends to know the whole story, look around for groups for people left alone and unburden yourself to those whom you will never meet afterwards.
It’s not the time to shy from professional help, why not consult a good family therapist and see what they can do for you?
Take a Firm Stand with Your Ex
If your former boyfriend continues to press his presence on you, tell him to stay away because you can’t get around to tending to your wounds properly.
If he refuses to move out or utters threats, get a consultation with a lawyer and explain to the obstinate boyfriend how exactly you can enforce law upon him.
Get Yourself Up and About
Avoid just sitting at home and wallowing in your grief. Go for a walk, cook a meal, do some chores. Walk about the stores and see if anything catches your eyes, go to see a movie.
There are businesses that give their personnel a leave for mental healing, see if you are entitled to it.
You can’t go to sleep? Don’t lie doing nothing, pick up a book, immerse yourself in a crossword puzzle, choose a movie that will distract you. Fill your heart and mind with new impressions.
Don’t Look for a New Relationship
Don’t be in a hurry to get yourself a new boyfriend. The temptation is strong to get embroiled in a rebound relationship by having another guy make up for the loss we suffered.
On the one hand, it’s really helpful for the time being, on the other hand, you want to get over the anguish and build up another steady relationship. In this case any substitutions won’t leave you satisfied eventually.
Go out and Enjoy Company
It won’t do to stay alone for long periods brooding. Go to a café for a snack, go to get-togethers, find new friends and get to know them better.
Your local community is likely to be planning some events, you might like to participate. After a breakup, there are, of course, times you will want to be alone, but healing is generally linked with being sociable and getting support.
Let Your Feelings Take the Lead
Did you hear a small voice telling you a separation was coming? Maybe right now it is talking to you telling it will be fine in the end.
Stay in touch with your feelings and let them prompt you on.
Don’t Let Pain Rush You Into Things
You might want to change your apartment or even go away to another town, quit your job, reinvent your life altogether.
Such intentions to take your life apart and reset it completely are another way of hiding from what you really feel.
It’s better to refrain from any major changes and believe that, given patience, you will quiet down and find a new love.
Find somebody who got over a painful breakup and succeeded in building a new healthy relationship.
Listen to their stories, find such stories on the Internet or purchase a clever book on how to survive a split – there ought to be plenty of them! You are sure to get a lot of insight, advice and vicarious support that will smooth your way to a new happiness.
Suffering is only temporary, you live this life to be happy and contented, and your future has wonders in store for you. The less residue of the past pangs and heartaches you will carry with you, the better your new love will flourish. But for this you have to go through the current changes with as little emotional loss as possible.
About the Author
Daria Kurilko is the founder, writer and editor of Geniusbeauty.com – an online guide for women about beauty, health and relationships. She has a master’s degree in sociology with a number of scientific publications to her credit and extensive experience in marketing and PR. Daria, who currently lives in Wiesbaden, Germany, is also a loving mother and wife. Since 2007 she enjoys sharing her experiences and broad knowledge about all things fashion, nutrition and lifestyle with her readers.