There are ups and downs in every relationship, which is but natural, yet while some of the dips are just a phase that’s left behind easily, there are others that leave scars. So, some habits of yours can definitely be insidious for relationships. Here are a few of them that are especially damaging – if you are that way inclined, maybe it’s worth your while to try and shake them off for the sake of a healthy relationship.
Really, you won’t go far without trust. We’re all immersed in communication; why should you stay watchful in case your partner is being unfaithful? You ought to feel that he’s in love with you and not interested in hooking up with someone else. Those having a habit of picking up your partner’s phone when lying unattended in order to look who calls and texts him, it’s not innocent curiosity but willful snooping. And a sad lack of trust. This kind of spying will never go down well with men, believe me when I tell you.
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It’s probably only human to compare and juxtapose, but you’d do good to avoid it. Comparing your man with an onscreen chunk of a hero once for a joke is all right; drawing comparisons between him and your ex is not so good, and if you make a habit of it, it is downright detrimental. If comparisons just slip off your tongue and you value your present relationship, your man will be only getting testier seeing that you prefer others to him. This is a very disrupting thing to do.
Losing yourself in a relationship
Men do appreciate when a woman is adaptable and flexible, but not to the point when it looks as if she was forgetting about herself completely. Your friends, your pastimes, your commitments remain with you and sometimes take you away from your man – it’s perfectly understandable. However important your man is for you, he won’t want to take over some aspects of your life, you are expected to have them for your own. Your love won’t suffer from it, but it can from mindless clinging.
Feeding your man lies
I’m sure you know that, but a bit of a timely reminder always comes in handy. We are so accustomed to lying that we grew to disregard it – but piling up lies can sure undermine your mutual trust. While some lies are really harmless, don’t make a habit of it – on the contrary, make a point of building your relationship on honesty and openness, clear it of white lies as much as you can. Both of you will feel better for that!
As two people get closer to each other, they observe more and more imperfections. You didn’t expect your s.o. to be ideally suited to you, yet there come up things that do cramp your style. It can be hard to wink at some behaviors, but it’s just one of these strains any relationship imposes on you time and time again. When what any of you does hurts the other, have it out, talk it over and leave it behind. No reason in keeping your anger smoldering for weeks and months – far better to forgive, for both of you.
Chalking up score
If you haven’t learned to live down your anger, you will probably begin to count and balance the hurts. Now, that must be out of the question altogether. While arguing and bickering may not wear the relationship thin, the desire to come out a winner surely will. In a strong union, arguments are about meeting one another halfway, not about winning or losing. I’m sure you don’t want your love turn to fight with the passing of time together. Talk issues over, don’t chalk them up.
Making your feelings routine
We know that we are apt to take our loved ones for granted. Having agreed that you’re in love and you’re a couple, you could dispose with reminding your s.o. (and yourself!) how good you feel with them around. Tell your man you love him, show him your appreciation, pay attention to him, and you will see your bond growing stronger. Make a gift to you and your partner of this satisfying feeling!
Of course, it’s far from being a complete list of issues that can make a good relationship collapse. Your own ideas on that are welcome.
About the Author
Daria Kurilko is the founder, writer and editor of Geniusbeauty.com – an online guide for women about beauty, health and relationships. She has a master’s degree in sociology with a number of scientific publications to her credit and extensive experience in marketing and PR. Daria, who currently lives in Wiesbaden, Germany, is also a loving mother and wife. Since 2007 she enjoys sharing her experiences and broad knowledge about all things fashion, nutrition and lifestyle with her readers.
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