The Real Reasons Men Pull Away When They Are Falling In Love

The Real Reasons Men Pull Away When They Are Falling In Love

So you’re here because your man is pulling away, right when things were starting to get serious.

Things were going great with this guy – like really, really great. You feel a real connection with him, it feels like he might even be the one.

You’ve let your guard down with him because you feel like you can trust him, and what’s more important – it feels like he could feel the same way about you.

Then, when you’re at your most vulnerable, he started to grow distant from you.

It feels like he’s pulling away, like he might even be losing interest in you. Like he’s afraid things are getting serious and he doesn’t know what to do next.

You’re here because on some level you want to know why a guy would pull away when things are starting to get serious, and is there anything you can do to stop him from pulling away?

more: Why Do Men Pull Away?

Why Do Guys Pull Away When Things Start To Get Serious?

I want to take a look at some reasons he might be pulling away from you.

Before you get worried about them, first let’s make sure there’s something to actually worry about. If it’s only been one or two days that he’s seemed distant, then you probably don’t have to worry about him pulling away from you.

In truth, it could have absolutely nothing to do with you. He could be stressed about something else in his life that is completely separate from you and your relationship.

Stressing out about the state of your relationship or worrying that he’s losing interest in you because he’s been weird for a couple of days is only going to put you in a worse position emotionally and harm your relationship.

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…

So take the time, right now, to think about whether you really think he’s pulling away, or whether he’s just dealing with something else for a couple of days and he’ll be back to normal soon.

more: Why Men Fall In Love And Why Men Leave “Perfect” Women

If you really think he’s growing distant from you, and things are definitely not the way they used to be, it might be for one of these reasons:

The Biggest Reasons Guys Get Distant When They’re Falling In Love

  • He could be afraid of losing his freedom
  • He could be afraid of getting married, or he could think that he’s not the type of guy to get married
  • He could need a break from the intensity of his emotions about the relationship
  • He could be worried inside that you might not be the one
  • He could be feeling rushed in the relationship and need a second to slow down
  • He could be afraid of what this relationship means in your lives and in the future for both of you

That’s a list of common reasons that a guy might start pulling away – especially right when things start to get really serious.

It’s totally normal for a guy to pull back and take stock of a relationship when things are starting to get serious, so if he’s growing distant for a little bit, chances are there’s nothing to worry about… if you do the right thing.

more: The Exact Signs A Guy Is Pulling Away

What’s the right thing to do in this situation?

Well, all these reasons might seem different from each other, but the truth is there’s a common thread that runs through all of them. The right thing to do in all of these situations is actually the same.

What Should You Do If He’s Growing Distant From You?

The common thread that runs through all those reasons a guy might be starting to grow distant is this: they’re all about him, not you.

All of those reasons are about his emotions, his fears, and his hangups about relationships. They’re things he needs to work through on his own.

more: What To Do When A Guy Withdraws

If he’s acting distant, the worst thing you can do is chase after him trying to chase his affection, attention, and love.

I know this situation feels awful. I know it’s unbelievably scary that the man you’ve let your guard down to is acting distant towards you.

But if you come chasing after him with that insecurity, fear, and panic flooding your mood, it’s only going to make things worse.

more: Why Did He Withdraw After Sex?

It will make him want to get away from you even further, because he’ll sense that negativity and want to get away from it.

It will also make him feel like you’re trying to control him and drag him back to your side (which will freak him out even more if he feels like he’s missing his freedom).

It puts you in a terrible position where you’re chasing after his love, rather than accepting the love that grows organically between you. Chasing after love never, ever works.

So what should you do?

more: The Exact Reasons Men Disappear

Give Him The Space He Needs To Work Through It On His Own

The common answer to every reason why he might be acting distant towards you is the same: give him the space he’s looking for.

Sometimes guys just need space to work out how they’re feeling about a relationship. He might need some time in order to work through his emotions about getting more and more serious with you.

Guys often have conflicting emotions about a relationship getting serious. Both of you are giving up a degree of freedom (being able to see other people and being able to imagine seeing other people in the future), and that’s something that can weigh heavily on a guy for a little while.

more: The Top 3 Reasons Men Pull Away

He needs to weigh what he’s giving up against what he’s getting (a loving, committed relationship with someone he’s compatible with). The only way for him to figure that out for himself is on his own, when he can get perspective on it.

The point is, any common reason that he’s growing distant requires that he take some time on his own to work through it himself.

When you give him the time and space he needs to work through how he’s feeling without chasing after him and chasing his love, it’s huge to him.

more: When A Guy Withdraws…

It shows him that you understand what he needs and are able to give it to him – even if it’s uncomfortable and scary in the short term.

That’s huge. It means he sees that you have the emotional intelligence to empathize with how he’s feeling, and you have the patience to do the best thing for him to feel normal about the relationship again.

There’s another reason giving him space is the right thing to do, and it’s actually the most important reason: giving him space gives him the space to miss you again.

more: When A Guy Loves You…

When he’s feeling distant from you, he’s weighing how it would feel to be single in the future against how good it feels in the relationship to be with you.

If you’re constantly chasing after him, calling him, texting him, and trying to pull him back to you, he won’t have the space to miss how amazing it feels when the relationship was going well.

more: Why Men Pull Away When They’re In Love

What’s more, constantly chasing his attention will actually make him feel bad about the relationship, because it will feel awful to him if you’re chasing after him trying to get validation and emotional reassurance from him (just like it feels awful for you to do the chasing).

But when you give him space, it gives him the opportunity to miss all the things he loves about the relationship. It lets him reflect and miss all the good parts, while the not so good parts fade from his mind. (As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder).

more: Why Men Pull Away When You Want Them Most

So give him space, and let him have the time to miss you again.

If he doesn’t come back, it feels awful, but it means that you just weren’t meant to be. If that’s the case, nothing you could have said or done would have brought him back to you.

more: What Makes Men Fall In Love

But if he does come back, it will be because he’s already worked through his doubts and emotions on his own, and he’s ready to commit himself fully to the relationship.

Now that you know why men sometimes get distant when they’re falling in love, it’s important to understand that if you want to keep him once he’s started pulling away, you need to know exactly what to do so pay attention because the next step is vitally important. If you are already interested in a man and you feel he might be losing interest, going cold or pulling away then you need to read this right now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…

Another problem that ruins relationships and leaves women alone forever is this: Do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material (the type of woman he commits himself to) or if he sees you as just a fling? If not you need to read this next: The #1 Thing Men Desire In A Woman…

Want to find out if he’s really losing interest? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

32 comments… add one
  • Debby June 3, 2017, 1:21 am

    Thanks for your valuable advice. I’m sure many women do gain valuable things from this article. Keep up the writing!

  • mw June 1, 2017, 11:04 am

    Hi. I been dating this guy for 3months we been doing really great. And we have over 10k in text. He had his 2 teeth removed and now he’s really not texting. He’s acting distant a Lil. He was never like this. Our relationship is awesome he even says it. I’m not used to this. Please help . I really dont wanna lose him. Ty and we been saying I love you

  • destiny May 25, 2017, 5:27 pm

    i never thought some men are just like this. thanks for this information that could surely help women experiencing such.

  • paige May 24, 2017, 11:46 pm

    i really need this right now. im thankful i came across this article.

  • stella May 23, 2017, 6:29 pm

    you’re right. it could be a million reasons why, don’t look for faults and flaws in yourself.

  • gigi May 22, 2017, 2:56 pm

    this happened to me, i totally panicked but then my boyfriend explained to me everything when i asked him and we talked about the whole process. in the end, we learned from each other and we appreciate each other more. in every relationship, communication is vital.

  • evangeline May 18, 2017, 9:00 pm

    this is something everyone should consider. we all should be ready and informed before this happens, or better yet to even prevent it from happening.

  • amanda May 16, 2017, 3:06 pm

    good read! thanks for making me realize things that actually happen in real life.

  • andrea May 15, 2017, 3:31 pm

    thanks for sharing this..i think now i understand more clearly

  • pia May 10, 2017, 2:29 pm

    they really tend to panic upon realizing they won’t have their freedom. but they’ll get over it as long as you make him feel that you’re not trying to put him in a cage like a poor animal.

  • callie May 9, 2017, 5:50 pm

    men’s initial reaction would be fear of losing their freedom. haha

  • fiona May 8, 2017, 11:57 pm

    thanks for this post, now i understand my boyfriend

  • felicity May 3, 2017, 2:06 pm

    i really believe this very normal for a man because they would realize that the rest of their lives is gonna end soon! haha

  • zenia May 2, 2017, 5:27 pm

    men are too afraid of so many things, they complicate things even more.

  • wilma May 1, 2017, 12:27 pm

    some men are really afraid of commitment, so don’t be in a rush because they won’t like it and you won’t love the result either

  • hope April 26, 2017, 2:24 pm

    thanks for your piece of advice. im sure a lot of women do learn from your writings. keep up the good work!

  • elizabeth April 25, 2017, 8:21 pm

    thanks for your wonderful work. women are guided about relationship matters via your page

  • guilla April 24, 2017, 4:03 pm

    i think you’re right. i’ll just stop stressing about things and do better, love better.

  • callie April 23, 2017, 11:57 pm

    i think the answer is yes, he is most likely pulling away now. what do i do??

  • valerie April 20, 2017, 11:46 pm

    i think men are too unfair but reading this, makes me understand better

  • claudette April 18, 2017, 11:45 pm

    giving him the space he wants is really risky. but o the other hand, you do not want to suffocate him in the relationship if he really needs it.

  • jane April 17, 2017, 2:32 pm

    there are hundreds of reasons a man can have but these are surely the most common.

  • livvy April 10, 2017, 8:38 am

    men usually pull away when they come to realize they’re about to commit their whole lives to this one person

  • madelaine April 6, 2017, 6:43 pm

    men sometimes are just much more complicated than us, women!

  • sammy April 5, 2017, 11:53 pm

    this is so true..i have experienced this bit ended up well

  • shaira April 4, 2017, 9:11 pm

    now i get it. we so need the space too sometimes.

  • allona April 3, 2017, 9:55 am

    do not blame yourself if you ever feel like he’s pulling away. it is not always the woman’s fault

  • cassiopea April 1, 2017, 5:25 pm

    sounds crazy at first but maybe that’s how men really are with relationships and commitment

  • sheila April 1, 2017, 5:46 am

    most of the time men do this when they already got what they need from you… :(

  • magna March 31, 2017, 1:26 am

    i agree with you corrie! :) men are difficult to understand!

  • corrie March 26, 2017, 11:51 pm

    this is crazy! men are too complicated with their feelings

  • LJae March 23, 2017, 9:50 pm

    wow, this is something i really needed to know about. im glad i read through this.

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