So you’re here because your man is pulling away, right when things were starting to get serious.
Things were going great with this guy – like really, really great. You feel a real connection with him, it feels like he might even be the one.
You’ve let your guard down with him because you feel like you can trust him, and what’s more important – it feels like he could feel the same way about you.
Then, when you’re at your most vulnerable, he started to grow distant from you.
It feels like he’s pulling away, like he might even be losing interest in you. Like he’s afraid things are getting serious and he doesn’t know what to do next.
You’re here because on some level you want to know why a guy would pull away when things are starting to get serious, and is there anything you can do to stop him from pulling away?
more: Why Do Men Pull Away?
Why Do Guys Pull Away When Things Start To Get Serious?
I want to take a look at some reasons he might be pulling away from you.
Before you get worried about them, first let’s make sure there’s something to actually worry about. If it’s only been one or two days that he’s seemed distant, then you probably don’t have to worry about him pulling away from you.
In truth, it could have absolutely nothing to do with you. He could be stressed about something else in his life that is completely separate from you and your relationship.
Stressing out about the state of your relationship or worrying that he’s losing interest in you because he’s been weird for a couple of days is only going to put you in a worse position emotionally and harm your relationship.
Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?
So take the time, right now, to think about whether you really think he’s pulling away, or whether he’s just dealing with something else for a couple of days and he’ll be back to normal soon.
If you really think he’s growing distant from you, and things are definitely not the way they used to be, it might be for one of these reasons:
The Biggest Reasons Guys Get Distant When They’re Falling In Love
- He could be afraid of losing his freedom
- He could be afraid of getting married, or he could think that he’s not the type of guy to get married
- He could need a break from the intensity of his emotions about the relationship
- He could be worried inside that you might not be the one
- He could be feeling rushed in the relationship and need a second to slow down
- He could be afraid of what this relationship means in your lives and in the future for both of you
That’s a list of common reasons that a guy might start pulling away – especially right when things start to get really serious.
It’s totally normal for a guy to pull back and take stock of a relationship when things are starting to get serious, so if he’s growing distant for a little bit, chances are there’s nothing to worry about… if you do the right thing.
What’s the right thing to do in this situation?
Well, all these reasons might seem different from each other, but the truth is there’s a common thread that runs through all of them. The right thing to do in all of these situations is actually the same.
What Should You Do If He’s Growing Distant From You?
The common thread that runs through all those reasons a guy might be starting to grow distant is this: they’re all about him, not you.
All of those reasons are about his emotions, his fears, and his hangups about relationships. They’re things he needs to work through on his own.
If he’s acting distant, the worst thing you can do is chase after him trying to chase his affection, attention, and love.
I know this situation feels awful. I know it’s unbelievably scary that the man you’ve let your guard down to is acting distant towards you.
But if you come chasing after him with that insecurity, fear, and panic flooding your mood, it’s only going to make things worse.
It will make him want to get away from you even further, because he’ll sense that negativity and want to get away from it.
It will also make him feel like you’re trying to control him and drag him back to your side (which will freak him out even more if he feels like he’s missing his freedom).
It puts you in a terrible position where you’re chasing after his love, rather than accepting the love that grows organically between you. Chasing after love never, ever works.
So what should you do?
Give Him The Space He Needs To Work Through It On His Own
The common answer to every reason why he might be acting distant towards you is the same: give him the space he’s looking for.
Sometimes guys just need space to work out how they’re feeling about a relationship. He might need some time in order to work through his emotions about getting more and more serious with you.
Guys often have conflicting emotions about a relationship getting serious. Both of you are giving up a degree of freedom (being able to see other people and being able to imagine seeing other people in the future), and that’s something that can weigh heavily on a guy for a little while.
He needs to weigh what he’s giving up against what he’s getting (a loving, committed relationship with someone he’s compatible with). The only way for him to figure that out for himself is on his own, when he can get perspective on it.
The point is, any common reason that he’s growing distant requires that he take some time on his own to work through it himself.
When you give him the time and space he needs to work through how he’s feeling without chasing after him and chasing his love, it’s huge to him.
more: When A Guy Withdraws…
It shows him that you understand what he needs and are able to give it to him – even if it’s uncomfortable and scary in the short term.
That’s huge. It means he sees that you have the emotional intelligence to empathize with how he’s feeling, and you have the patience to do the best thing for him to feel normal about the relationship again.
There’s another reason giving him space is the right thing to do, and it’s actually the most important reason: giving him space gives him the space to miss you again.
more: When A Guy Loves You…
When he’s feeling distant from you, he’s weighing how it would feel to be single in the future against how good it feels in the relationship to be with you.
If you’re constantly chasing after him, calling him, texting him, and trying to pull him back to you, he won’t have the space to miss how amazing it feels when the relationship was going well.
What’s more, constantly chasing his attention will actually make him feel bad about the relationship, because it will feel awful to him if you’re chasing after him trying to get validation and emotional reassurance from him (just like it feels awful for you to do the chasing).
But when you give him space, it gives him the opportunity to miss all the things he loves about the relationship. It lets him reflect and miss all the good parts, while the not so good parts fade from his mind. (As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder).
So give him space, and let him have the time to miss you again.
If he doesn’t come back, it feels awful, but it means that you just weren’t meant to be. If that’s the case, nothing you could have said or done would have brought him back to you.
But if he does come back, it will be because he’s already worked through his doubts and emotions on his own, and he’s ready to commit himself fully to the relationship.
Now that you know why men sometimes get distant when they’re falling in love, it’s important to understand that if you want to keep him once he’s started pulling away, you need to know exactly what to do so pay attention because the next step is vitally important. If you are already interested in a man and you feel he might be losing interest, going cold or pulling away then you need to read this right now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
Another problem that ruins relationships and leaves women alone forever is this: Do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material (the type of woman he commits himself to) or if he sees you as just a fling? If not you need to read this next: The #1 Thing Men Desire In A Woman…
Want to find out if he’s really losing interest? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…