The Exact Signs A Guy Is Pulling Away From You

The Exact Signs A Guy Is Pulling Away From You

You’re here because you want to know the signs that a guy is pulling away.

You’re afraid that your man is withdrawing from you. He’s doing things (or not doing things) that make you think he’s growing more and more distant from you, and that he might even leave you.

That’s a terrifying thought. You might even be thinking that you won’t be “ok” if he breaks up with you. You just don’t want it to be true that he’s pulling away from you.

So you’re looking for signs that a guy is withdrawing from a relationship, and hoping to yourself that he won’t be doing anything on the list.

That makes sense. That’s why I’m going to give you a list of things guys do that make women afraid they’re pulling away.

more: The Exact Signs You’re With An Emotionally Unavailable Man

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…

Here Are Things Guys Do That Women Take As Signs He’s Pulling Away

  • He’s acting distant towards you all of a sudden
  • He doesn’t pick up when you call him
  • He used to text you sweet things and now he doesn’t anymore
  • He used to be more attentive and thoughtful towards you and now he’s not
  • He cancels dates on you at the last minute
  • It just feels like you’re getting weird ‘vibes’ from him
  • He goes ‘hot and cold’ on you
  • He takes forever to text you back

exact signs a guy is pulling away

If he’s doing one or a few of the things on this list, it’s easy to think that it means he’s pulling away from you.

But is that actually true?

more: Why Men Withdraw And Exactly What To Do About It

All of the above are signs that he could be withdrawing from you.

or… any and all of them could be him responding to one of a million other things going on in his life.

Reading that list all together makes it seem super obvious that he’s withdrawing. But let’s go through the list one by one and take a look at other things they could mean.

1. He’s Acting More Distant All Of A Sudden

This could mean that he’s losing interest. However, just because it could mean that doesn’t mean it definitely means that.

In fact, there are a million other reasons he could be acting distant towards you. He could have something going on in his personal life that’s draining all of his attention. He could be focusing on a problem that’s taking up all his mental energy.

He could be feeling like he has to focus on one specific thing in his life right now – and paying you less attention as a result.

Does that mean he’s withdrawing from you? No!

Could that make you feel like he’s withdrawing from you? Of course!

more: Why Men Pull Away: 3 Steps To Stop Him From Withdrawing

2. He Doesn’t Pick Up When You Call and 3. He Takes Forever To Text You Back

Many women think that if he goes a day without answering your texts or calls, it means he’s losing interest in you.

They’re picturing the guy sitting around, nothing much going on, seeing the texts and calls come in, and flat out ignoring them on purpose.

When you really take the time to think about that – doesn’t it seem a little ridiculous?

Guys are single minded. They like to focus on one thing and work through it until it’s complete. That’s why study after study has shown that women are better multi-taskers than men are.

So if he ignores your calls and texts, he’s probably focusing on something and blocking out all distractions until it’s finished. Maybe he’s got a tight deadline at work that he needs to finish.

Or maybe his phone is just dead.

Whatever the reason – if he hasn’t answered your texts and calls it doesn’t automatically mean that he’s pulling away from you – and in fact it’s almost certainly because of something else.

more: Why Did He Withdraw After Sex?

4. He’s Going ‘Hot And Cold’ On You and 5. He Used To Be More Attentive And Text Sweet Things And Now He Doesn’t

I see this behavior confuse tons of women, so I’m going to let you in on a secret that very few women know about.

When a guy is super sweet and attentive, especially at the beginning of a relationship, it’s not always what it seems. If he’s texting you things like “I can’t wait to see you again,” or “I can’t believe how much I like you, it happened so quickly,” – he’s not really being sincere.

In fact, it usually means that he’s a super insecure guy who’s looking for a concrete statement from you that you really do like him. He’s trying to ‘fish’ that statement out of you by being super sweet right at the beginning.

So if he used to be super lovey-dovey, and then backed off once you told him you felt the same, it’s probably because he’s an insecure guy who was looking for reassurance that you liked him, and now that he knows you do he’s backing down on the charm.

If this is a longer relationship we’re talking about, then there are lots of other reasons he could be less attentive now than he used to be. All the previous reasons about distractions in his life still apply – if all his mental energy is being taken up by a problem or something cropping up at work, it doesn’t mean he’s pulling away from you.

more: Exactly How To Know If You’re Being Too Needy

6. He Cancels Dates On You At The Last Minute

It’s happened to all of us, and I know that when you get cancelled on last minute it feels awful – just a wave of disappointment washing over you.

Of course, in everyone’s life we have to cancel plans last minute sometimes – whether it’s because of car troubles, or sick family members, or whatever. Sometimes life just throws you a curveball and you have to bow out of plans.

If he cancels plans last minute once or twice, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s losing interest. It’s far more likely that he had legitimate reasons to cancel.

If it’s a pattern with him, where he’s constantly cancelling plans with you last minute, that’s a different story. If that’s the case, it’s time to take a hard look at the relationship you have with him and decide whether you want it to continue or not.

Remember, you have the power to walk away from any situation if you’re not getting what you need out of it. If you don’t want to be with a guy who cancels plans all the time, and he won’t stop flaking out on you, it might be time to walk away.

more: How To Make Him Chase You Again

Now that we’ve covered those signs, let’s cover the last one:

What To Do If You’re Getting ‘Weird Vibes’ From Him

So you’re feeling some weird vibes from him – it just feels like he’s acting more distant towards you. Does that mean he’s pulling away from you?

Almost certainly not.

We covered this before, but it’s worth saying again – guys like to concentrate on one thing at a time. If he’s got something going on in his life that’s stressing him out, demanding all his attention, and monopolizing his time, it could 100% seem like he’s pulling away from you when he’s really not.

So why am I going into detail here? Because this situation can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy, really fast.

It usually goes something like this: Guy gets distracted by something in his life > his girlfriend feels his absence and starts worrying that he’s pulling away > her anxiety and fear of loss actually starts driving him away for real > the relationship ends up falling apart.

When a woman becomes afraid that her man is pulling away and leaving her, all of a sudden her feelings towards him are defined by fear, instead of happiness. Her emotions and her actions become governed by fear of loss rather than the happiness of being in a relationship.

That kind of fear and anxiety create a toxic situation where both partners feel uncomfortable and unhappy in the relationship. Usually, it results in the woman inwardly freaking out and microanalyzing everything the guy is doing, looking for ‘signs’ that he’s pulling away from her.

more: How To Know If A Guy Is Pulling Away

That feels bad enough for her, and it’s even worse when you factor in how it feels from his perspective. All of a sudden, a relationship that just felt *good* to be in suddenly feels uncomfortable. He can feel her microanalyzing his actions, and it feels like he has to walk on eggshells in order to avoid upsetting her.

That kind of dynamic is poison to a relationship. It makes it so that it’s not fun to be around each other anymore – instead of spending relaxed, comfortable, contented time with each other, she’s constantly looking for reassurance that he still likes her, and he’s having to watch everything he says and does.

more: Reasons Men Pull Away And What To Do

Eventually, relationships that fall into that kind of dynamic fall apart. Here’s the real question:

How Do You Avoid Falling Into The ‘Weird Vibe’ Trap?

If you want to avoid something like that happening in your relationship, there’s one simple thing to remember:

Don’t fall into the trap of wondering whether he’s pulling away from you. Just avoid it altogether by realizing that there’s no way of ever knowing for sure what’s going on in his head.

You can’t ever read his mind – and if you try to it will only hurt your relationship. Trying to guess what he’s thinking messes you up mentally and definitely drives him away, even if he wasn’t feeling like he had to pull away in the first place.

The best thing to do is to go about your life as you normally would, and give him the space to show you whether he’s interested or not.

One of the biggest factors (maybe the biggest) that goes towards whether a relationship works or not is whether you can answer this question with a yes: “Are you having fun with each other?”

Good relationships work because both partners have fun when they’re around each other. It feels *good* to be around each other, and that’s like a magnet that draws them closer and closer together.

more: Why Guys Pull Away

Guys will always, always, always show you whether they’re interested. If he’s interested in you, you’re not going to have to guess at it, he’ll show you with the effort he puts towards spending time with you.

However, if you’re worried he’s pulling away and looking for reassurance that he wants to spend time with you, it’s easy to not give him enough space and wind up pushing him further away.

The best thing to do is to give him the space to come to you. If he wants to be a part of the relationship, he’s going to show you that with his actions.

If he doesn’t come back to you – it sucks, but in the end you’ll be ok. All that means is that your relationship wasn’t going to work… he wouldn’t have changed his mind if you had chased after him begging him to stay. All that would have done is drive him away from you more quickly (or, if he’s not a good guy, let him wrap you around his finger while he dangled a relationship in front of you).

Better to know earlier rather than later whether he’s really interested in you or not.

If he does come back to you – great! He wasn’t withdrawing from you in the first place, and he must have been acting distant for some other reason. You avoided the ‘weird vibe’ trap and things can go back to normal.

I hope this article helped you understand the signs that a guy is pulling away. It’s a question I get asked a lot – so I wrote this article to make sure women could read the signs he’s pulling away and know how to understand them. It’s important to note that if you want to actually stop him from pulling away forever you have to know exactly what to do or else he’s as good as gone. If you want to know how, you need to read this right now: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…

Want to find out if he’s really losing interest? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

36 comments… add one
  • Uchenna October 17, 2021, 10:55 am

    I am in this exact situation right now. My very caring and loving guy suddenly appears withdrawn. This hurts. The point is that I have no idea what went wrong. Could it be because I insisted on the use of condom? The new development is freeking me out

  • Karen April 10, 2019, 12:38 am

    I’m so so glad I came across this article. I was losing my mind!!! I know it’s just all in my head, he’s going through a lot. I felt he was pulling away due to all that is going on with him at the moment. Now I understand better. Thank you so much for this article, I think it’s low-key going to save my relationship.

  • Snow Bynny February 2, 2019, 10:52 pm

    my husband does it… its scary… we have 2 kids… its terrible i feel like im outside looking in… no control of the way its going… its not right not fair like my feelings dont matter in his thinking

  • Denise July 9, 2018, 10:59 pm

    This is happening to me right now. How much space and time do you give your BF? How can you try and talk about it if they dont want to talk?

    • Kodak July 30, 2018, 2:12 pm

      You don’t. Don’t ask anymore questions. Don’t send any texts. No make any phone calls. Don’t make any sudden surprise visits to his place. OMG DO I KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS! It’s like someone is physically slicing through your guts every minute sometimes. But don’t initiate ANYTHING. HE WILL let you know when he’s had his time/space. If he sends a text of nothing more than “Hey,” then write “hey” and nothing more. I love all these articles that say keep yourself busy and life your life, but I think they have forgotten how hard that is some times. I’ll be real. Cry if you want to cry. Go to sleep if you want to go to sleep. Write in a diary. Write letters that YOU WILL NEVER SEND to him. But do not, I repeat, do NOT initiate contact. Let him know you are confident in yourself and confident in his abilities/strengths that you don’t need to nag him. Try his abilities to be a man and let him come to you. Again, YES! THIS IS HARD AS CRAP! But it works. Geezareeka does it work.

  • june March 5, 2018, 5:37 pm

    I wish I’ve read this article earlier. I just broke up with him. I felt that I’m just overanalyzing stuff.I felt that I’m bothering him too much so he distanced himself from me. I decided to give him space and cut the communication completely. (Ikr, it’s al in my head and it’s all my fault.) Nonetheless, it’s all over now. I still love him but I have to face the consequences.

  • sienna April 11, 2017, 1:37 pm

    my boyfriend suddenly wouldn’t answer my texts and calls and i felt he was really trying to pull off from me

  • stella April 10, 2017, 12:08 pm

    thanks for this information. im sure a lot of girls could relate to this

  • cyril April 5, 2017, 6:50 pm

    when he suddenly won’t text or call you and you feel like he’s avoiding must be aware he might already be pulling away.

  • jessica April 4, 2017, 11:55 pm

    Thanks for this post, women will learn a lot from

  • patrice April 3, 2017, 12:31 pm

    i’ve been really worried of my boyfriend pulling away lately. thank you for this!

  • alicia April 3, 2017, 11:07 am

    when he starts acting weird, you know there’s something bothering him. if you really care and want your relationship to last, make an effort to have good communication.

  • Alia April 1, 2017, 2:21 am

    My guy seems to be doing this
    I wanna work on things but what I do only be more hurt than I am now? :-(

  • samantha March 26, 2017, 11:51 pm

    most of the time, it’s because they are too afraid for a commitment

  • jade March 23, 2017, 9:46 pm

    when my boyfriend started to be distant and won’t answer my calls and texts they way he did before, i talked to him about it. he said he was starting to feel scared of the commitment. so we communicated and worked on the relationship the way we both want it to be. we’re still together till now.

  • jessa March 22, 2017, 4:33 pm

    this is exactly what scares me most. when you think you are having the best times of your life with your partner but then suddenly everything changes.. :'(

  • stella March 16, 2017, 7:12 pm

    what matters is that you can still do something about it. try to work things out with him if he still cares at all

  • melissa March 15, 2017, 7:00 pm

    if he’s acting distant and all, do not be too hard on yourself. a man’s weird actions are not always because of you or what you may have done.

  • denise March 14, 2017, 6:38 pm

    if he used to call you and text you sweet messages and then suddenly stops now, he might be pulling away for a reason

  • ruby March 13, 2017, 6:10 pm

    this is exactly what happened to me. it felt really terrible that my boyfriend did not want to be with me any longer :(

  • apple March 9, 2017, 6:59 pm

    i really think my boyfriend is trying to pull away from me. i’m not sure why but i’m guessing it’s because of her interest with the new girl in their office.

  • charmaine March 8, 2017, 8:41 pm

    this is exactly what’s happening with my boyfriend right now. i hope i can apply your advice here and get better outcome

  • meredith March 7, 2017, 3:12 pm

    this is a very sad situation to be in. i experienced this with my ex and i didn’t even see it coming until he just said goodbye :(

  • clarita March 6, 2017, 1:47 pm

    omg! i’m glad i came across your blog. he’s starting to take forever to text me back and quite frankly i have been feeling something strange is happening. what do i do??

  • brooklyn March 3, 2017, 4:12 pm

    he’s been so moody lately and ad tempered. i hope he’s not starting to pull away from me

  • regina March 1, 2017, 1:16 pm

    this is really sad but you need to work very hard to keep the relationship growing, not falling apart

  • amanda February 28, 2017, 4:40 pm

    i feel like my man is really distancing himself from me. all the signs you gave are visible )=

  • monica February 27, 2017, 2:23 pm

    do not beat yourself up asking what you did wrong to make him pull away, men are different and they have different means of showing and expressing themselves

  • vaughn February 24, 2017, 9:09 pm

    he started pulling away from me with less and less text messages when he used to text me all day and sometimes call me even when im at work. :(

  • Larissa February 22, 2017, 3:57 pm

    I was once withs guy who becamedistantand he would always cancel our dates. He would always say it was bec of work but I felt he wasn’t
    Really ready for a commitment so I decided to let him go

  • sandra February 20, 2017, 11:48 pm

    Some men just realize they dont want a commitment after all. Better be off without him than stay

  • ashley February 19, 2017, 3:20 am

    a man acting distant and mostly not in the mood when he’s with you is definitely trying to pull away from you.

  • tiff February 16, 2017, 1:06 pm

    oh no, i hate this kind of situation. i would never want to deal with this ever!

  • nicole February 14, 2017, 6:49 pm

    you should be aware of these signs so you can still try to make things work if he’s really trying to pull away

  • marlene February 13, 2017, 7:43 pm

    if he does not seem to be interested as before, he might be really pulling away

  • michelle February 9, 2017, 6:54 pm

    this really sucks and i dont ever want to deal with this. :(

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