Does he really care about me or are these signs my boyfriend doesn’t want me anymore?
It can be devastating when the guy you’ve had your eye on and poured your heart into just doesn’t seem to be into you. You can try every trick in the book and he doesn’t seem to respond. You bat your eyes, laugh and smile. You wear your best clothes and take extra care to look amazing. You’ve even started going to the gym more often in a last-ditch effort to appeal to him.
Why doesn’t he like you?
Why is this happening and what can you do about it?
The first thing you need to know is that it isn’t your fault. Attraction is a very complex thing, and many people aren’t even aware of the reasons they are magnetically, almost magically drawn to one person and completely repelled by another person.
You can’t control the myriad subtle psychological and evolutionary influences that make a man fall in love with a particular woman.
Even Charles Darwin couldn’t figure out exactly why men fall for women. He posited some generalities like women prefer the “fittest” man, because that will ensure their survival, but that’s a bit simplistic.
There’s also tons of bad relationship advice about “how to get the guy you want” that is totally misleading.
You’re given a bunch of empty platitudes like:
– You deserve love! (Doesn’t everybody?)
– He’s just afraid of love. (Isn’t everyone to some degree?)
– Then there’s the toxic advice that he just wants to use you and dump you, breaking your heart in the process.
Here’s some better advice. Relationships aren’t random. Your soul mate doesn’t somehow miss the cues that you are standing right in front of them.
Relationships seem easier for some people to handle because they make certain life choices, however, getting together with someone you are interested in starts with a change in your foundational beliefs.
Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?
If a man doesn’t want to be with you in the way you want him to be with you then:
1. It doesn’t mean that you are unlovable or undesirable in any way. You are not flawed or doomed never to be loved. That’s bunk, so let those thoughts go right now.
2. The guy you are into that doesn’t seem to like you back is not a bad or evil person just because he isn’t attracted to you.
3. He’s not trying to manipulate you or play games with you. If he doesn’t like you, he isn’t waiting for you to do one magic thing that will make him fall head over heels in love.
4. A few major choices in how you conduct your life will make you loved and desired by the right guy.
Here are a few things that are keeping you from finding love with a man that will love you back:
– You’re fantasizing about a relationship with him when he has made it clear he isn’t into you is hurting your chances of finding love with someone who will make this guy seem like yesterday’s wet newspaper.
– Having a fantasy about how you want things to “work out” with him can be the worst thing that can happen to your love life. You are essentially cutting yourself off from other possibilities and running after the Holy Grail in a place it doesn’t exist.
– It may feel fun at first when you’re building up the fantasy in your mind, but beware. When the fantasy collapses, you’re going to be devastated. But who is really to blame? Did he ask you to fantasize about him? He wasn’t ever intending to be the person in your fantasy world.
– Once you become attached to the fantasy and want it to come true, it can be very hard to let it go. It becomes a mental obsession that steals your energy, time, and life force so that you can’t concentrate on other things, including becoming more successful or attractive for yourself.
– Once you realize that you have built a false narrative, you then become afraid of the fantasy not coming true and your interactions (which used to be laid back and fun) become drenched in a fear of loss. This is a complete turn-off to anyone who might normally find you attractive.
How significant is it that you have built a fantasy around a man that isn’t attracted to you? Instead of taking things at face value and enjoying someone’s company, you get caught up in an emotional rollercoaster ride wondering if the fantasy will come true or not.
The normally carefree, fun mood you have is replaced by a tense, agenda-driven mood which is not fun for anyone to be around.
People love to be around someone who’s happy, relaxed and fun… but nobody wants to be around someone who is tense and desperate for us to make their dreams come true. It is more than any normal person can withstand. So, you’ve essentially made yourself highly undesirable to any man looking at having a loving relationship.
Here’s our advice.
When a man says he doesn’t want a relationship, believe him.
It doesn’t matter what his reason is. Don’t spend months, weeks, days, or even minutes trying to figure out why he doesn’t like you. He may not even know for sure why he doesn’t like you. Assume that he means what he says and that he will never change his mind.
If you proceed, understand that as far as he’s concerned, he told you he didn’t want a relationship. Even if you’ve been having sex with him for months or even years on end. Even if you see each other all the time and go on dates, it’s all fair play to him because he told you he wasn’t interested in you “in that way.”
Getting into a committed relationship isn’t something you just secretly slide into through the back door… if you need evidence for this, think of how many women you know who have been seeing a guy for a long time who they’re in a relationship-like dynamic with and yet he refuses to call her his girlfriend. You deserve better, but you need to behave in a certain way and make choices that allow you to have better.
This means that you should consider yourself 100% single until he eagerly, clearly and directly locks you down in a way you want (and you accept).
If you want to be in a committed, exclusive relationship, stop pretending that the guy you are into, but who doesn’t give you the time of day is ever going to change. You’re just lying to yourself, and more importantly you are preventing a real, passionate, fulfilling lover to be there for you in ways you may never have imagined. This is one of the most important choices you can ever make. Either he’s into you, and makes it abundantly clear, or he isn’t and you accept that and move on.
There is no such thing as a halfway commitment. If a man loves you, heaven and earth will be moved to get to you.
You should never act like a man’s girlfriend if he hasn’t made it clear he wants you to be, and calls you his girlfriend to your face, to his friends, to family, and to everyone you mutually know.
When women act like a man’s girlfriend because they think it will someone catapult them into this role, simply by pretending, then they are very misguided. If he doesn’t already see how great you are, acting like you are his when he isn’t feeling it won’t magically make him “see the light.”
When a guy realizes that a woman is single and totally on the dating market unless he commits to her, he’ll either commit or he’ll let her go. It’s that simple.
If he likes the woman enough to want to be in a relationship, he won’t want to lose her to another man and he’ll commit to her for fear that his best friend or some other guy will swoop in and steal her.
One way to know he doesn’t like you enough to commit is that he’s OK with the possibility that another guy could come along and snatch you up since, after all, you’re single.
If you look at this with the right perspective, it’s a win-win scenario since either he will commit to you or he simply won’t. Then some other guy (who is interested enough to want a relationship with you) snatches you up.
You don’t waste your time waiting around for a guy who was never going to come around anyway.
You aren’t mean or selfish if you date other guys until a man shouts from the mountaintops that he wants to be with you exclusively. Men already know that a woman they are attracted to is likely being pursued by other men. They fear this. This is what also propels them to act when they do like you.
There’s also nothing wrong with saying to a man that you will remain single and date other guys if he tells you he doesn’t want a relationship right now. He’ll already know that. But you can reaffirm it nicely.
If he ever changes his mind and wants a relationship with you, believe us he’ll make absolutely sure you know it!
The biggest factor of your relationship success is who you pick and how you pick them.
Great relationships don’t happen because you turn a “no” into a “yes,” so let that notion go.
Great relationships happen because you say “no” to the men who aren’t the ones who want to be with you, and to make room for the amazing man who does want to be with you. Saying “no” to the man who isn’t committing is like saying a big “yes” to the one who will.
This article shows you if a guy wants you you, now in any relationship I’ve found there are 2 pivotal moments that determine if your relationship ends in heartbreak or you get to live happily ever after so it’s vitally important that you take the next step and read this right now, because at some point the man you want is going to ask himself: Is this the woman I should commit to for the long term? That answer determines everything… Do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material (the type of woman he commits himself to) or if he sees you as just a fling? If not you need to read this next: The #1 Thing Men Desire In A Woman…
The second problem almost all women experience: At some point he starts to lose interest. He doesn’t call you back or he becomes emotionally closed off. He seems like he’s losing interest or pulling away – do you know what to do? If not you’re putting your relationship and the future of your love life in great danger, read this now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
Want to find out if he really likes you? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Like You” Quiz right now and find out once and for all if he likes you…