One of the most frustrating positions for a woman to be in is wondering whether a guy is into them or not.
It’s tough, because on the one hand you want to let him make the first move… but on the other hand if he’s not interested then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment…
And you could second guess yourself a million different ways. Maybe he’s too shy to make a move… but if that’s the case then why didn’t he text you back? Your girlfriend says he’s interested in you, but he didn’t respond to any of the hints you dropped.
It’s enough to wonder whether guys are too dense to pick up on even the strongest hint that he should make a move.
Whatever your situation, it’s nerve-wracking to wonder whether a guy is into you or not.
That’s why I came up with this list – it will give you the no nonsense signs that mean yes, he’s definitely into you.
And if he’s not showing you these signs, that means that unfortunately, he’s not shy… he’s just not that into you.
Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?
The Top 10 Signs He’s Not That Into You
1. He Never Calls/Texts/Messages You First
This is a big one.
When a guy is into you, he wants to talk to you. He loves to talk to you. He craves talking to you.
It just feels good to him.
If he’s obsessed he’ll be watching his Facebook messenger list like a hawk waiting for you to come online.
And he might restrain himself and not text or message first in order to not appear too eager, but…
Some of the time, he will contact you first.
If you’re always the one texting, calling, or messaging him first, and he never initiates a conversation – that’s a huge sign that he’s not that into you.
2. He Flirts With Everybody
Woe to the woman who falls for this type of guy.
It’s super easy to become interested in a guy who’s flirting with you. After all, just talking to him makes you feel good… and that makes you wonder if you make him feel good too.
The problem is, usually with a guy like that, if he’s interested in you he’s going to make a move.
A guy who flirts with everybody isn’t shy – he’s going to go after what he wants. So if you’re hoping that he’s interested in you because he’s flirting with you, but he’s not making a move and he flirts with lots of other people, it’s a sign he’s not into you.
3. He Doesn’t Get Jealous At All
A guy who’s into you is a guy who’s super sensitive to competition.
He might not go charging off threatening to fight any guy who looks at you (obviously not)…
But an interested guy is a guy who’s going to pay attention when you mention another guy.
If you were into a guy and he mentioned a woman he’s “friends” with – you better believe you’d be paying close attention.
So whether you’re casually dating him and want to know if he wants something more, or whether you have a crush on him and want to know if the feelings are mutual, watch how he reacts when you mention plans with a guy friend of yours.
If he instantly snaps his attention to you and starts asking questions – that means he’s jealous, and he’s probably at least a little bit into you.
But if he couldn’t care less, it’s a huge sign he’s not that into you.
4. He Never Tries To Spend Time With You
This is maybe the biggest sign.
If a guy is into you, it’s because it feels really good for him to be around you.
It’s because he gets an excited, happy, positive feeling in his stomach when he’s around you.
And if he’s getting that feeling, he’s going to listen to his gut. He’s going to want to be around you, and he’s going to make an effort to spend more time with you.
That means that he’s going to make excuses to see you. He’s going to make an effort to see you.
If he’s always too busy to see you, and never makes an effort to get together with you, that’s a strong sign he’s not into you.
Sure, he might be insanely busy in his life, and even though he’s into you and wants to see you he just has too much other stuff going on.
But that situation is pretty rare. If that’s what’s going on, he’s going to have some crazy stuff going on in his life (and it will be obvious why he can’t spend time with you.)
If he doesn’t have serious, compelling reasons why he keeps missing chances to spend time with you, the simplest answer is the right one – he’s just not that into you.
5. He Talks To You About Other Women In His Life
This is a huge “you’re a friend, not a potential girlfriend” sign.
A guy would never ask for advice on his love life with other women from a woman he’s seriously into.
That screams that you’re his friend who he’s looking for a woman’s perspective from, rather than someone he’s interested in dating.
Obviously, casual dating means that you’re allowed to see other people at the same time as him – just like he’s allowed to do the same.
But if he’s talking to you about them? Asking your advice?
It means he’s much more serious about them than he is about you, which is not a good sign for your future together.
6. He Never Really Listens To You
When you’re talking to him, does it usually seem like he’s a million miles away?
If it seems like he’s always distracted and thinking about something else when you’re with him, that tells you that you’re never his priority. That you come second, even when you’re in the same room as each other.
And a man who’s into you isn’t going to put you second when you’re spending time with each other.
He’s going to want to be present. To talk to you and really listen to what you have to say.
Because he’s interested in you! If he’s actually got feelings for you, they’re going to force him to pay attention to you.
If he’s got something huge going on in his life and he’s distracted for a couple days when you hang out, it’s probably no big deal.
But if he’s never really present when you’re spending time together, that tells you that you’re not #1 on his list, and you probably won’t be in the future either.
7. You Haven’t Met Any Of His Friends
If he’s actually into you, you’re going to meet his friends.
Why? Because he wants their opinions. He cares what his friends think (no matter what he says to the contrary).
He might not plan a whole evening out for you to meet his friends, but if he’s really into you, then it will just happen organically. You’ll be hanging out with him and you’ll meet his friends naturally.
If you never meet his friends… if it’s more of a “come over late” type of arrangement you have with him… if he avoids the possibility of meeting up with his friends while he’s with you…
That means he’s not that into you, and it’s probably not going to get serious.
8. You Only Hang Out When It Works For Him
It’s hard to get a guy to put in effort about anything unless he cares about it.
That’s why you’ll see a guy put in hours of work over picking the right guys in fantasy football – but ignore the dishes stacking up in his sink.
He doesn’t care about the dishes – he cares about beating his friends. (Obviously I’m not saying that all guys let the dishes stack up, I’m just using it as an example).
If he cares about you, he’s going to put in an effort to spend time with you. That means that he’ll come over to your place, even though it’d be easier for you to come over to his.
It means that he’ll make small compromises for you, rather than forcing you to compromise for him.
If he’s actually into you, he won’t mind it – just like he doesn’t mind putting hours into a game online.
But if he refuses to compromise, even on the small stuff, it’s a big sign he’s not that into you.
9. You Don’t Feel Like He’s That Into You
Ultimately, your gut is going to tell you the truth.
Your instincts are probably a lot better than you give them credit for, so try this quick test:
Clear your head and totally relax. Try to let go of anything you’re feeling.
Now, think about this question in your mind: “Do you really think he’s interested in you?”
Did your stomach sink? Or leap? Did you get a hopeful feeling? Or a feeling of dread?
Your gut is going to give you the right answer, you just have to be brave enough to listen to it.
If your gut is telling you, “I don’t really see a future with this guy, he’s probably not that into me, I should find a guy who’s interested in me the way I want him to be.” – then your gut is probably right.
On the other hand if deep inside you believe this guy is right for you even when he seems interested then you need to listen up because lots of women think a guy isn’t interested in them when he really is interested he’s just afraid of taking the next step so he instinctively pulls away (and he may not even notice it consciously) so if you want to spark his interest even if he is going cold, becoming distant or pulling away then you have to read this now: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
Want to find out if the man you want really likes you? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Like You?” Quiz right now and find out if he likes you…
Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?
Here Are The Biggest Signs He’s Not Into You And Not Interested
- He never calls/texts/messages you first
- He flirts with everybody
- He doesn’t get jealous at all
- He never tries to spend time with you
- He talks to you about other women in his life
- He never really listens to you
- You haven’t met any of his friends
- You only hang out when it works for him
- You don’t feel like he’s that into you