How To Tell If He's Testing You By Pulling Away From You

How To Tell If He’s Testing You By Pulling Away From You

You’re here because you’re wondering is he testing me by pulling away from me?

You’re trying to figure out what’s driving his behavior and making him pull away from you.

Is he genuinely losing interest in you? Is this all a ploy to get you to come chasing after him? Is something in his life bothering him and taking him away from the relationship? Or is it something else entirely?

How do you figure out his true feelings?

more: This Gives You The Exact Things To Do To Stop Him From Withdrawing

What, in short, are you supposed to do? And how do you get him to come back to you after he pulls away?

It’s a terrifying feeling having a man you care about withdraw and pull away from you – and I know how vulnerable and scared you might feel.

So don’t worry – I’ve got you covered.

I’m going to tell you exactly what to do when he’s pulling away so that you don’t get caught in a situation where you’re chasing after him, and you give yourself the best possible chance of having a strong, lasting relationship with him.

more: What To Do When A Guy Is Withdrawing From You

Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Is He Slipping Away

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Slipping Away” Quiz right now and find out if the man you want is really slipping away from you…

He’s Not Testing You By Pulling Away From You

If you’re wondering whether he’s testing you, the answer 99.9999999 times out of 100 is that he isn’t, and that him seeming distant is actually about something else altogether. Most of the time, when it feels like he’s pulling away, he’s really just dealing with something that doesn’t have anything to do with the relationship and devoting his energy there. Regardless of the reason, and even if he is testing you, the best thing to do is play it cool and let him come back to you of his own accord.

how to tell if hes testing you by pulling away

What To Do If You’re Wondering Why He’s Pulling Away From You

So you’re freaked out. This guy you really like is going cold and acting distant towards you. Why?

There are lots of reasons why a guy might start to pull away in a relationship – and a ton of them aren’t about you or the relationship at all.

more: When A Guy Withdraws…

Sure, he might be pulling away as a power game to try to get you to chase after him.

Or he could be pulling away because he’s worried about the relationship getting too serious and he needs to grab some space and gain perspective.

Or he could be super jam packed with problems at work and be devoting 100% of his time and energy towards solving them – making you feel like he’s pulling away from you when really he’s concentrating on something else.

Or it could be one of a million other scenarios where he feels the need to take some space from the relationship for a period of time.

Out of what I listed, the first is probably the least likely – unless you know for a fact that this is a pattern with him and that he habitually tests boundaries in relationships by pulling away.

If you don’t know his dating history, then it could be one of a million different reasons that he seems distant towards you. Most of those reasons might not even be about you.

But regardless of whether he’s getting distant because he needs space, or because he’s dealing with a private problem, or even because he’s testing you – there’s one solution:

Here’s Exactly What You Should Do Whenever He’s Pulling Away

more: 9 Signs He’s Really Not That Into You And Not Interested

Regardless of what’s causing him to pull away, there’s always one solution that you should respond with:

Just play it cool.

Don’t try to chase after him, don’t try to “save” the relationship, don’t try to interrogate him to figure out why he’s pulling away from you, and definitely don’t try to analyze everything he says and does for clues as to how he’s feeling (more on that later).

All of those responses are mistakes – and the problem is that they feel right in the moment. They seem instinctively like the right thing to do – when really all they do is push him further away from you.

more: The Number One Reason Men Suddenly Lose Interest

That’s where women get into trouble and wind up chasing after a guy begging him to be with her – not the position you’d want to find yourself in.

So the solution is simple: just play it cool.

If he’s pulling away from you or acting distant, it’s because he’s looking for space from the relationship. Why he needs the space isn’t as important as what you do when he’s looking for space.

If you chase after him, call him and text him, and let your anxiety force you to look for validation from him, it’s going to push him even further away. He won’t get the space he’s looking for – quite the opposite.

Instead, he’ll feel even more crowded by the relationship, which will make him grow even more distant, which blows up into a vicious cycle that can end the relationship prematurely.

more: Why Do Men Lie?

So instead, don’t try to chase after him. If he’s looking for space, let him have that space and let his desire to come back to you grow on its own.

You’re never going to be able to manipulate him into wanting to come back to you – that’s only going to make him feel more crowded and push him away further.

But if you let him have the space he’s looking for, it lets him know that you can give him what he needs – which makes him much more likely to come back to you.

There’s one other concept that I want to talk about here that’s super important:

Here’s The One Super Important Dating Rule To Follow

99% of the time I see women get completely screwed up in a relationship and wind up in a terrible spot, it’s because they neglected this rule.

more: Decoding Male Behavior A Guy’s Take On Neediness

If you follow this rule, you won’t wind up running around in circles driving yourself crazy trying to figure him out ever again.

Are you ready? Here’s the rule:

Don’t try to look for hints about how he “truly” feels in the things he says and does.

Meaning: don’t spend your time and your energy trying to figure out his true intentions or his true feelings from what he says to you or how often he texts you.

So many women fall into the trap of trying to figure out how a guy “really” feels about them by reading into his words and his actions to find “clues” and “hidden hints” about his true feelings.

This is a trap. It’s never going to help you. It’s never going to make your relationship better.

All it’s going to do is push him further away and drive you crazy trying to figure out why.

more: Why Men Seem To Pull Away

Looking For “Hints” From Him Is Going To Push Him Further Away

Great relationships work because it feels great for both people to be there.

Or, to put it in other words: your relationship is great if it feels great to be around each other.

When both partners are relaxed, comfortable, and in a good mood around each other – it feels great.

But if one or both partners are feeling anxious, or freaked out, or worried – it poisons the dynamic of a relationship and leads to both partners feeling like there’s something “off”.

That more than anything leads to both men and women growing distant from a relationship. It doesn’t feel as good to spend time with each other anymore, so one person seeks distance and pulls away to try to gain perspective.

more: Give A Man Space When He Pulls Away

When you look for “hints” in his behavior or try to analyze what he says to figure out his “true feelings” – it poisons the dynamic between you.

Instead of feeling relaxed and happy around you, he’s going to feel like you’re combing through everything he says. It’ll feel like he’s walking on eggshells around you, afraid to say the wrong thing.

That dynamic pushes him further away, because all of a sudden it doesn’t feel good to be around you anymore. And when he pulls away more, it makes you more anxious, which makes you look for clues even more intensely, and well… you get where I’m going with this.

more: 3 Reasons Your Guy Might Pull Away

That’s why the best way to respond when a partner is getting distant with you is just to play it cool and give him the space he’s looking for.

Don’t overanalyze. Don’t put him under a microscope. Don’t sabotage yourself by trying to read into what he does.

Just let him have the space he’s looking for. He’ll naturally feel better when he gets what he was looking for, and that good feeling will naturally draw him back to you.

Want to find out he’s slipping away from you Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Slipping Away” Quiz right now and find out if the man you want is really slipping away from you…

Take The Quiz: Is He Slipping Away

36 comments… add one
  • ariannah January 21, 2018, 12:23 pm

    dear ladies, recently a guy told me he needs space,i found out that all he had said had been a lie.his father whom he had always talked about and wanted to introduce me to and the same father whom he presumably always played soccer with wasn’t a CEO as he had said and additionally the poor guy had died 10years before so the guy was obviously playing soccer with a dead person… be careful ladies!

  • Vanessa December 17, 2017, 1:10 am

    What if your married one year and he acts Distant…you lean in for a kiss & he pats your Face??…..

  • Kat December 10, 2017, 1:11 pm

    No matter the reason – block him and go out with somebody else.

    • ariannah January 21, 2018, 12:19 pm

      true that

  • Susan November 26, 2017, 4:37 pm

    Really? Just let him jerk you around? ”Be there” for him no matter how he treats you? Have NO boundaries, self-respect? Ladies, this is not going to get you the relationship you want. If he takes you for granted, needs ‘ space’ all the time, then he doesn’t, repeat DOESN’T love you. Move on.

    • ariannah January 21, 2018, 12:20 pm

      these articles and the online dating crap are ruining our lives

  • analyn September 7, 2017, 5:34 pm

    i’ve been seriously thinking about this. i hope he’s not really testing me

  • liza September 6, 2017, 5:16 pm

    men do not usually do this to test you. they really go thru such a stage and you need to understand that.

  • chandra August 23, 2017, 6:53 pm

    do not overreact. talk things through and try to understand him before speculating.

  • karen August 20, 2017, 8:24 pm

    wow, this is really big! thanks for sharing this and for being honest.

  • brenna August 16, 2017, 4:18 pm

    it doesn’t necessarily means he’s testing you. most of the time men needs space due to personal issues he doesn’t want affecting you.

  • bernadeth August 15, 2017, 7:18 am

    thank you for sharing this. i can be paranoid at times.

  • ivanah August 7, 2017, 1:39 am

    a typical guy won’t waste time for dramas like this.

  • rianne August 2, 2017, 1:26 pm

    don’t panic, stay focused and communicate.

  • alice July 30, 2017, 11:24 pm

    this is such a nice article. i like it and i definitely learned something here.

  • grace July 23, 2017, 11:59 pm

    a real man won’t do this. if he says he needs space, he really mean it

  • chelsea July 18, 2017, 8:10 pm

    most of the time, men pull away because of fear that the relationship gets too serious. but not to worry, he’ll recover from this.

  • bianca July 16, 2017, 4:28 pm

    no, a real would not do this.

  • riley July 10, 2017, 7:25 pm

    he might not be testing you. men do sometimes need space, that’s just it.

  • vanessa July 9, 2017, 1:36 pm

    it would help to know his background especially when it comes to dating and relationships. this way, you would know if he has a background and habit of doing things such this.

  • angelica July 5, 2017, 6:42 pm

    i will follow your advice and hope for the best! thank you!!

  • sadie July 4, 2017, 4:38 pm

    i definitely hope he isn’t testing me.

  • sally June 29, 2017, 1:30 pm

    well i hope he really is NOT trying to test me.

  • keira June 28, 2017, 11:48 pm

    if he pulls away, play it cool and just let him be

  • krizia June 27, 2017, 10:30 am

    i can only hope i won’t experience this from my boyfriend.

  • thelma June 25, 2017, 3:33 pm

    do not be too hard on yourself, almost everyone goes through this.

  • eliza June 22, 2017, 3:56 pm

    men usually need to pull way but they almost always come back, don’t be paranoid.

  • eevie June 20, 2017, 3:29 pm

    he’s most likely not testing you..a guy would sometimes really need space

  • joan June 19, 2017, 11:25 am

    good to know, thanks for sharing!

  • korina June 15, 2017, 2:09 pm

    let him test you all he wants, prove him that pulling away is his worst move ever!

  • shannon June 14, 2017, 4:29 pm

    thanks for sharing this. i wouldn’t wanna be in this kind of situation, i’m glad i read this today. i would know what to do just in case.

  • sharmaine June 12, 2017, 11:48 pm

    oh wow, i wouldn’t like this

  • alyssa June 11, 2017, 11:50 pm

    this is a good read, thanks for sharing!

  • casey June 7, 2017, 11:12 pm

    this blows my mind in a way..but that you for sharing. it’s worth reading.

  • adrianna June 6, 2017, 8:53 pm

    why does he even have to pull away when he can just say if he’s dealing with something!?

  • toni June 5, 2017, 8:52 pm

    i would hate him if he does this to test me

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