OK, today, we’re going to talk about something that’s a bit uncomfortable.
We’re going to talk about cutting people out of your life.
And that’s scary! After all, you cared about this person!
Maybe you were super close friends for a while that told each other everything.
Maybe you used to bang and also had lots of feelings and junk for each other but then broke up and now you kind of still keep in touch and try to be friends.
Maybe they’re someone you stalk in the bushes outside their house and they don’t even know you’re best friends!
Whoever they are – there sometimes comes a point where your life would be better without them in it.
And yeah, that’s scary!
But hanging onto a relationship with someone just because you used to be really close isn’t a good enough reason. Neither is staying friends with someone just because it’s comfortable.
Take The Quiz: Should You Break up With Him?
And no, fear isn’t a good enough reason either. If you’re keeping someone in your life because you’re afraid of being alone, or because you’re worried they know your deep dark secrets and will hold them over your head, or because you think you’ll wind up regretting the decision – you’re fooling yourself. It’s time to let them go.
Because your life will be better when you’re not pretending anymore.
Because someone who isn’t contributing to your life is actually taking away from it.
Because sometimes, it’s just time to cut ties with someone.
Here are 8 good reasons why letting someone go is the right decision:
1. You’re Not Sure What You Mean To Them
If you’re spending your time with someone who doesn’t make you feel appreciated, who doesn’t seem happy and excited to be close to you, who doesn’t seem to like spending time with you… well then why are you spending time with them?
Friends should be encouraging! They should make you feel appreciated and they should want to spend time with you.
If they don’t, if they make you feel like hanging out is a favor they’re doing for you, or worse, even put you down and make you feel bad about yourself, they’re not your friend anymore, if they ever even were.
It’s time to cut the cord and move on.
2. You’re The Only One Putting In Effort
Friendship, like a relationship, is a two way street. Both people need to want to be there, both people need to put in the effort, and both people need to want to keep pushing things forward for it to work.
If you’re spending time with someone who doesn’t put in any effort, who makes everything about them, who makes you do things on their terms only… that doesn’t sound like a very good friendship. It sounds like you’re being used.
Find a person to spend time with that really, genuinely enjoys being with you – and puts in the same amount of effort that you do or more. You’re worth someone who cares enough to give a crap.
Related: Top 6 Relationship Red Flags
3. You Don’t Trust Them Anymore
You know what the best relationships, friendship or otherwise, are built on? It’s not laughter. It’s not good times. It’s not common interests.
It’s the ability to trust them with your secrets. It’s knowing that they have your back, no matter what. It’s knowing in your heart of hearts that they’re going to be loyal to you.
If you can’t honestly tell yourself that you trust them, why even waste time with them? It’s time for you to cut them out of your life.
Take this quiz and find out Is He Cheating?
4. Things Just Aren’t The Same As They Were
The one constant in this world is change.
Anything and everything is constantly changing, and that includes people. Two people that clicked so well years ago, a year ago, even 6 months ago could feel like complete strangers today.
And that’s because no matter what, everyone is constantly changing. Two best friends can grow apart totally naturally without even noticing it happening. Two lovers can turn into different people right before their eyes.
And sometimes, the person they become isn’t a person you want to be close to.
If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll realize that it’s OK that you both changed, and that you don’t really enjoy spending time with them anymore. And you’ll realize that it’s OK to stop spending time with them.
5. It Hurts To Be In A Friendship Or Relationship With Them
Friendships and relationships should be sources of joy, not pain. They should be something that makes your life better, happier, more enjoyable instead of something that brings you down.
So if you find yourself dreading the time you spend with them, if you feel like you always feel like crap after hanging out with them, if you get hurt and put down every time you spend time with them, well then cut them out.
Life’s too short to spend time with people who don’t respect you and make you feel crappy. If they’re going to put you down and make you unhappy, you don’t need them in your life.
Take this quiz and find out Is He Selfish?
6. You’re Not Getting What You Need From It
People are friends and more with each other because it feels good. Because other people can fill needs in your life that you didn’t even know existed.
But when a relationship stops being rewarding to you – when it stops giving you what you need and becomes more about what the other person needs, it might be time to pull the plug.
Take a moment and honestly think about it – if you never saw this person again, would you be crushed? Or could you live with it?
Then make your decision accordingly.
7. You Can’t Agree About Anything Anymore
Just as people change, so do their opinions. A libertarian can become a liberal. A devout Christian can become an atheist.
Someone who hates broccoli can turn into someone who loves broccoli.
Whatever it is, if you find that you can’t agree with them about anything anymore, it’s time to end things.
I’m not saying to surround yourself with people who think exactly like you, but if you can’t agree about ANYTHING, and constantly find yourself arguing, what’s the point of spending time with them?
8. They Don’t Give You Encouragement Or Believe In You
Friends and relationships are about mutual support. They’re about helping the other person achieve their goals and become the best version of themselves that they can be.
If they’re not doing that, and what’s more if they don’t even believe in you, why even be friends with them? What’s the point of being around someone who doesn’t believe in you, who doesn’t support you, who doesn’t want you to grow and achieve your goals?
Nothing, that’s the point. They’re only going to hold you back.
And that brings me to the conclusion. At the end of the day, we only have so much time on this earth, and so many people we can spend that time with.
Do you want to look back on your life and think “Well, I didn’t like a lot of the people I spent time with, but at least I never abandoned someone”?
Or do you want to look back and think, “I spent time with the people I truly cared about and who truly mattered to me.”
If you loved this article, then check out these other must-see related posts:
Want to find out for sure if you should break up with him? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Should You Break up With Him” Quiz right now and find out if you should really break up with him…
Take The Quiz: Should You Break up With Him?
The Biggest Reasons To Let Go Of Toxic People
- You’re not sure what you mean to them
- You’re the only one putting in effort
- You don’t trust them anymore
- Things just aren’t the same as they were
- It hurts to be in a friendship or relationship with them
- You’re not getting what you need from it
- You can’t agree about anything anymore
- They don’t give you encouragement or believe in you