Women are always asking me, “How can I figure out whether this guy is going to commit to me? What are some signs that he’ll never commit?”
It’s an understandable question – women who want commitment don’t want to waste their time dating a guy who’s never going to end up committing to her.
The issue for a lot of women is: how can you tell whether he’s ever going to commit to you?
So let’s get that answered right now. Here are the top 9 signs that a guy isn’t going to commit to you:
He never shares secrets or anything deep about himself with you
He won’t introduce you to his family
He tells you he doesn’t want a relationship
He doesn’t put any effort into dating you, you’re not sure how to answer the question, “is he interested in me?”
He only calls you late at night
He never gets jealous
He doesn’t make time for you in his life
He doesn’t include you in big decisions that he makes
He’s not over his ex
Now obviously – taken individually none of these signs mean he’s never going to commit to you. But if you take 3 or 4 of these signs together, it’s a pretty safe bet that he’s not going to commit.
Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Is He Going To Commit?
Looking For Signs
If you’re looking for signs that he’s not going to commit to you – chances are you have a bad feeling about him ever committing. You’re probably feeling anxious about it, and nervous about the future, and want to know where things are headed. You might even be wondering if he’s losing interest, pullling away, or even “is he cheating on me?”
Typically, women who are looking for signs that he’s not going to commit, or signs he’s truly in love are with someone who’s wishy washy about the future, and they can’t figure out where he stands.
Well, if you’re confused about where he stands, there’s one golden rule to apply: if he says he doesn’t want a relationship – believe him.
There are a million different ways to say he doesn’t want a relationship, and the nicer he tries to be about it the more “confusing” his answer will sound to you.
Here’s what it boils down to – it doesn’t matter what “excuse” he gives you about not wanting a relationship – the important part of the sentence is “I don’t want a relationship.”
So if he says he’s not over his ex, or he’s not in a good place, or he’s too busy with work – the excuses don’t matter. Only the fact that he doesn’t want a relationship matters.
So don’t get caught up in trying to figure out his “excuse”, because chances are he came up with it to let you down gently. The bottom line is that he doesn’t want a relationship – and trying to change his mind or wait for his “excuse” to not matter anymore is a losing strategy.
What Makes A Guy Commit?
When a guy commits to a relationship – it comes down to two key ingredients.
First, the vibe of the relationship has to be good, and it has to feel really good for him to be in the relationship.
This is pretty simple. If it feels really good for him to be in the relationship, he’s going to want more of that really good feeling – so he’ll move closer to you and be more attached to the relationship.
But that alone isn’t enough to make him commit.
The second key ingredient is that you have to be single and 100% on the market until he clearly, unambiguously locks you down and commits to you.
This is a non-negotiable part. You are exactly as committed to him as he is to you. If he’s not committed to you and exclusive to you, then you’re not committed or exclusive to him.
That means keeping your options open – and staying single and on the market until he clearly and unambiguously locks you down in the relationship you want.
When you make that clear, one of two things will happen:
Either he won’t be on board and he won’t commit to you…
Or he will step up and give you the relationship you want so that he doesn’t lose you to a guy who will.
Either way, you win. If he gives you the commitment you’ve been looking for, then you get what you wanted. And if he doesn’t commit to you, that means he was never going to commit to you in the first place.
That way, you don’t waste your time with the wrong guy who will never be the right guy for you – and you get the opportunity to find the man who will give you the relationship you want.
That’s How You Get Honest, Loving, Excited Commitment
And before we finish I want to talk about an attitude I’ve seen from women that all but guarantees they will find only heartbreak in their love lives.
I’m talking about the attitude that a man ‘owes’ a woman commitment, or that if you’ve been together for [x] amount of time then the man should commit to you.
To speak plainly, that’s not how it works.
Do you really want a guy to commit to you out of a sense of obligation, rather than a sense of desire and love?
Obviously not – you want him to naturally want to commit to you. And the way to do that is by making the relationship as good as possible and staying on the market until he exclusively locks you down.
Something I hear all the time is women who are angry at guys for ‘taking advantage’ of them and then not committing.
It doesn’t make him a bad guy if he doesn’t want to commit – and he’s not taking advantage of you by spending time with you when you’re willingly spending time with him.
If you’re expressly spending time with him in order to make him ‘owe’ you commitment later – that’s a poisonous mindset that will destroy your chances at love (not to mention drive off every guy you meet – who you’ll later be furious with for ‘taking advantage’ of you).
You are in control of how you spend your time – just like you’re in control of who you spend your time with. If you make it clear that you’re looking for a relationship, and he makes it clear that he’s not – you are fully in control of the decision to spend time with him.
Commitment is amazing when it’s between two people who both want to be there – who make each other’s lives better and share their happiness together.
If you both commit out of a genuine desire to commit – not guilt, not resentment, and not obligation – that’s how you get true, devoted, lasting commitment that doesn’t fade.
One of the most interesting things I’ve discovered is that when a man see’s you as his soulmate then he eagerly wants to commit forever. When he doesn’t, his biology causes him to lose interest, become distant and pull away. Which is why it’s extremely important that if you feel this man is the one for you that you read this next article if you want to stop him from losing interest and pulling away while you still can right now: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
Want to find out if he’s going to commit? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Going To Commit” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really going to commit to you…