The 9 Biggest Reasons Men Fall Out of Love

The 9 Biggest Reasons Men Fall Out of Love

You’re here because you want to know the biggest reasons men fall out of love.

Maybe you were blindsided by a breakup – the man you thought would love you forever decided he didn’t want to be with you anymore.

Maybe you feel like your relationship is losing its spark – you don’t know why or how but things feel distant between you and the man you thought would love you forever.

Maybe the man you thought you were in love with just told you that he doesn’t feel that way about you anymore.

more: Why Do Men Pull Away?

Whatever the reason, you have to know why. Why did he break up with you? Why does it feel like he doesn’t love you anymore? What reason is there for a man to fall out of love?

I’m here to answer your questions. Here are the main reasons a man might fall out of love with someone.

The Top Reasons A Man Might Fall Out Of Love

1. He Feels Like He Can’t Be Himself Around His Partner

Great relationships are all about compatibility.

For a relationship to truly be great (and have the dna to last), both partners have to be able to feel like they can be their most authentic, genuine selves around each other.

more: Why Men Pull Away When They’re Falling In Love

More than that, both partners have to like each other when they’re being genuine. The man has to like the woman when she’s being her true self, and vice versa.

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…

If he feels like every time he’s genuine around his partner that she reacts with judgment, or with distaste – it signals to him very strongly that he’s with the wrong woman.

That’s because mutual compatibility is the most important thing in a good relationship. Without it, one or both people feels like they have to walk on eggshells all the time – like they have to act like someone they’re not.

more: The Top 3 Reasons Men Pull Away

Eventually, that dynamic will sour a relationship and drive both parties apart. If he feels like can’t be himself around her, he’ll stop wanting to be around her, and eventually decide that he doesn’t love her anymore.

2. The Interactions In The Relationship Are More Negative Than Positive

This is something that can build up over time subconsciously, and eventually destroy a relationship from within.

A relationship is great when it feels great to be with the other person. When it starts to feel more negative than positive, a relationship can quickly break down.

That negativity can take the form of “nagging” (in either direction), or just fights that increase in frequency and in anger.

Whatever the reason, if the scale tips towards more negative interactions than positive ones, it can make even the most lovestruck man fall out of love and decide to leave a relationship.

3.The Emotional Intimacy Of The Relationship Gets Lost

This is very similar to the reason above, but it’s not strictly about negativity.

Rather, it’s about two people integrating their lives to the point where they’re running their relationship almost like a business.

more: What To Do When A Guy Withdraws

Questions about whether chores or mutual errands were taken care of dominate, rather than emotional or physical connection.

If you find that your interactions with him are more businesslike than intimate, more centered around accomplishing unromantic tasks rather than enjoying being with each other – it’s a big sign that the emotional intimacy of your relationship is fading.

Many people see this as the “spark” leaving their relationship or the initial “heat” of the relationship dying down… but it’s important to remember to make room for the emotional intimacy that is at the heart of all successful relationships.

more: Why Didn’t He Text Back?

Otherwise, he might forget why you fell in love in the first place – and fall out of love.

4. The Sex Has Slowed Down Or Stopped

Relationships are all about meeting each other halfway and making sure each other’s needs are being met.

After all, in a relationship you’re supposed to be able to depend on the other person for support, intimacy, and comfort – just like they depend on you.

So although a slowed down love life in a relationship is completely normal and happens to nearly every one – it’s important to keep in touch with your partner’s needs and feelings to make sure they’re still getting what they need from the relationship.

more: Why Did He Withdraw After Sex?

Guys who aren’t getting their needs for intimacy met will have a constant reminder in their heads that they’re unsatisfied. If they feel like that isn’t ever going to change it could make them more and more likely to check out of the relationship and fall out of love.

5. He’s Mistaken Love For Infatuation

One of the most painful reasons why a guy might “fall out of love” is that he realizes he wasn’t really in love with you in the first place.

This is much more likely to be the case in a newer relationship, especially if you’ve been dating under a year.

more: Exactly What To Do When Guys Pull Away

The passion, intimacy, and fire at the start of a relationship is enough to overwhelm both men and women and make them think that they have deeper feelings than they really do.

Then, as the initial heat of the relationship fades, both partners have to reconcile their expressed feelings about the relationship with their true feelings now that the initial rush has wound down.

Sometimes, a guy will realize that he wasn’t ever really in love – he just thought he was because of the intensity of the initial connection.

more: Why He Withdrew After Making Love

6. He Realized You Have Incompatible Life Goals

Maybe he wants kids and you don’t. Maybe you want to live in the country while he wants to live in the city. Maybe he wants a house and a backyard while you’re happy renting.

Whatever the incompatibility – he’s having to face it full on and realizing that things aren’t going to change, and that you’re not going to be able to compromise.

more: The Exact Signs A Guy Is Pulling Away

When a person comes up against something like that in a relationship, it’s enough to make them reconsider the entire relationship from the ground up. He might ask himself, “do I love this person enough to give up on something that’s really important to me?”

If the answer is no – it’s enough to make him fall out of love.

7. He Doesn’t Feel Like You’re On His Team

Any great relationship is also a partnership. Both people are pulling for each other to do well.

more: The Real Reasons Why Men Disappear

That’s why it’s so important to have compatible life goals, and have compatible ideas about what direction you’re moving with your lives.

If one partner has a goal or dream that the other partner doesn’t think is realistic, or thinks they can’t succeed at, or otherwise thinks isn’t a good idea – it’s going to undermine the relationship from within.

When someone has a goal or a dream it’s central to their identity. Their life becomes about whether something is moving them towards their dream or away from it.

If he feels like you don’t support him moving towards his goals, he will feel like you’re moving him away from them – which could make him fall out of love with you.

more: Why We Fall Out Of Love

8. He Doesn’t Feel Like You Admire Him Anymore

It’s so important to feel like an attractive, desirable person in a relationship.

Guys especially want to feel like they’re winning at all aspects of their lives. Guys are happiest when they feel that they’re succeeding at work, at play, in relationships, anything.

So if he’s with someone and it doesn’t feel like she admires him, or even likes him all that much, it hurts him down to his core.

It makes him wonder why she’s even with him if it doesn’t seem like she likes him all that much – does she pity him? Can she not find anyone better? Should they even stay together?

more: Major Reasons Men Fall Out Of Love

A guy who feels like his partner doesn’t like him will feel less and less attracted to her until the love is completely gone from their relationship.

9. One Or Both Of You Stopped Putting In Effort

This is something else that’s normal as a relationship goes along – both partners will “relax” a little bit. Totally normal and unremarkable – and not relationship breaking.

What is relationship breaking is when one partner lets themselves go in a way where they completely stop putting in effort. The things they did to be their best selves no longer apply.

more: The Biggest Reason Why People Fall Out Of Love

This is something that might make a guy sit up and think, “This isn’t the person I fell in love with anymore.”

And if he feels like there’s no chance of it changing and turning around, it could make him eventually fall out of love.

Want to find out if he’s really losing interest? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

In summary…

The Top Reasons Men Fall Out Of Love

  1. He feels like he can’t be himself around his partner.
  2. The interactions in the relationship are more negative than positive.
  3. The emotional intimacy of the relationship gets lost.
  4. The sex has slowed down or stopped.
  5. He’s mistaken love for infatuation.
  6. He realized you have incompatible life goals.
  7. He doesn’t feel like you’re on his team.
  8. He doesn’t feel like you admire him anymore.
  9. One or both of you stopped putting in effort.

reasons men fall out of love

33 comments… add one
  • Brett Daigle May 22, 2021, 9:37 pm

    This has happened to me. After 20 years.
    I am a male. 45 years old.
    Very sad to be so full of life but yet fell so dead.

  • claire February 2, 2021, 6:00 am

    The interactions in the relationship are more negative than positive.
    The emotional intimacy of the relationship gets lost.
    The sex has slowed down or stopped.
    He’s mistaken love for infatuation….

    i am deeply sad and heartbroken because my husband makes me feel this way and I can tell he doesn’t really love me and I think he just marry me because he was not happy with his life before maybe he was just looking for a companionship! He is not in to me, he is not attracted to me, he doesn’t hold me nor kiss me anymore, he’s always moody and a grumpy husband, he is not happy, he is impossible, very hard to please! and he always makes me feels like whenever we walk into the public nor eat somewhere else he is embarrassed being with me..i don’t know what he what he wants besides I am a good wife and a God fearing person. I think he is selfish!!

  • talbot meriwether September 2, 2020, 12:21 am

    rapid weight gain. the body is not an apology, and everyone will change over time. But sometimes a guy goes after a girl he likes, she likes him back, it works out, and 6 months later (or 2!) she just doesn’t look at all like the girl he met. That’s much too fast. No one needs perfection and no one gets it, but seriously this is a problem can totally derail attraction. Then sex stops. then you’ve got a car with no wheels.

  • gabbie June 29, 2017, 3:27 pm

    every man needs admiration and affirmation from time to time. this is what boosts their confidence and sense of security. so never neglect this aspect in your relationship. once they feel unappreciated and unworthy, they’ll lose it.

  • geneva June 28, 2017, 5:17 pm

    being in a relationship should feel like you’re a team and so if it feels like you don’t, this will lead to destruction

  • severina June 27, 2017, 3:35 pm

    if you’re worried he’s falling out of love, also try to assess yourself and how you connect with him.

  • ellen June 26, 2017, 3:47 am

    sex is very important in the relationship and this is one of the things that makes is exciting and fun.

  • janice June 19, 2017, 11:57 pm

    if he feels like he can’t be himself around you because of your expectations, this will ruin everything

  • june June 14, 2017, 7:37 pm

    don’t expect him to stay if he can’t be himself around you. choose to be natural and genuine to have a happier relationship.

  • mary June 12, 2017, 11:38 am

    emotional intimacy is very important in a relationship. make sure to build this up and nurture it.

  • karen June 9, 2017, 4:12 am

    sex should never slow down, it should improve instead

  • ariel June 6, 2017, 11:57 pm

    both of you should work as a team. if one feels you’re not in his team, he may be pushed to leave.

  • tamika June 5, 2017, 11:57 pm

    make sure to be aware of these and do the opposite instead.

  • kaylee June 4, 2017, 11:58 pm

    emotional intimacy is as important as physical

  • mercedes June 1, 2017, 6:40 pm

    sad but true and this happens all the time.

  • leonor June 1, 2017, 12:35 am

    ouch! i never want this to happen to us

  • mikaela May 30, 2017, 9:27 pm

    it’s better to always assess you relationship evry now and then so you’re sure you still have the same goals and heading to the same direction.

  • marisa May 29, 2017, 8:01 pm

    sex is an important part of any relationship so it cannot slow down, it should improve more and more.

  • dinah May 28, 2017, 11:33 pm

    make your relationship as positive as you can.

  • cecil May 25, 2017, 5:15 pm

    this is s very important post that women need to read and practice too

  • lilly May 24, 2017, 11:45 pm

    admit it or not, sex is a big part of a relationship. make it good and exciting. even women do not like boring.

  • steffi May 22, 2017, 6:31 pm

    these are all true. one of the most important things in a relationship is teamwork. when one doesn’t feel or see the support of the other, the team falls apart.

  • jasherina May 21, 2017, 6:13 pm

    thank you for sharing this. i realize now, this is what i need to know about men. i always blame myself for not lasting all of my previous relationships. now i know bette.

  • fatima May 18, 2017, 2:09 pm

    sex i a great part of any relationship. don’t ever let it be boring..

  • kaye May 16, 2017, 9:49 pm

    it’s sad and it can happen to anyone. it’s good that there’s a guideline like this

  • ciara May 15, 2017, 10:04 am

    emotional intimacy is very important. if he doesn’t get this in the relationship, he won’t last

  • kelly May 11, 2017, 4:54 pm

    incompatible life goals are what made us break up later in the relationship. he felt like he wasn’t doing enough too. :'(

  • winona May 10, 2017, 6:55 pm

    if the relationship is turning sour and everything just seems to be negative, this will make your man fall out of love and pull away

  • marge May 9, 2017, 5:02 pm

    sex is very vital in a relationship, make sure you’re both satisfied and having fun too

  • cassy May 8, 2017, 3:02 pm

    men need to be reassured also from time to time. if you do not show appreciation and admiraton for what he’s doing for you, he’d fall out of love eventually.

  • joy May 3, 2017, 5:19 pm

    when you don’t have the same goals or direction for your future, your relationship isn’t really going to succeed

  • kara May 2, 2017, 11:37 am

    this is too sad to even think about. i wish it doesn’t happen to me.

  • alison April 30, 2017, 11:58 pm

    love this site! great & very helpful articles! :) keep it up guys!

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