Exactly How To Get Your Ex Back In 5 Steps Guaranteed

Exactly How To Get Your Ex Back In 5 Steps Guaranteed

Want to know the strangest thing about getting your ex back?

Actually getting him back isn’t that hard. With a couple tricks, it’s actually really easy.

The tricky part is actually keeping him once he’s back.

Lots of women get their exes back every day. Most of them lose him again.

Why?

Because the same problems that destroyed their relationship before are still there, unaddressed.

And unless you know how to find and solve those problems that are rooted in the dynamic of your relationship, they’ll stick around, waiting to ruin your chances with him again.

To get your ex back and keep him for good – that takes a little bit more.

(But not a lot more – don’t worry.)

In this article, I’m going to give you a 5 step plan that will magnetically draw your ex back to you – and keep him there once he’s back.

Getting your ex back is only hard when you make mistakes. Unfortunately, it’s really easy to make mistakes when you’re struggling with the pain of a breakup, feeling lost, confused, and miserable.

Getting your ex back is only hard when you make mistakes.

But when you have a 5 step plan – you won’t feel confused. You’ll know exactly where you’re going, and exactly how to get there, and exactly how to get over the breakup.

You’ll get to see the light at the end of the tunnel – and you’ll have a straight line that will get you there in the shortest time possible.

Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can get your ex back or if he’s gone for good…

This article is your plan. Follow the steps I give you, and you will irresistibly draw your ex back to you.

It’s not rocket science. It’s not even complicated.

Here’s the truth – you’ve done a lot of the hard work already. At its core, getting your ex back is about letting him remember how much he misses you, and how good your relationship was.

And that’s exactly what step 1 is all about.

Step 1: Cut Off Contact With Him

If you want to get him back, and keep him… he has to realize how much he misses you.

And for that to happen, there can’t be any contact between you.

So here’s the rule: Cut off contact with him for at least 4 weeks.

What does that mean?

It means:

  • No Calling Him
  • No Texting Him
  • No Contacting Him Online (Facebook Messages, Email, Gchat, Twitter, im)
  • No Spending Time With Friends In Common To Run Into Him
  • No Running Into Him “By Accident” (Exactly what you think it means)

If you have any questions, check the faq at the end of this section.

Why are you cutting off contact with him? For a couple of reasons:

First, it’s to get control of yourself and get some perspective on the relationship.

After a breakup, everybody gets pretty messed up – and trying to get him back while you’re in that state is only going to make things worse.

If you want to get him back, and keep him… he has to realize how much he misses you.

That’s why you need these 4 weeks to calm down, put the pieces back together, and take a real look at what your relationship was. Getting perspective means you can see clearly whether you were happy, whether you were right for each other, or whether you even want to have the relationship back.

Plus, it gives you the time to get past the initial unbearable phase of missing him and into a more even-tempered, secure mentality. Instead of trying to figure out signs your ex still loves you, you’ll be working on yourself and getting yourself into a better mindset. It gives you the space to say, “I don’t need him to be happy – I can be happy all on my own”.

Second, it’s to give him space to miss you and realize (all on his own) that he wants to have you back.

If you want him to notice how much he misses you, he has to have the space to notice that you’re gone.

He won’t notice the hole that you left in his life unless you let him. So if you’re still in contact with him, he won’t get lonely. If you’re still having sex with him, he won’t miss the sex and companionship. If you’re still emotionally engaging with him, he won’t miss the love and satisfaction of being with you.

The saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is true – and this is the time for you to put it to work. When you cut off contact with him he will remember all the good times you had together and the memories of the bad times will fade.

Remember, you don’t have to remind him how much he liked being in a relationship with you – he’ll notice all on his own.

If you woke up without an arm, you’d notice pretty quickly that you were missing something that was vital to you. You wouldn’t need the arm to tap you on the shoulder to remind you it was gone.

You would immediately notice the ways that not having it makes your life worse, so let him notice all the ways that missing you makes his life worse.

Here is everything you need to know about the no contact rule.

But What If… (No Contact faq)

What if he contacts me? Is that breaking No Contact?

If he contacts you (like he calls you, or texts you, or sends you some other message), it’s not breaking no contact. But if you respond to him reaching out to you, that does count as breaking the rule. Responding is the same as reaching out to him on your own.

If it’s a true emergency, you can respond – but keep the conversation centered around the emergency and nothing else. No personal questions, no relationship questions, nothing about either of your lives. Stay focused on only the emergency that he contacted you about.

What Should I Do If I Broke No Contact Already?

The only way to truly gain the benefits of the no contact rule is to follow it all the way through. That means that if you broke the no contact rule, the only thing to be done is to start the no contact period over again.

The only thing that will get him missing you again is time, and the only way to get him thinking about how good the relationship was and forgetting about the pain is uninterrupted time without contact.

Plus, it’s about going cold turkey and proving to yourself that you can live your life without him in it. If you can live without him for 4 weeks, you’ve proven it to yourself.

What If We Bump Into Each Other?

First of all, don’t bump into him “on purpose”. You know what that means.

Second of all, if you truly accidentally bump into him, then here’s exactly what to do. Be upbeat, positive, and in a good mood while you’re talking to him. Let him lead the conversation and pick the subjects, and whatever you do don’t bring up relationships or your relationship with him.

Shoot for about 10 minutes and then end the conversation with him. The goal is to be upbeat, positive, and give the impression that you’re fine, everything in your life is good, and you’re feeling happy. Showing bitterness or resentment is only going to drive him further away from you.

What If He Finds Someone New During No Contact?

The short answer is – he’s not going to.

When a guy gets out of a serious relationship, he’s not going to fall in love and find someone new right away. Most guys don’t even want to get in a relationship right after getting out of a serious one. When they do, it’s almost always a “rebound” relationship designed to distract him from the pain of losing you – and it never works.

If you’re really worried that your ex is going to get into a new relationship, or you know he’s in one and you want to find out whether it’s real or not, this article will give you the signs that his new relationship is a rebound. That way, you can get a definitive answer to the question, “Is he in a rebound relationship?” and move on with putting the no contact rule to work for you.

This is about trusting that giving him time is going to make him miss you, and getting into a better mindset so you are as attractive to him as possible. The alternative is panicking, stalking him, texting him constantly, and begging him to take you back – which never works. Trust that this is the only way to get him back (and keep him for good).

Does It Really Have To Be 4 Weeks?

Yes. Remember, he needs space to remember how much he misses you, and shorter than 4 weeks just isn’t going to cut it.

Also, you need time to recover from the breakup and come out stronger, happier, and more positive. That’s just not going to happen in under 4 weeks, and it’s going to work against you if you try to do it in a shorter period of time.

Isn’t this rude, or even cruel to him? It seems so over the top.

This isn’t about “punishing” him, or being rude, or being intentionally cruel to him. It’s about giving both of you some much needed space to get perspective on the relationship and really identify the issues that drove you two apart.

Remember, the no contact rule isn’t about him, it’s about you. You’re not cutting off contact to try to spite him, you’re giving yourself time and space to heal from the breakup – just like you’re giving him time and space to start missing you again.

Finally, here’s the biggest reason for the no contact rule:

It stops you from making the fatal breakup mistakes that will truly drive him away for good – that we’re going to talk about in the next section.

Step 2: The Fatal Mistakes (And Ignoring Your Instincts)

This section will cover all the fatal mistakes that women make after breakups. These mistakes will drive your ex away from you and all but ruin your chances of ever getting back together with him.

The worst part about these mistakes is that they’re so natural. These mistakes happen when you follow your instincts after a breakup.

These mistakes happen when you follow your instincts after a breakup.

At first glance, that doesn’t seem fair… and it’s not. It’s not fair that your instincts will urge you to do things that will ruin your chances of getting back together with your ex.

That’s why the no contact rule is so important – to take away the chances of you making any of these fatal mistakes.

Mistake #1: Letting Him Do Whatever He Wants And Just Taking It

After a breakup, the temptation is to just give your ex whatever he wants in the hopes that it will bring him back to you.

This is one of the worst things you can do – because all that does is signal to him that he’s in control and that you’re not going anywhere – which means there’s no reason for him to get back together with you.

If he’s getting everything he wants from you without doing any work or having to get back together with you, what incentive does he have to rekindle the relationship?

None.

In addition, giving in to him and giving him everything he wants shows him desperation. It makes your vibe desperate, which turns him off consciously and unconsciously and ruins your chances with him.

In fact, a lot of relationships end with this fatal mistake. Here’s how it normally happens:

The beginning, or “honeymoon phase” of a relationship is an exciting, magical time. You two were doing fun things together. You were enjoying getting to know each other and exploring with each other. You were equal with each other.

Then, as the relationship goes on, something shifts…

Instead of feeling equal, it feels like you’re losing him. Like you have to chase after him to get his attention.

Like you have to bother him to get affection from him.

It feels like slowly but surely, you’re losing him… and you don’t know how to stop it.

You start to get worried that he’s pulling away or withdrawing, and so you put up with his bad behavior in an attempt to make him want to stay.

Unfortunately, all that does is make him lose respect for you and see you as desperate, which undermines the relationship even more and pushes him away even further.

MORE: These Signs Mean You Can Get Your Ex Back

It inevitably becomes a downward spiral that continues until the relationship falls apart.

The only way to have a good relationship is if you demand a good relationship from him. If you don’t, and give him everything he wants to make him want to stay with you, you’re sabotaging the relationship and destroying your chances with him.

Mistake #2: Giving Him Tons Of Affection

This ties back into the first mistake – except instead of convincing him to get back together with you by putting up with his bad behavior, you’re trying to convince him to get back together by showering him with affection.

The key mistake here is trying to convince him to get back together with you. That makes you look needy and desperate – which will turn him off completely.

When you shower him with attention and affection, it shows him that you’re desperate. He knows you love him – he just broke up with you. When you remind him how much you love him, what actually happens is that he thinks you’re trying to manipulate him into getting back together with him, and it turns him off.

Remember, a conclusion he comes to on his own is always going to be way more powerful than a conclusion you manipulate him into making.

Mistake #3: Trying To Use Pity To Get Him Back

Pity isn’t attractive. Neither is begging.

When you first got together with him, you didn’t beg him to be with you. You didn’t rely on his pity for him to go on a date with you. Those things won’t help you now.

All begging or using pity does is convince him that he made the right move. It sabotages your vibe and makes you seem needy and desperate, which forces him to recoil from you and push you away from his life.

Mistake #4: Getting Super Jealous If He Starts Dating Someone New

Obviously, this can feel like a super upsetting thing. After all, he’s dating someone new, that means your chances are ruined, right?

Actually, not nearly as much as you’d think. Like we talked about before, when a guy starts dating after a serious relationship, it’s almost always a rebound relationship – not a real one.

And rebound relationships are totally ineffective ways of moving on. All it will do is remind him that he cares about you more, and that he wants you back in his life.

Acting jealous won’t make him want to come back to you – it will do the opposite. It will push him even further towards the other girl, and once again make you come off as needy and desperate.

Mistake #5: Calling And Texting Him All The Time

This is covered by the no contact rule, and it’s one of the biggest reasons the no contact rule exists.

Your instincts are going to be screaming at you to call him and text him all the time. You miss him, you want to talk to him, you want him to acknowledge you, you want contact with him!

Unfortunately, your instincts are working against you. Contact with him will only push him further away and tell him he was right to break up with you.

So as hard as it is, it’s best to follow the no contact rule. Without it, it’s much more likely that you make this fatal mistake.

Mistake #6: Acting Cold, Aloof, Nasty, Or Desperate Towards Him

Just like your instincts are telling you to call and text him, they’ll also be telling you to be nasty to him. After all, he broke your heart! It’s only natural that you’ll want to hurt him back.

This will obviously work against you – by driving him further away and reinforcing in his mind that he doesn’t want you in his life. Even if it feels good in the short run as a cathartic release of pain and frustration, in the long run it will surely drive him away from you forever.

Remember – causing him pain won’t make him want to get back together with you. It will just mess you up and push him away.

Mistake #7: Trying To Make Him Jealous By Talking About Other Guys

This is another reason for the no contact rule – to prevent you from making this fatal mistake.

MORE: Does Your Ex Want You Back? These Key Signs Mean That He Does…

If you’re trying to make him jealous by flaunting the fact that you’re seeing other guys in his face, all it will do is make you look desperate.

He’ll be able to see right through it (after all, you’re seeing other guys to make him jealous, so he’s still in control), and it will feel like you’re trying to manipulate him. That will turn him off and drive him away from you faster than anything else – so definitely avoid this mistake.

Mistake #8: Talking To Him About The Relationship And Asking Him About His Love Life

Like we talked about before, letting him come to his own conclusions is much stronger and more powerful than trying to lead him there yourself.

It’s so much stronger when we figure out something on our own than when someone else tells us.

It’s like when you realize something on your own vs when a friend tells you something. It’s more powerful when it’s self generated.

It’s more powerful when you realize something on your own.

So let him come to his own conclusions about the relationship. Don’t ask him how his love life is going now, let him realize that it’s not as good as when you were dating.

Those are the top fatal mistakes that will destroy your chances at getting him back.

Now it’s time to move on to step 3 – what you should be doing during the no contact period.

Step 3: Get Stronger While He Gets Weaker

So you might be wondering: what am I supposed to be doing during the no contact period?

There’s a very simple answer to that: you’re going to be getting stronger while he gets weaker.

While he notices your absence from his life more and more, you’re going to be improving yourself, feeling better, stronger, and more independent, and becoming physically and emotionally healthier.

That means that as you grow as a person, become more comfortable, confident, and happy, and gain perspective on the relationship, he’ll be sliding backwards into thinking about you, missing you, and ultimately wanting you back.

Think about it this way: these 4 weeks of no contact are your detox period. You’re detoxifying yourself from the relationship, and getting past all the pain and heartbreak of the breakup.

If you never detox from the relationship, then that same negativity, desperation, and pain will prevent you from ever getting him back. After all, you can’t get your ex boyfriend back if your mind is working against you.

What does it mean for your mind to be working against you?

It means that your negative emotions are in control of you. The pain of heartbreak is in control of your mind (and driving you towards all sorts of bad instincts, described in Step 2), and if you don’t detox and get rid of that pain it will push him away from you for good.

These 4 weeks of no contact are your detox period.

Think about it this way: negative emotions and feelings are working against you, and will wind up pushing him away, while positive emotions and feelings will work for you, and magnetically draw him back to you.

You need a foundation of positive emotions in order to get him back – and to do that you have to let go of your negative emotions.

The best, most effective way to let go of negative emotions is to point blank accept the fact that the relationship is over. It’s not something to pine over, something to hope for, something to obsess over – it’s gone.

When you can let go of your relationship and accept the fact that at the moment you’re completely single, it will get rid of the root of any insecurity and empower you to bring positivity back into your life.

The best first step to take towards detox is this: get rid of all reminders of your relationship and your ex boyfriend.

You don’t have to throw them away – but definitely put them away in a place you don’t have easy access to, and whatever you do don’t revisit them.

So write down his phone number and address on a piece of paper and keep it somewhere out of the way, then delete them out of your phone. Get rid of all the pictures on your computer and your phone that remind you of him. Delete his screen names from your lists and get rid of his emails and texts.

Don’t delete him off Facebook – just ‘unfollow’ him so it doesn’t look like you unfriended him.

Take any gifts and physical reminders that you have of him and put them away and out of sight. Remember, your goal is to have nothing that reminds you of him in your day to day life.

The second step towards detox is to erase his power over you.

The more you think about him, the more you’re going to miss him.

That’s why actively fighting your urge to obsess over him is going to serve you so well in the long run – because the more you obsess over him, the more power he has over you, and the less that you’re able to get over him.

Instead of thinking about him, there are a number of things you can do to trick your mind into forgetting about him for a while, so that you can relax and stop obsessing.

There are a few great ways to do that. The most effective one is also the simplest – set your mind on someone else.

The more you think about him, the more you’re going to miss him.

It’s easier said than done, but by far the easiest way to get over an ex is to start thinking about someone else that’s new in your life. Think about other men and set your desire on them, and you’ll be shocked at how quickly your mind turns to the new guy (and not obsessing about your ex).

A great exercise is to try fantasizing about other men. Try to do it at least once per day. Even if it feels silly, pick the guy you’re most attracted to and go for it.

MORE: Complete Guide To Getting Your Ex To Miss You After A Breakup

It works better with guys you know in real life, but if you’re having trouble getting started then pick your favorite actor. The important part is that you do this once per day, and that you really stick with it. It might not seem like it’s doing much at first, but in reality it’s detoxing your mind consciously and unconsciously from your ex, and putting you in a much better mental state.

The third thing to do to erase his power over you is simple. Take out a pen and paper and write down all the things you didn’t like about your relationship with your ex. Everything he did that annoyed you, all the things you didn’t like about the relationship, and even all the things you didn’t like about BEING in a relationship.

Write all those things down and focus on them. That will help force your brain to realize that your relationship with him wasn’t all sunshine and happiness, and in fact there were a lot of reasons that you might not have been happy. Do that – and you’ll make huge strides in erasing his power over you.

So Other Than That, What Should You Be Doing During No Contact?

The best thing to do for yourself is to focus on yourself – and focus on being the best version of yourself that you can be.

One of the best possible things to do during no contact is start exercising (or to throw yourself into exercising if you already have a program).

Not only does it help you look your best, it gives you a place where you can stop thinking about your ex and just put all your focus and energy into your workout.

Plus, working out improves your mental state and makes you feel way better about yourself. The endorphins flooding your brain help you detox from the relationship and move on even faster.

Getting compliments from other guys definitely helps you move on too. One of the best ways to move on is to have a bunch of guys in your life who are fighting for your favor.

When you’re friends with other guys, then your ex has to wonder if one of them is dating you. You don’t have to date any of them, but just being friends with them and having them around is enough to give you a confidence boost and help you get over your ex.

MORE: How Guys Really Deal With Breakups

Plus, you can use those guys as emotional support too, instead of feeling the instinct to lean on your ex.

Finally, the most important thing to focus on during the no contact period is your vibe.

What’s Your Vibe?

Your vibe is your most attractive asset. It can work for you or against you, and when it’s working for you it’s magnetically attractive to any guy.

Your vibe is essentially your mood. It’s how you’re genuinely feeling at the moment (not how you’re pretending to be, but what you’re genuinely and truly feeling deep down).

So when your mood is genuinely good, relaxed, and happy, your vibe reflects that. When you’re feeling anxious, worried, desperate, or upset, your vibe reflects that too.

There is nothing more attractive to a guy than a woman who has a good vibe. Women who have a genuinely good vibe are more attractive to guys than any woman with a bad vibe, even if she’s got super-model looks.

The best way to understand what your vibe is and what it does for you is to use an example from your own life. Think about a friend you’ve known, either now or in the past, who just can’t help being negative.

There is nothing more attractive to a guy than a woman who has a good vibe.

It seems like every time you talk to this friend, they’re complaining about something that’s gone wrong in their life, or telling you about a problem that’s not their fault, or unburdening their unhappiness onto you.

It doesn’t feel good to talk to that friend, does it? When you see their name pop up on their phone, do you get an excited, positive charge?

No! You wind up with a sinking feeling in your gut! You’re not excited to talk to them, you’re dreading it.

That’s all because of their vibe. Because of their negativity, their vibe suffers, and it doesn’t feel good to be around them. If their vibe was good (because they worked on being in a good mood more), then you would feel happy and excited to talk to them.

That’s what you’re aiming for in your own life. When your vibe is fun, happy, and positive, people will be excited and happy to get closer with you.

MORE: How To Not Seem Desperate And Get Him Back

The best way to make sure your vibe is as positive as possible is to focus on making sure you’re in the best mood possible, and the best way to do that is to do the things that make you feel good.

During the no contact period, fill your life with things you love to do. Things that make you feel whole and that are massively fun to you.

When you focus on the things you really enjoy doing, it automatically improves your mood and revitalizes your vibe. One great thing to do is to put pictures of yourself doing all the things you love to do up on Facebook – because it’s super attractive to guys to see that you’re having fun and enjoying yourself.

Guys are attracted to a woman who has her own life, her own happiness, and feels whole outside of a relationship. In an ideal world, your relationship is just the icing on the cake – it’s not what makes your life good, but having it in your life makes your life better.

So focus on your vibe by doing the things that make you feel good and make you feel whole. When you do that, you naturally help yourself move on from the relationship (and become massively more attractive to your ex in the process.

If you’ve followed all these directions, eventually you’ll come to the end of the no contact period – and you’ll move on to Step 4.

Step 4: What To Do When He Reaches Out (Or How To Reach Out To Him)

At this point, take a second to pat yourself on the back. You made it to step 4 – and that’s worthy of congratulations.

At this point, the image of you as someone desperate, needy, and clingy in the mind of your ex has faded, and he’s almost certainly wondering what you’re up to.

He’s also thinking about the good times you two had together, now that the fresh memories of the painful breakup has faded.

And therefore, now is the perfect time to strike.

Here are the conditions you should have met by now, in order to maximize your chances of getting him back:

  • You haven’t contacted him in a full 4 weeks and followed the no contact rule.
  • You’ve gone out with another guy at least one time during no contact (this is maybe the best way to eliminate needy and desperate behavior and give you the best chance of getting your ex back)
  • You’ve put time and effort into making your life better and making positive changes.
  • You’ve fully accepted the fact that you and your ex have broken up, and you believe that you’ll be ok no matter whether you get back together with him or not.
  • You know deep in your heart that even if things don’t work out with your ex, there are millions of other guys out there that can’t wait to give you the love and happiness you’re looking for.
  • You’ve recovered mentally from the breakup and are in a much better mental state.
  • You’re confident and convinced that getting back together with your ex is the right decision.

If you can check off every item on this list, then you’re ready to get in contact with your ex.

If he hasn’t contacted you by the end of your 4th week of no contact, it’s time to reach out and get in touch, then meet up, and then…

He won’t be able to help himself.

While he’s been missing you and remembering the good times, you’ve been improving your mind, body, and self-image, and the full package will be irresistible.

So if you’ve successfully gone at least 4 weeks without contacting him, and you’ve made serious improvements in your life (by following the advice in Step 3), then you’re ready to reach out to him.

How Should You Reach Out To Him?

When it comes to reaching out to your ex, the best way to do it is through text messages. You don’t want to call him right away – better to let him build attraction in his mind before you two talk on the phone.

So that begs the question – what kind of text should you send him?

When you’re breaking the ice and contacting him again, the best kind of text is one that gives him a reason why you’re texting him, and also gets him thinking about you again.

One of the best ways to do that is to tell him about something positive that happened in your life that reminded you of him.

The best kind of text gets him thinking about you again.

Maybe a tv show or movie you saw recently made you think of him. Maybe you saw a commercial for a vacation and it reminded you of a trip you took with him.

MORE: More Ways To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back For Good

Whatever it is – it’s an opportunity to text him, “Hey, I saw a commercial for a cruise the other day and it reminded me when we went to the beach for a week together. That was so much fun, I’m really glad we did that together.”

The most important thing to remember is that you want to be subtle and positive. You’re not texting him to try to get him back, you’re not texting him to remind him of the relationship, you’re not even texting him to get him to like you again.

The reason you’re texting him is because it would be fun and feel good to talk to him again – and nothing more. No hidden motivation (like trying to get him back), no manipulation, and no agendas.

Now, a lot of the time, your ex will actually text you first. And when that happens, you’re going to want to have the perfect response already lined up.

That’s why I wrote this article about how to respond to your ex’s text messages.

Whatever message you want to send to him (whether it’s “I miss you and would love to get back together” or “stop texting me freak I want nothing to do with you”), you’ll find out the best way to say it in that article.

Now let’s get back to getting in touch with him after the no contact period is over.

Whatever you do, when you first text him, don’t bring up the relationship or the breakup. Don’t talk about how much you miss him, or that you want to get back together, or that you’re miserable that he’s not in your life.

Along the same veins, never text him with negativity. Don’t send him bitter or angry messages that will 100% make him ignore your texts and undo all your hard work in the no contact period.

At the same time, your text can’t just be ‘nothing’ either. Sending him a text that says nothing, like ‘heyyy’, or just a smiley emoji is going to turn him off.

One more thing to remember: don’t text him over and over again. Give him time and space to respond to your text, and never send him more than one text message in a row without him texting you back.

MORE: Advice On Getting Your Ex Back

Here’s your mindset when you reach out to him: you’re happy, strong, content with your life, and fulfilled. You know you’re attractive, and you have full choice in your love life.

You’re not trying to get him back, you just think that it would be a shame to throw away such a good friendship that you two had.

The way to frame the conversation is just like this: you’ve reflected on the breakup, and you fully believe that breaking up was the right thing to do – and that it was for the best for both of you. Still, it would be stupid to throw away such a great friendship.

How To Meet Up With Him

The best way to ask your ex out again is not to call it a date. Remember – you want to be friends with him and keep your friendship going – and calling it a date is going to send

him running (because it reveals that you have an agenda of getting back together with him, which will turn him off more than anything).

MORE: Tactics That Bring Your Ex Back To You

As long as you’ve completed the items on the list above and really put in the work, you’re going to feel and look great when you see him.

You’ll be super attractive, super confident, and super laid back – ready to just have a good time with him and enjoy yourselves together.

The best way to ask your ex out again is not to call it a date.

The most effective way to get him to come out and see you is by calling him. You can suggest meeting up for coffee or a drink, with the mindset that they’re a friend you want to meet up with, not an ex-boyfriend you want to get back.

As long as you focus all your energy and attention on having a good time in the moment with him and making sure that your mood is good (which makes sure that your vibe is good, which is the most attractive thing you can do), then the work you put in during the no contact period will do the rest.

Remember – the thing he’ll remember most about seeing you again (more than what you said, or what you did together, or who paid, or what you were wearing, or anything else), is your vibe.

If you’re wearing your cutest outfit and you’ve been working out and you look amazing and you have an awesome tan and you’re having a perfect hair day and you’re in a bad mood and have a bad vibe… that’s the only thing he’s going to remember.

(Sure, he might think “she looked good…”, but he’ll also be thinking “spending time with her felt really bad, I remember why we broke up.”)

It’s important for him to feel really good about spending time with you again… especially if things ended badly between you. The contrast between how things felt at the end of your relationship and how things feel now is key in getting back together with him.

If things felt awful, strained, and tense at the end of your relationship (which is very normal), then making sure your vibe is good is the best thing you can do. That way, he’ll be shocked at the difference in how it feels to be around you.

He’ll feel amazed at how good it feels to be with you if your vibe is good – which will remind him instantly of why you dated in the first place (and get the gears spinning in his head that you should maybe start dating again.)

If you’re in a bad mood and have a bad vibe… that’s all he’s going to remember.

All a bad vibe will do is remind him of when you two broke up – and reinforce in his mind that you’re better off apart.

So remember – when you meet up with him again after your breakup and after the no contact rule, it’s all about your vibe!

I hope this helped you understand exactly what to do in order to get your ex back. There’s one more thing to remember – even when you do get him back it’s very difficult to keep him… unless you know how to make him want to be with you and only you forever. You need this secret formula to get your ex back in your arms for good. It will reveal how to get him to see you as “the one” and desperately crave you by his side forever. If you don’t read this now you might miss your chance to get him back forever so don’t wait: Do You Want Your Ex Back? Use This To Get Them Back…

Now, if you want to know what you should do from that point forward, you need more personalized advice. On to step 5…

Step 5: Take The ‘Can I Get My Ex Back’ Quiz

Take this quiz right now to get personalized advice based on you and your specific situation. This quiz will gather all the information necessary to knowing exactly where you and your ex stand, and what the most effective way to get him back is.

Take the quiz right now and find out for sure whether you can get your ex back, or whether you should move on instead.

Want to find out if you can get your ex back? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can ever get him back or if he’s gone for good…

Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?

In summary…

Exactly How To Get Your Ex Back

  1. Step 1: Cut off contact with him
  2. Step 2: Avoid the fatal mistakes by ignoring your instincts
  3. Step 3: Get stronger while he gets weaker by working on yourself
  4. Step 4: Do the right things when he reaches out to you (here’s what to do)
  5. Step 5: Take the quiz and find out exactly what to do next

how to get your ex back

64 comments… add one
  • Felice September 5, 2017, 11:13 pm

    I called after a week of no contact & we pretty much were on the verge of breaking up but he confined it. It’s that he owed me money so I left a message and plus he told an ex I was doing drugs and doingbsexual acts for them. So I was pist off after she sent the message about what he told her. So now what do i do i know i should habe never contacted him but I was angry

  • Muskan August 31, 2017, 1:47 pm

    Hlo ,on 27th June he broken up with me,we spnd lot of time together,he is my first love and everything for me,ours relationship was to good evn in school all teachers know about tht we are in relationship, all students said made for each other ,I think about him always every minute ,I was wanting a2nd chance to solve the problem but he decided to breakup evn he doesn’t give any reason why he want to break up with me,i had sent him lot of msgs to convenience him,bt I also force him to continue the relationship otherwise I do sucide and all ,I know there is my mistake and I’m feeling guilty about this ,I was do this only because I don’t want let him go bt after doing this he starts hating.now he don’t evn want to talk me ,it’s hard it’s realize that I will never be with this boy again ,he is the boy who does not want to make me cry bt now he hates me because of my reason bt later I apologise him and try to convince him and pleased him to talk evn as a frnd but he doesn’t so please please please give me some advice how I get him back because I don’t want to leave him in any condition

    • Lillian September 1, 2017, 4:53 pm

      My bf broke up with me 1 week and a day ago and I miss him a lot and idk if he still loves me because last year he LOVED me we dated an entire summer then he broke up with me and I want to know why but we never even talk at ALL any more I need help with this problem give me some advice pls

  • Rosaline Hilton August 30, 2017, 9:41 pm

    I tried almost all the tricks which turned out to be good but didn’t work . But not until I met Dr. Alex Coopy. He’s a genius.

  • Henry k July 29, 2017, 7:51 am

    It really working,like my ex she want me back.bfor she left me,she want freedom i hav given har the chance now she want me to be with har againe. In my mind i said no vacancy againe.

  • mou July 19, 2017, 9:36 am

    my bf left me for another girl.he keeps telling me that i am nothing to him.he wants to b with the other girl.he has no feeling for me anymore.this has started more than one year ago.by this time he also speak to me but not on his own mood or to rebuild our relationship.he does so becz i request him to be with me at least for some hours or some minute… we talk only 2 or 3 days per a week…but I can’t stay without him I want him back.plzz help me…if this is possible for me to get him back as my bf again??

    • Ruben August 12, 2017, 6:03 am

      Yes for real you can get him back my sister had the same probke

  • mou July 19, 2017, 9:29 am

    my bf left me for another women.

    ..can i get him back???he talks to me very rudely..he acts like that i am nothing to him.he talks about the girl everytime when we talk to each other..he says that i am nothing to him..what can I do????plzz help meeee……I want him backk

  • jenny July 18, 2017, 6:58 pm

    i did no contact rules 3 weeks ago now he is the one chasing me like crazy but am not planning to text him yet yes i miss him alot but i have to finish no contact rules everytime i get bored i read this artcle just to be busy thank u

  • sarala tiwary July 18, 2017, 9:59 am

    i tried this n i was successful to hav him back but again he left me should i again try this rules??

    • Rita July 28, 2017, 9:52 pm

      Yes, please do.

  • Kendra Jones July 14, 2017, 10:01 am

    Easily said than done but its the only way to get your life back. Reality hurt anyway so fighting back is our only chance.

  • Himena June 21, 2017, 1:52 am

    So the one I love just stopped contacting and stopped taking my calls all of a sudden and everything was perfect the day before…but when there’s a call with another line,the dude picks up….do you really think the no contact rule will work in this case?….Please help

  • Ali June 16, 2017, 12:03 pm

    So my bf of almost two years changed our relationship from exclusively dating to date others. He did it because he met someone else. That first week was horrible since he’d still contact me daily. That hurt more than anything.

    We’ve had 3 dates since then. But as he’s seeing this other girl it’s hard for me. I am in love with him & have gone on a date with someone new as well as plans to date more guys.

    But I feel it’s time I actually break up with him. It’s like I’m the backup plan, as discussed in Forever Faithful. It’s been a full month.

    How do I tell him I don’t want to see him? Yes I do want him back exclusively as he is my one. Our relationship didn’t have any problems. I personally feel at 50.5 years old he’s going through a mid-life crisis.

    The other hard part is we were in a Dominant/submissive dynamic too. That in itself caused me to be needy for his attention and his world became my priority rather than focusing on me.

    His intention was to stop doing dates with me after this weekend until Aug when we had plans to go to a concert. I asked him yesterday when after the new gf told me he wasn’t going with me (he said he still planned to go) did he really think I’d be okay with that? I feel he doesn’t really know me. He really believes I’ll just wait around for him.

    So to do this no contact for 4 weeks do I even tell him it’s over for me or just start it since as of yesterday he’s upset with me I let the new girl know we’re still dating. And yes it appears he’s lying to both of us.

    But I do want him back.

    • Ali June 19, 2017, 1:32 am

      I officially broke up with him last night. No contact started today after we got back from camping. He said “I’m sure we’ll see each other”.

      I replied back “no” got in my vehicle and drove away.

      I’ll update in 4 weeks.

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  • Melissa May 22, 2017, 5:14 am

    My boyfriend told me that he wants space and during the space period he wants to do whatever he wants then when things work out we’ll get back together… I told him I’m not going to allow you to do whatever you want and he said it’s not considered as cheating cause we’re not together

  • maria May 20, 2017, 9:32 pm

    i need my ex lover back kindly contact dr alexzander high temple

  • Apiko Barbara May 16, 2017, 10:38 am

    I fear to let him go but at the same I miss & love him. But then I want to go over the break up and not getting him back

  • Tammy May 3, 2017, 8:03 pm

    honestly I did not show appreciation to my ex while we together. I missed valentines day and his birthday. when I decided to make the best of times with him it was to late. then I asked him for closure and he came talked in person. I told what if I got therapy because there is something going on that effects my relationships. he told its been three weeks and I’m over you….. I cried of course then looked at him and said I feel better. just got sick of being sad, doesn’t mean I’m over him. but its step. then I told me what was really going on and told he’s proud of me said I’m strong person and good girl. he told me to feel free to talk to him and said he wont be jerk to me. he also wants to improve. it sucks that I was to occupied with other stuff in life that i didn’t learn to understand him but oh well. that doesn’t mean has feelings for me. sadly I cant live in world that revolves around him I must create my own world and keeping living up to my goals. this relationship may have been painful but helped realize what I need. we are blind from pain because only look at the bad qualities that it brings us but we all need realize its actually beautiful because it shapes us. I’m going to embrace it this break up..

  • Michael Ireland April 26, 2017, 12:18 am

    I want my girlfriend back from Ada Baker

    • Michael Ireland April 26, 2017, 12:28 am

      I want my girlfriend back beautiful message girl in Merimbula and cute and funny and guy make smile and laugh and better things to say that I love you Ada Baker biggest love heart hot and sexy girlfriend and her beautiful person my brother and Trisha getting in Engaged wedding on 14th April next year church so I love my girlfriend so i gotta love to her help me with any of the world very much

  • Dishant April 24, 2017, 3:42 pm

    i had broke up with girlfriend from 5 months, i tried call and massages and also tried to meet but i had no contact of you,
    she disturbed from my call and massages and block on social netoworking sites. now she unblocked me, i am trying to massege like, hiii and hello
    and she replied little, i am trying to conviced her but she is ignoring me and want to move on.
    Before 1 month i visited your websited and try to following your stepps. now she is respoding me well than before from her social status and posts.
    1 day is left to complete your steps of NO CALLS & MESSAGES, After complete it, what will be your suggetions for this situation.
    Her Birthday is coming on 9th may, So i just want to ask you What will be your suggetion on that, should i meet her???

  • Angie April 19, 2017, 9:17 am

    He broke up with me a week ago over the phone. We were together for 7 months and had a deep connection. I have not contacted him since. Yesterday I received a text from him explaining why he did it and apology. Pretty much he is not over his divorce, has health issues, dealing with work problems, trying to work on a relationship with his kids and now is not a good time and not fair to me to continue the relationship. Should I respond or keep no contact for 30 days? Or should I acknowledge the text and respond?

    • loveth April 21, 2017, 9:52 am

      angie if you still love him watsapp me at+2348182260982 so i can help you

  • W April 14, 2017, 3:49 pm

    This is the same article ,same exact wording they they tell guys I find it b.s just switching the word him to her. Guys like to be chased unless they found someone they like more and if they like them back . Then they don’t really care what you do I’m assuming girls are the same. It’s a sad world chase catch get bored and release I find this more common for women to get bored and move on. Or cheat and stay in the relationship and keep cheating on the side . They stay married or with someone for benefits of the man’s provisions

  • kate January 1, 2017, 11:53 pm

    My vibe was affected by stress of school and radiated out into other areas of my life without my realizing…granted my ex never communicated how I was making him feel, but the breakup made me realize what had happened and how i can get those stress levels down and vibe up…I am prepared it is too late…he will never be able to share those vibes. But if he doesn’t hes also missing out because I feel good, a little sad it didn’t work out, but good overall.

  • Wonder December 14, 2016, 1:56 am

    I love this article, I am definitely going to follow your advice. My only concern is that my ex might’ve done the 4wk no contact along with every thing else to me already. He now texts me everyday and he recently told me that he loves me and he misses me but hasn’t said he wants to get back together and he is talking to another girl. Should I still do this?

  • Ele_tra December 6, 2016, 5:39 am

    At first he said he needed a break and after three weeks plus he called it off totally, he has a strong mind too. H e called on my birthday and said he misses me, but its been two weeks plus after the real breakup, can i still get him back with this tips?

  • Elsa Nguyen November 19, 2016, 12:15 pm

    i had a boyfriend we were serious now its been more than a week i did no contact or begging or crying since hes been gone he have a new girlfriend they been together for a year it broke my heart hes with another girl i really miss him like crazy i cant stop thinking about him can i get him back or its too late??

  • Amanda October 31, 2016, 7:51 am

    Been trying to slowly get my long distance ex back since January, and we’re on speaking terms again now, and even though that’s a huge step forward, I still have doubt. He’s always been a kind of distant person, and since he first reached out to me like 2 months back, I have initiated all conversations since then. I’m suspecting that’s what you call the hot and cold-treatment? Still, I really wanna get him to open up and finally realize that he loves me after all. If y’all have any more tips, I’d love to hear them.

  • Shruti October 1, 2016, 3:37 pm

    Hi, he dumped me for other girl did he ever come back? Is he missing me. Still he has feeling for me.how do i get him bavk?

  • do July 26, 2016, 5:21 am

    Here’s my problem, I was begging, pleading, and trying to look pity for my ex-girlfriend just to make her stay. We had sex then goodbye. Then i saw your videos about No Contact Rules. Following your advice about no contact rules was hard as hell. My target is FULL 30 DAYS no contact but in my two weeks of battle. Suddenly she texted me, i try to ignore her, then she call me using other number so we talked since its likely rude to ignore her at all. She told me she wasn’t happy in her new bf. She felt sorry for me. She’s asking me if there was any chance to rebuild our relationship?Is she still welcome to my life? I told her i am awesome now, i currently dating to someone else the she get madly jealous. She doesn’t want me to date others.She really want to see me but ill be the one who refuse to see her. I told her i will only see you when you come back to me. She wanted me to stick around but u said to your videos not to get in friendzone.

    My question sir is:

    Do i stop the no contact rules since she already realized her mistake?
    i can now feel the ball is on my court,but i jst dont know how to say how i want her back.

  • davina June 2, 2016, 11:14 am

    i luv this article! thx 4ur advices

  • marcella May 31, 2016, 4:10 pm

    iv used most of these tricks b4 & unlickily they workd..hope they work 4 u all as well

  • carmen May 27, 2016, 3:41 pm

    i just realizd iv been doing d wrong things uugh

  • madge May 26, 2016, 7:52 pm

    i luv this stuff..haha kinda funny sneaky but real

  • manuela May 24, 2016, 3:21 pm

    oooohh..cant w8 2 try these tips & wil upd8 u 4 any results

  • rae May 23, 2016, 5:28 pm

    im too shy 2 b the 1st 1 to reach out

  • katee May 20, 2016, 3:30 pm

    i wanna do this, im scared he might reject me in d end :((

    • Carole February 2, 2017, 1:13 am

      Yes, he may, but at least you’ll know and can then get peace.

  • kendall May 19, 2016, 5:36 pm

    give him space to miss you and realize (all on his own) that he wants to have you back. – definitely!!

  • candice May 18, 2016, 6:54 pm

    negative emotions and feelings are working against you, and will wind up pushing him away, while positive emotions and feelings will work for you, and magnetically draw him back to you. – yup, got that right!

  • phoemelaB May 18, 2016, 12:46 pm

    i wouldnt wna do this. if 4a diff guy mayb

  • dawn May 16, 2016, 1:55 pm

    “First, it’s to get control of yourself and get some perspective on the relationship.” – this is a great point..hope all women try this instead of jumping into getting back into the relationship at once

  • christy May 13, 2016, 1:00 pm

    never ever use pity 2 get him back

  • sabine May 13, 2016, 5:57 am

    i want to KEEP him..ill read this article & try to follow thru

  • carmel May 12, 2016, 9:43 am

    Women w/ genuinely good vibe are more attractive to guys than any woman with a bad vibe – way to inspire me, yay!

  • charmaine May 11, 2016, 5:15 am

    be urself & dont try too hard. wait 4 the right time, everything will fall into place

  • mariz May 10, 2016, 11:33 am

    getting him back shouldnt b that difficult since being in a relationship w/ him 4 sumtime u should know what he likes&dislikes. its more of knowing if he would even want 2b wit u again..EVER.

  • chloe May 6, 2016, 9:01 pm

    i wna get him back & keep him for reals
    i see my life w/ him, i so need these tips

  • ellen May 6, 2016, 1:34 pm

    oh i badly need this thx 2 my friend @carla 4 sending this link 2me
    hope this works 4me & my situation

  • cameron May 5, 2016, 6:28 am

    1st step is very important & crucial. u need 2 cut all forms of communication & give each other space

  • cheska May 3, 2016, 9:04 pm

    take ur time and reflect on what went wrong. from there, u gauge on whether u need to win him back or not. remember, u deserve only the best so dont settle for less.

  • kendra_doll May 2, 2016, 3:17 pm

    just be yourself and be genuine, your ex must know the real you so there’s no need for any kind of showmanship

  • ethel April 29, 2016, 8:35 pm

    im stil inluv w/ him., definitely trying ur advice., thx

  • myrdahl April 29, 2016, 5:48 am

    yeah, what if he finds sum1 new during the no contact period?? that will drive me crazyyy

  • gale April 27, 2016, 12:32 pm

    giving him space & time alone allows him to miss u & eventually realize ur worth

  • kari April 26, 2016, 12:43 pm

    Pity isn’t attractive. Neither is begging. Period.

  • Eva_G April 21, 2016, 8:16 pm

    yup, never give him tons and tons of attention..

  • Brianna April 20, 2016, 7:03 pm

    i need more than 4 wks to be calm after a breakup, this is so hard

  • gale April 19, 2016, 7:00 pm

    i always feel jealous when i know he starts seeing another woman then i begin 2 text him.. how could ever get out of this situation?! its crazy, ikr?

  • JD_Park April 18, 2016, 2:02 pm

    I recently met an awesome guy & finally convinced that i should b moving on from a breakup I just cant figure out how. but now i came across this article, im starting 2think twice. should i even try to get back w/ my ex? im torn! :(

  • Jen April 15, 2016, 11:34 pm

    u hav reasons breakin up wit him, why even bother stalkng him? keep ur heads up ladies! stop acting so desperate!

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