You’re here because you want to know the signs that a guy is pulling away.
You’re afraid that your man is withdrawing from you. He’s doing things (or not doing things) that make you think he’s growing more and more distant from you, and that he might even leave you.
That’s a terrifying thought. You might even be thinking that you won’t be “ok” if he breaks up with you. You just don’t want it to be true that he’s pulling away from you.
So you’re looking for signs that a guy is withdrawing from a relationship, and hoping to yourself that he won’t be doing anything on the list.
That makes sense. That’s why I’m going to give you a list of things guys do that make women afraid they’re pulling away.
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Here Are Things Guys Do That Women Take As Signs He’s Pulling Away
If you’re freaked out that he’s pulling away, he’s probably doing one or more of the things on this list:
- He’s acting distant towards you all of a sudden
- He doesn’t pick up when you call him
- He used to text you sweet things and now he doesn’t anymore
- He used to be more attentive and thoughtful towards you and now he’s not
- He cancels dates on you at the last minute
- It just feels like you’re getting weird ‘vibes’ from him
- He goes ‘hot and cold’ on you
- He takes forever to text you back
If he’s doing one or a few of the things on this list, it’s easy to think that it means he’s pulling away from you.
But is that actually true?
Is He Really Pulling Away From You?
All of the above are signs that he could be withdrawing from you.
or… any and all of them could be him responding to one of a million other things going on in his life.
Reading that list all together makes it seem super obvious that he’s withdrawing. But let’s go through the list one by one and take a look at other things they could mean.
1. He’s Acting More Distant All Of A Sudden
This could mean that he’s losing interest. However, just because it could mean that doesn’t mean it definitely means that.
In fact, there are a million other reasons he could be acting distant towards you. He could have something going on in his personal life that’s draining all of his attention. He could be focusing on a problem that’s taking up all his mental energy.
He could be feeling like he has to focus on one specific thing in his life right now – and paying you less attention as a result.
Does that mean he’s withdrawing from you? No!
Could that make you feel like he’s withdrawing from you? Of course!
2. He Doesn’t Pick Up When You Call and 3. He Takes Forever To Text You Back
Many women think that if he goes a day without answering your texts or calls, it means he’s losing interest in you.
They’re picturing the guy sitting around, nothing much going on, seeing the texts and calls come in, and flat out ignoring them on purpose.
When you really take the time to think about that – doesn’t it seem a little ridiculous?
Guys are single minded. They like to focus on one thing and work through it until it’s complete. That’s why study after study has shown that women are better multi-taskers than men are.
So if he ignores your calls and texts, he’s probably focusing on something and blocking out all distractions until it’s finished. Maybe he’s got a tight deadline at work that he needs to finish.
Or maybe his phone is just dead.
Whatever the reason – if he hasn’t answered your texts and calls it doesn’t automatically mean that he’s pulling away from you – and in fact it’s almost certainly because of something else.
4. He’s Going ‘Hot And Cold’ On You and 5. He Used To Be More Attentive And Text Sweet Things And Now He Doesn’t
I see this behavior confuse tons of women, so I’m going to let you in on a secret that very few women know about.
When a guy is super sweet and attentive, especially at the beginning of a relationship, it’s not always what it seems. If he’s texting you things like “I can’t wait to see you again,” or “I can’t believe how much I like you, it happened so quickly,” – he’s not really being sincere.
In fact, it usually means that he’s a super insecure guy who’s looking for a concrete statement from you that you really do like him. He’s trying to ‘fish’ that statement out of you by being super sweet right at the beginning.
So if he used to be super lovey-dovey, and then backed off once you told him you felt the same, it’s probably because he’s an insecure guy who was looking for reassurance that you liked him, and now that he knows you do he’s backing down on the charm.
If this is a longer relationship we’re talking about, then there are lots of other reasons he could be less attentive now than he used to be. All the previous reasons about distractions in his life still apply – if all his mental energy is being taken up by a problem or something cropping up at work, it doesn’t mean he’s pulling away from you.
6. He Cancels Dates On You At The Last Minute
It’s happened to all of us, and I know that when you get cancelled on last minute it feels awful – just a wave of disappointment washing over you.
Of course, in everyone’s life we have to cancel plans last minute sometimes – whether it’s because of car troubles, or sick family members, or whatever. Sometimes life just throws you a curveball and you have to bow out of plans.
If he cancels plans last minute once or twice, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s losing interest. It’s far more likely that he had legitimate reasons to cancel.
If it’s a pattern with him, where he’s constantly cancelling plans with you last minute, that’s a different story. If that’s the case, it’s time to take a hard look at the relationship you have with him and decide whether you want it to continue or not.
Remember, you have the power to walk away from any situation if you’re not getting what you need out of it. If you don’t want to be with a guy who cancels plans all the time, and he won’t stop flaking out on you, it might be time to walk away.
Now that we’ve covered those signs, let’s cover the last one:
What To Do If You’re Getting ‘Weird Vibes’ From Him
So you’re feeling some weird vibes from him – it just feels like he’s acting more distant towards you. Does that mean he’s pulling away from you?
Almost certainly not.
We covered this before, but it’s worth saying again – guys like to concentrate on one thing at a time. If he’s got something going on in his life that’s stressing him out, demanding all his attention, and monopolizing his time, it could 100% seem like he’s pulling away from you when he’s really not.
So why am I going into detail here? Because this situation can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy, really fast.
It usually goes something like this: Guy gets distracted by something in his life > his girlfriend feels his absence and starts worrying that he’s pulling away > her anxiety and fear of loss actually starts driving him away for real > the relationship ends up falling apart.
When a woman becomes afraid that her man is pulling away and leaving her, all of a sudden her feelings towards him are defined by fear, instead of happiness. Her emotions and her actions become governed by fear of loss rather than the happiness of being in a relationship.
That kind of fear and anxiety create a toxic situation where both partners feel uncomfortable and unhappy in the relationship. Usually, it results in the woman inwardly freaking out and microanalyzing everything the guy is doing, looking for ‘signs’ that he’s pulling away from her.
That feels bad enough for her, and it’s even worse when you factor in how it feels from his perspective. All of a sudden, a relationship that just felt *good* to be in suddenly feels uncomfortable. He can feel her microanalyzing his actions, and it feels like he has to walk on eggshells in order to avoid upsetting her.
That kind of dynamic is poison to a relationship. It makes it so that it’s not fun to be around each other anymore – instead of spending relaxed, comfortable, contented time with each other, she’s constantly looking for reassurance that he still likes her, and he’s having to watch everything he says and does.
Eventually, relationships that fall into that kind of dynamic fall apart. Here’s the real question:
How Do You Avoid Falling Into The ‘Weird Vibe’ Trap?
If you want to avoid something like that happening in your relationship, there’s one simple thing to remember:
Don’t fall into the trap of wondering whether he’s pulling away from you. Just avoid it altogether by realizing that there’s no way of ever knowing for sure what’s going on in his head.
You can’t ever read his mind – and if you try to it will only hurt your relationship. Trying to guess what he’s thinking messes you up mentally and definitely drives him away, even if he wasn’t feeling like he had to pull away in the first place.
The best thing to do is to go about your life as you normally would, and give him the space to show you whether he’s interested or not.
One of the biggest factors (maybe the biggest) that goes towards whether a relationship works or not is whether you can answer this question with a yes: “Are you having fun with each other?”
Good relationships work because both partners have fun when they’re around each other. It feels *good* to be around each other, and that’s like a magnet that draws them closer and closer together.
more: Why Guys Pull Away
Guys will always, always, always show you whether they’re interested. If he’s interested in you, you’re not going to have to guess at it, he’ll show you with the effort he puts towards spending time with you.
However, if you’re worried he’s pulling away and looking for reassurance that he wants to spend time with you, it’s easy to not give him enough space and wind up pushing him further away.
The best thing to do is to give him the space to come to you. If he wants to be a part of the relationship, he’s going to show you that with his actions.
If he doesn’t come back to you – it sucks, but in the end you’ll be ok. All that means is that your relationship wasn’t going to work… he wouldn’t have changed his mind if you had chased after him begging him to stay. All that would have done is drive him away from you more quickly (or, if he’s not a good guy, let him wrap you around his finger while he dangled a relationship in front of you).
Better to know earlier rather than later whether he’s really interested in you or not.
If he does come back to you – great! He wasn’t withdrawing from you in the first place, and he must have been acting distant for some other reason. You avoided the ‘weird vibe’ trap and things can go back to normal.
I hope this article helped you understand the signs that a guy is pulling away. It’s a question I get asked a lot – so I wrote this article to make sure women could read the signs he’s pulling away and know how to understand them. It’s important to note that if you want to actually stop him from pulling away forever you have to know exactly what to do or else he’s as good as gone. If you want to know how, you need to read this right now: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
Want to find out if he’s really losing interest? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…